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“Dear PoPville,

Not all heroes wear capes. I ordered way too many Girl Scout cookies from my niece so that I could feed my entire office and also help my niece reach her cookie sale goals. The unmarked box had not even been outside my door for more than 5 minutes before a porch pirate came by. If it wasn’t for this hero who literally stopped to get out of his vehicle and prevent the theft, the box would have been stolen. I was way too confused when I came outside to understand what happened. Be on the lookout for the thief. And if you know the HERO, please let me know so I can give him proper thanks. [video of incident here.]”

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“Dear PoPville,

Does anyone have any advice on how to reach out to a package thief? Has anyone been able to get a package back? Find a stolen package? I’m at 18th and T NW, and a package disappeared that contained family heirloom pillowcases from Turkey — they looked like the above. I’m sure a package thief was disappointed and tossed them. Or are things being sold somewhere? Can I find it somehow? Any thoughts?”

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“Dear PoPville,

My wife and I were wondering if our baby daughter’s new fall and winter clothes had arrived yesterday and were surprised to not find them on the porch. We looked back through the footage on our camera and discovered that a package thief had walked right on up and taken them at about 2pm on Tuesday afternoon. A minute prior, he could be seen walking up the street, saying hello to our neighbor, and then exclaiming that he “forgot his keys” and walking away back towards the nearby grocery store. Read More

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Ed. Note: To be honest, the whole thing just makes me sad. Obviously package theft is maddening and frustrating, and maybe I’m reading too much Humans of New York, but after reading the flyer I feel a bit bad for the guy. Obviously, he shouldn’t be stealing. Of course. Let me be crystal clear – stealing is wrong. But I’m wondering, why is he stealing? What got him to this point? Maybe he is a selfish jerk or maybe he’s had a really tough life and is in a bad spot.

Anyway, I’m just depressed about how divided our city has become and it feels like it’s getting worse. I’m left with this nagging sadness. I hope this guy stops stealing. I hope he can be healed. I hope our city can be healed. I’m not terribly optimistic at the moment. I’m going for a walk.

A reader reports reports from Trinidad:

“Cool it, Morpheus just gets me every time I read it. Transcript below…

Have you seen this man?

Seen on camera swiping packages at 4pm on 3/27

He puts them underneath his out of style leather jacket.

Seriously are you an extra in the Matrix? Read More

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2018 ladies and gentlemen. 2018 cont. Thanks to Michelle for sending the update from USA Today:

“The creator of a viral prank video which claimed to shame porch thieves using a high-tech glitter bomb has admitted that some of the reactions in the video were faked.”

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