I love to discuss hypotheticals, ethics, and things that are squishy and hard to navigate. So, whenever I reign as Lord of Petworth, I like to pose questions to see what people would do.

So, here is today’s…

There is a house down the street from mine. About two years ago, things started to fall apart for the family that lived there: three generations of very sick, very obese women. First, the oldest one died. For some reason, that seemed to be the undoing for them.

Shortly after, their house was listed as a foreclosure property (word around the neighborhood was that they had gotten a sub-prime mortgage on the house–previously completely paid off–and couldn’t keep up). Eventually, they lost the place. It went so far as curbing them and all their possessions.

That’s when we started to get a hint of what happened in there.

Shortly afterwards, guys showed up to clean up the house. Mind you, this is after the two women had been curbed. These guys hauled out three dump trucks full of trash from that 1,400 sq ft rowhouse: boxes of stuff, broken appliances, and just…junk.

Then a few days later, another group of people showed up, seriously, in hazmat suits. They hauled out piles of garbage.

It appeared the women, all in bad shape, just threw all their garbage into the basement where it…sat. The couple living next door swears that they have been smelling garbage through the walls for years. They, and a few other neighbors, bought cats after the clean-out fearing that rodents living there would go searching for some new digs.

So, after all this drama, a contractor bought the place and started working on doing a fairly decent rebuild of the place. While there were a few cut corners, by and large, the place is now a complete, yet modest, renovation.

A few months ago, after sitting on the market for awhile, we noticed the “for sale” sign was gone and there were signs of activity there.

A nice young couple bought the place and are very excited to have a home all their own together.

Nice ending, right? Well, here is where the quandary is: Should I tell them about the house’s history?

On one hand, I feel some sense of obligation to tell them–simply in case they experience anything weird and dangerous (mold, rodents, etc) that may have been caused from its previous state. Also, if it were me, I’d kind of want to know.

On the other, the house has been completely renewed since all that happened, so any concerns from the past may be entirely moot. But can I say that for sure?

And just in case you are wondering–there is no way they could read this and figure out I’m talking about them. They barely know my name, let alone what I do, and certainly that I am the Lord of Petworth. So I’m not telling them by posting this.

So, what would you do? Tell or don’t tell?

HEADS UP: The video has some language in it that probably won’t fly blaring out of your office speakers. Oh, and there is some violence and blood. Probably should just say this is NSFW.

What what?

This seems to be blowing up everywhere today. WTOP, DCist, and a bunch of other news outlets have some info, though there doesn’t seem to be much more than a shocking video and a description from police that–hold on to your hat–doesn’t seem to quite match what we see in the video.

Something makes me thing this won’t end well for anyone involved.

So, I’m curious how you describe your neighborhood to people from elsewhere.

Let’s assume for this post that you don’t live in Georgetown or Palisades or Spring Valley. Plus, I’m sure there are other blogs for you people.

Anyhow, I’ve always struggled how to describe my neighborhood to outsiders in a way that’s honest, but respects my neighbors.

For example, I’ve heard lots of people say they live in a “changing neighborhood.” Really? How do your long-term neighbors feel about that term? Do they feel like it’s a changing neighborhood? Or does using terminology like that make them feel like they are part of what’s being changed?

I live in Petworth, just north of Grant Circle. So I often tell people that the gentrification in the rest of the city is happening there, but at a slower, more comfortable, pace. But who knows, even that could be a stupid thing to say.

But I try to stay away from terms like “changing neighborhood” or “gentrifying neighborhood” because I wouldn’t want my neighbors to think I’m eager for them to leave (concerning 92% of them, I hope they stay a long time).

Am I being overly concerned about nothing? How do you describe it?

So “Empire State of Mind,” “New York, New York”–okay, we get it. A lot of people love NYC and want to sing about it. Okay, a lot of people, obviously, as there are hundreds of songs about New York City.

But what about us? We are the most powerful city on Earth. Shouldn’t we get something?

