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So, our final hypothetical quandary for this time with the Lord of Petworth.

Times are tough, really tough. When considering our national debt, our country is in it…deep.

We owe so much money that if we took the entire population of Indiana and funneled all their earnings into paying off the national debt, it would take over a century to pay it down to zero.

So we have to get creative…or perhaps openminded.

Let’s say that a group of Chinese investors (read: those to whom we owe all this money) came forward with an offer. It wouldn’t eliminate the debt, but would help.

These investors offer us $500 billion if we will turn over the ownership of the National Mall and all the monuments on it.

They do offer some promises:

• While they will retain the right to charge anyone to use it, the max fee would be $1 per visit.
• They would not only invest in the upkeep of the Mall and monuments, they would make significant and much needed improvements.

However, as with ever deal, there are conditions:

• They reserve the rights to commercialize the area with restaurants, gift stands (goodbye trucks lining Constitution Ave), and amenities (read: pay toilets). But that’s it–no condos or Haircuttery franchises.
• They also want to monetize image licensing. So every time we want to put the Lincoln memorial on a penny, we owe them…a penny, I guess. Or whatever. But every time someone wants to take a photo or show the Washington Memorial in a movie–we owe. In fact, just by reading this post, you’d owe them four cents.
• They will also be able to sell naming rights to the monuments (for example, “Nissan Presents The World War II Memorial.”

So there are small trade-offs, but a big pay off.

What do you think? Take the deal or leave the deal?

Oh, and in case you think it isn’t enough money (I actually struggled to think of the right amount), why don’t you say what price WOULD be worth selling.

Reader Kate wrote in, noting that with all this talk about bikes, poop in trash cans, bird nests, and outed neighbors–that we are neglecting a primary function of PoPville–talking about other peoples’ houses!

She offered up her boyfriend’s place. She says:

“Dear LoP,

My finace’s 3 BR/2 BA, two-level condo in Bloomingdale–a renovated corner Victorian on North Capitol and Seaton–just hit the market. We are both faithful PoP/LoP readers and would be tickled to death to see the place on the site. It’s been a while since the last GDoN!”

Asking price is $464,900. Info is here. Pics here. I know you folks love the Redfin listings, so here it is there.

Thoughts?

Okay, its getting a bit hot and bothery-like out there.

Of course, my mind turns to ICE CREAM!

I know the comings and goings of various frozen yogurt, ice cream, and ice establishments is a regular topic here, but I’m curious which is your favorite for a good old fashioned cone?

My personal preference is for Summer Delights in Takoma Park (kinda quirky and fun–and they make delicious ice cream). I’m also fond of Moorenko’s in Silver Spring (when the staff isn’t blaring techno music–such an odd choice for an ice cream joint). And, of course, I will never turn down a trip to Larry’s in Dupont.

What are some other favorites?

Okay, okay, okay.

When I ask for recommendation for some fine Jamaican, I’m not talking about that.

Or that either.

Here is a bit of trivia about the Lord of Petworth: I was in an exchange program in high school and lived in Jamaica for a bit.

Knowing this, you’d probably think that I would be in culinary heaven when I moved from Ohio to DC seven years ago. You may be surprised to learn that the number of times I’ve eaten Jamaican since moving here.

That number would be zero.

What? You must be thinking. Why wouldn’t you? There is Jamaican everywhere in DC.

See, that is exactly the problem. It’s kind of all overwhelming–and I have no idea what is good and what isn’t. There is just so much to pick from that I never seem to be able to figure out a starting point.

So on this last day of my reign as Lord of Petworth, I implore you, dear Popvillians, to steer me in the right direction.

What Jamaican place in town (or nearby) makes you want to stomp your foot on the ground every time you taste it?

The photo above is a house across the street from me. As you can see, a few weeks ago the dude who delivers the Post got momentarily carried away and pitched a copy up on the porch roof.

The gentleman who owns and lives in this house is in his 90s, but still gets around well…but not well enough that he would ever notice this or do anything about it or care.

The newspaper is wrapped in a plastic bag, nice and neat, and hasn’t moved an inch since the morning it was lobed up there. In other words, it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon on its own.

Now, based only on the information given to you, what is your guess for how long that newspaper will stay on that porch roof? When you offer your prediction in the comments, you must also share the circumstances under which the newspaper will be removed.

