55 Comment

  • Hmmm….maybe the car broke down or parking brake was not applied????

  • my bet is they towed this car a few feet to jump another that was parked up against it… hard to believe they didn’t have long enough jumper cables, but it’s my bet.

  • I don’t understand anything about this. The parking job makes no sense obviously. But what about the note makes it “a hoot”? And why would the driver go to the security office rather than just get in the car and drive away? Is the car disabled somehow?

    • I like jokes. My favorite thing about jokes is to explain them in great detail to thus remove all humor from them. To me, the drawn out explanation can sometimes be even funnier then the joke itself and sometimes its just funny to give long explanations. In any case, this is a hoot because the driver did not actually park in a legitimate parking space. He seemed to believe that the driving aisle is a reasonable place to park (what?! is this not a reasonable place to park?). If he is so scatterbrained as to believe that the road is where you park, he may very well believe that the security office in the P1 lobby is actually the entrance to the Target store. Thus, dull-witted Maryland driver enters security office looking for the Target store only to give himself away to security as the owner of the illegally parked car and subjecting himself to ridicule and embarrassment from those security officers in their office. They may say something to him like “You do realize that was the driving aisle and not actually a parking spot, right” or “Go back to Maryland where they have surface parking lots on Rockville Pike!” In any case, this is a hoot.

      • Nice try, but not only does this not explain how *the note* is a hoot (as OP alleged), but it seems you’ve actually misread the note. In order to get to the “humor” here you had to make some pretty unlikely assumptions, which means that it’s not actually that funny. I’m pretty sure your little story there bears almost no resemblance to what actually happened. Hope you had yourself a nice chuckle at least.

        • Haha – that is typical of the reaction I’m used to receiving when I go on and on explaining jokes. I did give myself a nice chuckle at least, so thanks for checking. While I don’t think the driver actually went to the security office, I think my interpretation is that the security guard who posted this note did think “If this driver is dim-witted enough to think this is a reasonable place to park, then he is dim-witted enough to think the security office is the how to go the Target store.” In any case, I also think obsessing over the contemplation and thought-process about why security officer posted such a note on drivers car is akin to contemplating why my dim-witted cousin spends hours upon hours crushing beatles.

          • You still didn’t read that note right, and your “interpretation” is almost certainly not close to what really happened.

          • If you find yourself repeatedly having to explain your jokes, that might be a sign that they’re not very good jokes.

      • My reading of the note is as follows:
        Come to the security office.
        The security office is located in the P1 lobby.
        More specifically, its location is near the elevator. Which elevator? The same one you would take if you wanted to go to target.
        I don’t see anything that’s a hoot about that.

        • Correct, thank you for explaining this for JD, who isn’t much more clever than his dim-witted cousin apparently.

          • While not as likely, it’s equally possible, due to missing grammer/punctation, that the officer really meant “come to the security office (on P1 lobby by elevator) to go to the Target store than “come to security office (it’s on PA lobby by elevator to go to target store)” but your missing the point – the question I was attempting to answer is why the OP found the sign a hoot and not what does the sign mean. Only my interpretation could possibly explain the OP reason for finding the sign funny.

            In any case, I demand a trial by combat for your insensitivities towards my dim-witted cousin who crushes beatles.

        • Yeah, agree with anon 4:23 that this is the obvious obvious meaning of the note. It’s not a convoluted joke about how if you’re too dumb to park maybe you’re also dumb enough to think there’s a Target inside the security office.

          On the p1 lobby is an elevator to go to the Target. The security office is next to that.

      • Omg +1 for this and +1000 for trolling the confused Marylander

  • I don’t get it. Any of it.

  • yeah, I’m not sure what makes the note a “hoot” but I do know that MD drivers are pretty bad and so is that park job. Unless the car is malfunctioning then this would be a HUGE coincidence.

  • I never understand the whole thing about Maryland drivers being bad. People often move into and out of states, so it is quite possible that drivers with Maryland license plates did not actually learn to drive in Maryland. I drive often and notice a lot of bad drivers with all sorts of different license plates. I do not notice a trend except that most bad drivers are from Maryland, Virginia, or DC and that is only because I am driving in this geographic area. It is just intellectual laziness to say that bad drivers (in this case, parkers) are from Maryland.

