Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user cdefoe

You can talk about whatever is on your mind โ€“ quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct peopleโ€™s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

103 Comment

  • Rave: Parents and favorite cousin coming up to see rehabbing cousin out in horse country.
    Rant: Trying to figure out whether to bring the new girl to the family dinner with my parents and kids on Saturday night. Too odd/painful for them? Too awkward for her?
    Question: How did I get to this point this quick? What the heck was I thinking?
    Other question: Where can you get a pair of stainless starter earrings in this town?

    • Most piercing / tattoo places have stainless as well as titanium earrings. I don’t have a specific piercing place to recommend though.

    • How new is new and when’s the last time you brought a different new or old girl to dinner with them?

      • The last woman I brought to dinner was my wife, who passed away about a year ago. So, as shocked (and guilt-ridden, at a couple of levels) to find myself seriously involved this quickly, it’s likely to be even more jarring, at this point, to my parents and daughter.

        • Given what you just said, I would probably hold off inviting her over to family dinner right now.

        • I obviously don’t know your family (their temperments, feelings about you and your late wife, how often you get to see them, etc.) but I wonder if it might be better to use the dinner to tell them about the new lady and ask if they’d like to meet her in the future. It wouldn’t have to be the whole dinner’s worth of conversation.

        • Emmaleigh504

          I read some where that people who are happily married and lose their spouse find a new partner faster than people who were unhappily married. (I wish I could remember where I read that article, but I read it in the 90s and my memory isn’t very good.) Don’t feel guilty, it just means you probably had a happy marriage.

          • It was very happy. It would have been 33 years since our first date last week.

          • Emmaleigh504

            So stop being guilty! (Easier said than done, I know.) Just enjoy life and your new relationship which you probably wouldn’t have if your marriage had not been so happy! Happiness breeds happiness! Now, how to deal with the rest of your family, I got nothing, sorry ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Is there a chance for an – other than dinner – (less portentous) meeting during the visit? Brunch, an activity etc? Your family might enjoy a just-family dinner anyway, regardless of how serious the new relationship is.

          • I think this is a good idea. Maybe we can all meet at the the patient’s “country home” for something low-key and then then cousins and I can can break off for a young people’s dinner the night before.

          • You should definitely not introduce her in a setting like this. It should be at a time limited event, on turf familiar to her, and, if possible, you should introduce her to separate family members at different times. Invite your parents and her to dinner, first, for example. Remember you’re introducing her, not showing off a prize. Of course, everyone wants you to be happy.

            My brother just remarried after his wife passed, and since he made no effort to introduce us all in advance or let us know he was getting married, we all felt we didn’t matter to him. Hurtful, especially after we put effort into helping him grieve, etc…

          • She’s been a family friend for literally decades, so it’s more the shift in status and the speed with which it occurred that might be jarring.
            I hope you’re not to hard on your brother. There’s no manual for this sort of thing, so people make mistakes.

            Maybe the Victorians had a point.

          • But also don’t forget the feelings of the woman involved. If she’s a family friend then she understands the backstory and probably the various people and their feelings. But it’s worth talking to her, too, to explain why you might not invite her to a family gathering that she might otherwise expect to be at or be hurt not to be included in.
            Bottom line, communicating with people prevents everyone from making (usually incorrect) assumptions about what everyone else is thinking and feeling. All of the stories people are telling here about awkward family introductions boil down to people not communicating.

        • As someone who lost a parent, my advice is to ease them into it slowly. My mother handled all of it in about the worst way possible and I still harbor resentment about it even though she has now passed too. My situation was different because my sister and I were kids but we would have been okay with her dating it if we had just been given some time to process and deal with it.

          I am sure your kids want you to be happy and, eventually, having her at big family dinners will be no big deal. I would just caution against moving too fast with the transition.

