Well Done! But they’ll cost ya a Pretty Penny.

by Prince Of Petworth March 9, 2017 at 9:40 am 45 Comments

new union garage
645 Maryland Avenue, NE

Awesome! Thanks to Lori for sending: “Wow new garage on Maryland Ave NE looks great”

From OPaL:

“Tucked between the rowhomes of one of DC’s most storied neighborhoods, a long-time staple of the horseless carriage set is transforming into the darling of Capital Hill. The New Union Garage features three beautiful, one level homes, perfectly situated for city life and the sophisticates who live it. Each unit is ideally sized with 2-3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, garage parking and most with an outdoor terrace. An elevator leads to the two upper-level homes; a rooftop deck offering expansive city views for the penthouse. Pet parents will appreciate Stanton Park on the next block. And Washingtonians of every ilk will covet the location – five blocks from Union Station and seven blocks from both a Whole Foods and the seat of American power, the US Capitol. For those enamored with iconic DC living, this is it.

Unit 101:: Two level home, 2 bedrooms + den, garage parking – $1,750,000

Unit 201:: Single level home, 3 bedrooms, garage parking – $1,595,000

Unit 301:: Single Level Home, 3 bedrooms, garage parking – $2,000,000”

Via OPaL

  • Bryan

    Why does the second level look like a cardboard cutout of background scenery that a high school student typically works on for their school plays?

    • Anon

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks it looks cheap. The top level reminds me of cinder block. The painted signage lacks any of the character of the original. It looks like they just had a plain banner printed with the default font at a print shop.

      • MadMax

        Yeah that banner is just amateurish, especially for over $5M in combined asking price . Gotsta go.

  • Ross

    If they couldn’t have been bothered to match the lettering on the sign more accurately, I wonder which other corners may have been cut.

    • JS

      I really hope this is a joke.

      • Craig

        Why should it be a joke? There are quite a few old-time signs in DC where people have gone to the trouble of trying to match the original with great care.

        In this case, not only did they not try to match the lettering, but they also didn’t match the size of the original sign.

        A well-done period restoration of the exterior would have added charm; this just looks tacky.

        • JS

          I mean, are we also going to get upset that the builder didn’t pave the front lawn?

          • EM

            Do it right or don’t do it at all.

          • Ross

            Um, they did pave the front lawn.

          • Anon

            And put up a parking lot, amirite?

  • Jobe

    It’s really starting to annoy me that developers/real estate agents/etc. can’t seem to spell Capitol Hill correctly. Looks like a nice place though.

    • AMDCer

      Came to say the same thing…

  • kapitolhill

    If I’m dropping that $ for that area, I’m buying that killer church belltower loft that’s a block away!

    • MadMax

      Yeah that going on the market at the same time as this has to crush this developer.

      • Bryan

        Please. Once the belltower sells, the prices for surrounding units will go for a ridiculous penny just as well.
        It’s just like in the NFL. Sometimes it pays off as a free agent to not be the first to sign and wait for others to sign to figure out the actual market.

        • MadMax

          That unit is completely unique though, whereas these really are not.

    • anon

      IS there a link to that listing or pictures?

  • Anony

    I want to sell you a $2M home but I can’t spell the neighborhood correctly, ‘Capital Hill’

  • MadMax

    Kenny’s BBQ is awful. Why on Earth, of all the places in the area, would you bother to highlight that as some sort of feature for your overpriced condo? A POTUS eating somewhere does not a good place make it.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, it baffles me that agents don’t ask for your opinion before mentioning nearby restaurants in their listings. Really weird.

    • Hill Res


      Kenny’s is just awful, and that is being kind.

      • aglets

        OMG YES. I’m almost thankful it’s so bad because I live around the corner. My friend has a good work around tho- the meat is ok, but their sauces are what really shits the bed so we ask for our meats dry and sauce it up at home

  • Anon

    Am I the only one who thinks the pricing looks awfully ambitious? All the bedrooms are tiny AF per the floor plan. This isn’t the sort of thing many people shopping at the 1.5-2m range seek for their money. My guess is that the prices drop a few hundred thousand before anything is sold.

  • That Man A

    Not a fan… at all
    esp at that price point

  • Idontgetit

    That homage to a driveway. Waiting for errant MD driver joke.

  • textdoc
    • textdoc

      I still dig it overall, though.

      • textdoc

        I should clarify that I dig:
        1) the restored garage front
        2) the fact that the pop-up portion has the same setback as the adjacent rowhouses
        I am less keen on the pop-up portion’s exterior (looks like cinderblocks?) and style of windows.

    • Anon

      It looks SO much better without the tragic banner.

      • navyard

        Wait. Did they include punctuation on the banner? ( a period)? That’s so funny! In a sad sad way

        • Anon

          I got a laugh out of the period too!

        • textdoc

          For what it’s worth… the original banner (see black-and-white photograph in the post) had a period at the end.

          • Florista

            I noticed that, too.

        • Anonymous

          I thought that was really strange too, but then I saw that they were just replicating what was on the original sign from way back. Would have been cool if they upgraded to an exclamation point, or maybe an emoji (you know, for a modern spin.)

    • MadMax

      Yeah I’m not thrilled about some of the minor details, but overall it looks infinitely better than the old, run down garage that existed here just prior to renovation.

  • PettyShabazz

    I can’t believe they wasted money on an elevator for what can’t be more than 2 stories lol silly

    • facts

      I used to think elevators in private homes were a crazy extravagance, then my mother fell, broke her hip, and has permanently limited mobility. Now I realize they are essential for people with mobility problems.

      • Anonymous

        Seems odd to describe something so rare as “essential”. I feel like building an elevator in a private home is probably the least-often-used solution by people who have mobility problems.

      • Anon

        “essential for people with mobility problems” … as are seeing-eye dogs for the blind. That doesn’t mean developers should add seeing-eye dogs as an amenity just because that’s a factual statement. Then again, there aren’t many small/boutique condos with elevator access, so perhaps there are 3 unicorns somewhere in DC who might be interested in these units at list price?

  • Notafan

    I don’t like it. I think it looks cheap and I dislike the conder block-looking upper level. I also dislike the period in the banner. Just my opinion.

  • Sass

    Agreed. Cinderblock upper looks cheap. The upper windows are completely out of keeping with the period and style of the place. The Windows should be push-up windows and not sliding windows … No way I would pay for this — if they can’t get key elements of the aesthetics right, then one has to ask one’s self what else they skimped on….

  • Contessa of Cleveland Park

    Says the blurb, “The New Union Garage features three beautiful, one level homes”…and then lists one two-level and two one-level homes. From which I infer that attention to detail isn’t this developer’s strong suit.

  • aglets

    I hate this SO MUCH. Pat’s garage was THE BEST.

    I hope there’s motoroil in their ground.


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