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Attacker Flees Stabbing on a Segway

by Prince Of Petworth August 1, 2016 at 10:45 am 13 Comments

segway

Thanks to William for passing on:

“Full Alert Text:

Stabbing at 1545 hrs in the 3300 block of Ely Place SE. Lookout for: B/M, Heavy Build, left the scene on a segway.
DO NOT TAKE ACTION CALL 911 W/ EVENT # I20160464379
Sent to 1st District (PSA 101-108) Alert DC
Sent by MPD Cad # 5279″

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Photo by PoPville flickr user Pablo Raw

  • OP Anon

    Laziest stabber ever.

  • FridayGirl

    Lol @ the URL….

  • jwetz

    12.5MPH limit with the publicly available keys.

    • Then that is one odd getaway choice!!

      • FridayGirl

        but it sounds like it worked!

        • hahaha good point!

          • Hill Denizen

            12.5 mph is still faster than most people can run, especially a big dude.

    • HaileUnlikely

      Could have ran that f*cker down no problem. He could have fled in a little red wagon being pulled by a midget at 1 mph and I still wouldn’t have, though. It’s not like I’m going to run after a big dude who had just stabbed me.

  • Shaw

    What did he look like? Is anyone sure it wasn’t an escaped three toed sloth from the zoo? That’s the only conceivable mammal that could make a faster getaway on a segway than just walking briskly….
    .
    And a second thumbs up for that URL!

    • sbc

      12.5 miles per hour is a 4:48 mile. Most folks can’t maintain that pace–and even if they can, better to save their energy until they need to ditch the segway (which was probably stolen anyway).

  • Kingman Park

    GOB made a huge mistake.

    • BusinessModel

      +100

  • anon

    I didn’t know you could balance a segway on a escalator!

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