“I see you drive an F-Type R. So I must ask, “R” you “F”ing Kidding.”

by Prince Of Petworth September 23, 2016 at 12:55 pm 61 Comments


“Dear PoPville,

On 5th St NW and there’s a guy who consistently illegally parks his fancy Jaguar on our block (but never seems to get a ticket!) On my way home I noticed someone put a note on his windshield. In this case well deserved.”

  • Bryan

    Hooray for DC passive aggressiveness!

    • Kevin

      It’s replaced baseball as the city’s pastime.

    • shmoo

      yea, who cares if this person parks illegally?

      In the immortal words of Jay-Z: “What i eat dont make you shit, where’s the love?”

      • That MAn A

        Aint no love… at least in the heart of the city that is

        but seriously, i dont get why people go out of the way to police others victimless crimes

        • wdc

          Not reliably a victimless crime. There was a house fire on my block a few years ago, and due to illegally parked cars the fire engine couldn’t make the turn onto my narrow street. It had to go around the block. That house was unoccupied, but imagine if someone had been inside, waiting for rescue. The house burned to the ground, btw.

        • I Rex

          Anyone trying to make a right or left turn will have his view obscured and will have to edge out to make sure traffic isn’t oncoming or take a leap of faith, all because some entitled @#$& can’t follow the rules. Little things can become big things when you’re living in a dense environment…

          • Frank Knuckles

            No it won’t. As it’s a one way street.

      • GS

        Right. Jay Z also pleaded guilty (and convicted) to stabbing a guy. Great role model for life lessons

        • Truxtoner

          He married Beyonce, so I think on balance, I’ll pick him over you.

          • anon

            LOL +1 you tell these Jay-Z haters

          • BS

            How do you know GS didn’t pair off with a particularly bright and successful person as well? Or is it that you are attracted to Beyonce and because you find her pretty you assume that beautiful women do not marry unattractive or unsuccessful men (or women? but I’m willing to bet this isn’t in your calculus). So because of the pedestal you put her on because of her physical attributes, you similarly elevate Jay-Z for somehow convincing her to marry him. I can’t decide if this is because you assume we are in a modern Cave-man style society whereby he metaphorically clubbed her and dragged her away by the hair? Or that you have such low self esteem that you push aside all other character attributes beyond that you both find Beyonce attractive to justify your praise of Jay-Z.

            I’m going with GS on this one.

      • navyard

        Yeah, why pay taxes either? And who cares if someone robs someone that you don’t know? It doesn’t affect you, so you shouldn’t care. Everyone is soooo uptight around here!


    Don’t you have better things to worry about?

    • madmonk28

      Don’t you?

  • Truxton Thomas

    I’m normally against these passive-aggressive notes, but I’ll allow this one. Illegally parking at intersections creates blind spots and potentially disrupts traffic—so there actually is a negative impact on others. We have this issue at Richardson Place on 4th Street, which is admittedly more of a problem because it’s a two-way street.

    • ajr


    • anon

      +1. And as someone mentioned, it might make that turn a lot more difficult for large emergency vehicles or delivery trucks.

    • Bryan

      Don’t get me wrong. I think this car deserves to be punished. But I think a better idea would be to find out who the driver is and actively talk to them. As in person to person. And not through stupid notes that most likely the person will not care about because he has has nose raised so high that his eyes won’t even notice it.

  • Ally

    OP here: It is a little annoying when we almost immediately get a ticket/tow for not moving our car for street cleaning but this person never seems to get a ticket. But I honestly just thought the note was funny/witty – in the grand scheme of things I don’t really care.

    • houseintherear

      There’s a guy on U St near Flagler who parks one of his 900 cars illegally every day in the same area and creates a really bad blind spot (numerous near-accidents many times a day). I’ve watched parking enforcement pass by his illegally parked car countless times. Found out a few years ago that he used to be a police officer, so I’m guessing it has something to do with that… Also found out a couple years ago that he sawed the sign off of the parking sign pole with arrow that indicates legal parking area, LOL. Quite a guy. Anyway it’s totally ridiculous and frustrating. I’m with ya! And I enjoyed the note.

      • Bloomingdale-esque

        The guy with the motorcycles who washes his cars weekly? I wondered how he always has the same spots.

    • Anon

      Bribery? I suggest seriously: I live on a very very busy area with heavy ticketing, but there is a commercial vehicle for a catering business with MD plates parking on our block almost daily without complying with the parking restrictions, and it never gets a ticket. Not the end of the world, but it is puzzling since everyone else gets ticketed so immediately.

      • textdoc

        On a similar note… I’ve always wondered whether bribery is how the vans for the street vendors in front of the CVS and Safeway in Adams Morgan (on the 1700 block of Columbia Road) get away with parking all day long in metered (well, parking-kiosked) spaces that are supposed to have a 2-hour limit.

      • d

        There’s certainly plenty of precedence in DC government for graft. In fact I’d give 3-2 odds to anyone betting against there being some sort of corruption going on in these cases.

    • a

      i live right by this place–OP is right. this car is always parked illegally there and never gets a ticket.

      car is such new money trash too.

  • Tim

    They’re risking a parking ticket to leave the designated parking spaces open for others. A selfless hero who we should celebrate instead of chastising.

    • Ally


  • Anonymous

    OP, I strongly recommend you download the DC 311 app. You can report illegal parking, including license plate and photos. It uses geolocation to pinpoint the exact address. I can confirm that, at least in Adams Morgan, DC Parking Control does come out and ticket when reported. There was a car partially blocking the street (at least 4 feet from the curb) and parked for 10 days on Champlain – it was literally impeding the flow of traffic on a narrow street. The car racked up 5 tickets over those 10 days because I reported it multiple times.

