“Predator on 21st & L”

via google maps

“Dear PoPville,

Wednesday night (10/19) around 6pm, I was stopped by a 6’2” muscular man wearing a blue baseball hat, blue long sleeve shirt, jeans, and a dark puffer vest on the corner of 21st & L Street NW. I had my head buried in my phone when he asked me where to find Peet’s coffee. I told him to try For Five Coffee Roasters.

He told me he just moved to DC from NYC. He kept the focus of the conversation on coffee but was clearly trying to hit on me. He told me that he’s here to take girls like me to coffee. His body language was predator-like: he kept getting closer to me even as I backed away, and when I started to walk away, he stuck out his hand and told me his name. I shook his hand. This was my mistake. He immediately pulled me in and pushed his face against mine. I pushed him away and told him to get off. My mind went blank.

I was so shocked by the encounter I didn’t understand the danger until well after when I spoke to a male colleague who said that something very similar had happened to one of his female friends. I took to the internet to search for like-cases and sure enough, PoPville had shared similar incidents.

Reflecting on this interaction, I can see that each of his questions were strategic. He asked about coffee in the area (determines whether I’m local); asked if I lived near him (a less threatening way of asking “where do you live?”); introduced himself as new to DC and provided his first name (disarming); and his body language was open (arms not crossed) and close in proximity to me (illustrating to those who happen to pass-by that there’s no threat, possibly even friendly relations).

I can’t help but wonder whether I was one of many victims yesterday. He seemed to be testing me and my boundaries.

I can’t emphasize enough that this man is a predator. I was so clearly uncomfortable and he didn’t skip a beat after I had pushed him away. He reverted the conversation back to coffee and asked whether he should give my name at For Five so that I could get a discount. Currying my favor to further disarm me, discount the interaction as “friendly,” and possibly get more information from me.

Let me be clear, this was an assault, which is a crime.

If you interact with this man, immediately call the police. We will not be able to catch him if we brush off these interactions as less than they are.

Reminder: PLEASE be aware of your surroundings. If you notice what appears to be an uncomfortable social situation, please go up to the individual to ask if s/he is OK. We have to look out for one another.”