Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Beau Finley

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

126 Comment

  • ^ That balcony looks good right now. I’m jealous.

    Rant: Guys, can’t live with ’em. Can’t live without ’em. Well, I guess I could but….
    Rant: Told boyfriend we shouldn’t see each other anymore and he sincerely asked what he could do to improve our communication and is trying to realize the things he does that make me upset and how he can not do those things. They’re all small things but they build up. Still pissed, but it wasn’t a breakup stemming from not liking each other — so this is tricky. It is not at all the response I expected.
    Rave: Thought I’d be alone in my office today but boss is in and it sounds like we’re leaving early-ish this afternoon. Meanwhile, I can get lots of other stuff done. Hoopla!
    Rave: My friends — no matter how far away — are awesome.

    • phl2dc

      So are you gonna try to work things out?

      • We’re thinking of keeping our New Year’s Eve plans but taking a step back to dates and not staying overnight, etc. for a bit. I was reading an article about emotional labor (I know, very liberal artsy) that a friend shared with me the other day — and I think that stepping back to dates once or twice a week would take some of the emotional work off me, and give him more space to show he is making effort (on communication, planning things, etc.) through his actions.

        • phl2dc

          That sounds reasonable. Once or twice a week is the most I could handle, more than that always feels like too much to me. I hope it works out the way you want it to!

    • Are these issue something that can be fixed? Do you (honestly) think it’s worth it?
      Just a little advice in the form of an anecdote…. I have had three break-ups that were not down to no longer liking each other. The first two were external forces. The third was largely down to his issues. The common thread with all of these relationships is that they just were not meant to be. It SUCKED at the time, but really, the breakups were for the best. None of these guys (with the exception of the first, who was before kids) would have been right any longer term than the relationships were. Of course this is the benefit of hindsight, but it was the right move.
      Now, on the flip side, my BF and I had a few issues early on that could have easily been things that ended our relationship, but I felt in my heart that he was worth it, I stuck around, we worked it out, and it made us stronger. This relationship is not only the most open and honest, but the healthiest I have ever been in.
      So, it can go both ways, but only you will know for sure what the best thing to do is.

      • I think the issue(s) are something that can be fixed. It mostly stems from miscommunications about plans that end up making me feel like he’s not pulling his weight — when really that is not what he intended (and he tries to fix them but it’s always a little late). I’ve tried to give him better specifics of what I need from him for this to work (for example, think plans all the way through before I’m involved, rather than suggest something and realize it’s not going to work at the last minute). I think this really just takes more awareness on his part, but if he doesn’t have the capacity to do it then he doesn’t and that will be that.

        • Yeah… in that case, I see giving him a chance to improve and if he doesn’t, well, then he can’t give you what you need.

        • On the other hand he probably feels to much pressure to be this “perfect” person–when you view him as never gets anything right. I disagree that everything needs to be planned all the way through. Unless it deals with health, kids and finances–dinner plans or a day spent in a park changing is not that big of deal. No if he just cancels on you each time something is planned- then that’s a different story.

          • “I disagree that everything needs to be planned all the way through.” I’m not sure that there’s really a “right” or “wrong” in this situation. If their planning styles are too dissimilar, then maybe they’re just not compatible.

          • I don’t think she wants him to be a perfect person, she just has this particular need. She has three choices, conform to him and let it go, work with him and compromise, or don’t compromise and break up with him. It sounds like she’s trying the middle ground.
            There’s nothing wrong with having expectations of people, and if they don’t meet those expectations, the understanding that you’re just not meant to be.

  • Did you break up with him through text? People can respond to that with words but it sounds like actions are what you are looking for. Also, not that its any of my business but…sounds like you are being super harsh on this guy. I mean what are these little things that he does that piss you off so much? That is not a normal thing, especially in a relationship so new.

    • +1
      He now also probably feels a lot of pressure to live up to these nebulous expectations of “pulling his weight.” Unless he’s standing you up on dates/always canceling at the last minute, I have a hard time envisioning what he’s doing that’s so wrong.
      Anyways, it sounds like this isn’t meant to be. He sounds too laid back/laissez-faire for you.