  • Mike

    Starting the letter with “sir” instead of a gender neutral option?? Misogynist! :P

    • WreckedEm


  • DupontDC

    Hey, at least he’s not taking up a spot in a designated parking area?!

  • Erik

    If I did this my car would be ticketed, towed, ticketed, impounded and finally lost by the city all in a matter of like 30 mins.

    • AnonJohn

      They also would have preemptively denied your appeal and issued a fine for failure to pay the impound and car disposal fees! Who says government can’t be efficient! :)

      • textdoc

        LOL, Erik and AnonJohn!

    • textdoc

      I always think the same thing when I see something like that (flagrant illegal parking, people double-parking on major commuter roads during rush hour, etc.): “

      • textdoc

        Oops, that posted prematurely. The thought was: “If I tried to do that, no way would I be able to get away with it. I would get ticketed, pronto.”

  • Anon

    You’re surprised that someone who drives a ~$100k car isn’t much concerned by getting a $25 parking ticket?

  • wdc

    Can others read the note? I can make out one word in five.

    • Translator of Tilden


      I see you drive and F-type R.
      So I must ask, “R” you “F”in kidding.

      You are not parked in a parking area. You are almost never parked in a designated parking area. The rest of the community goes to great lengths to park legally, but I guess you think you’re better than everyone else? Well, you’re not. Please park in designated areas like the rest of us.

      • textdoc

        I have to say I love all of these alliterative spinoffs on the “Prince of Petworth” name (though usually with some kind of rank for the first word) — Archduke of Argonne, Tsar of Truxton, Sultan of Shaw, etc.

        • Tsar of Truxton

          There was a Lion of Ledroit at some point as well.

          • textdoc

            Ahh, good reminder!
            And I think there was a Contessa of something — maybe Contessa of Cleveland Park.
            I can’t remember whether there was an actual Viscount or Viceroy of Van Ness, or if those were just suggested titles for the Prince after he moved.

    • Transcriber


      I see you drive an F-Type R. So I must ask, “R” you “F”-ing kidding.

      You are not parked in a parking area. You are almost NEVER parked in a designated parking area. The rest of the community goes to great lengths to park legally, but I guess you think you’re better than everyone else? Well, you’re not. Please park in designated areas like the rest of us.”

  • Kate

    Hilarious! I think the OP is amused, not pissed. And as for the note writer – how is “Please park in designated areas like the rest of us” passive aggressive? It’s a direct command. Note writer has a much better sense of humor than the majority of this thread!

    • Anon

      I think he/she meant the note itself is passive aggressive since they didn’t confront Richie Rich in person?

      • textdoc

        Pfft. I think “passive aggressive” should be reserved for the occasions when one could easily confront someone with no real risk (e.g., confronting one’s housemate about dirty dishes in the sink), not for confronting a complete stranger whose temperament (hotheaded?) the would-be confronter doesn’t know.

  • Anon

    I’ve seen this guy pull up next to a fire hydrant and park there without even a glance at the hydrant.

    • Anon

      That’s a great way to lose your passenger windows.

    • Anonymous

      He must be a BSD in DeeCee gov’t. My guess is ex-cop or a pastor.

      • d

        Pastor is a good bet given the car.

        • whovous

          Jaguars for Jesus.

          • Erin

            Hahahaha! You win the comments section

  • MR

    This reminds me of an episode of Shameless, except it’s not funny

  • C

    the guy who owns this car’s instagram is @colinro. You’ll understand right away.

    • Sydney

      Ei già il resto capirà. Indeed! Colin speaks for himself:

      [I]t’s fairly ridiculous in addition to being quite mean spirited considering no one there has any idea who I am. I’ve debated writing a response letter, but not sure it will matter as judgment against me rather than a person whose letter lead w a lightly veiled curse and followed with a character attack based on absolutely nothing (a parking space) has seemingly been rendered. Certainly, it’s a bit disappointing that people would make a judgement on my character based solely on the model car I drive or that on occasion I park in non legal spot that doesn’t in anyway impede anyone’s ability to either park, walk or use the alleyway. I generally work until 2-3 AM, and although my business pays for 2 parking spots in an adjacent building I allow those who work with me to utilize them, as they often soldier into the early hours of the morning in solidarity as we cram on projects and it seems the least I can do as a few don’t have D.C. Tags or parking permits. Lastly, considering I pay the tickets I receive for parking there, why would anyone actually care if I in no way affect them or their neighborhood in a negative way.

      • ClevelandDave

        Wow, this guy/gal really rationalizes their behavior. Is it he who decides the rules? Should he decide that parking at a fire hydrant or on a close corner doesn’t harm anyone else (until it does)? If you have two parking spaces, park behind the person who is working late, or get a set of keys and move their car so yours is in front. If you have so much money, go into a paid spot in a garage. Or just take an uber or a taxi from wherever you are to wherever you are going. Or rent a third spot. Jeez.

      • Anonymous

        I live on this block. If the guy doesn’t have a problem paying the parking tickets then I will report him all day everyday.

        • Mickey Carroll

          You’re a true asset to the community, Mr. Reporter.

    • Empress of Eastern Market

      Wow. So pretentious.

  • Yappy

    I believe in certain times of the day that parking is actually legal. there are numerous cars doing the same on the 9th st NW by M st NW & N st NW doing the same.


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