DC has a lot of great music, obviously. Bluegrass, hard core, go go, hip hop, jazz, and even opera. In fact, I’d put DC music up against just about any music scene in the country, if for no other reason than its eclecticism.

But songs about Washington? There we are a little slim.

The ones that come to mind aren’t particularly flattering: Bad Brains “Banned in DC”, “Mt Pleasant Isn’t Anymore” by The Evens, Skip James “Washington DC Hospital Center Blues,” Scapegoat’s “Walk in Washington,” and even Burning Airlines’ “Wheaton Calling.”

Sure, there’s Parliament’s “Chocolate City”–but that’s just cool because it’s Parliament. But that pales in comparison to NYC, which has 22 songs about it that start with the letter “P.”

So let’s co-opt a song. I am willing to use my power and influence as Lord of Petworth to unilaterally decree a song as DC’s theme song–but I’d like your help in picking. If you were going to adopt a song for Washington, DC–a theme song–what would you pick and why?

Coming on the heels of Bike to Work Day on Friday, I (and 5,000 others) participated in Bike DC on Sunday.

In case you’ve never heard of it, once a year, by some great feat, what could only be a magnormous sea of bureaucracy and red tape is parted so that bicyclists can ride 20 miles through downtown DC and Arlington on the streets and highways–without cars on them.

It is quite an amazing experience–you riding on the street with no worries about being flattened. You even get to run red lights. At first, it is quite surreal–like doing something you aren’t supposed to be doing. I think everyone felt that way, because the pace of the ride was really slow for the first few miles and most riders stayed in big clusters.

Once we got across to the GW Parkway (again, on the highway bridge–which just felt so amazingly odd on a bike), people started to pick their own pace. Though most riders, probably out of habit more than anything else–usually stayed glued to the far right side of the carless roads.

I thought the hills on the GW Parkway would be the worse–and they were unrelenting–but the hills around the Air Force and Iwo Jima memorials spanked me pretty hard.

Overall it was great fun.

A big thank you should go out to the hundreds of people who made it possible: dozens and dozens of volunteers that kept riders safe, fed, and going in the right direction; the many law enforcement and EMS personnel who worked the route and kept traffic under control; the organizers who take on the huge logistics of this event and make it happen flawlessly; and especially to those in local government who have the vision and open-mindedness to help something like this happen.

I’m sure there are plenty of pictures in the media, but if you are too lazy to look for them, you can look at my incredibly bad and unsatisfying photos taken during the ride here.

Any other Bike DC riders out there?

Okay, before we really get going on my latest reign as Lord of Petworth, I’d like to take a moment to come clean on why I’m here–and why the Prince of Petworth is not.

Last night, our Prince of Petworth got hitched.

He and his brand new wife… (Well, she isn’t “brand new,” really–that would be weird, like marrying an infant or something. No, she’s been around for a few years…a bona fide adult, even.)

ANYHOW, he and his wife are taking a few well-deserved days away to contemplate what they’ve done and how they can get out of it without having to return any of their wedding gifts.

And let me answer the question about the wedding that I know everyone is wondering: Yes, I looked fantastic.

In all seriousness, the wedding was letter perfect. Despite the threat of rain on the outdoor wedding, the sun came out and it was lovely. The Prince definitely “married up,” his bride is not only one of the most charming and kind people I’ve met here in DC, but last night she looked ridiculously beautiful.

And I don’t think the Prince could have smiled any more than he did.

I think it would be great if you folks took a moment to leave the Prince and his bride a shout out in the comments. If 3,000 people can leave comments every time any PoP post mentions crime, gentrification, cats, graffiti, bad restaurant service, or teenagers–than I think you folks can knock out a quick congrats on a happy occasion.

Good morning everyone!

In case you didn’t notice, the world did not end on Saturday.

Apparently, there has been some confusion.

Let me clarify:

It is, in fact, time to prepare yourselves. Time to prepare for something so awesome that it has been foretold in the Bible.

The return of The Lord.

No, actually, not that other Lord.

Me. The Lord of Petworth.