    • My 2 cents from my own observations–like one of the other commenters mentioned, I think it’s very dependent on your parents’ and daughter’s feelings about the situation, and not that your parents feelings are unimportant, but I would probably use your daughter’s comfort level and readiness as the main barometer. My aunt passed away relatively young after a very long and debilitating illness, and while no one begrudged my uncle’s desire for some companionship after dealing with my aunt’s difficult and isolating health situation, he kind of took on an “I deserve to be happy after all this suffering” stance to justify his jumping back into dating again; his then-new girlfriend/now second wife (who has a brash personality in general) backed him up with an attitude like “the kids are grown; their father’s dating life is none of their business, and everybody needs to get over their hangups about him dating again.” And though my cousins *were* adults (early 20s at the time), it was still very painful for them to see what they perceived as another woman moving swiftly to “replace” their mother. It was just bad all around (much longer and more dysfunctional story than I’ve summarized here), and those bitter feelings have never 100% gone away, even though my uncle and his second wife have been married for a number of years by now. So I would say one of the best things a widowed and newly-dating parent can do is just to acknolwedge and validate that their new relationship might be very emotional from the child’s perspective, and kind of follow the kid’s readiness cues for introducing the new partner into the family. Fortunately, by the fact that you’re asking the question in the first place, it sounds like you’re attuned to these issues anyway. Good luck to you.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I am so happy my family talks about death and their wishes so we know what to do. If my mom dies first, she wants my dad to date/remarry so he will be happy, but my sister and I are to leave the funeral in a U-Haul truck so “that hussy” doesn’t get any of my mother’s jewelry or furniture. Mom also wants a giant tombstone (no plastic frogs). She’s got pictures of what she wants. If dad dies first, he wants to be thrown in a ditch. He also wants my mother to date/remarry and be happy. They are both organ donors etc etc. It’s important to talk about these things.

        • this is awesome- your parents have great senses of humor!
          my grandmother always asked for someone to pinch her toe REALLY hard before they cremated her to make sure she was really dead.

          • Emmaleigh504

            The U-Haul truck idea actually came from my grandmother. She had very specific instructions for items my grandfather could keep (the white dishes, the brown towels, I think he was allowed a mattress, but not a bed). I am now the proud owner of the white dishes ๐Ÿ™‚

        • My wife actually suggested a couple of friends that I might turn to for, ahem, “comfort” after the funeral. She was truly and delightfully unique. (From what I remember, which is very little, I did not act on her suggestion)

          The new woman (officially “M”) is very sensitive to family things and — quite reasonably — still nervous about the relationship. So we’re walking a line between reassuring M that she’s not just a transition figure, and taking it slow with the family, especially my daughter.

  • rantish: 2 baby showers this weekend. mom advice. moms one-upping each other. UGH.
    rave-ish: very happy for my friends and excited to meet their new little ones.
    raves: the weather. brunch with bro & SIL. park runs. doggies. HH tonight.

  • Rave: National Book Festival was great
    Rant: The downpour that hit at 4:15pm while I was in line for a book signing was not so great
    Rant: Online dating… I’ve gone through a dozen first dates now that have been absolutely flat. I am guessing at this point, it’s me, not her.

    • no its not necessairly you, keep trying shes out there

    • that’s online dating. you go on a million first dates. it’s not you, it’s everyone. good luck! ps- i met my spouse online ๐Ÿ™‚

    • A little introspection never hurt anyone. Don’t quote me on that. But no, having several online dates not work out does not make you defective. Use the information to your advantage and try to refine what you’re looking for.

    • Eh, I’ve tried online dating for almost a year and a half and gone on probably about two dozen dates. A lot of the people I met were nice, just no chemistry, or it wasn’t mutual. I’ve just started seeing someone recently who seems promising though. It can just take a while. It can definitely get frustrating though, I had my fair share of moments where i felt the same. =/

      • OP here… I would say I’m not frustrated but rather have become very apathetic to the whole process. I still go on these dates, but I’m never excited by them and I always have plans for afterwards. That said, I do show genuine interest, am very engaging in conversation and generally involved in the date. But yes, they’ve all been very flat, either one of us is not feeling it or it’s mutual. But this ritual seems necessary in the modern age. It’s not tiresome but it has become pedantic.

  • GiantSquid

    Revel: Baseball game last night. Small crowd but a lotta heart and enthusiasm. Great to see the Nats win.
    Rant: Seasonal allergies. Seem to be getting worse each year. Feels like a facehugger is trying to exit my head.
    Revel: Back is getting better with each day.

  • Rave: The H St festival is, in my opinion, the best in the city. I ate very well. Bought a nice t-shirt. Enjoyed some local music. Loved it.

