Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

by Prince Of Petworth — December 17, 2012 at 10:00 am 116 Comments

Photo by PoPville flickr user JRoseC

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

  • Rant: I looked and looked but did not find baklava ice cream at my Safeway, not even a label. Either y’all are making it up or my Safeway sucks.

    Rave: I recreated a mix tape my sister made for me her first year of college. The playlist is just as wonderful as I remember. I plan to make all her kids put it on their ipods.

  • TG

    Rant: A little on edge dropping the kindergartener off at school today. I couldn’t help but be a little teary when I saw all of those beautiful little darlings bouncing and playing on the playground.

  • Anonymous

    My new dog (7yrs old, 2mths with me) flips out when I have to leave for work, but he is fine when I get home, happy to see me. He just sleeps all day, I watch him on the security cam lol. How long will this go on?

    He also pees when he is pissed at me, like if I have to take his bone away, or if I come home, then go back out again to the gym, or if I won’t let him under the covers, he will look right at me, lift his leg and let a wizz fly, just a little one, he could have just come back in from a walk where he was bone dry, but he can muster up a tinkle when he is pissed at me.

    • Anon

      Funny my dog used to do the same thing if I came home and immediately left again. She would be upset and pee or find something to chew/destroy. Now she is always joyful.

    • Well the solution to the peeing is clearly – always do exactly whatever he wants! But for the leaving issue – try putting some of his kibble with a smear of peanut butter in a kong and give it to him as a big exciting treat when you leave.

      • Anonymous

        lol I tried that, it worked the first two times but he got wise to it. Now if I give him a PB Kong or a Dentastix (his two faves) he won’t touch them until I get home, he has them in his mouth when I walk in as if to say (See I waited for you to come back to eat my treat, I saved it all day!! and if you leave again I will pee on your weight bench that you like so much)

        He knows if I open the closet doors and start to pull out clothes I will be leaving, he gets such a sad look on his face, if I don’t he knows I am hanging around for a while and it must be a weekend. : ) Very smart dog but stubborn as a mule.

        • I have no suggestions for you, but in a perverse way, this is why I love dogs. They just want to be with you all the time. My cat, on the other hand, looks annoyed anytime I’m home.

          My dog used to get really anxious everytime I started packing. Then I took him on a few trips with me so now he’s confused enough that he’s not sure if he should get anxious or excited when I take out the suitcase.

          • Anonymous

            Speaking of cats vs dogs… There’s a darn funny youtube video, which I won’t post here because the filter will grab it. Just search on youtube for cat friend dog friend.

          • houseintherear

            YES! that video is genius.

          • What filter are you talking about? Most posts with URLs get posted; it just takes a little longer because PoP has to approve them first (whereas posts without URLs show up immediately).

    • Annons

      You need to show him you’re top dog – every time he pees, you have to pee on top of the spot so you win.

      Seriously, I’d talk to a trainer about how to change this behavior

    • SMB

      Do you make a big deal when you leave or come back? Or even just talk to the dog when leaving or coming in? My trainer said to just ignore them before you leave and for a few minutes when you come back like it’s no big deal that you left. Just something to try if you aren’t already. Not sure about the peeing thing though…

    • Identified

      Your dog has some separation anxiety. As you have only had him for a short period, he is still getting used to you, so this may be an aberation… or it may be a long term condition.

      My dog has serious separation anxiety, and after working on it with multiple trainers over years now… I just had to come up with a routine and never ever vary from it… which really sucks for me.

      It is a 15-20 minute process to prepare her for my leaving. I gather all my items I need to take with me. I put the radio on and the noise machine. She goes into her crate, and I sit in my chair. I do not look at her or talk to her. When she lays down (usually @ 10 minutes), I sit patiently and do not look at her. 5-10 minutes later, I leave. I cannot go home and quickly go out again – my dog will bark until I return home. She does not do this with dogwalkers – she barks for 2 minutes, then goes to sleep. So, if I am going out that evening, I hire the walker to come take care of her.

      It sucks… but I have been through too much expense with quality, educated trainers – based upon their advice and the years this has been occuring, I have accepted this is what it is.

      Sooooo….. get a routine down when you are preparing to leave. Follow it every time. Ignore your dog before you leave and for a good 5 minutes after you return.

      As to teh pee thing – time for training. Give him the bone, and take it away. When he begins to lift his leg, push his leg down – everytime he tries to lift it. When he doesn’t pee, give him his bone back. Repeat. repeat. repeat.

      If these issues persist… see a trainer. They may not have been able to help my pup, but it is worth learning skills you can use from trained professionals.

  • anonymous

    Rant: The Newtown massacre has been like a gut punch to me since it happened.
    Rant: The way we treat serious mental health is this country. We need to get over our anti-institutionalization craze from the 60s. These perps (Loughner, Cho, Lanza, crazy guys in Colorado (’99 and ’12), etc…) all show signs YEARS before they do anything. This is the most frustrating thing to me- that the warnings are all there, but there is no help for the families and no hope for locking these psychos up. Liza Long has an insightful article on this.
    Rave: Blessed that my family is alive and well. As Mister Rogers said, in times of disaster, you should look for the helpers. There are still a lot of helpers in the world.

