“This is ridiculous/hilarious, especially when you read the commenter who says they have the wrong person.”

Ed. Note: I weep for our collective future.

Thanks to all who emailed links to this insanity. City Paper reported yesterday:

“The manager, “Liz S.,” called out the Yelper for allegedly losing control of her bowels in the middle of the restaurant and sitting in it for the remainder of the evening. The restaurant claimed they had to reroute patrons so they wouldn’t walk through the mess, and that the Yelper threw her underwear away in their trash can, forcing an employee to clean up her feces.”

The whole thing is absolutely bonkers – but alas it gets more bonkers. A reader notes: “This is ridiculous/hilarious, especially when you read the commenter who says they have the wrong person.”

Hard to not find this hilarious but it’s SO untrue – My friend Emma is the one who left the Yelp review and is now being accused of being the pooper, and without a doubt the manager/owner have it all wrong. We SAW the girl who actually pooped – she had short brown hair and was wearing a polka dot dress. Emma has long dark hair and was wearing striped pants and was sitting with us the whole time – was drinking ONE fruity cocktail (not two beers as the owner claims) and was with our group the entire time (not with EMTs or refusing to sign forms as the owner claims). The only thing I can think of is that the girl who pooped must have also been named Emma? This whole thing is ridiculous – Nick’s should go ahead and share that CCTV footage they claim to have, as I’m sure the only reason they’re not is because they have the wrong person. They better lawyer up since they started this viral libel about someone! I’m surprised a restaurant would go about it this way knowing how much hot water they can get into for accusing the wrong person of such a gross thing.