  • Rave1: Really enjoyed the H street festival this year. Plenty of live music options and pretty well run.
    Rave2: Got to spend my Saturday with the sweetest girl, shame she lives so far away (2 hours)

    Rant1: To the person that flaked out on me Sunday night. You don’t have to lie about an injury and then when I offer to help out (because I knew you were lying), you just went silent. Sheesh. If you don’t want to hang out then fine, just say so. But don’t have me schedule my Sunday evening around a non-existent date.

  • Rant: Got to the H Street Festival just as it started pouring (still fun, but it seemed a lot of the performances and contests had to be cancelled).
    Rave: One small can of pumpkin puree yielded pumpkin spice macarons, pumpkin chocolate chip bundt cake, and two bowls of pumpkin oatmeal!

  • Rave: I had an awesome Sunday with very dear friends to celebrate my upcoming wedding. Yet another reminder of how well loved I am. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed and humbled by the outpouring of good will.
    Rave: Five days until we tie the proverbial knot. I’m trying really hard to live in the present moment and just soak it all up and enjoy it.
    Rave: I see my best friend in four days. Can. Not. Wait.
    Rant: The weather is doing a number on my sinuses. Major headache today.

  • Rant: Two people on the Metro this morning sitting in seats on opposite sides of the isle, bags next to them, shouting to each other in an otherwise completely silent train at 7:30 this morning. They were eliciting withering looks from everyone around them but were either oblivious or didn’t care.

    • This is the strangest behavior to me. I see it on the bus a lot too. Even stranger when all the other seats around them eventually fill up and these two are still sitting on opposite sides yelling back and forth at each other.

  • gotryit

    Rant: someone tried to break into my house
    Rant^2: my security cameras weren’t running at that time
    Rant^3: the jerk ripped down one security camera
    Rave: he didn’t get in
    Rave^2: my neighbor’s awesome security cameras did catch him
    Rave^3: new vandal-proof camera will be very difficult for a *#$% to damage
    Rant: detectives around here are slow / or don’t really care

    • Burglary is the WORST in terms of MPD reaction in this city.

      • +1 The people that showed up for my burglary were more interested in harassing my cats than investigating anything. Then they decided it would be fun to accuse us of having drugs in the house, saying it was our fault we got burglarized and that they should be putting US in jail. I wish I hadn’t reported the burglary at all!

        • What?? Is this for real? If so, this is insane? Can you report this to someone? I mean what evidence did they have to make the accusations? DId you have a bong lying around or something? insantity.

          • We had a hookah and they were trying to claim the tobacco ash was marijuana residue. I believe they saw my predominately black neighborhood and black roommate and assumed we were up to no good. I was too traumatized at the time to report it to anyone but I wish I had!

        • You should DEFINITELY report this – it’s not too late and this kind of behavior on the part of the police is absolutely unacceptable. And it will continue unless they are called on it. Please report it!

  • Rave: Beautiful weekend on the Jersey shore celebrating SIL’s birthday and her son’s christening. Also the 9th anniversary of husband and SIL’s mother passing (kind of ruins your birthday for life, really).
    Rant? Driving around the Jersey shore, a year after Sandy. Shocking to look up the block to the beach and see streets missing the first 5-6 houses on both sides, or frankly all the houses and the asphalt. Understand most of the ones still standing in Ortley Beach need to come down too. Very sad, and then last week’s fire on top of it.
    Rave: adorable niece and nephew and lots of snuggles.
    Rave: the dog stayed with friends for the weekend and loved it. But rested her head on my foot while I was getting ready this morning. Nice to feel loved and missed.

  • Rant: got bit by a dog walking home from the H Street Festival and the owner decided to blame me for walking on the sidewalk. Called the police and animal control and they basically did nothing, as I saw the same mastiff unleashed in Lincoln Park the next day. If you see a large blueish colored mastiff in Lincoln Park, please be very careful

    • Sounds like the mastiff owner needs to be taught a leson.

      • What does that mean? Get someone else’s dog to bite them?
        Thanks for the warning, Anon at 10:56. Now that the weather’s so nice I’ m taking my dogs to Lincoln more often and I’ll keep an eye out for that dog.