    • Anonymous
      • anonymous

        Interesting- thanks. But I think the attacks on Long miss her central point, which I’ve heard from other people and other pieces over the years. That point is that families with a seriously mentally ill person find that there are few resources when it comes to having that person treated and locked up. The reality is, there are some people who just need to be locked up. We are not putting money into that, though. Instead we put the mentally ill in prison, leave them on the streets as homeless, and wish the parents good luck. That criticism is valid and one I have shared for a very long time.

        • TG

          I think a good starting point in dealing with the issue would be not teaching them to shoot and giving them access to an arsenal.

          • anonymous

            TG, I agree with this also. Mrs. Lanza’s judgment was deeply flawed, and she paid for it with her life.

  • Anonymous

    Rant: Solve the US budget deficit by heavily taxing bullets! Why should gun and ammo manufacturers make profit while we all suffer 10,000 gun homicides a year in the US!?

    • Anonymous

      While we are at it, lets heavily tax the makers and sellers of alcohol because of drunk drivers.

      • Anonymous

        Are you serious? Because they already tax the hell out of booze. Do you have any idea what it costs to open a brewery or distillery?

        • Anonymous

          Actually, I do not know what it cost to open a brewery nor do I care. What I do know is drunk drivers kill many people each year.

          • Anonymous

            the difference between alcohol and guns is so staggering that your post is simply dumbfounding

      • Anonymous

        Cigarettes and Cheeba too!

  • Rave: Fabulous 39th birthday party yesterday. Feel really blessed to have such great friends.

    No rants today! Am in a good mood.

  • anonymiss

    rant: my friends/family that live in the suburbs who always insist when they come to see me that I must want to do *something* that requires a car because I live in dc. I haven’t had a car for over 10 years and I have not found it limits me at all… except maybe when visiting some of said friends who live in the most miserable reaches of the exurbs.

    aside from the fact that dc now has most stores these people apparently love to spend all their time at, why do people think that shopping at home depot or walmart or costco is a nice way to spend an entire afternoon? it makes me ill. living in a city is SO MUCH MORE convenient and I’m confused why they seem to think I’m missing something. ughghhh. I don’t patronize them with “want to go eat somewhere decent?” since they only have bennigans or chili’s or panera or other crappy chain restaurants where they have to navigate 100 acre parking lots.

    • Sounds like you don’t have a lot in common with these people. Why do you spend time with them?

      • Anonymous

        the family part I have little choice about. the friends and I mostly just make plans to hang out at each other’s homes or eat somewhere close by… but invariably, whenever a friend or my parents drive into dc to see me, they ask “so, anywhere we can go with a car you can’t get to? no?! surely there must be something you need that you can’t take care of because you don’t have a car! let me help you!” it’s less a matter of finding things to do with them and more them just being in total ignorance of the fact that you can survive without a super walmart. I’m sort of dumbfounded that people can be stuck at home, a 45 minute round-trip away from being able to pick up a roll of toilet paper. sure, I can’t by 1,000 rolls of toilet paper at a time, but there are 3 places I can get toilet paper within a block of my apartment. you tell me which is time/money better spent.

        • Just tell them you’d love for them to help you transport the refrigerator and sofa bed you just bought on Craigslist.

          • anonymiss

            ha, excellent solution!

        • People have different opinions about how time/money is better spent. That should be obvious to you based on the friends and family that you’re complaining about. Sounds like you’re being harsh on them and they’re trying to be helpful. If there’s really a fundamental mismatch on worldview then you shouldn’t spend time with them; if not then you should get past being judgmental and enjoy the time together.

          • anonymiss

            easy. I think it’s okay for me to express annoyance at continually being treated like being carless is a handicap. don’t go all carolyn hax on me, dude.

          • What gdopplerxt said… it sounds like you have different worldviews/priorities, but it also sounds like your friends/relatives are just trying to be helpful. Chalk it up to good intentions on their part and try not to be so bothered by it.

          • Well you said “you tell me…”, so I did. If you don’t want responses then you should word your posts more clearly.

        • DC20009

          Boy I wish my friend or family would make the same offer!

          I’ve been without a car for a long time and you’re right, it’s fine for the most part, but there are limitations. I’d be happy to take them up on their offer and go to one of the huge suburban grocery stores and stock up on heavy stuff (canned good, or laundry detergent in large sizes) so I don’t have to lug it home from my Safeway three blocks away. Or even better, I’d let them take me on my once-a-year trip to IKEA, and then drive me home AND help carry the stuff up to my apartment.

    • Can you not propose something that is car-dependent but more fun, like visiting Great Falls, the Shenandoah, a winery, etc.? Maybe that could balance out the having to dine at crappy eateries (which I can totally relate to, as this describes my family)

      • Matt

        What, you mean like use your North Face clothes and REI purchases for something in the great outdoors!?

