Have you ever seen a news program or clip on obesity? You know how they show a montage of really fat bellies or asses walking down the street. Could you imagine watching tv at home and recognizing your ass on tv for a program about obesity? That would be horrible.
Let’s start a new series of our favorite spots in our homes. This is the only part of the Post’s Home Section that I enjoy so I thought we could replicate it. I’ll start off. This is my living room which is the greatest spot with a fire burning in the fireplace. Notice the oddly out of place rattan chairs. Truth be known only one is comfortable. Pretty good fire though eh? Your turn. Email me at [email protected] and send me a photo of your favorite spots. Please. I’m also still looking for renovation pictures, doesn’t have to be before and after can just be after if you bought/rented a place that was already renovated.
Help me please, I have a serious problem. Do you have a magazine subscription of any kind? I get the New Yorker, mainly for the cartoons and so I can start conversations with “I read this article in the New Yorker…”. But that’s neither here nor there. You can have this problem with whatever magazine you subscribe to Economist, or Guns & Ammo. So here it is: I fell one week behind on my New Yorker and I am literally drowning in issues I haven’t read yet. Ok, I’m not literally drowning but I am figuratively drowning. I have this disease where I can’t throw out an unread New Yorker. And another one just arrived today. I’m starting to freak out. I’m canceling plans so I can go home and read these damn things. And many of the articles aren’t even that interesting. How many times can one read about John McPhee’s obsessions with trains, fish, snails, etc.? Well, actually, those are quite good but there are a lot of other boring articles. So what can I do? Can I throw out some of these magazines without having read them? Is there some kind of self help group I can join to help with this problem? Please tell me I’m not alone.
Yesterday we heard a perspective from law enforcement. So, much like the opposing political party gets some air time after the state of the union, today we will hear from a self proclaimed member of a “crew”. Now, I’ve been called every name in the book, and I have very thin skin so I cry a lot, wait I’m getting off track. Point is I certainly don’t want to be accused of not giving all sides a platform. So a big thanks to my neighbor for pointing out this “rant” from Craig’s List in DC. Now, it is from Craig’s List so I obviously can’t vouch for the author but the original post is here. Without further ado:
“I know who I am. You…not really knowing it…hit it right on the nail!
I am a thug. NO!….I do not rob people or steal from anyone. I work a 60 hour week every single day but Sunday…..but I am a thug!
I carry two guns…..yes, I’m a pistol packing black man whose family can walk their neighborhoods without worrying about being attacked, assaulted, harassed, intimidated or molested…..mainly because I’m a KNOWN THUG.
Everyone knows me in 17 of the criminal neighborhoods in metro DC and PG. They know me as well as my 38 friends….or crew as you might want to call it. My grandmother can walk to the store if she wants and not one hoodlum, crackhead or street urchent(did I spell that right)will accost her….they call her by her name….Hi Mrs.So and So! My sisters and cousins can go to any club in the area and not be molested…because everyone knows who her peeps are..as well as members of my crew…their families are safe as well.
None of my female relatives or acquaintances have to worry about abusive boyfriends or husbands and even the most drunkiest dude who disrespects them at a event, club or venue…..just the mention of a name….either mine or a crew member(sic)will make his ass sober up…stutter and apologize profusely!
If by chance and I do mean…by chance….a family member of close friend is killed…..we don’t need the police, the courts, the fancy lawyers or a technical aquital….we will settle our “own justice” and it works!
Let’s say this ‘hypothetical situation’: Two men are found shot to death in seperate locations. the police don’t put two and two together, but when they do they ALWAYS assume it’s a drug deal gone bad (smile).
When in fact…..it is ‘retribution’ for a street robbery that occurred 6 weeks earlier…a robbery that involved one of our close friends or family members. She’ll never ever have to worry about them coming back to hurt her again or worry about them threatening her or worry about them period.
See problem solved…..not your form of justice….but then again….as you already have stated….I’m thug cultured.”
I just wonder how he rationalizes innocent civilians getting shot in the crossfire of rival crews? And don’t “known thugs” eventually got shot themselves anyway, when someone tries to knock off the big man to show how tough they are?
To this I respond – If the duck sings at dawn well then it is time to get a new duck.
At the downstairs bar, woman in her early 20s: “What I like about reality shows is, like, the dynamic is so real.”
So walking to the metro tonight I was stopped by a gentleman. He approaches me and says, “I Know I’m black but I’m not homeless.” Ha, ha perpetuating negative stereotypes, always very funny. So he asks me if I’ve heard of Americorps. I told him indeed I had. Well, he goes on to explain that he is from Baltimore but his bus broke down and he needed money to get home. My answer: I’m sorry I only carry traveler’s checks.
So what’s your favorite scam?
Based on my experiences with DC parking enforcement, hell yes you better feed these.
I love George Pelecanos. He writes about Petworth, Columbia Heights, and Park View with love and grit. In his latest Drama City on page 43 he writes: “Dealers all over the city did the same thing, [Ed. note: set up shops to launder drug money], beauty and nail parlors, variety stores, an such. White dealers, moving cocaine, mostly, did it too, at those antique shops in Adams Morgan and at boutiques on the western edge of the new Shaw.” I know this is a work of fiction but do you really think the antique shops in Adams Morgan are fronts for laundering money?
The Brooklyn Blog Brownstoner has an awesome video series on getting to know your boiler. Good stuff. Check it out here.