From the Lord of Petworth mail bag:

Lord Eric,

I’m moving out of Petworth next week and wanted some suggestions for a last meal in the neighborhood. I was hoping people might be able to suggest some neighborhood highlights and institutions that I should hit up before I become a tourist to 14th St heights.

Thanks,

Eliza Q

Personally, I’d suggest Bill’s Seafood Kitchen or The Hitching Post, but who cares what I think.

What do you think, PoPvillians? What taste should linger in Eliza’s mind as her final Petworth meal?

If you complain about the smallness of your 400 sq ft studio apartment, in five minutes you won’t feel so bad…

Lately I’ve been kind of obsessed with learning about tiny houses. These places aren’t 1400 sq ft–or 400 sq ft. These are fully functional houses smaller than a walk-in closet. Seriously, many are less than 100 sq ft. The guru of this movement is Jay Shafer (he has a company that manufactures these homes which is a fascinating browse).

Many of the homes Jay and others design and build have tiny living rooms, tiny kitchens, tiny bathrooms, a loft for a sleeping space, etc. They are built on flatbed trailers (because they are too small for code-approved foundations) and are kinda like a motorhome or RV in how they are set-up and work. But people live in these things. Here is a page–with a lot of pictures–for the house design that many people seem to favor.

It seems like a kinda cool idea.

I’ve long had a fantasy of buying some land down in the Shenandoah Valley and building an off the grid weekend cabin there. So I tend to immediately think of these for that use. But then a larger question came to me:

Could these be practical for city living?

Let’s say you live by yourself. How much space do you really need? Could something like this be practical?

Jay Schafer, the tiny house guru guy, built his first tiny house and parked it in his backyard. He then rented out his “normal” house, living in the tiny house.

Could you ever see yourself living in a place like this? Do you think it would be practical?

Geez. Can we get a little rain here?

In case you haven’t noticed, it has been quite damp over the past few weeks. It seems like Mother Nature has suddenly decided to make good on all the rain we’ve been missing since, well, February.

I’m sure the mosquitos love it, but I, for one, am just about soggied out.

Makes me think of good stories of rain, flood, excessive water, etc.

You may be wondering what I could possibly mean by “good stories” about rain and floods. I mean those times when you stop and think, “You know, this will be very funny someday, but not right now.” Then you go back to shoving the mud and grossness out of your basement apartment kitchen.

I have one–which I’m sure you can top in the comments section.

A few years ago my decidedly non-camping wife gave me a great birthday present–a weekend of “camping” in a treehouse cabin. Seriously, it was awesome. Or would have been awesome. The treehouse cabin sat right along the banks of the Shenandoah River. If you have ever spent much time near the Shenandoah River, you know that it floods whenever someone pours a warm beer out into it. And when it floods, it goes so in a glorious manner.

It had been raining for days before we showed up. While it was dry, it was obvious that the Shenandoah was feeling a little…bloaty.

When we showed up at the treehouse, we could see that the river bank was rising.

Who cares, you might think. You are in a treehouse. But that’s half the problem. If you go up into the treehouse–and it floods–how do you get out?

The owner, probably hoping he wouldn’t have to refund our money, tried to convince us to stay.

“Hell, if the river hasn’t gone down by the time you leave–I’ll come get you out with a canoe,” he generously offered.

“But what if we have to go to the bathroom?” I asked.

He looked puzzled.

“I mean, if I’m up in the treehouse…with no rest facilities…what if, I don’t know, I have to go to the bathroom during the weekend?”

“Come on,” he exclaimed. “Just go off the side!”

You can imagine how this went down with my non-camping wife.

We ended up spending the night in an (empty) boy scout camp on the property, with my wife pretty much begging me to go home in the morning.

Water in the basement, swollen rivers, etc. What are some of your rain/water stories?

Good morning PoPvillians.

Okay, okay, I know some of you have other things to be happy about, like a video of a cat playing the piano or that someone has finally invented a bacon cheeseburger roll up (because eating a regular cheeseburger is so damn confusing).

Me? I can’t stop laughing at this parody of The Hurt Locker staring those precocious guys from MTV’s on-going documentary series about the dangers of untreated herpes infections.

But for the rest of you, be happy, the Lord of Petworth has returned to cover for PoP while he is off wearing a beret, eating baguettes and playing with his pencil-thin mustache.

I have to be honest, I had a busy Labor Day weekend, so…I’m kinda winging it today and tomorrow. (This, of course, compared to the massive amount of thought and preparation I’ve put into my previous tenures as your Lord).

If you have suggestions for things you would–or wouldn’t–like me to chat about–or entice others to chat about–I’m all ears.

I must admit that I’ve always had a fantasy that someone will send me advice questions while I’m covering for PoP. This has not happened yet, but if you have troubles with work, love, career–shoot them to me and I will happily share my bad wisdom with you.

Reach me at eric dot nuzum at gmail dot com.

Well, PoPvillians…the day is coming to an end. And as the sun sets, you will also feel the fading glow of the reign of the Lord of Petworth.

As much as Thursdays generally suck, tomorrow will suck worse, because you won’t have my charming effervescent hostiness to keep you company.

But look at the bright side: PoP will be back tomorrow! And, of course, as has played out in the comments time and time again: you always have each other.

