Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Shamila Chaudhary

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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85 Comment

  • Rant: I’m so crushed. I have family in Nice, I am first generation American, from France. I wish France, America, and the world would crush Radical Islam once and for all

  • Rant: Pretty much all current events. The fact that it’s summer gives me way too much time to consume and think about the news and feel even more depressed.
    Lololol: last night my friend asked me what to wear to spa world today

  • Rant: I understand that the last feeble attempt to deny Trump the nomination failed last night. I know it’s hard for some people to believe, but intellectually honest, civilized, socially liberal conservatives really do exist. There’s just no place for us right now, and it’s demoralizing as hell. God just elect Hillary already and put me out of my misery.

  • Rave: This photo brings me joy and hope.

  • Rant: Where does a lady with thick hair find a quality cut in DC for a reasonable price? HELP! It’s too hot!
    Revel: Got a Friday off from work.
    Rant: Lack of responses to the 20+ cover letters I’ve sent out recently.
    Revel: National Ice Cream Day

  • rant: directions not specific enough at work for a project. figure i will just do what i can if I fuck it up, they’ll tell me and i’ll correct it. whatever.
    rave: FRIDAYYYYYY.
    rave: Nats game today. YAY
    rant: siblings.
    rant: family in general
    rave: bigger paycheck shall be arriving soon. hell yeeeeah

  • Agree. Its sweet.

  • There’s a place in the Gary Johnson camp!

  • Rant: This really is the summer to unplug
    Rave: When my son hugs me and says he loves me. It makes all sadness go away.
    Rant: And then he fights wearing a swim diaper to camp like we’re trying to brand him like cattle, yelling “I WANNA BE POTTY TRAINED” it’s not that easy, kid.
    Rave: looking forward to bringing him back to Yards Park for the first time in a year. I’m sure he’ll love it.

  • Rave: I think my meds are working. I’m feeling less sick, though not 100%. Still coughing, but my voice is back. Hopefully be fully recovered by the end of the weekend,
    Rant: My part time gig is not going the way I want. My manager is totally shady and I’m pretty sure dipping into our tips(Its a seasonal bartending gig). It’s only 2 more weeks so I’m just going to suck it up and deal.

  • So sorry 🙁

    Yes – very depressing indeed. I recommend reading Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s ‘Heretic’ ideas on preventing this type of catastrophe in the future.

  • I am really sad by the news today. When I read the washington post article about the attack in nice, I started crying when I saw that over two dozen German children were unaccounted for. I am at the point where I can barely read the news, its just so heartbreaking.

  • Awww, we know. But you need to take back your own party.

  • Rant: My contract is up for renewal and we wont know if my company won it for another 3-4 weeks
    Rant: My Manager is leaving in 2 weeks so even if I wanted to stay with the company given a loss of the contract, I am losing my advocate
    RANT: Feeling very unsure of my position on a Friday

  • Testing — was this another threading issue NW_DC? Not sure if we’re still having issues from yesterday….

  • Yup, we’re still having threading issues, PoP! IT didn’t fix it!!

  • Haha, I wanted to see if it was still a problem too and looks like it is!! Strange it isn’t a problem for everyone.

  • It’s okay–we could all use a little frivolity these days. And on a frivolous note, did you tell your friend about Spa World “fashion” or decide to let her be surprised when she arrives?

    • I told her about it months ago. We were even talking about how it’s awkward and I just kept my eyes up the whole time. Then I laughed and laughed and laughed (with her on the phone still because I’m a good friend)

  • Question: Can I leave a job after 8 months? The company I moved to is dysfunctional at best. I haven’t been looking because I think it is too soon. The last two jobs I had I stayed at for 2 1/2 years- was hoping this would have been my long term commitment but I am really not happy.

