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Time to Play: “Are These Drugs?”

by Prince Of Petworth — February 11, 2016 at 10:10 am 41 Comments

drugs

“Dear PoPville,

These foil packets of powder have been in the yard of a building in Mount Pleasant for months. What are they? Why hasn’t anyone come back for them?”

Anyone know the shelf life of cocaine these days. Maybe the owner lost them/gave up on them during/after the blizzard?

Ed. Note: The best short story created from this premise gets a free PoPville t-shirt.

  • Jeff

    Only one way to find out….. Take a gummer.

    • Kingman Park

      +1

  • ANON

    only 1 way to find out, buy the ticket ride the ride

    • Jeff

      Great minds……

      • ANON

        deeeeecent

  • Anonymous

    They are coming back for them but they decided to take the red line and transfer at gallery place to take green line to columbia heights but current headwind is…3 weeks.

  • mtp

    Wait, seriously though. What are these packets??

  • Turner

    Frugality ended Mr. Lector’s brief courtship with Ms. Havisham’s reopened heart. She was lovely; delicious. Still, aged meat does not keep well. He kept leftovers small and plentiful to savor as long as possible. What howling there would have been if she’d seen that freezer. A pity to waste so much foil.

  • Dan

    How does anyone know there’s powder inside–has anyone picked them up and opened them?

    Someone could have finished a take-out grilled cheese and folded up the foil wrapper into a little square.

    When I see things like this, I think it’s gotta be fake drugs. It would be so easy for whoever ditched these to come back or send someone else back to scoop these up.

    • mtp

      I opened one of the packets with a rock and saw an off-white powder inside. That was at least a month ago.

      • Dan

        Well, it’s probably Anthrax then.

        Gross.

    • textdoc

      +1 to “How does anyone know there’s powder inside–has anyone picked them up and opened them?” I was wondering the same thing.

  • RKMDC

    If it were drugs, it would be LOOOOONG gone by now.

  • IDontGetIt

    This all started when I was looking for a Chicken Bacon Ranch pizza…

    • Anon

      Ha! That just reminded me of the bro that was drunk/high in Clarendon a few months ago and went to Goody’s for pizza. During/after his snack, he whipped out some coke and started doing lines on the table!

    • I Dont Get It

      Is it too late to say… “It was a dark and stormy night when I went out looking for a Chicken Bacon Ranch pizza.”

      PoP just a reminder, I need a tote bag and I have a Twitter account and I’m not afraid to use it!

      • textdoc

        If you get the tote bag, don’t wash it — it dries kind of crackly and weird.

        • textdoc

          I should add that air-dried it.
          .
          I was able to kind of restore

        • textdoc

          I should add that air-dried it.
          .
          I was able to kind of restore its shape by washing it again and hanging it up to dry using maybe 4-5 hangers with clips, in an attempt to stretch it flat.

  • wiredc

    Wallace was about to hand off the stash to Bodie when McNulty rode up, startling them both. They dropped the goods in a bush and ran. McNulty grinned devilishly in a way that makes you question whether he is actually hot or just hot for this city. “What the f did I do?” he asked as Bunk shook his head. “Jimmy, you know we’re never gonna get Stringer Bell if you keep scaring the crap out of the young kids.”

    • diedonastairmaster

      + a million for the wire

  • Emma

    “The trap doesn’t seem to be working,” the officer says to his partner from his respective hiding spot in a nearby tree. “We’re never going to catch any criminals at this rate.”
    A loud, staticky voice blares out from the radio attached to his shoulder calling all available officers to a metro station where a violent attack has broken out. Before he can hear the end of the announcement, the officer quickly turns down the volume of his radio, annoyed that his hiding spot has been jeopardized.
    “Should we check it out?” his partner calls from a neighboring bush. “Sounds serious.”
    “I really think we’re onto something here,” he replies, focusing his binoculars on the fake cocaine packets. “And stick to the bird whistles we talked about, you’re going to give us away.”

