“Dear PoPville,
Walking out of Target, I experienced irony, protest, and hipster passive-agressiveness embodied in the Gospel of Hulkamania, circa Wrestlemania 5, in which the meek inherit an Atomic Leg Drop.
Confused, nostalgic, and slightly anxious, I wandered through the sounds of Hulk Hogan giving whatfor to that erstwhile scallywag Randy (the Machoman) Savage!? Such bold claims! Such intrusive bravado!! I was caught between inspiration and despair. First, the manically amplified street preacher, now this? What more must Columbia Heights endure?
Well, let me tell you something brother…because that’s when I spotted him: the aggressively amplified street preacher rendered all but mute, his pitiful underarm megaphone no match for 200 completely shredded Watts of The Hulkster. The day was gray and cloudy, but the vibe was mahogany and spray tan. I did not stick around to hear “I am a real American”, but I wish I had.
Fight for your rights, fight for your life!”