  • My comment on Spa World fashion was for Spite Cupcakes.
    My rants, etc:
    Rant–General state of the world
    Rave–at least it’s Friday.
    Rave–get to see lots of extended family at my cousin’s one year old’s birthday this weekend!
    Hopefully not a rant–trying to avoid politics at a one year old’s birthday. I’m one of the few liberals in a family of Republicans (though thankfully most of the were Kasich and Jeb fans), so I have years of experience in judging where, when, and how to talk politics (hint: a one year old’s birthday party is never the time). But some of the in-laws and family friends involve both really vocal Trump supporters as well as never-Hillary Sanders fans, and I’m a little worried they’ll all start in. There’s a very good chance I’ll spend much of Sunday huddled under a picnic table stress eating cupcakes.

  • Prince Of Petworth

    Apologies but we still seem to be having threading/reply issues for some. IT is aware and working on it (Baruch Hashem) and hopefully will have fixed ASAP.

  • Rant: So, so heartbroken right now.
    Rave: kind neighbors who will drink with you and share your sorrow as well as your laughter.

  • Rant: All the news, from the horror in Nice to the gang that beat up a Mt P neighbor in broad daylight. A gang that includes a ten year old.
    Rant: Gingrich saying there should be a “sharia test” for all Muslims in the US – has he lost his mind?
    Rave: Farm time this weekend – going to sit on a tractor, hike in the woods, see what’s growing in the garden.
    Rave: Leaving my laptop at home for no-news weekend

  • If you’re not happy and the place is dysfunctional, what’s the point in staying? And if you’ve been there 8 months and you start looking now, it may take a few months to secure your next job. Most folks will say that you should stick it out for a few years, but life is too short for that. It’s one thing to be a scatter brained job hopper, it’s another to be able to see your current situation for what it is, and try to make it better.
    *Note: I’m admittedly biases because I’m in a very similar situation as you.

    • Andie302

      I agree with this sentiment – if you stay close to a year, and have two other jobs with 2+ years of experience on your resume, I think that’s fine! Start looking now, increase your efforts as you get closer to that 1 year mark, and hopefully you find something right away! Good luck!

  • Rant/Rave: My husband and I are going to the OB/GYN for pre-conception genetic screening/counseling.
    Question #1: Any pro-tips from folks who have done this before?

    Rave portion: The whole “having kids” discussion (or lack of having the discussion) caused a lot of tension in our relationship the past few months, so having a strategy in place is making things a little easier. I’m looking forward to the next step in our relationship since we’re getting a little stir-crazy on this landing. I’m also looking forward to some interior design upgrades since we’ll swap the guest room with another room.
    Question #2: Has anyone used an affordable, and pet-friendly interior designer that they’d recommend?

    Rant portion: (1) terrified of all of this. (2) my husband doesn’t seem to understand that we can’t just jump right into this–I’m a questioner by nature and have so many unresolved questions, and I also have been dealing with hyperthyroidism since late last year (I’m not 100% yet), and the medication I’m on can cause severe birth defects, so I have to switch medication, and see how my body reacts to it before we try anything. (3) His brother is also an enormous jerkbag and keeps asking when we’re having kids–when the hell did it become HIS business? Our parents aren’t even that nosy. My family is also a bunch of winos, and they’ll guess that we’re trying before we’re ready to tell them. SO STRESSFUL and making me resent the whole process.
    Question #3: Any tips/tricks to hide the fact that you’re not drinking around family members who are very watchful of that sort of thing? I’m thinking of making fake GNTs with the gin bottle filled with water. Crazy? Just might work?

    • saf

      You’re having thyroid issues. Tell them that you need to abstain for a while so that the meds can get straightened out.

      • saf

        Oh, and, simply telling them “I don’t feel like drinking right now should be enough. Sad that it can’t be.

      • @cmonweekend, I like the “can’t drink because of new meds” strategy. It’s hard to argue with that. It might be worth starting now when you’re around your family rather than waiting til the holidays
        Also your comment that the process is stressful (why wouldn’t it be?), can you plan for some regular strategic de-stressing? Couples massage, rafting on the river, something you both enjoy

    • @Cmonweekend (it case it gets reordered): I had to go through preconception genetic testing and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It helps when you have a good geneticist who can really explain the risks involved. I found out that I was a carrier of one of the diseases on the Ashkenazi Jewish panel but we were able to figure out the real level of risk (and in our case, how to to mitigate it since we were using donor sperm). Just try not to worry too much about it and make sure your insurance will actually cover the testing (mine didn’t want to cover one test but we eventually got it approved).