        • It means that the day after the dog bites a person walking past it, it’s running off-leash in the park. This owner should have thought, “the lesson here is that my dog bites people, I should keep it controlled”. That lesson was not learned and therefore needs to be taught by whatever lawful means available.

    • That’s awful. Was it a bad bight? Were you petting the dog or did he bite you as you were passing? I own a very anxious large dog who I take great care not to expose to large crowds (like street festivals) for this very reason. It makes me so mad when owners try to force a scared or anxious dog to be in a situation they can’t handle. Then things like this happen! Sorry it happened, and what a jerk for trying to blame you ๐Ÿ™

      • It sounds like the dog wasn’t at the festival at all.

      • Walking home, so not at the festival. I was just trying to walk by the dog and it didn’t take to well to that, and it attacked me. It was on one of those big expandable leashes. The bite is sore, but all in all it could have been worse, it could have been my face or something. I just learned that when a dog bites it is placed under quarantine, which is basically house arrest, well this guy is not abiding by it, so hopefully they come out again. I just really hope that this dog doesn’t attack a small kid or another dog

        • How can a dog be placed under house arrest? Doesn’t it need walks to relieve itself?

        • Oh man, that’s scary. I HATE flexi-leashes. I really think they should be illegal- especially in a city. Glad it wasn’t more serious…

          • Flexi-leashes are actually illegal to use in public, per DC animal control code.

            “900.3 No person owning, keeping, or having custody of a dog in the District shall permit the dog to be on any public space in the District, other than a dog park established by section 9a of the Animal Control Act of 1979, passed on 2nd reading on September 20, 2005 (Enrolled version of Bill 16-28), unless the dog is firmly secured by a substantial leash. The leash shall be held by a person capable of managing the dog.

            900.4 The length of the leash required under ยง 900.3 shall not exceed four feet (4 ft.).”

          • Well, that’s good to know. Too bad it’s clearly not enforced. I see people with flexi-leashes or even off-leash dogs all the time and no one seems to care. I guess I’m extra sensitive to such things since I have a dog who would have a meltdown if confronted with an out of control off-leash or flexi-leashed dog.

          • As someone with a well trained dog, I think the flexi-leashes are awful – and most trainers say the same thing.

            My brother knew a woman who walked her dog on a flexi-leash and she would walk along reading a book, paying no attention. One day she’s walking, oblivious that the dog is out in the road, and it gets flattened by a passing car (it was a small dog). Some dog owners are just stupid.

          • I think flexi-leashes are the devil since it gives a false impression of having your dog under control. While the dog can’t get any further away, if the leash is out to 15′ or 20′ that’s still a lot of leeway for the dog to get crazy before the owners can get to the collar. Plus these leashes can often be seen fully extended across sidewalks so that other pedstrians have to step over them to avoid tripping.

  • Rave – Had such a restorative weekend. A rainy day for staying at home to clean and bake, and a sunny day for enjoying brunch on the patio and relaxing in the park.

    Rant – Rent increases. I could move to a cheaper place, but after moving 7 times over the past 6 years, I just don’t have energy. On the plus side, this will be the first time in 6 years that I’m not moving!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Mother’s birthday is coming up and I have no idea what to get her.
    Rave: My mother is still alive and kicking.
    Rant: Should hurts again, can I just remove it?
    Rave: Tried a new recipe that I got from an internet ad, Johnsonville braised sausage stew, and it is delicious!!

    • For my mother’s 50th bday I reached out to 50 friends and family and did a book of “50 reasons we love mom”. She loved it. My sister always says, don’t wait until my funeral to tell me why you love me!

    • Have you narrowed it down? Does your Mom like tangible gifts — or experiences? Things that mirror what she already likes or has (like favorite perfume) or things that are new to her? Is she a gift certificate Mom — or a “I put a lot of thought and feeling into this” Mom? Some of the best gifts I’ve given to my Mom have been to take on things so that she wouldn’t have to do them herself (like a certificate stating that I would clean out and organize her closet); gifts of things that she considered extravagant that I did not; and gifts that showed that I had been paying attention ( like going to another state to purchase inexpensive but beautiful hat pins that she couldn’t find here.)

