“Warning! Dog Crap – you are a SHELFISH, IGNORANT LOSER”

by Prince Of Petworth March 19, 2012 at 11:00 am 1,224 66 Comments

Click to enlarge

A reader writes:

“There are 3 or 4 of these signs along 17th st north of U. As a dog owner in the neighborhood, yes, there has been an increase of unscooped poop lately, but I’m not sure a hostile anonymous note is the solution.”

We’ll have to add this to the list of those pushed over the edge. I always suspected it would get political at some point…

Comments (66)

  1. 17th Street north of U is on the way to Planet Pet.
    I walk my dog that way when I take her there…however, I have never – in the 4 years of owning her – not picked up after her. I’ve run out of bags before, and run home to get them and returned to pick it up.

    But the reason for the increase there is you’re en route to Planet Pet.

    That, and people are ignorant. I live across the street from the evil fucking dog park on S Street, where people let their dogs bark and howl nonstop. And then don’t pick up after them. So that’s another part of the reason!

  2. Leaving dog poop is a kind of “hostile anonymous note” of its own. Unless you are French.

  3. Damn it! I was gonna make a funny “they must be French” comment.

  4. I love that it is signed “Respectfully.” I don’t mind these passive aggressive notes. It makes the person feel better and no one is getting hurt.

  5. The sign’s a little Jason Russell but I a lot more willing to forgive the sign writer than the dog crap leaver. Too many dog owners are unresponsible and clueless to the impact they have on other people.

    I run and walk all the time in Rock Creek Park, for instance, and I’d estimate that well over half of all dogs are off a leash. I don’t care if your dog is friendly. I don’t know that, particularly when a german shepherd is barking menacingly at me.

  6. (off on a tangent, but relating to certain dog owners)

    +1 about dogs off leash in the park (or anywhere) while I am running. I don’t know what your dog is like nor can I assume it’s just playing as it comes running toward me at speed. I also don’t like hopping and skipping to avoid kicking, stepping on, or tripping over your dog while it’s playing around my feet.

  7. Sick of off-leash dogs in Lincoln Park too! We don’t go there with our young children anymore because of the combo of dogs tearing around off leash and unpicked-up poo. Why let your dog off leash in Lincoln Park? They are supposed to stay on leash! (cause your dog is totally friendly and cool, right?)

  8. I take my dogs to Lincoln Park every day, and will occasionally let them off leash to fetch or play with the other dogs IF there are no kids or people having picnics there. Usually the dogs congregate in one area that’s far away from the playground and pretty easy to avoid if you have a dog phobia.

    I can honestly say I’ve NEVER seen poop in the park– I think there are enough dogs owners around that will shame someone into doing it if they were going to ignore it.

  9. Same story in Logan Circle, where dogs run off leash all the time and have totally destroyed the turf. It is astonishing to me that so many dog owners are completely oblivious to the concept of civic pride and community. They all think that their dog is perfect and not part of the problem and refuse to recognize (or are too dumb to understand) that when hundreds of dogs run loose and relieve themselves in the park every day, the park is no longer fit for use by people.

  10. +1,000
    As someone who runs, with my dog on his leash!, in Rock Creek Park, it’s especially compliated and annoying to deal with the un-leashed dogs. I wish the park rangers would be vigilant about enforcing that rule.

  11. Yeah, it’s upsetting — my dog is leashed but when the unleashed dogs start charging, he is ready to fight to the death. Which leads to a lot of angry owners of unleashed dogs once the fighting starts, if you can imagine. They do it in Georgetown, too. If owners of unleashed dogs had voice control of their pets, that would be one thing. But they don’t, and here comes the bloodshed….

  12. Yeah, that dog’s name is “Skinner”, I’ve been chased by him….as his owner yells his name and Skinner takes no heed.
    Rock Creek Park is so bad – and when all the leaves fall off the trees you can see hundreds of poop bags that people threw into the weeds rather than take them home. And so much not picked up at all. So many owners do not deserve to use the park.

  13. K9APHOBE!

  14. I think calling someone a crustacean is beyond the pale!

  15. Is there a correlation between liberals and picking up shit?

  16. I sympathize with the sign writer, but really, a simple “pick up the poop!” message would have been better. This sign really invites mockery.

    The more disturbing trend is all of the broken glass on Petworth sidewalks during the past few months. What the heck is going on?

  17. Note to Potential Pamphleteers — Careful proofreading is critical when calling someone out for being uneducated.

  18. LOL! You shelfish!!!! I can’t tell if I’m a crustacean or if I’m selfish.

    This post made me laugh. I love that whoever wrote it took the extra mile to protect it from the impending rainfall. Preach on! And pick up your doggie’s poop, everyone.

  19. You could also be a mollusc.

  20. This sign is equally disrespectful to your neighbors whom have children. I’m sure they love seeing ASSHOLE on their walk home.

