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Dear PoPville – Head for the Hills the Rats and Squirrels have United – Behold the Sqrat

by Prince Of Petworth April 18, 2013 at 11:00 am 43 Comments


Dear PoPville,

OMG! I saw this in my alley today and it terrifies me. Has anyone else seen one of these mutants? It looks like a squirrel/rat. It hopped like a squirrel and has it’s body but the tail is unmistakenly a rat’s! I spotted it in the alley of 14’th/13th & Irving/Kenyon NW. I think it’s called a Squrat or Sqrat.

  • Anonymous

    I also saw this thing on the same block. It was freaky, like a shaved squirrel. It did look like a rat-squirrel hybrid.

  • randomduck

    The hairless tail is likely due to nesting behavior: squirrels will pluck their tail fur to build a nest for their offspring.

    • I did not know this, very interesting, and yet still totally grossed out by the rodent in the pictured above. I hope to God I never meet one unless it’s in gumbo.

      • KenyonDweller

        Sqrat gumbo. Mmmmm!

  • If you look closely at a squirrel’s tail, it’s a rat tail with puffy hair around it. The squirrel must’ve lost the hair off of its tail from disease or stress-grooming. Our golden retriever got bored one day and chewed all the hair off of her tail and it looked like a rat tail. I think it’s called a golden retrat.

  • http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=74;t=000017;p=0

    No, squirrels & rats can’t mate; they are just not closely related enough.
    Rats and squirrels are in the order Rodentia, but that’s as close as it gets. Rats are in the genus Rattus, family Muridae; NY tree squirrels are in the genus Sciurius, family Sciuridae.

    Squirrels aren’t going to mate with rats any more than they are going to mate with elephants. Even if they could biologically, squirrels are most active during the day & rats most active during the night—when are they going to get together?

    • Anonymous

      they are in DC. maybe somebody’s turning up that Marvin Gaye.

      • Bwahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahah!!!!! To funny!!

        • dcrach

          …or they turned up the Chuck Brown…

    • KenyonDweller

      Oh, you and your pesky “science.” Of course squirrels and rats can’t mate . . . yet. This is clearly the vanguard of a mutant army of sqrats formed by nuclear contamination or too much roundup in the waste water.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, and what’s next? Gonna tell us that C*H*U*Ds don’t live in the sewers?!

    • Anonymous

      Maybe late in the evening at Wonderland or Meridian Pint? Just because they can’t produce any offspring, doesn’t mean they can’t have a meaningful relationship together. Or at least talk over a few pints.

  • Anonymous


    • Anonymous

      And the thing is, I KNOW this is a non-furry tailed Squirrel (legit Squirrel) but the nightmares will still happen…

      [email protected]$, yuck.

  • I don’t why I find this post so funny, but I do. I’m pretty sure it’s just a squirrel with a hairless tail, lol!

  • dcladi

    “Category:wildlife”…made my day lol

  • blithe

    OMG! This is the stuff that really bad dreams are made of….. Even the name gives me the willies. EEEEw. But thanks for sharing! Posts like this are one of the reasons why I like to visit PoPville.

  • Anonymous

    I am literally shaking with fear/disgust

  • Anonymous

    I just pooped my pants.

    • bookworm

      That will just attract them to you…RUN!


  • live from Columbia Heights

    land o’ goshen!!

  • Anonymous

    This is the best post I’ve ever read on PoPville. Thank you for this! Made my day.

    • Agreed, burst out laughing at Sqrat.

  • Mange, or randomduck is right.

    • AngryParakeet

      Mange AND randomduck is right. All the squirrels I see in the neighborhood have mange and their tails are not fully furred.

  • Anonymous


  • Dr Vinnie Boombots

    Sounds like it could be my Mother in Law.

    • Sebrof

      Absolute winner.

  • PG

    There’s an albino squirrel in my neighborhood. It freaks out my gf every time she sees it in the back yard.

    • Racist.

      • I am in love with that albino squirrel! I think he is good luck! I am so nervous that a hawk or an owl will eat him…

    • John Kelly of the Washington Post recently had a “Squirrel Week” thing going, including a discussion of the different colors of squirrels.

  • anonymous

    do you know how to get the sqrat to come to you? act like a cheesy nut!! hahahahaahahah!!

    • Looks like a chupacabra to me

    • Anonymous

      what if your nuts smell like cheese? and i aint talkin bout pecans!!

      • Anonymous

        Then you have a cut and dry (probably wet) case of fromunda cheese. This is the technical term for cheese that comes from unda your nuts.

  • Anonymous

    Squirrels and rats are the same animal.

    Night = Rat (slicked back hair, ready to go clubbing)
    Day = Squirrel ( strung out and jettery from latenight partying without sleep)

    Jeesh, haven’t you ever taken a science class?

  • Anonymous

    I have a related question. I have a few mice in my home and was catching one almost every day with snapping traps. Now a smart one must have figured out how to get to the peanut butter without setting them off, because they’re always licked clean. What can I do now?

    • Get a mean cat.

    • brightwood

      Every rose has its thorn….errr…I mean, poison the motha.

  • jimmycrackcorn

    Go to your neighborhood Walmart and buy a shotgun and some ammo tie a string between the trigger and the snap mechanism.The Problem Solver

  • MySusu

    Actually, we’ve had amazing success with uncooked rolled oats.

  • There must be a disease going around. I saw one in my yard in Mt. Pleasant (and I’ve never seen one before despite having grown up in a neighborhood with many, many more squirrels than we have here, so I’m not sure nesting explains it).


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