  • mwmp

    someone put two on the front steps of each house on my block- I opened one and there is some sort of food item inside. Couldn’t tell if it is egg or some kind of meat. Super weird- happened once months ago and not since……

    • Anonymous

      Weird. I wonder if it’s some sort of poison and someone is trying to poison local pets? Jerks do that with rat poison – they wrap it in food and leave it out. Usually people who hate the stray cats. Psychos.

      • mwmp

        I thought the same thing- I didn’t see any interest from the neighborhood dogs tho. There was some psycho who tried to poison dogs in arlington a couple years ago

  • Packet Finder

    Okay, true story. About five months ago I was walking my dog and found a tightly wrapped baggy of the aforementioned foil packets. I opened one up and found a clump of something and a lot of white powder. I threw it in the trash and proceeded on with my walk. As I was finishing up my walk, I found another baggy of the same substance. I dropped my dog off and went into Mount Pleasant to find one of the omnipresent police officers. It took some time, but I eventually found a police officer in her car parked at the end of Lamont. I gently knocked on her window. She asked what I wanted and I told her that I found a drug-like substance. Without missing a beat, the officer threw her hands in the air and said “What are ya doing to me? Look at what time it is! [pointing at the monitor in her car stating 1:50p] I get off in ten minutes.” She proceeded to ask me if I could wait and notify another officer in about fifteen minutes, after she’d signed off. I was definitely caught off guard by her response and said okay. She then threw her hands in the air again and said, “Dammit, I can’t believe this. I gotta make some sort of report, because people in this neighborhood will complain if I don’t.” She then asked me how I knew what drugs looked like and why I didn’t just throw the baggies away. I told her that being a DC resident and a fan of The Wire was enough of an education on drugs to make me think twice about these packets. The officer told me to get in her car and she would come look at them. She didn’t want to move her crafting books in the front seat, so she asked me to get in the back. I did so, feeling like a perp, and we drove off. I took her to the alley where I found the packets. She told me to open one up because she wasn’t going to. When I did open one up she told me that I was crazy and it was just oatmeal. She instructed me to throw them away. I did so. She left and presumably had a wonderful weekend. Really speaks volumes about our police and how they view the concerned citizens of Mount Pleasant. 100% true.

    • anon

      wow

      • anonymous

        “To Serve & Craft”

      • textdoc

        +1 to wow.

      • TJ

        Perhaps this is the winning story…

      • anahn

        many wow. such police work.

    • Steve

      I was kind of hoping you would say she arrested you once you opened the packet. Disappointment

    • FL AVE

      If this isn’t representative of DC’s finest than idk what is

      • Swdc

        As a native, I agree, and also what I’ve expirenced. X1000000000000

    • ANC

      Really, though, you almost ruined her weekend. I hope you apologized!

      /s

  • kstreetblues

    For sale: Baby powder. Never worn.

  • saf

    Once upon a time….

    I tended bar in Mt Pleasant.

    I had a friend who lived in the neighborhood and worked in a bar downtown that closed earlier than we did. So he would go home, get the dog, and then come down when I closed up, have a drink, help me close, and walk me home.

    The dog was half pointer. So we would walk home, and he would point at the rats in the bushes. But some of the dealers who hid their stashes in the bushes thought he was pointing at their drugs.

    Then they looked at me and at him, and said, oh, it’s you.

    I always assumed the stashes would look like this.

    • textdoc

      Hee hee!

  • Emilyhdc

    Hey that’s my yard! We were going to pick them up then we were like should we show these to cops? Then we didn’t bc we were pretty sure it was parmesan. Then it snowed and we forgot. We will toss them out.

    Side note – if anyone lost a teva on 18th it was blown into our yard by city snow plows.. It shall also be tossed if not claimed. Oatmeal/Coke/Parmesan/anthrax packs and tevas… Such is the detritus of modern life.

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