      Also, I don’t know your Mom, but I’m SURE that she would like you to keep your shoulder. Moms are like that! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Emmaleigh504

        She likes things like dishes and jewelry. Jewelry is out unless I can find an amazing deal and I can’t remember what dishes she needs (she’s a collector). Last year I got her a coat b/c she didn’t have a nice one (lives in New Orleans, doesn’t need one except maybe once a year). She really liked that because she realized I do pay attention when she talks. She would rather I not spend a bunch of money, but yet her birthday is a BFD, so I”m sort of at a loss. She also works in a library so books/movies are out. She likes tiny things, she has this shelf thing with tiny openings to display tiny things, and I have a tiny box that would be awesome to put something in, but I just don’t know what, maybe a foot…hmm.

        • Emmaleigh504

          To clarify, the shelf with the tiny things already has a head from a broken figurine and a hand from another broken figurine, so a foot would fit right in. Yes we are an interesting family.

          • LOL! I was about to suggest maybe a charm or two from Tiffany’s (jewelry, not TOO much money, the joy of anticipation when you pull the satin ribbon from the blue box……) — until I read your clarification. Maybe they have a teeny tiny sterling silver foot….. I bet they might have a wishbone though!

          • Did you know that Tiffany’s has a rhino charm?

          • Emmaleigh504

            WHAT?! I rhino charm??? It will go with my MIgnon Faget rhino pendant! Off to Tiffany’s!

          • Emmaleigh504

            It’s sooo cute! It looks like a black rhino and now I must have it for my rhino collection ๐Ÿ™‚ Blithe, you are my favorite person!

      • Emmaleigh504

        Thank you so much for this reply it got my brain working and now I have ideas!

      • A few years ago I started giving charitable donations on my parents’ birthdays. I know that doesn’t work for every family/recipient, but it really has solved the they-have-everything-they-need-what-can-Ipossible-get-them problem for us. I make sure to choose charities that suit their interests, not mine, and sometimes combine it with a matching token gift (box of note cards from the botanical garden the gift went to, that sort of thing).

        • Emmaleigh504

          I do that for my grandpa since he’s richer than me and has everything he wants or the ability to buy it. He’s into nature conservation so I adopt animals in his name, usually a rhino named Bina (you can do the same at the International Rhino Foundation). She’s a Sumatran rhino. When my darling gran was in the hospital dying of Alzheimer he put a picture of Bina on Darling Gran’s bulletin board. I know he didn’t do it for me, but it made my shriveled heart grow.

  • Rave – Had such a restorative weekend. A rainy day for staying at home to clean and bake, and a sunny day for enjoying brunch on the patio and relaxing in the park.

    Rant – Rent increases. I could move to a cheaper place, but after moving 7 times over the past 6 years, I just don’t have energy. On the plus side, this will be the first time in 6 years that I’m not moving!

  • Rant: Government Shutdown. These guys in the Capitol are straight up A-Holes. They play these games that only hurt tax payers while they don’t deal with any direct consequences themselves. I can’t believe people vote for these guys.

    Rant: My Office is cold

  • Rant: Rain at virgin fest / Redskins

    Rave: Got to see a little bit of every band i wanted to at virgin fest, but it was rediculous out there with the constant rain.

    So i was the one who asked that girl out via facebook a few weeks back – just to update we went on that first date, i went to a party at her house, we are seeing eachother again tonight. I am pretty excited but want to take things very slowly because i think i like this one.

    Revel: Hope all goes well tonight – birthday friday

  • jim_ed

    Rant: Stumbled upon the murder scene at Georgia and Ingraham Friday night while walking the dog. Sadly, this homicide isn’t very surprising considering the crew that hangs out there drinking and arguing all day and night.
    Rave: They had someone in cuffs who fit the description of the suspect description from the MPD twitter feed, so maybe they’ll close the case soon with a charge?

  • Rant: Last week was absolutely terrible in so many ways. From experiencing the Navy Yard craziness/tragedy, SO and I had a rocky week with lots of fighting and bickering, then got in a car accident which was totally my fault.

    Rave: Even after all of that I am safe and sound.

    Ravex2: Put an offer on a house today…fingers crossed!