  • Rant: The grand jury decision in the Tamir Rice case.
    Rave: I slept as well last night. I don’t remember the last time I had such a peaceful night’s sleep.
    Rave: Lovely plans with friends and family this upcoming weekend.
    Rant: Work is so slow. I just want to take a nap.

    • I feel you on that last rant, working from home during the holidays just makes me want to nap every 30 minutes.

  • From my personal experience, people can live in poverty in relatively well-off neighborhoods and school districts, too. So, personally, I don’t think you should feel weird. I think the best thing to do in those situations is just to be kind. As a teacher you are in a situation to be an ally and advocate for your student (and thus, his family).

  • Rave: Hopefully close to finding a resolution with the basement.

    Rant: My younger cousin who is acting a fool on Facebook and in real life. She seems to be lashing out in very unhealthy ways, and at 21 is a little too old for this crap. I really want to reach out to her, but I don’t want to be dragged into unnecessary drama. This girl really needs a mentor.

    Reminder: Unofficial PoPville Happy Hour tomorrow at Colony Club! Happy Hour specials from 5-7, and there are plenty of non alcoholic options for those who don’t imbibe.

  • Rant: I am so, so out of shape. I started a new work out routine a few days ago and I was so sore last night I kept waking up every time I turned over.
    Rant: Thinking about complications of our impending move, and nervous about talking to my ex about it. He has weird reactions to things, and just not knowing how he will react concerns me. Also, trying to figure out how it will work out putting the kids in sports and activities they want to do, which will occur largely on weekends, when they are supposed to be with their dad every other weekend. The best solution would be for him to move closer to them, but he’s probably not going to do that.
    Rant: I worry too freaking much.

    • Additional Rant: People who blame their own inability to manage their time efficiently and then blame it on other people. I realize that time management is not a skill that a lot of people have, however, do not expect me to feel bad for you having leave work late every day because you spend the first hour to hour and a half of your day either on a personal phone call, in a non-work discussion with a co-worker, or running to grab breakfast.

      • Yes! All of this! I can’t stand people who can’t get their time in order. An hour chatting?? Where do they work?

        • +1. I once saw someone at my old job curling their hair in the bathroom for an hour. But I’m pretty sure they probably still left work at the same time. Ridiculous.

        • I have seen this type of behavior occur time and time again (health care). On the one hand, if yo can chat and get your work done, more power to you. But don’t go on the clock for overtime for it.

  • Rant: Just received a text from my mother saying that she is being admitted to the hospital. This year is really ending on the suckiest note possible.
    Rave: Long weekend at VA Beach with the other Mrs. Rabbit. 70 degree weather and frozen libations by the beach were exactly what we needed.
    Rant: My best friend is moving away in a few days. This past year and a half was the longest we’ve lived in the same place since high school. I’m really going to miss having her around.
    Rave: Focusing on getting myself organized for the new year. I let a lot of things slide in the past year and I need to get things together again.

  • Rant: That time of the month. I hate it.
    Rave: Leaving town on New Year’s Ever for 9 days.
    Rant: My apartment is a mess.
    Rant: I don’t feel like cleaning it up.
    Rave: office is very quiet today.

  • Resolution: paint all the walls! But I’m paralyzed with choice on picking colors. Not to mention that I love neutrals and my partner loves bolder colors. Help?

    • Sample pots are your friend. That way, you mess up the wall by putting the different colors on them – so you have to pick something in order to fix it. Also, if you end up hating it, you can change it! Do test spots on multiple walls to see the way light hits it. And if you find something you like but it’s a little dark, you can always lighten it by adding 25% or 50% white. This is a good trick when you’re coordinating across multiple rooms – it keeps things consistent without having everything be the exact same. If you and your partner can’t decide, pick 2 or 3 each and get them on the walls to see if you can agree. Bold color for walls can be tough. Maybe a good compromise is a bold accent wall(s)?

      • Seconding the recommendation to test it on various walls. I only tested our living room’s color (grey) on one wall, and then realized once it was all painted that it was more a lavender-grey instead of true grey on the walls the sun hits…

    • Second Andie’s suggestion of a statement wall. Or compromise depending on room?

    • binntp

      I painted one of my rooms Sherwin Williams Leapfrog, which is a grassy green that goes well with white trim and lots of pops of color accents. Everyone who sees this room compliments the color…you can Google images of it and see if it would work for you & your partner in one of your rooms/walls.