      • @Cmonweekend: I think it’s great that you are going for pre-conception counseling. My OB/GYN didn’t offer during my whole “can I go off the pill? and what should I do to get pregnant?” appointment. Subsequently, I ended up doing genetic counseling during this pregnancy and let me tell you the wait for the Ashkenazi Jewish panel stressed me out way more than I thought it would! The good news is DH would also have to be a carrier, and it’s unlikely he is so I had that, but I couldn’t help but let my mind go there! I wish they had offered to let me do it beforehand. We only did CF/Ashkenazi panel, nothing more because are family histories didn’t indicate needing anything.

        I would also flag–make sure you like the OB/GYN practice you are with. Be sure to ask them what hospital they deliver at as this might give you an immediate yes/no you will stay with them and ask them about the prenatal visits/delivery overview. I was ok with my original practice when it was just for GYN, but as soon as I flipped to their OB side I didn’t have a great experience, especially when my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and it was really difficult to navigate D&C and follow-up during one of the most emotionally trying times of our lives. I’ve changed practices after shopping around to a couple of others and have been happy so far, they blow the other one out of the water!

        As for alcohol, the whole medication thing is the route I often went. Sometimes, I just drank either a mocktail if you’re prepping it yourself, or something with very little alcohol (like half glass of wine, or sipping a beer). My DH was also good with sneakily switching glasses with me while we were together so he’d pretty much consume most of it.

        And to relieve the stress/anxiety that sometimes can occur when TTC, make sure to keep up date nights/couples care and self-care (things like a massage, facial, acupuncture whatever you are into). I also have been seeing a therapist which helps for my anxiety–good options if it all really starts to feel overwhelming!

    • @CmonWeekend: I’m on multiple medications full time and therefore have to plan at least one year in advance before even TRYING to get pregnant so the doc can mess with said meds. I’m really not looking forward to this process. This being said, getting married in November so should probably start this one year process sooner rather than later!

  • Start looking – it takes time to find a job. You’ll be there a year before you do, and that’s fine. The young folks stay at jobs much shorter times, it seems to me – that’s a difference I’ve noticed – and it seems more accepted now.

  • @MtPleasantry: I think if it’s just one time it’s okay. I certainly know a few people who have done it. You just have to be prepared to explain it. Also, the job hiring process can be soooo dragged out these days so who knows you could be there 10-11 months by the time you start somewhere else.

  • @MtPleasantry. It’s never too early to start looking. First of all, a job isn’t going to materialize exactly when you want it. If you start looking now, you probably won’t start the gig for several months at minimum. If/when you receive a job offer, evaluate it on its merits, see how enthusiastic you are about the people you’ll be working with and what your gut tells you to do. Right now you’re comparing your current job to a theoretical, non-existent alternative.

  • Rant: Major headache that started last night and still continues.
    Rant: Really want to be outside doing things, like Yards Park tonight, but it’s just too damn hot!
    Revel: Have completed 3 of 4 classes on the ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. Still really interesting, really engaging teacher, and will be sad when it’s over.
    Revel: Have started ordering things for the wedding, which is four months from this past Tuesday!! This weekend going to settle on bridesmaid dresses, and have a friend who is going to design the invites for us!

  • To MTPleasatry-I would start looking. Its not worth staying at a place if you’re miserable. With that being said, job hunting can be a full time job. Be ready to devote a lot of time to polishing your resume and sending out applications. Be patient, the process can take forever. And be diplomatic when asked why you left. Even if the place is dysfunction junction, bashing your former workplace is frowned upon. Good luck with your search!

