
“Dear PoPville,
Question for you/popville: what’s chicken bacon ranch pizza guy up to? Hope he’s doing alright and eating all the CBR he has ever hoped for.”
Ask and ye shall receive:
“Hey, guys. It’s me — Chicken Bacon Ranch guy.
Surely you remember, five years ago, when hundreds of this blog’s commenters chewed me up and spat me out like a chicken ranch slice with no bacon on it. A few of you came to my aid, but most of you were hungry for my blood. I was hungry only for Chicken Bacon Ranch.
You called me a “dunce,” “an asshat,” and an “over-entitled d-bag.” You insulted my home state, saying I was a “typical mouthy New Yorker,” and that I should go back there (I didn’t). Thank god I’m anonymous.
I doubt anyone needs a recap of what happened, but if you moved here pre-Trump, you might not understand the regular, unending referenc