  21. Won’t someone think of the children?!?!

  22. Ha ha ahaha

  23. I live around the corner from those signs, and my kids have heard worse coming out of my mouth when I or they step in dog crap trying to get them into the car. Yeah, I know…

    I noticed the signs the other day and interpret the language and aggression as desperation. Seriously, it’s been really bad on that stretch lately.

  24. Daddy, what’s a dickwad?

  25. Heh. We haven’t let the kids linger over the signs, but I’m expecting that question any day now. Can’t watch over ’em all the time, you know…

    I don’t find the signs super offensive. On the silly side, definitely, but not offensive (the incorrect use of the word “hypocrite,” and the generally poor writing on the other hand…). As a parent you can only explain that other people have their own rules for language, but the parents make the rules for our house, and we do not use the word “dickwad” in our house — mainly because it’s dumb. Of course, we just got our 6 year old girl to stop using “Jesus!” as an expletive so we’re not exactly role models here.

    I have a suspicion as to which neighbor did this. We have a big fan of note-leaving on our block. Funny thing is that if I’m right, I’m not sure that person has an axe to grind about liberals. That part is a little strange.

    But I totally get the frustration, though.

  26. This sign is just weird. By focusing on liberalism, a non sequitur, the writer lost all credibility. Not that I like people who don’t clean up their dog poop. Quite the contrary. But this is stupid.

  27. Agreed. I hate people who don’t pick up after their dogs, but why does the sign-poster assume that the dog-owner is a liberal, as if their politics contributes to their laziness and lack of consideration?

    When someone takes the time to make such a long, angry sign — complete with certain words that are ALL-CAPPED, in different colors, boldfaced, italicized, and underlined — it usually ends up making the sign-poster look like more of an ass than the negligent dog-owner. This sign is ripe for Passive-Aggressive Notes.

  28. You forgot to add that they also took the time to laminate it, but were so worked up they couldn’t be bothered to run a quick spell/grammar check!

  29. It would be hilarious is someone went back and corrected it with a red pen.

  30. Given it’s on 17th, it’s probably fair to assume most of the residents are liberal (but if this resident has such a problem with liberals he should really consider living somewhere else).

  31. “Just go back to the suburbs.”? It’s been a while since I’ve seen that one here, so I guess it was overdue.

  32. I’m just saying, if the mere proximity of liberals is such an issue 17th Street might not be the best choice of residence.

  33. Addendum: I’m not suggesting anyone move out to the suburbs. When I lived in Northern Virginia the dog poop was a much bigger problem (presumably because there weren’t any public trashcans to toss it in).

  34. I realize that demographics of the neighborhood likely skew liberal, but by mentioning “liberal” in the sign (twice!), the angry person is implying that a person’s politics plays a role in being an inconsiderate dog-owner — as though a conservative would NEVER leave their dogshit around. It’s not the dog-owner’s politics — it’s their laziness, rudeness, and lack of consideration. Angry sign-poster might have well said, “some uber-educated dickwad who breathes air…”

    Also, does angry sign-poster know that the poop is left by the same dog-owner every time? In some ways, the description in this sign sound so specific (“uber-educated,” “bleeds…urban cool”) that it almost seems like the sign-poster knows — at least by sight — who the offending dog-owner is.

  35. I’ve never understood the fascination with dogs. High maintenance and you have to follow them around picking up their shit.

  36. I’ve never understood the fascination with kids. High maintenance and you have to follow them around picking up their shit.

  37. I’ve got both.

    And you’re both right. I handle a lot more feces than I’d ever have guessed when I was in my 20s.

  38. Well, dogs don’t vote nor pay taxes. At least 90-95% of the kids will, some day. And kids in DC are Latinos, mostly. So, let’s see who picks up your feces (or pays for it) when you’re old and your dogs long gone.

  39. I’ve never understood why people get so worked up about picking up shit– it’s not like you’re coming in direct contact with it. For those prissy people who think it’s gross, I guess you don’t think about what’s crawling around on Metro handles and the like.

  40. I don’t get it either. Sure, in the first few weeks of dog ownership I was sort of self-conscious; and certainly there are times – lets just say related to certain stomach issues my dog may be having – where it can be a lot less than mildly unpleasant – but seriously, make sure your bag has no holes and take care of your responsibilities. No cooties will permeate the plastic and you’ll be done in less than 60 seconds. Geez.

  41. I think the sign is hilarious and in all likelihood dead-on in their description of the offender.

    And isn’t DC the passive-aggressive capital of the world? It’s seemed that way to me since I arrived here years ago.

  42. Huh? Not sure why you think DC is more or less passive agressive than everywhere else in the world, where I presume you’ve been…?

  43. You’re right, people in Peru are definitely a lot better at leaving passive-aggressive notes about not picking up your dog poop.

    Seriously, people are SUPER passive-aggressive around here. Whenever someone actually has the balls to literally speak out about something in public, you can hear the gasps and see the shock in people’s faces.