    • justinbc

      +1, I’ve said this very thing since I moved here, and constantly heard the “Virginia drivers” & “MD drivers” spiel. I’m a “North Carolina driver”, based on my learning, although you would never know it based on whatever car I happen to be operating when I piss you off on the road.

      • brookland_rez

        True, but I think people tend to drive based on how laws are enforced. VA is a lot more strict with their enforcement, with the reckless driving laws and all. So over time a driver adjusts to their state’s laws. Personally, I’ve noticed more VA drivers drive closer to the speed limits (since that’s what they’re used to in VA), and MD drivers tend to drive more aggressively.

    • New Jersey drivers are the worst.

    • People complain about MD drivers because DC folks see more Maryland cars on all the roads and side streets coming into/out of the city. The VA drivers are mostly on the freeways, bridges and in/out downtown parking garages. When we do see a VA driver in the neighborhoods, they are just as bad as MD drivers. The drivers that I think are the craziest (I’ve been driving in DC for 30 yrs) are taxis, Car-to-Go and ZipCar drivers. Slow, lost, talking on cell phones, and don’t use the turn signals.

      • I agree with you, but to be fair to Car2Go drivers, those things are like driving golf carts. I have my own car, but also have a Car2Go membership and they take a second to get going when you’re stopped at a light or stop sign (but yeah, if they’re not signaling or talking on their phone, they’re dip sh*ts).

    • No, I thought it was a rumor and then I moved here. It’s even WORSE than everyone had made it out to be. Boston, New York, and New Jersey drivers get a reputation as “bad drivers,” but it’s really more a case of aggressive driving. Yet generally they all seem to be in control and competent and aware of their surroundings.

      With Maryland drivers, however…I have never seen such incompetence or obliviousness in my life. To wit:
      – 18-point attempts at parallel parking
      – rolling through stop signs
      – just straight-up ignoring red lights (particularly later at night)
      – speeding on residential streets
      – speeding on any streets
      – not even slowing down before turning right, almost into pedestrians
      – honking at anyone who hesitates at a just-turned-green light, even for a microsecond
      – tailgating on slow-moving urban streets
      – driving the wrong way down a one-way street for multiple blocks
      – blocking a bus stop
      – blocking a bike lane

      And those are the ones that spring to mind that I can remember a Maryland plate from. I don’t know how to explain it – is it the car-dependence born of stroads? The general lack of pedestrian traffic in MD that seems to surprise them so much when they’re in DC? Just being really happy about living in Maryland so much that they’re oblivious to things happening around them in the big city?

      • Selective viewing. I’ve seen the same from DC and VA drivers.

        • I have too, but not on as regular a basis. It may just be a difference in volume of traffic, but the ratio of MD:DC:VA plates I see committing these atrocities is 2:1:1.

      • I wonder which part of MD people conjure when they make such statements…

        • Yeah. I don’t think they’re talking about white people from Bethesda.

          • I have no idea where they’re from. And I’m usually not even looking at the drivers, I’m looking at the license plates. I’ve seen a whole lot of white idiots in BMWs and whatnot doing exactly what I’ve said above.

          • Actually, they probably are (among others). See my post below.

        • If you’re insinuating “black people from PG”, I think you are actually wrong here. All the folks flying up and down North Cap, New Hampshire Ave, Kansas Ave, Georgia Ave, 16th Street, Connecticut Ave, and Wisconsin Ave (to name a few) would not fall into the general group of “black people from PG”.

      • Other than 18-point parking and driving multiple blocks the wrong way down a one-way street, most of that list sounds to me like aggressive driving, not incompetent driving per se. And blocking bus stops and bike lanes sounds like aggressive/thoughtless parking.

      • not using blinkers!

      • My favorite; honking because you won’t turn left at A red light which is legal from two one way streets in MD.