    • You could also compromise by letting your partner pick bright artwork or furniture to accent the neutral walls if you guys go with that

    • My last house I had a similar situation. Husband wanted bold and dark colors, I wanted light and airy. I looked at a lot of photos online and in magazines, and thought a lot about the style of our house/furniture and flooring/trim colors. We went with all Sherwin Williams paints and picked mostly traditional colors (colonial blue, goldish yellow, light/medium grays for bedrooms/attached baths and fleur de sel for hallways/kitchen/bathrooms and medium gray for basement). It really made the house flow instead of breaking up the rooms into individual spaces. However, one room that was completely different was our sunroom. I picked sea salt (a very airy green) which looked amazing against the dark wood trim and light floors. Just get a lot of paint swatches and design ideas and you will figure it out 🙂

    • Coming to this late, but wonder if Benjamin Moore’s Revere Pewter might be a good middle ground. It’s a light grey/greige that is neutral but also pops. We just painted our new condo this color, with accents in White Dove, and just love it.

      • Shawess!! How are you doing? Still on bed rest in the hospital?

        • Hi! I’m doing fine, but yeah, I’m still in the hospital on bed rest and feeling very anti-social. I promise it’s nothing personal/PoPville-related. I just need to be in a bit of a hibernation mode at the moment!

  • Rant: Making a plan for new years eve that won’t cost three times what I would spend on a normal night out! Any ideas for a group of four that don’t involve some fancy ticketed event? I recognize we’re kind of late to the game as far as dinner reservations go, but any recommendations for bars that won’t require a cover or be totally mobbed (a big ask) would be appreciated. We would love to do dinner at home then head out around 10 but not sure if that’s reasonable…

    • While I’ve never gone, Bar Pilar does a lowkey non cover party. I did Red Derby’s annual Hollywood themed party last year. No cover, $4 bubbly. It was fun and low key. My sister I went in evening wear and played board games all night. Colony Club is doing a no cover event. The Washington Post posted a list of cheap, free, or non cover events a few days ago. I recommend checking it out.

    • This might sound like a terrible idea but in all honesty I’ll probably just end up with some people in a neighborhood of our choice and see who will take us in even if it’s super packed. I’m sure there are places along U St. and in Adams Morgan, etc. that won’t be doing pre-fixe events.

    • I don’t think it’s reasonable. Most places are pretty mobbed by then, and I imagine the no ticket required spots will fill up quickly. What I did last year was go to a bar that had a cover early before the cover started then stayed through the new year.

    • Pick a local dive bar, go early to secure a table, and stay put for the night. Do not party hop.
      Avoid the clustermess that is U Street and Adams Morgan. Many places will have a cover or long lines. The weather is going to be really cold on Thursday night (in the 30s).

      • “Avoid the clustermess that is U Street and Adams Morgan. ”
        I was initially thinking the same thing, but the problem with going to a less bar-populated area is that if the place you wanted to go to is full, you’re really screwed. I’d rather start early-ish in an area with a huge walking radius and just walk (i.e. Adams Morgan, to U St. to Dupont, to downtown) until finding space. But maybe I am wrong about this.

    • Check OpenTable – I was looking two days ago for NYE dinner spots and TONS of places still have reservations. FWIW, I did Russia House one year and had a blast.

    • Allison

      Not sure what they’re doing for New Year’s this year, but I had a great time at Angles on NYE a couple of years ago. Low key, none of that cover charge crap, and they have fun pool tables in the back. Lots of people came in the front area later in the evening to watch the ball drop, but it was nice.

  • Rave: Slept much better last night, so I don’t feel quite so zombie-like
    Rant: Still in a foul mood. Can’t put my finger on why – this gloomy weather? not feeling like I had a long enough vacation? Not sure, but man I am cranky!
    Rave: Short work week
    Rant/Rave: Some changes afoot at my workplace / my position. This could go either way. Excited but also really nervous.
    Rant: money, bills, being an adult. It’s really rarely all it’s cracked up to be.