  • Rant: Only meeting today cancelled. I’m really short on work. I’m bored.
    Rave: Lots of fun things to do in my office when I’m short on work, so I won’t be short on fun!
    Rave: Loving this weather even if it’s really hot.
    Rave: Bingsoo time tomorrow!
    Rant: Dating. No luck.
    Rave: I can sit at home and catch pokemon on my neighbor’s lures in my pajamas and read until my hearts content.

    • That One Guy

      Enjoy the bingsoo! If you need recommendations of places you can go for, let me know and I’ll share a few.

  • There was a woman in labor sitting on a sidewalk last night. She had several people with her, and there was no concern, no phone activity, no apparent activity of any kind. Maybe they had already called someone and were just waiting. But that poor woman, sitting on the sidewalk in the brutal heat, clutching her belly and grimacing, while people stood around her chatting with each other… it was weird.
    In other news, the bluejay babies have fledged and the parents are freaking out. They’re dive-bombing anyone who gets too close, and screeching non-stop. I’ll be glad when the little guys can get back up in the tree and let the parents relax a little.

    • I’ve been getting dive-bombed by the mockingbirds near my place for the last month or so. It happens every single year to me, on different streets/areas, and I don’t know why (maybe because I have a dog that they find threatening)? I’ve had to alter my dog-walking/pharmacy-going/grocery shopping routes three times now to avoid these birds!

    • Mocking birds in my neighborhood make nest next to building entrances, or in hedges along 16th St. More than once I’ve had to swat at one with my hat because it wouldn’t leave me/my dog alone!

  • I see Michael Talavera at Metropolis Salon on 18th Street in Adams Morgan. He used to be at Molecule at 18th and M but opened his own place. http://metropolisdcsalon.com/ I have super thick, coarse curly hair and Michael does amazing things with it.

  • I’m confused. Getting stir crazy is a reason to have a baby? Having an action plan and interior designers is good; being on the same page with your husband by having actual conversations is, I don’t know, not working?

  • Bear

    Rant: Everything in the news. I did a home stay in Nice in high school and it just breaks my heart.
    Rant: We had our 20-week anatomy scan yesterday. Little bugger wouldn’t cooperate and they couldn’t get clear pictures of his heart and no pictures whatsoever of his face. The tech said she saw a bright spot on his heart that is “probably nothing” but because she couldn’t get a clear enough view she couldn’t tell what it is.
    Rave: Everything she could get measurements of looked normal – just wish we had more peace of mind.
    Rave: Heading home to see family this weekend, it will be good to hug my people.

  • First, it can take a while to actually get pregnant. I thought it would happen quickly, but it took us over 6 months and I was in my late 20s. The point being, while you may get pregnant right away, there may actually be a good amount of time for things to settle down. Second, as for preconception counseling, they basically tell you to take your vitamins and get genetic testing, and to have sex. Not much else to it. Third, just go to the bartender and quietly tell him/her your situation, and that when you ask for a gin and tonic, to just give you tonic. Good luck!!!

  • @cmonweekend + @anon — I agree about the conversations about having kids. This is kind of on a tangent, but I’m a little surprised that this didn’t come up more before you were married? (Unless it did and things changed?) I would never even think of marrying someone before we talked about [not] having kids (I don’t want any).

  • @eric, the French have been shitting on their citizens of Arab descent for decades. They let the Harkis do their dirty work in Algeria and then treated them as untouchables after it was over. They routinely elect politicians who make Trump look open-minded and tolerant. Much of France is like the deep south of the 1950s.
    “Crushing radical Islam” isn’t a thing. It’s an actual impossibility. The only way to stop this is to include Muslims in society at every level, stop alienating the youth, let them believe there is a place for them in France. As long as that doesn’t happen, expect more murder.

    • Sadly, this is largely true. But it in no way justifies mass murder and terrorism. I also think part of the obstacle to including Muslims in French society is the strong commitment the French have to a secular society, wherein one is FRENCH FIRST, then whatever else you want to be as long as you’re not pushing your religion in anyone’s face. Obviously, this poses a problem for many devout Muslims, Jews, and even some Christian groups, who feel their faith is supposed to be first, then whatever nationality they may be. This massive difference in priorities and what a citizen’s ultimate role is has been a major stumbling block.