But let’s take a moment and review what we’ve learned this week:

• 2,000 of you will look at a picture of me wearing a yarmulke, simply because I provided you with a link to do so.
• Never post hypothetical questions about your neighbors, because they may read the blog where you pose it.
• Despite a deep affection for Magnetic Fields, the new DC theme song should be the Eastern Motors jingle
• You can never have too many posts about mosquitos.
• Don’t put bagged dog poop in someone else’s trash can…or put dog poop in your own trash can. In fact, to avoid any controversy, do not put anything in any garbage can, ever.
• Nothing starts a bitchfight like mentioning “bikes” and “cars” in the same post. Wait, you don’t even have to mention cars.

You’ve all been amazingly good sports.

I’ll be back sometime, I assume. Until then, you can find me on my web site (okay, I’ve been taking a break from there while I finish this new book, but I will post there again eventually) and on Twitter @ericnuzum.

Peace out!

So, our final hypothetical quandary for this time with the Lord of Petworth.

Times are tough, really tough. When considering our national debt, our country is in it…deep.

We owe so much money that if we took the entire population of Indiana and funneled all their earnings into paying off the national debt, it would take over a century to pay it down to zero.

So we have to get creative…or perhaps openminded.

Let’s say that a group of Chinese investors (read: those to whom we owe all this money) came forward with an offer. It wouldn’t eliminate the debt, but would help.

These investors offer us $500 billion if we will turn over the ownership of the National Mall and all the monuments on it.

They do offer some promises:

• While they will retain the right to charge anyone to use it, the max fee would be $1 per visit.
• They would not only invest in the upkeep of the Mall and monuments, they would make significant and much needed improvements.

However, as with ever deal, there are conditions:

• They reserve the rights to commercialize the area with restaurants, gift stands (goodbye trucks lining Constitution Ave), and amenities (read: pay toilets). But that’s it–no condos or Haircuttery franchises.
• They also want to monetize image licensing. So every time we want to put the Lincoln memorial on a penny, we owe them…a penny, I guess. Or whatever. But every time someone wants to take a photo or show the Washington Memorial in a movie–we owe. In fact, just by reading this post, you’d owe them four cents.
• They will also be able to sell naming rights to the monuments (for example, “Nissan Presents The World War II Memorial.”

So there are small trade-offs, but a big pay off.

What do you think? Take the deal or leave the deal?

Oh, and in case you think it isn’t enough money (I actually struggled to think of the right amount), why don’t you say what price WOULD be worth selling.

Reader Kate wrote in, noting that with all this talk about bikes, poop in trash cans, bird nests, and outed neighbors–that we are neglecting a primary function of PoPville–talking about other peoples’ houses!

She offered up her boyfriend’s place. She says:

“Dear LoP,

My finace’s 3 BR/2 BA, two-level condo in Bloomingdale–a renovated corner Victorian on North Capitol and Seaton–just hit the market. We are both faithful PoP/LoP readers and would be tickled to death to see the place on the site. It’s been a while since the last GDoN!”

Asking price is $464,900. Info is here. Pics here. I know you folks love the Redfin listings, so here it is there.

Thoughts?

Okay, its getting a bit hot and bothery-like out there.

Of course, my mind turns to ICE CREAM!

I know the comings and goings of various frozen yogurt, ice cream, and ice establishments is a regular topic here, but I’m curious which is your favorite for a good old fashioned cone?

My personal preference is for Summer Delights in Takoma Park (kinda quirky and fun–and they make delicious ice cream). I’m also fond of Moorenko’s in Silver Spring (when the staff isn’t blaring techno music–such an odd choice for an ice cream joint). And, of course, I will never turn down a trip to Larry’s in Dupont.

What are some other favorites?

Okay, okay, okay.

When I ask for recommendation for some fine Jamaican, I’m not talking about that.

Or that either.

Here is a bit of trivia about the Lord of Petworth: I was in an exchange program in high school and lived in Jamaica for a bit.

Knowing this, you’d probably think that I would be in culinary heaven when I moved from Ohio to DC seven years ago. You may be surprised to learn that the number of times I’ve eaten Jamaican since moving here.

That number would be zero.

What? You must be thinking. Why wouldn’t you? There is Jamaican everywhere in DC.

See, that is exactly the problem. It’s kind of all overwhelming–and I have no idea what is good and what isn’t. There is just so much to pick from that I never seem to be able to figure out a starting point.

So on this last day of my reign as Lord of Petworth, I implore you, dear Popvillians, to steer me in the right direction.

What Jamaican place in town (or nearby) makes you want to stomp your foot on the ground every time you taste it?

The photo above is a house across the street from me. As you can see, a few weeks ago the dude who delivers the Post got momentarily carried away and pitched a copy up on the porch roof.

The gentleman who owns and lives in this house is in his 90s, but still gets around well…but not well enough that he would ever notice this or do anything about it or care.

The newspaper is wrapped in a plastic bag, nice and neat, and hasn’t moved an inch since the morning it was lobed up there. In other words, it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon on its own.

Now, based only on the information given to you, what is your guess for how long that newspaper will stay on that porch roof? When you offer your prediction in the comments, you must also share the circumstances under which the newspaper will be removed.

For example: “Prediction: Two years from now a large migratory bird will mistake it for a delicious salmon and swoop down, consuming the newspaper whole.”

And just to save some of you the energy spent typing out your hater nincompoopery, we (and our neighbors) help him out with stuff all the time (lawn, grocery carrying, snow removal, etc). If this were a serious issue, I would be the first of several offering to help take it down.

But this isn’t a serious issue–which is why it is fun to think of how and when it will eventually come down.

Okay, your turn. Go.