  • You live in a ritzy area sharing a place with 3 or 4 other ppl. Why is the natural assumption that her “checking you out” has anything to do with your supposed wealth vs her assumed poverty? They could very well be better off financially than you even if they live in a high poverty area.
    If the uneventful encounter with your high poverty students makes you thought uncomfortable, maybe you shouldn’t teach in that area.

    • I believe the “checking her out” was literally checking her out, as in scanning her groceries as an employee or “checkout girl”

  • Rant: Reflecting on 2015 and not feeling like I put in enough effort to do things I said I wanted to or to take care of myself. Does that mean I really didn’t want to do them in the first place?
    Rave: There’s always next year.
    Rant: Losing 2 grandparents and a puppy makes me realize that being in control is really quite an illusion.
    Rave: I’m mostly okay with that.
    Rave: There was a lot of really great things in 2015 too – our home, wonderful trips, great times with family and friends – so I’m trying to focus on all the good too.
    Rave: Looking forward, not back

  • Rave: Made 16-bean soup last night => delicious
    Rant: Insurance is going up $175/mo, need to find a different plan
    Rant: Insurance is so expensive 🙁
    Both rave and rant: Impatients and other summer annuals still in bloom, peppers still growing in community garden. What’s wrong, Mother Nature?

  • Bear

    Rave: Serial. I know, I’m pretty late to the party.
    Rant: Was up too late listening to Serial.

  • Being a grocery clerk is an honest and respectable job. I’m not sure why this would be awkward?
    You’re making a ton of assumptions and judgments.

    • +1. This is true. Actually, if anything, she’d probably feel more awkward than you. But if she’s a hard worker she’d have to reason to be.

  • I had to put my sweet 16 year old cat to sleep yesterday. It was the right thing to do to keep him from suffering but it was devastating. He was loved and will be missed! Hearts.

  • Rave: Enjoying the quaintness of small town America.
    Rave: Took off the week. Don’t regret that last minute decision at all.
    Rant: Too many chiefs and not enough Indians at my bldg.
    Rave: Awesome neighbors who keep me in the know.
    Rave: Getting 3 very random compliments yesterday. Thanks strangers!

  • It has been soooo long since I’ve posted here.

    Rave: Ending 2015 with a bang of good news
    Rave: New job came through, starting in January, working for the fed gov.
    Rave: Dating an awesome girl and it’s becoming slowly more serious.
    Rave: My family is awesome and I had a wonderful Christmas.
    Rave: Great New Years plans for the first time in a long time with a great friend of mine.

  • Rave: Successful visit with parents. How times have changed — not only do I get to sleep with my girlfriend in their house, but my son does, too. Helps that they are both wonderful and the parents see that their boys are very happy.
    Rant: They’re getting old. Dad’s knees and lungs are shot. Lots of naps – he’s like a little kid with all the excitement.
    Rave: Hearts and minds in good shape.
    Rave: Exactly nine months after I first plunked down a good chunk of change for six custom shirts at Knot Standard, I am wearing the somewhat spiffy (even if the fabric isn’t as lux as I prefer) free suit they gave me to make of for their abysmal service regarding the shirts.
    Rant: Two shirts STILL MIA.

    • tonyr

      Your son gets to sleep with your girlfriend? Call me old-fashioned, but that’s a bit much.

    • I really like Charles Tyrwhitt shirts. They are doing their annual end-of-season sale. Shirts that are normally $60-80 are selling for $35-45. I ordered 5 shirts for myself and received another 4 shirts as Xmas gifts.
      They really are lovely and have a wonderful tailored look to them. It also helps that they have Regular, Slim, and Extra Slim fit cuts. I wear Extra Slim and it fits perfectly. I think most men would do well in the Slim Fit.
      I HATE billowy dress shirts.

      • This!! I see perfectly good looking guys wearing these insanely large billowy dress shirts that swallow them up and I really want to take them shopping because they would look so good in a properly fitted shirt

      • I too like CT for a cheap, well-fitting shirt, but I don’t consider their shirts to be worth anything close to their MSRP. But they’re my choice for a $25-40 shirt (just wait for one of their regular sales).
        Irving Street – mind sharing which suit you got? Thinking about getting a suit from them, but not sure about the value proposition as there seem to be relatively few reviews (say, compared to Suit Supply). Would you buy their suit at full price?