  • Yeah, I didn’t include the full backstory since that isn’t necessary relevant, but yes, we talked about having kids before we were married–it would have been foolish not to. We didn’t map out our entire plan before we got married (i.e., we didn’t nail down the “when”). So the tension came from timing. He wanted kids awhile ago, and we/I wasn’t ready. Hence the tension, mainly coming from my stress of not wanting to talk about it last year, when I was dealing with said health ailments. So now that that’s cleared up…

    @anon – thanks! Unfortunately, there’s a lot of “sitting in the kitchen and chatting” wine drinking going on around the holidays, so the bartender is a family member! Any other suggestions are welcome 🙂

    • Andie302

      Take the wine, either don’t drink it, or get your partner to drink it, or slowly pour it out when no one is looking (like when you get up to go to the restroom, or YOU volunteer to fill everyone’s glass,etc.) The more nonchalant the better

  • Agree with anon. I just signed an offer letter and the whole process from applying to signing was about 6 weeks. They contacted me a few days after I applied too so that wasn’t the wait!

  • +1 to “I’m confused. Getting stir crazy is a reason to have a baby?”

  • Speaking of inclusion, I want to thank the poster (don’t remember who– jeslett maybe?) who suggested having a block party of sorts. I’ve been mulling it over, and I’ve talked to a couple neighbors and I think we’re going to do it. Just haul our grills out front and give everyone on the block a burger. Can’t hurt, might help.
    I wonder how hard it is to get a block party permit and have the street closed off.

  • Eric is unlikely to be a pseudonym for Mitterand or anyone else back from the dead from the French government in the last 50 years, so this seems rather insensitive given his rant about concern for his family in Nice.

  • Jesus: please overlook the bad example/poor phrasing. It’s the feeling you get when your married life together feels like it needs something extra, when you’re ready for the next phase of something, but nervous about it. Is that better? Would really appreciate feedback on questions and not questioning my marriage and word choices.

  • wdc – our block used to do one. I know you have to get a certain number of signatures in order to get the street blocked off for the day (the number 70 sticks in my mind; idk if that’s 70 signatures, or 70% of the people on the block… or just a random number in my head!). I think it’s available online.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: twitchy eyelid muscle that probably makes me look crazed.
    Rant: saw last minute flight on Expedia for flights from DCA to Melbourne. Thought it was a steal until I realized it was to Melbourne, Florida.

  • @cmonweekend:
    Seems you and your husband want children but have a different timeframe. One critical first step seems to be making sure you can switch medicines and still manage your thyroid. Would it help to map out a general timeframe ? Like, x months before you know that you all can start trying to become pregnant? Does your husband come to your MD appointment to talk about your thyroid medications?
    Re brother, I think Carolyn Hax has given excellent advice on dealing with this kind of question. Can you and your husband come up with a “standard” answer and then just repeat, repeat, repeat. And I recall one strategy is to turn the question around — ask bro why he wants to know?

  • Rant: Crazy stressful two week business trip. Back in DC for two weeks before leaving on another one.
    Rant: I discovered that a leak in my AC unit in my apartment had warped my bedroom floor into a Lump of Doom the weekend before I left on my business trip. This is a few weeks after we got an even bigger Lump of Doom from an AC unit leak in our living room. Apparently this is happening all over in the apartment building – AC units are all breaking and leaking at the same time.
    Rant: Apartment building came yesterday (took two weeks!!) to fix my bedroom floor. Water damage worse than they thought so they have to move my bed out from my room to tear up more of the floor.
    I just wanted to be able to relax when I got home… 🙁 Feeling so burned out this week from work and super fed up with this apartment building.

  • @MM: Thank you for the Carolyn Hax advice reminder — I’ll go look that up. I love the flip-the-question-around strategy, too. Thank you for providing some helpful tips, that’s what I’m looking for!
    So we finally bridged the general timeframe question, which involves switching medications and making sure my thyroid is still working semi-normally, going for this genetic testing appointment, and then starting to try before the holidays (hence the “how do I deflect offers for alcoholic drinks without showing our hand?” since we don’t want to share until we’re ready). Actually talking about the timeline was anxiety-inducing–this is scary stuff, but having a strategy helps calm my nerves.

