87°Partly Cloudy
  • anonymous

    Yeahhhhh Boy!!! I got all my shoveling done. Time for some nuts!!

  • marigold

    “No need for lawn furniture when you can hire squirrel parking attendants.”

  • wdc

    I see you, hoarding snacks and stuffing your face. You’re not better than me.

  • jeezpf

    “Hello! My name is Elder Fluffytail And I would like to share with you the most amazing book. “

  • N

    Where’s the owl bar?

  • RKMDC

    Hi, do you have a car that needs to be shoveled out. I only charge 5 acorns.

  • Jessica

    “Hey, ya got some extra nuts I could borrow? Our pantry is running a bit low.”

  • gloverpark

    “I bet you wouldn’t complain about a gas-powered leaf-blower NOW!” #squirrelsbeetsbattlestargallactica

  • callmeB

    Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies? Our new flavor is artesian-crusted acorn flakes — it’s gluten free!

  • craig

    I’d like to add you to my professional network on linkedin

  • ShermanCircle

    “Yo Prince, heard ya moved across town. Don’t worry, I gotcha number. This snow too will pass, and you’ll be seeing me soon.”

  • IDontGetItl

    Yeah I see your shadow but this is not February 2nd and you are not a groundhog!

  • Anonamom

    Hello. Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Squirrel Nut Zipper?

    • LittleBluePenguin

      ha! love it!

  • MT P Res

    Another alleged package thief caught on camera.

    • Bizzle

      +1

    • Langdon Res

      +1

  • James

    “Ahhh folks.. Wee’rrre standing outside of a local DC hollow where the end of times has recently swept through. Tons of snow and my nuts are freezing. We have not heard from the DC DOT, but we understand that the prostitutes and drug dealers are STILL having problems in Virginia according to the VDOT representative… Back to you Ken. “

  • Anon

    Didn’t you see my lawn chair?!?! You just covered up the nuts I already shoveled out!

  • ChillyDC

    Hey! Lemme’ in! My nuts are freezing!

  • CittyKitty

    Punxsutawney Phil? Never heard of him.

  • That One Guy

    Please, sir, more beer and nuts.

  • Mamasan

    My wife TOLD me it would be worth it to stand in line last week at Whole Tree for nuts, but I didn’t listen. Now I’m out here foraging like some commoner.

  • The King Ad-Hoc

    “Free admission at Jim’s strip club? I’M THERE!”

  • Los

    Morning sir, did you shovel the snow from your into my home?

    • Los

      Morning sir, did you shovel the snow from your roof into my home?

  • petworthbrowser

    Hah! Photobombed your shoveled porch and parking space dude!

  • KR

    *cue music* Do you wanna build a snowman?

  • Andy

    Honey, am I wrong, or do the guys who come out to shovel sidewalks get smaller every year?

  • pete

    Let me in! My nuts are freezing!!

  • Anonymeow

    Excuse me, but I noticed you haven’t been neighborly and cleared the snow from your bird feeder yet.

  • whovous

    I would gladly pay you on Tuesday for an acorn-burger today.

  • Jj

    When you the only one on your block to clear your walkway…

    BRUH.

×

Subscribe to our mailing list