  • skj84

    Rave/Rant: Freefest. Despite the rain I got to spend time with my sister, saw bits of acts I wanted to see and generally had a good time in the Volunteer VIP tent. On the bad side I got a ride with a friend of a friend and he was an total ass. Could not wait the 10 minutes for Robin Thicke’s set to end and was insistent we leave at a certain time. Only to admit he gave the keys of his car to a friend who disappeared. We found friend eventually, but I could’ve stayed to hear the end of the one set I wanted to see. Still a bit pissed off about the situation.

    Rave: Went to parents house for the weekend. Good to see everyone. Won’t have the full family together again until Christmas, so It was nice to spend a day at home.

  • Rave: Great weather for a visit to the Baltimore Zoo yesterday! Both rhinos were sacked out for a nap, and seemed totally nonplussed by World Rhino Day. (As I am a grown adult in my 30s who is of course far too mature for such frivolity, I will neither confirm nor deny rumors that I bought a stuffed rhino at the gift shop…. :))
    Rave #2: Adorable baby warthogs!

  • Rave: Girl from the Internet is now Girlfriend from the Internet
    Rave: New tiny grey kitten, Charlie
    Revel: September is full of love

  • rave: dinner date with husband on saturday to Rasika. Holy crap, why don’t we eat there more often? It is, hands down, the best restaurant in the city. Food, service, everything. Perfect.
    rave: we had a gift certificate so the meal cost us $30.
    rant: we still have that gift card to Volt we’ll never use. Especially with baby coming in a month, when the heck are we going to go there? answer: never. I might have sold my husband on the idea of selling the gift card, though – think of all the diapers or books we could buy the baby with it, I said! he knows we’ll never go there.

    • You should make it a priority to go. I went for a milestone birthday for the tasting menu and it was phenomenal!

      • We have gone many times, last reservation had to be canxed because my mother in law HAD to visit.
        We might try to go one more time before baby if we get motivated to go early enough and sit in the louge.
        It is just so good and every time I go, I forget how good it is.

  • Rant: I discovered my bike has a flat tire when I got on it this morning. Too late get to my dentist appointment by bus so I took a cab and
    Rave: Had a delightful conversation with the cab driver – he told me about his children (where they went to school, what they studied, what they are doing now) and then showed pictures of his family including grandkids. He could do this safely because
    Rant: We hit about every red light on 16th St but in the end
    Rave: I didn’t need a root canal, just a filling

  • MsNesbitt

    Rave: I’ve had a whirlwind two weeks at work, which have been both crazy busy and wonderful. So happy to be doing what I’m doing — and to be doing it well.
    Rave: Celebrated my BFF’s birthday this weekend with brunch, drinks, and a delicious dinner out. So good to see her again! (We don’t live in the same city, so I hadn’t seen her in 3 months).
    Rant: Being busy at work means I don’t prioritize eating well or working out. I swear I’ve gained 5 pounds in the last two weeks. Meant to sign up for a new gym membership yesterday, but opted for lazing about on the couch. Whoops.

  • Mostly a Rave: Spent all last week on jury duty in federal court. It was a pretty good experience, with fellow jurors who were easy to work with, and a judge who ran the trial efficiently. They even provided breakfast for us each day. Also happy that my employer didn’t make a fuss about me being out. Jury duty is always an imposition, but this was about as good as it gets. And since I did both federal and DC courts this summer, I shouldn’t have to go again for a couple of years.

    • Wow, you got both federal AND local jury duty in one summer? That’s impressive. I’m practically a magnet for city/state jury duty (I get called within months of whenever I hit eligibility), but have never been called for federal (yet).

  • A space focused on where you want to be would be a constant reminder that you’re still stuck somewhere else. The power of positive thinking can actually be repulsive when you’re in an unhappy place, and the power of negative thinking can be hard to resist. People in a funk (the bad kind) often behave in ways that perpetuate the funk rather than alleviate it.

    • Well, yeah. That’s why it can often help to find one tiny controllable thing that you can do to make your situation “better” — whatever that means to you, and then DO it. Then find another one. And another one. It will give you tiny things to be happy about , and it enhances your sense of control & self-efficacy. If you plan it right, the tiny steps can add up to significant , positive changes — which then may make you feel better, which then makes it easier to make more and/or bigger positive changes. The key words here are “tiny” and “controllable”. Goals that are too big or that are not in your/our ability to change are more likely to perpetuate “the funk”. IMO It’s almost always worth a try …

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