      • As someone who grew up driving in the Northeast, I agree with you. Northeast drivers are aggressive for sure. They’re going to cut you off and speed away. Maryland drivers are going to cut you off and apply the breaks. They’re going to “drift” in front of you without signaling. They’re going to slam on the breaks to make a left turn in front of you without signaling. When you’re walking in a crosswalk at a stop sign they’re going to drive at you because they can’t wait 10 seconds for you to cross. I can list a million other things. I have never seen as consistently bad behavior from any other state in my entire driving experience. Sure I’ve seen some VA and DC people do stupid things, but it’s consistent with a MD plate.

    • bfinpetworth

      I think this stems from the bad behavior of MANY MANY Maryland drivers on a daily basis as they cut through our DC neighborhoods on their way to and from downtown during rush hours. They use residential streets to avoid roads such as Georgia or New Hampshire Ave’s. They speed, they don’t stop at stop signs, they act furious if they have to wait for a mother walking her kid to school at a stop sign intersection, they nearly (or do) kill our dogs by not even slowing down at intersections, and they generally act as though the roads of DC are there only for their convenient movement within our city. They act as though the residents of those neighborhoods are nothing but a nuisance to their need to get to work faster. I don’t hear as many complaints about VA drivers because they generally get into and out of the city by the limited major thoroughfares due to the Potomac River.

      • Precisely. I live on a small one way street that MD drivers often use as a cut-through. They are the absolute worst. I never see VA cars in the morning, but I’m guessing that if my street were in their path I’d feel the same way about VA drivers as I do about MD drivers. It’s probably just a suburban commuter thing, rather than a VA or MD thing. I once was in a car with a recent TX transplant and when she nearly killed a pedestrian in a crosswalk she insisted that cars had the right of way.

      • Exactly. There’s a lack of north-south highways that run from MD into core DC. The streets are their highways and that’s how they treat them.

    • Look, it’s like the “St. Louis stop.” Every city wants to think they originated the “slow-down-to-barely-a-crawl-then-roll-through-the-stop-sign-without-really-making-a-complete-stop thing.” But everyone does it everywhere.

  • Come, on, you Washingtonians, with all of your book-learning! Parking is hard, and and driving is hard! – A proud Maryland driver, who drives into Washington Dc, six days a week.

  • As a cyclist, I’ve feared for my life around many MD drivers. They have this sense of entitlement that no one else from the DMV has when it comes to driving. Stuck behind a bike? Well I’ll just charge into oncoming traffic or pass him with 0.5 ft to spare! No available parking? Well that’s what the bike lanes and sidewalks are for, obviously! Anyone who’s either too PC or afraid to admit the problem MD drivers have with driving in the city clearly needs to ride the mean streets of DC for a day… then we’ll talk!

  • My first reaction – was this photo taken on a Sunday in the District?

    RE: Why is it relevant the car is from Maryland? Because in our tristate area… according to real data, MD has the worst drivers in the area. #18 in the nation, with VA and DC occupying #42, #44. Congrats Maryland, you earned the reputation.


    So the next time you struggle with outrage after witnessing Maryland plates pulling a last-minute left from the right hand lane, you’ll know you weren’t engaging in regional ‘profiling’.

    • I KNEW IT!
      For years now whenever my wife and I see a driver pulling a particularly boneheaded move, we look at each other and say “must be from Maryland.” We drive up and down the East Coast a few times a year and it’s proven to be true way too often for it to be just a myth. We each learned to drive in different areas of the country and have very different driving styles, but we agree on that one thing.

  • Have lived in md, va, and several neighborhoods in dc. Am a multimodal transportation enthusiast. Systematic research suggests bad drivers come from everywhere. Those having VA plates are most oblivious, MD plates are most selfishly aggressive, and DC plates act with a certain erraticness born of frustration when traffic patterns stray from normal and expected. Best places to observe these phenomena are where residential and commercial zones meet, commuting shifts at 16th and Corcoran NW, 1st and K NE, S Capitol and M, and K street between Washington Circle and the Roosevelt Bridge ramp. Just watch how drivers act toward pedestrians in crosswalks.

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