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Halfsmoke Hiring – Opening this Month – Check out the Menu and Spectacular Renderings!

by Prince Of Petworth August 3, 2016 at 10:22 pm 50 Comments

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Halfsmoke’s website says:

“CHANGING “FAST” FOOD IN AMERICA

The most versatile and flavorful American staple is long overdue for a makeover.

HALFSMOKE is the first fast casual restaurant to upgrade how we eat sausages.

What used to be a guilty pleasure is now a gourmet treat.
OPENING IN WASHINGTON,DC
AUGUST 2016″

Check out their menu here.

Update: Well this is something – thanks to Jane for pointing out:

“Did anyone else catch this from the menu page (scroll almost all the way down): “Wine and bubbly will help us attract more female patrons and reinforce the perception of quality food.” OK, then.”

halfsmoke_screen_shot

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7th/Georgia and Florida Ave, NW

Check out some spectacular renderings after the jump.

All renderings via HALFSMOKE

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HALFSMOKE_DINING[1]

HALFSMOKE_ENTRY[1]

HALFSMOKE_LIBRARY_8bit

HALFSMOKE_PARLOR[1]

Mockup

  • Jane

    Did anyone else catch this from the menu page (scroll almost all the way down): “Wine and bubbly will help us attract more female patrons and reinforce the perception of quality food.” OK, then.

    • DF

      Lol, yeah it’s still there. Also, some interesting info about their location.
      This place seems entirely fake. It seems like some college course project (like what I did in culinary school), coming up with a website design and menu.

      • Rich

        They don’t call this sort of thing a “concept” for nothing.

    • Surely that wasn’t supposed to make it onto the website…

      • Oh god, I just read the “DNA” page. This garbage has to be catered towards investors. Thank goodness they’ll have style-conscious employees to help me re-engineer the total experience of eating a sausage!

        • U neighbor

          YES it is! Their logo is an actual dollar sign!

        • Truxton Thomas

          It looks like a B+ MBA project. Docked points for not separating their consumer and investor websites.

          • Not to mention the litany of typos…

          • on-wings-of-pastrami

            One can only hope that their cooks are more proficient than their web-designers.

        • dcd

          Yeah, not sure they wanted this to go out for mass consumer consumption – certainly not with the typos. (“lot’s of companies”? Ouch. It’s a simple rule, people, really.) On the plus side, they have the obligatory “farm to table” disclaimer. Also, “Each ingredient is laid out in front of you so you can choose the perfect combination to make the perfect mean every time.” So, just like Cava, Chipotle, Shophouse, and every other fast casual place in existence. Got it.
          .
          The target customer graphic at the bottom is hilarious , but the thing that struck me is the top graphic, where the secret to having a good time is said to be drinking, eating sausages and watching sports. I don’t disagree with that, but I am unsure about the fast casual business model that encourages people to sit for extended periods of time and watch tv. Squatting in an (ostensibly) high volume eatery is counterintuitive.
          .
          Finally, do you know what no one said, ever? “This sausage is delicious, but do you know what would make it better? Quinoa. Or cutting it up and putting it on a salad.”

          • Anon

            Really? I love sausage. I love quinoa. Think I’ll make both for dinner tonight – thanks for the suggestion.

          • dcd

            Why do you hate America, Anon?

          • “This sausage tastes great, let’s bury it in some arugula and then pour dressing all over it!”

        • marybindc

          Notice the little “newspapers” on the Location tab that puts the website as halfsmokeinvestors.com

    • Formerly ParkViewRes

      LOL, that is so bad. I have to hope it was accidentally left on there, but still.

    • KM

      Nothing better than a good sausagefest to attract female patrons.

      • anon

        lol, bravo

        • SausageMale

          Except they didn’t imply that. They’re saying the sauseagefest attracts male patrons. They need bubbly and wine for females. And for what it’s worth, I’m a male and I don’t mind a good sausagefest. Step into 2016, people!

    • half smoked

      “Perception is reality” or maybe not…

  • That menu and those renderings seem like two totally different places… Also who the hell other than Donald Trump would eat a hot dog from a bowl? Just because seemingly every other “fast casual” has rice, salad, etc options doesn’t mean you need to copy that.

    • Barry

      A couple things. One I love eating cut up sausage mixed with a bunch of other stuff out of a bowl. I make this all the time, its great.

      Second. There is almost no chance that the restaurant portrayed on the website will be what is executed at this spot. The Pictures of the interior and the outdoor spaces look amazing. Based on the production value of website though, I will be shocked if the actual interior looks better than a Burger King. I wouldn’t be surprised if those renderings were just lifted from some other project they found on the internet. The outdoor space pictured doesn’t even exist in real life.

