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Flashback: September 23, 2014

by Prince Of Petworth April 13, 2017 at 1:00 pm 10 Comments

pain sculpture

“A woman running quickly towards looked me in the face, said “head’s up”, then purposely body slammed me”

“Dear PoPville,

Head’s up about a potentially dangerous runner in Dupont – Today (9/21) I was walking around 17 and S St. NW at 11 AM when I was assaulted by a jogger. A woman running quickly towards looked me in the face, said “head’s up”, then purposely body slammed me in the shoulder with a lot of force. I yelled loudly but she continued and was gone before we figured out what just happened. It was clearly intentional and she really hurt my shoulder. She was about 5’4″, Caucasian, athletic, mid-30s, with mid length brown hair. The whole experience was bizarre, but clearly an unprovoked assault on a stranger that she will probably repeat.”

  • Idontgetit

    This comment should go into the PoPville Hall of Fame:

    “People have been misusing the term body slam for way too long now. What this woman did to you was either a bull rush or a shoulder check. A body slam is when she picks you up and throws you on the ground a-la-Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.
    My advice is to keep on the look out for this woman and be ready with a clothesline to knock her off her feet. Then follow up with an elbow drop, preferably off a car or something. Then choose any finishing move you like to incapacitate her until the you can make your escape up the aisle to the locker room. God Speed!”

    • APRO

      LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • Truxton Thomas

      LOL! A strategically placed folding chair couldn’t hurt, either.

    • Brightwoodian

      Thanks! I had a rant in mind on what a body slam is. My rant can’t touch this.

  • WashingtonBullets

    Offenders such as this woman are likely to have a pattern. Make sure to repeat your same steps tomorrow and carry two budweiser cans with you. When you spot her (you may need to stake the spot out for a while) close line her, and follow up with a stone-cold stunner. Then (this is the most important part) take out your two handy bud heavy’s, pound them together in the air over her placing one foot over her limp body and chug like there’s no tomorrow. She wont know what hit her and you’ll have a great start to the weekend.

  • flieswithhoney

    I still feel bad for Sarah and wish commenters had been less…awful. Hope things are going better for you, Sarah.

  • Tom

    Disgraceful! I submit that you should leave your shoulder-checking where it belongs: On the Metro, for those foolish people who don’t move to the center of the car after boarding (then wonder why people trying to get off the trains glare at them when they don’t move out of the way of the doors).

    • NH Ave Hiker

      hahah yes. I always laugh when I see a mostly empty metro car but people are literally packed into the area around the door.

  • Margrave of Mt. Vernon

    Instructions unclear, Diamond Cutter did not come out of nowhere.

  • DF

    I remember and loved this post! I didn’t run at the time but am a regular runner now. Still bugs me when folks stick to walking on the left side of a sidewalk. This ain’t England folks!

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