    • That One Guy

      You can tell people you’d really love a drink but:
      -your taking medication has bad side effects when combined with alcohol.
      -you’ve developed an allergy to alcohol.
      -trying to cut back on empty calories.
      (the first one is a sure fire way to rebuff drink offers)

  • For Mt. Pleasantry: Yes, you can leave a job after 8 months… as long as you don’t do it repeatedly.
    I don’t agree with Mash’s statement that “[m]ost folks will say that you should stick it out for a few years.” _A_ year, maybe, but not multiple years. Leaving a job after less than a year might raise some eyebrows, but I don’t think it hurts your resume to have left a job after a year. (Unless you have a bunch of one-year stints in a row that were lateral moves, not promotions.)
    As others have pointed out, it might take a while to actually land a new job. So there’s no reason to delay starting to look for one.
    A while back, I had a job that was so miserable that I came home after my first day, cried, and immediately updated my resume. I was actively looking for another job the whole time I was there… and even still, it took me 15 months to land one.
    Good luck!

  • @RabbitRabbitRabbit: Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing that. Calling my insurance company now to see if its covered (I assumed it would be considered preventative care or something like that)

  • For LBP: I don’t think it’s the secularness of French society that’s the problem. In the case of the attackers in Paris (and Brussels, IIRC), most weren’t coming from a place of religious devotion — they were petty criminals who felt disaffected/alienated from society and thus liked the idea of having a purpose and being part of something larger.

    • No, I totally agree – but what I’m saying is that, because of their name, or their background, or what they looked like, they were part of a large group of residents (I hesitate to say citizens because I don’t know the specifics of their citizenship, but do know that France has some realllly strict requirements for gaining citizenship) who have been routinely excluded socially, economically, etc based on their religion or the appearance that they are religious. Also ties in with extensive racism. So yes, even if they had never been particularly religious, their alienation from much of the rest of French society on the basis of their race/religion likely contributed to them becoming part of a terrorist movement with the trappings of a religion.

  • @cmonweekend: Sorry to hear about all the stress right now! I like the idea of using the medication excuse for not drinking because it’s easiest and most straight-forward. I also think that putting water in the gin bottle would work well! As long as no one else is going to be drinking it and catching on that it’s water 🙂 A friend of mine pulled a fast one by filling her aluminum beer bottles with water!

  • @LBP – that’s a good point about loyalties. I think in the case of France and her Muslims, there has been so much vicious exclusion that they were left with nothing but their religion and their anger, not necessarily in that order. I worry that if the Trump narrative gains any more traction, that we’ll be in the same boat. For now, many immigrants of many religions are proud to be Americans, and will defend and support it. But if we shove them to the margins, if we vilify and scapegoat them, there’s a greater likelihood that the less-stable among them will take the radical path.
    Not only is inclusion the decent-human thing to do, it’s strategically our best bet for a safe society.

  • LBP — I don’t think it’s about religion, though — more about ethnicity/culture.

    • Yes, but those things are often so closely bound together, even if it’s just the “appearance” – “you look Middle Eastern, therefore you must be Muslim, therefore you’re a second-class citizen.”

  • @Cmonweekend – My family is also big into drinking at family gatherings, so I thought it was going to be problematic the Thanksgiving that I was pregnant, but we weren’t ready to share. I had all kinds of excuses ready, but no one even noticed I wasn’t drinking. So that’s always a possibility. I think the best option if they do ask is to blame medication.
    To someone else’s comment that it might take a while to get pregnant, that is certainly true, but I think you should be ready in case it happens quickly. I got pregnant the first month of trying and while we were generally ready, we also had the mindset that it would take at least a few months, so it came as a surprise when the timeline was shortened.

  • Pokemon Go is fantastic!!

  • Right but its always man that decide these things not there faith.

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