The photo above is a house across the street from me. As you can see, a few weeks ago the dude who delivers the Post got momentarily carried away and pitched a copy up on the porch roof.
The gentleman who owns and lives in this house is in his 90s, but still gets around well…but not well enough that he would ever notice this or do anything about it or care.
The newspaper is wrapped in a plastic bag, nice and neat, and hasn’t moved an inch since the morning it was lobed up there. In other words, it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon on its own.
Now, based only on the information given to you, what is your guess for how long that newspaper will stay on that porch roof? When you offer your prediction in the comments, you must also share the circumstances under which the newspaper will be removed.
For example: “Prediction: Two years from now a large migratory bird will mistake it for a delicious salmon and swoop down, consuming the newspaper whole.”
And just to save some of you the energy spent typing out your hater nincompoopery, we (and our neighbors) help him out with stuff all the time (lawn, grocery carrying, snow removal, etc). If this were a serious issue, I would be the first of several offering to help take it down.
But this isn’t a serious issue–which is why it is fun to think of how and when it will eventually come down.
Okay, your turn. Go.