Rejoice! The Lord has returned!

by Eric Nuzum May 23, 2011 at 9:04 am 10 Comments

Good morning everyone!

In case you didn’t notice, the world did not end on Saturday.

Apparently, there has been some confusion.

Let me clarify:

It is, in fact, time to prepare yourselves. Time to prepare for something so awesome that it has been foretold in the Bible.

The return of The Lord.

No, actually, not that other Lord.

Me. The Lord of Petworth.

Though they had the date off by a few days. Instead of Saturday, I’m actually returning today. But no worries, I will be gone by Thursday. And don’t get any ideas. Despite what the bible says, I’m not taking any of you with me when I leave. (You should be happy about this.)

In truth, my name is Eric Nuzum. As my lovely wife will tell you, I spend far too much time writing things. I’ve spent the last few years channeling most of my writing energy into my new book, which, when released next spring, will melt your face off with its incredibleness. (You should be happy about this, too.)

However, in a moment of weakness, our beloved Prince of Petworth has, again, asked me emerge from exile to become the Lord of Petworth to fill in while he is gone. And again, in a complimenting moment of weakness, I accepted.

PoP has left a few items behind that will pop up every day–doors, coffee spots, houses, restaurants…you know the drill. It’s kinda like when Mom leaves on a trip and puts a bunch of frozen lasagnas and left-overs in the fridge for you to eat while she’s gone. But, in truth, you have no interest in Mom’s casseroles. You plan to order pizza every night.

That pizza is me.


Well, I think you get what I mean.

Anyhow, I’ll be in and out over the coming days. If you have anything to share with me directly–or ideas for things to write about–you can reach me at eric (dot) nuzum (at) gmail (dot) com.


  • Smoove T

    I, for one, welcome our new Petworth overlord.

  • mv

    Welcome back, LoP!!

    (except you likened PoP’s door,transom,house posts to frozen lasagna!?!)

  • Eckingtonite

    I hope there will be demands of tribute. Will there be demands of tribute?

    Here are topics in case things get dull:
    -Baby strollers on metro/in bars (anything involving formerly normal People turning into Parents, really)
    -Fenty v. Grey (leaves people room to bring up Barry, which is the local version of bringing Hitler into a debate; bonus points for any posts that defend Sharon Pratt-Kelly)
    -15 year olds shooting people
    -More bars/pizza places/yoga places/dry cleaners in Bloomietown
    -A post that leaves plenty of room for blaming the victim/the police/gentrification/failing social services/too many social services/failure to move to suburbs

    If you can get all these in one post, I will be over the proverbial moon.

    • Another guy named Chris

      Don’t forget Bikes vs. Cars

      • Eckingtonite

        Cars always win in that matchup, so I left it off.

        • Another guy named Chris

          Cars THINK they win until they are stuck trying to make a left during rush hour at downtown intersection for 15 minutes….

    • LisaT

      Also, the ethics of tying your dog up outside of a business, dog parks, having a dog, dogs who poop, etc.

      • mv


  • Anon

    Oh man. More of the bolded font Lord of Petworths. I thought we got past that.

  • Orion Prime

    All Hail the Lord of Petworth.


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