Though they had the date off by a few days. Instead of Saturday, I’m actually returning today. But no worries, I will be gone by Thursday. And don’t get any ideas. Despite what the bible says, I’m not taking any of you with me when I leave. (You should be happy about this.)

In truth, my name is Eric Nuzum. As my lovely wife will tell you, I spend far too much time writing things. I’ve spent the last few years channeling most of my writing energy into my new book, which, when released next spring, will melt your face off with its incredibleness. (You should be happy about this, too.)

However, in a moment of weakness, our beloved Prince of Petworth has, again, asked me emerge from exile to become the Lord of Petworth to fill in while he is gone. And again, in a complimenting moment of weakness, I accepted.

PoP has left a few items behind that will pop up every day–doors, coffee spots, houses, restaurants…you know the drill. It’s kinda like when Mom leaves on a trip and puts a bunch of frozen lasagnas and left-overs in the fridge for you to eat while she’s gone. But, in truth, you have no interest in Mom’s casseroles. You plan to order pizza every night.

That pizza is me.

Kinda.

Well, I think you get what I mean.

Anyhow, I’ll be in and out over the coming days. If you have anything to share with me directly–or ideas for things to write about–you can reach me at eric (dot) nuzum (at) gmail (dot) com.

Enjoy.

Thank you, PoPvillians, for allowing me to be your Lord of Petworth for the past two days.

The photo above is homage to the commenter, who upon learning I would be minding PoPville for a few days, commented, “Great…excretory humor and ‘junk punch’ jokes.”

Okay, so I admit I had to look up what “junk punch” meant. As for as the aforementioned “scatological humor”–okay, so I did nix one post that had a prominent poo mention, but I think I have been, otherwise, tastefully restrained.

So, from your comments on my posts, what have I learned?

Well…I learned that you really love the Prince and miss him when he is gone. (I’m sure that reading my ramblings just made it worse–sorry.) That makes total sense. I’m quite fond of him too.

I’m sure I’ll be back here again occaisionally, whenever I have some lame, half-baked hypothetical or infuriating stupid observation about life in our fair city. Until then, you can always find me on my web site and on Twitter (@ericnuzum).

Have a great weekend, folks. The Prince will be back on his throne Monday morning.

(Oh, and in case you are curious, the “Guess Poo” game above is a mock-up, created by some dude for his 9-year-old nephew. More info on his game here.)

Every few weeks your Prince of Petworth, Heather Goss of DCist, and myself, your newly anointed Lord of Petworth, get together for a happy hour or a deliciously boozey lunch. The Prince and Heather chat about the DC blog scene…and I pinch myself to stay awake and pretend it is interesting.

Heather curates and coordinates a lot of fantastic photography shows, if you haven’t seen one or participated, you are really missing something fun.

If you are a shutterbug type, there is only a week left to enter your photos in the annual DCist Exposed Photography Show contest. Now in its fifth year, Exposed features the best of local amateur photography. Winners get their framed photo hung in the Long View Gallery, greeted with an opening reception in mid-March (last year saw over 1200 visitors the first night), and FREE PIE FOR LIFE. (Okay, I’m kidding about the pie, but it is still pretty cool.) For just a $5 entry fee, you can enter three photos. Deadline is January 12; winners will be announced on January 19. Here is where to go for rules and more info.

There is also an associated Kickstarter project to create a magazine of previous Exposed winners, which would look great on your coffee table (or at least do a nice job of covering up the nicks and stains on your coffee table).

Okay, alright. Busted. So I am using this post as an opportunity to share a picture of my adorable son. (And with such a charming, handsome father, it should be no surprise how adorable he is.) I am the Lord of Petworth…I can do this if I want to.

So I need some help from my fellow procreators out there.

Having a little kid in the summer is easy. Parks. Zoo. Fort Reno. Outdoor festivals. There is lots of stuff to do.

So now we are facing our first winter with an active child. So…what are we supposed to do with him? He isn’t old enough to get much out of museums and it seems like everywhere we go–I see tons of coughing children and all I can think about is germs.

Help me parents. What are some good activities for young children during the cold months?