  • Rant: RIP LEMMY, my Punk Rock Spirit Animal.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rant: Pseudoscience and people who discredit the work of Science in order to promote their shows. (Long story)
    Rave: Learning new things
    Rave: It’s been a while since I sleep this good; I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t get used to it!

  • PoPville community: what are the best places to find information about crime in my neighborhood? For instance, last night a few cop cars responded to something around the corner from my place; I couldn’t see what was going on, but they were there, lights on, parked the wrong way, for a full half an hour. And a couple of weeks ago, there was a major response near my place, including multiple sustained sirens and a police helicopter with a spotlight circling for 15-20 minutes. Is there a way I can find out what happened?

  • Rant: Sleep number bed has an unidentifiable leak. It’s fine for a few days, then leaks out lots of air. Checked and re-checked everything and can find no cause (though something with the pump I suspect.)

    Has anyone bought a Saatva mattress? Are you happy with it?

    • We have a saatva and had a wonderful experience all around. Great customer service and a great product! I would buy from them again in a minute.

    • Also have a saatva, partially based on andie/accnt’s recommendation. I’m very happy with it, though my gf thinks the firm could be firmer. You get occasional squeaking with too much, um, vigor, but nothing to complain about really.

  • Popville! We are expecting and I am looking for a house cleaner to come before the due date and do a super-mega-intense clean-a-thon. I’m not talking your typical housecleaner, but an cleaner who would come in, clean the walls and floors and windows and get rid of every bit of dust – maybe even a commercial or industrial cleaner. Any recs out there?

    • Prince Of Petworth

      Congrats! I know most regular cleaners have different options from maintaining to a deep clean. We use The Green Mop and have been very happy with them – good luck!

    • I have been very happy with Paula. She lives in Petworth and works for herself. I use her regularly to clean my vacation rental apt. But have also had her do a top-to-bottom major clean of another rental before new tenants. [email protected]

    • saf

      I’ve been very pleased with Ecoverde

  • 2015 was such an uneven year for me. On the one hand, the great things (first time going to Europe, proposed to my girlfriend in Paris, first cruise, first year as management at my job, more $$$) but I also felt this cloud hanging over me throughout the year. Even though tons of good stuff happened, in the back of my head I still thought about my died who passed away in November 2014. January-Aprilish was a pretty dark time for me and just thinking about the year, it definitely affected my relationship w/my fiance. I was no longer the happy go lucky guy, rather…distant, kinda hardened if that makes sense. I definitely don’t see life through rose colored glasses anymore.
    BUT! Going to Church this past Sunday and hearing the sermon about celebrating recovery (not all things drug or alcohol related, also grieving etc), I’m going into 2016 in a happier state of mind. Getting married next year, a ton of things to look forward to!

  • Where can I get paraphernalia for smoking, like, loose tobacco, for instance? Somewhere in the Dupont/ AdMo area?

  • Ah, see, I got the vibe that perhaps she felt like she felt awkward she couldn’t do anything beyond teaching to eliminate the disparity she perceived. But that’s just how I perceived it (thus the “advocate” comment on my part). If the intention was poor I doubt she would have asked for its removal…. then again, intention doesn’t go a long way in the real world.

    • I think people were being unduly harsh on the OP. Wasn’t she basically just saying that she recognizes her privilege and it makes her feel awkward?

      • Agreed. Personally, I found it pretty damn awkward to run into one of my kids’ teachers at a bar, mainly because, she associates me with being mom and I associate her with being teacher, and neither one of us particularly wanted to be “caught” playing single ladies with a beer in our hand. People feel awkward for any number of reasons, we’re entitled to feel how we feel and it doesn’t mean we are being judgy.

        • My issue wasn’t the awkwardness….I’ve heard it from plenty of teachers and parents. Rather it seemed strange she’d harp on the assumed financial disparity. I know nothing of the child’s financial state, but I wouldn’t consider OP’s situation “ritzy” even if the neighborhood where she resides fits the description. If she simply said, I ran into parents twice in a week, there would be no harshness.

  • That One Guy

    Been living in the NPR black hole too long. I had no real idea who Kendrick Lamar was until I heard an interview this morning on NPR.
    What music have I missed out on in 2015?

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