  44. I stopped a bullying thing on the Metro a few years ago – 15-16 year old kids beating the piss out of maybe a 12 year old kid. Didn’t fight them – just called them out, said, “Shame on you. What would your mothers and grandmamas think of you if they saw you doing this?” The older kids slunk off, totally shamed. I thought I was mildly heroic. But you should have seen the nasty looks I got from the afternoon rush hour commuters. Passive aggressive doesn’t begin to describe the seething (but unacted upon) hatred that people seem to feel for each other around here.

  45. I’m not sure that the person posting is right about the demographic of these perps. I’m wondering if it is really the pitbull owners who are to blame. I mean, if you are trying to control a large and vicious animal on a chain, how exactly do you scoop up its crap at the same time?

  46. I leave my own crap on the sidewalk…. I’m an independent!!!

  47. Thank you for that laugh out loud moment.

  48. Someone left their dog’s crap in my yard last week and I’m really pretty pissed-off about it. It’s probably from one of the apartment dwellers directly across the street, who have their OWN grass in which to poop. I mean, do you really think I’m not going to notice/care?

    ……or it’s our next door neighbor, annoyed with us for leaving the trash cans out…..

  49. live from Columbia Heights

    I thought Andrew Breitbart died?

  50. Since they are a “liberal” they probably want a new department created, paid for by the one percent, to hire peopl to pick up dog poop. It would create jobs and ensure the neighborhood’s cleanliness.

  51. I new department might be overkill, but a contractor would be a great idea!

  52. We need a ‘Dear PooP’ section.

  53. HAHAHA *desperately trying not to laugh in class… shoving almonds in mouth to stop from laughing in class… choking on almonds…*

  54. Hilarious – all of it!

  55. I think its funny knowing the guy who wrote this angry note probably stepped in dog poop and got it all over the place. A bit of schadenfreude!

  56. + 1 for use of word “schadenfreude”

  57. Ha ha ha! The file name is “dog_crap_sign.jpg”

    This is about to be an episode of when keepin’ it real goes wrong.

  58. So funny that the sign picks on politics, obviously the writer thinks they know exactly who this dog owner is.

  59. what a fun sign!

  60. Honestly, I’m with the note-writer here. Yeah, maybe the language is a bit much, and yeah, maybe the “liberal tolerance” line was silly, but whatever. Given the specificity, it seems reasonable to think the writer knows who the culprit is.

    Letting your dog poop in someone’s yard and refusing to clean it up is incredibly disrespectful. Plus, it gives a bad name to all dog owners, most of whom are quite responsible. I don’t blame the writer for being annoyed and exasperated.

  61. What is that smell in my clean house? wait, it is your dog crap that I just step on in the grass area in front of my house. Cleaning my shoe isn’t fun either. Selfish selfish selfish dog owners (thouse who don’t clean up after their dog)

  62. I am constantly thinking of some plant, spray, etc that I can put in front of my house to repeal dogs from front of my house. Any advise?

  63. Well, for starters, make sure you’re looking for brands with “repel” and not “repeal” in the title. One will keep them off your lawn, the other will have them arguing amongst eachother about the prudency of rescinding DC’s “curb your pet” laws.

  64. *each other

  65. I left a sign like that on our front lawn in Mt Pleasant. And I can tell u it is out of desperation. If I had a dollar for every piece of dog crap I had to pick up b/c the dog’s owner couldn’t be bothered….ugh, countless times. On my lawn, on the lawn next door to us, it became like a minefield. Until I had enough and put the sign up, citing the DC ordinance that states penalizes people who don’t pick up after their dog. A hefty fine and even possibly jail time! People need to call people out on their sh* t, it is the only way to make it better. In MtP, people are downright rude about not picking up after their dog. I called a woman out in front of Bancroft Elementary for leaving a big steaming pile right in front of the school. This was only days after stepping in some, in the same spot…she screamed at me and called my a bitch. I had my toddler in a stroller with me at the time. Disgusting. She claimed to have forgot a bag. Ummm, do u forget to pay taxes as well? I guarantee if I had my cell, I would have called the police, she would have been fined, and then I double she would forget again. Another time, someone let their dog crap on our frontyard, no pick up when I was having a party for my sister’s wedding. Lovely for the guests. I ran out of my house, and made him come back and get it. This is all true. People, call the cops, get people fined. These folks need to learn their selfishness is not tolerated.

  66. Sorry for the typos and deleting errors in my above post. Hard to type on iPad and spellcheck can screw u up if you don’t catch the changes it automatically makes. Just had to add that b/c I know the subsequent focus will be on the typos not the message! And again the message is – if u catch someone not picking up after their dog, call them on it and report it. Selfish people will stop their selfishness only if it is in their best interest to do so. After a $300 fine, perhaps they will realize that it’s better to pick up the dog poop. And if you want to post a sign, don’t just vent, give someone a reason to heed you, spell out the consequences.


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