      Based on the website, I will be surprised if this place even opens. The thing that tipped it for me. They refer to tater tots and potato tots. I think the whole concept was generated by some Nigerian AI built from the stolen facebook posting of Brooklyn Hipsters.

      All that being said, I love the concept. And I can’t wait to be disappointed.

  • Agent

    DC City Smokehouse (new location), Meat & Foods, and Ben’s Chili Bowl all within half a mile. Best of luck to you. All three likely pay significantly lower rent.

    • Anon

      Unless DCity makes some serious changes when they move, they are done. After they “parted ways” with the OG chef, their food quality took a STEEP nosedive. I live around the corner and I stopped going a long time ago, which is really unfortunate because I used to eat there 3x/week.

      • Agent

        Where did the chef go?

      • siz

        uggghhhhh, word. SO disappointing. seriously the biggest drop-off in quality i can remember, especially about a place i loved so much when it opened. thank god we still got meats & foods.

  • P. Lecheval

    This does not seem real.

  • halfsmoke

    Done in 6 months.
    Then can I have my POP screen name back?
    Also, your logo is ripped from matchbox.

  • Truxton Thomas

    Ah, that’s too bad. Is everything going to be like this from now on?

  • Expat

    Throwing myself under the bus here, but I like this idea! Love me some sausage. However… $4 Delirium Tremens?? Either I’ve died and gone to heaven, or the other commenters are correct.

    • brookland_rez

      The menu seems reasonably priced for DC. $4 craft beers sounds like a winner to me.

    • eggs

      $4 Chimay too?! hahahahahahahaaaa ok.

      • Where are you seeing beers for $4? The only ones I see listed are all $7.

        • Ah nevermind, I see it at the top. Odd they have different beers in different sections…

          • eggs

            Yeah I noticed that too after posting – they don’t list the same beers at all.

          • on-wings-of-pastrami

            Is that what it is? If so, you’ll find me in the $4 Delirium Tremens section

  • Anon. no. 5

    Oh man, that website content is mind-numbing! I love the “circle of life” of eat sausages –> get drunk –> watch sports –> eat more sausages…

    • Anon

      To be fair, I don’t think they’re far off the mark given their target demographic. Now, whether there are enough bros around to sustain the outside of late-night drunk food, I don’t know.

  • FemalePatron

    I am so excited to clumsily walk down the street to Halfsmoke for some wine and bubbly, to go with my hot dog dinner before I eat my pint of Ben and Jerrys, curled-up on the couch while watching Netflix. ACK!!!!

    • lolz

      + 1

    • Derek

      You ma’am have won the Internet for today

  • samanda_bynes

    “what used to be a guilty pleasure is now gourmet” is an amazing metaphor for DC’s development.

  • on-wings-of-pastrami

    There are no two finer words in the English Language than “encased meats,” my friend. -Hot Doug

  • wdc

    The renderings of the dining room look EXACTLY like this “family restaurant” in my hometown, decor unchanged since the Chordettes topped the charts. The kind of place where you could get turkey on white bread smothered in gravy. Or chicken friend steak with white bread smothered in gravy. Or meatloaf and mashed potatoes smothered in gravy. Followed by pie, smothered in cool whip, or ice cream for an extra 25 cents. And unlimited coffee. And waitresses who went to high school with your parents. You know the place.

  • hiphop anonymous

    The Values and DNA tabs seem like a slide deck from of those college group projects for a hypothetical restaurant opening in BUS 101.

  • cringe

    From their Careers tab: “The employees at HALFSMOKE will be well compensated so that they feel appreciated and relieved from many of the burdens of struggling to make ends meet.”

  • Anonymous

    This is the type of place that will have an uni slathered hotsmoke on their menu.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think I can post the link but the Washington Business Journal did an article on Halfsmoke two months ago, “Upstart restaurateur looks to take on Ben’s Chili Bowl with HalfSmoke”

    If the owner can make this place solid it will be great for that corner and it sounds like he is actually from the area. It looks like his background is banking / real estate not hospitality.

    “Andre McCain, the 29-year-old behind HalfSmoke, the Shaw restaurant looking to upgrade….
    He also likes the idea of being part of the growth in Shaw, where he worked at a location of Up Against the Wall when he was in high school. He hopes HalfSmoke can be for everyone, new and old residents alike.”

    I wish him much luck.

  • marybindc

    Apparently the clientele of Halfsmoke is very white.

  • Q

    Someone’s reading this thread. The “wine is for girlz” bit is gone. Now if they would just clean up the rest of that nonsense, like the parts where they say they’re really good at this…

  • James

    How did you all forget to mention the free seasonal puppy chow?!?!

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