For example: “Prediction: Two years from now a large migratory bird will mistake it for a delicious salmon and swoop down, consuming the newspaper whole.”

And just to save some of you the energy spent typing out your hater nincompoopery, we (and our neighbors) help him out with stuff all the time (lawn, grocery carrying, snow removal, etc). If this were a serious issue, I would be the first of several offering to help take it down.

But this isn’t a serious issue–which is why it is fun to think of how and when it will eventually come down.

Okay, your turn. Go.

When this first came into my mailbox, I was like, “really, an online chat about trash?” But then I started to think about all the stuff I’m constantly looking up about how, when, and where to disposes of all my Lord of Petworth refuse and unwantedness, and realized this could really be helpful.

So here is the 411 on how to talk trash:

Do you know which items are to be collected with your regular trash schedule and for which you need to schedule a bulk appointment?

Are you new to the city and still not sure of your collection date?

Do people dump or place trash illegally in the alleys near your home?

Are your neighbors setting out their trash correctly?

Do you know what to do if your trash or recycling can needs to be replaced?

Are there alternatives to purchasing a DC government can?

Get answers to these questions and more by tuning into the Department of Public Works (DPW) Solid Waste Management Administration’s live, online chat Wednesday, May 25, 2011 at noon. Residents can join or follow the discussion at dpw.dc.gov/livechat once the chat session begins. To submit questions in advance, send an email to [email protected]

WHAT: Live, One-Hour Chat to discuss Trash Collection in the District

WHEN: Wednesday, May 25, 2011, 12:00-1:00 pm

WHERE: dpw.dc.gov/livechat

This will be the 13th in a series of monthly online chats with DPW Director William O. Howland, Jr., and other DPW officials. Next month’s online chat will discuss DPW’s rules and procedures for citizens’ hauling items to the Ft. Totten Transfer Station.

Good morning Popville! And welcome to the third, and final, day of this latest reign of me, the Lord of Petworth. PoP is (supposed to be) back tomorrow.

Another glorious day in the life of a fill-in blogger (read: I am sitting in my underwear in my basement…TMI, I know, but I like to keep it real).

Anyhow…

So I’d love some help figuring something out.

Someone once told me that there is a large amount of abandoned marble, columns, etc… inside Rock Creek Park. Supposedly they used to be part of some federal building that was moved, destroyed, rebuilt, or something.

It’s not quite as cool or put together as the old Capitol columns in the Arboretum, but it is supposed to be a cool place to visit, hang out, and take pictures.

Anyone have any clue what I’m talking about? If so, is it as cool to visit as I’ve heard?

So, here is another non-hypothetical hypothetical quandary. However, unlike yesterday’s post, I’m pretty sure this bird does not read this blog–so I think it is safe to discuss the bird’s fate here.

And speaking of the bird’s fate, here is today’s quandary…

The pictured bird deserves some congratulations–she is expecting. She build a nest up in the corner of our back door overhang and has been settling in quite nicely.

However, as does happen, every time we take out the garbage or let the dog out into our back yard–the bird swoops out of the nest and perches on a nearby wire and bitches us out royally. Even her mate gets in on the smack talk.

Now I’m a pretty thick-skinned guy, so their hateful tweets do not bother me (too much). Under normal circumstances, I’d say that we’d just work this out: we’ll go out that door as infrequently as possible until the young are born and off on their own.

Here is the rub: we just (before the nest building started) ordered a new custom door and frame that will replace the door right next to the nest. Not only will the door be replaced, but they are knocking out the entire structure around the door. While the overhang and the nest won’t be moved or destroyed, it will be a loud, disruptive, messy mess for a few days.

Because the door had to be custom made (thank you, Petworth builders, for putting in 27 inch doors–nearly impossible to replace easily and cheaply), it will be a few weeks until they are ready to work.

So the quandary: what do I do?

Attempt to evict them now? Wait and see what happens when the door is installed? Call some “expert” for help–if there even is such an expert.

My worry is that while there might be eggs there now (can’t really tell, but she is sitting in there 24/7 now), but when the door comes, there might be little baby birds–and disrupting the mother’s ability to be there might be disastrous.

So, what do you think I should do?