    • Anonymous

      Really? If someone offered a ride, I wouldn’t hesitate to go to H-mart, or Joes Noodle house, or Eden Center. Because sometimes the “crappy” exurbs do have somehing to offer in terms of diversity. I wish it weren’t so, but don’t hate the burbs.

      • AllTheThings

        Haha, whenever I rent a car for the weekend I ALWAYS make sure to leave enough time for a stop at H Mart. 🙂

  • Equity

    Rave: Home on the block listed for sale at $549k.

    Rant: Went to the open house yesterday. It was a complete gut job from ground up, but has ZERO character.

    Rave: Went back home and admired my home.

  • Jess

    Anyone have any idea what happened on 14th and Monroe Saturday night? Most of the block was taped off and there were bullet markers on the ground.

    • Prince Of Petworth

      On twitter (@PoPville) some readers said there was a stabbing outside the pupuseria.

  • Anon

    Rave: Woke up this morning to find out I got into the Cherry Blossom 10 miler! Woot!
    Rant: MAJOR relationship bumps with my bestie. I hope we can get through this, she’s finely emotionally wired, I know that so it makes it tough to apply logic and it’s stressing me out something major.
    Rave: 4 day work week, thank goodness.

    • Anonymous

      I got in too! So excited!

      • Bastards.

        j/k- congrats. I’ve lost and haven’t gotten in the last two years. Oh well, I should be guaranteed entry next year at least.

        • JS

          Volunteer. If you volunteer you get guaranteed entry the following year. There are also still charity spots available.

        • TG

          I think it is still open but let me throw in a thought of running the rock n roll half. It was an awesome race last year and, unlike the CB, you get to run through some DC residential neighborhoods, although that extra 3.1 miles might dissuade some folks.

          • JS

            Yeah, the RnR is great and I loved that so much of it was on my normal running route. It’s so much more fun than the all Mall routes. It’s fairly hilly though. I did both last year (which was not a great plan). And I really liked the RnR half more.

          • TG

            It was ridiculously hilly. They the course a bit this year.

          • Good suggestion but I probably won’t be in good enough shape in mid-March. Currently going through chemo, will be done with that in mid-January. Even being in good enough shape to do the CB race might have been a stretch, but I thought it was worth a shot. Also helps that the CB run is basically flat 🙂

  • Anonymous


    City residents are to pay water assessment on what looks like a permanent basis (as no temporary dates have been asserted) in order to create a fund to pay back those residents who flooded in Bloomingdale and LeDroit. I have a few questions about this. Why are the DC residents bearing the burden of acting as an insurance company for those who did not acquire the addition of flooding insurance or act as the insurance for those who did not purchase insurance for their homes. Second, from what information I have seen, the majority of the flooding occurred in basements (that have been converted, many of them illegal, meaning the conversion was done without the proper or necessary permits). So, now DC residents are going act as insurers for those who have built out or created apartments (basement) illegally?

    • I am not interesting in debating this issue. However just to give you some perspective from someone who’s house flooded 3 times this summer… We purchased the home 2 + years ago and it was 100% remodeled (basement dug out, new addition – so I would expect that it met with all the latest DC code)… the home owner disclosed no flooding and neither did the home inspection alert us to anything. So NO we never purchased any flood insurance.

      We don’t really want the DC residents to have to help pay but we are at over $15,000 in repairs/remedies (and they are still in progress), so yes, I do think the city/dc water should do something (currently DC water is denying ALL claims submitted).

    • Anonymous

      I think my friend you are seeing government politics at its best. The need is great indeed and DC should pay for their ignoring the problem. This means DC Water should pay, as in lay off a few high paid people sitting around doing nothing, no annual bonus for anybody until the problem is fixed etc. Council sees this opportunity to add additional revenue at a time when they think they can push it through under a guise of helping the poor people who were flooded because DC Water choose not to correct a problem it created years ago. They think you won’t notice a few bucks added to your bill every month, and if you ask you will be told the funds are going to help the poor flood victims (victims that are currently being denied all claims by DC). Sounds like the DC bag tax scam to me. I am all for helping the Bloomingdale residence, I am one of them, but it should come from the pockets of those being paid to make sure this type of thing never happens, not from the tax payers of DC directly. Until this problem is fixed, the Mayor and all Council members and the board of DC Water do not get paid……… lets see how quickly that gets resolved.

    • Anonymous

      I forgot to add in my original comment that I’ve also heard that many of the requests for reimbursement have been denied, though I don’t have anything to say on that because it’s being done from a 3rd party, I think. It’s strange that even with a surplus, both in DC city government and DC wasa that council members (most) are in favor of this water assessment for city-wide. It’s also interesting that the Mayor and DC wasa are not in favor of the water assessment but city council members (again, most, not all) are in favor of passing this through tomorrow.

    • I agree with Mayor Gray, it sets a terrible precedent. We don’t need to subsidize other people’s life choices, especially when it comes to housing, more than we already do. Homeowners already get the mortgage deduction, subsidizing for “green” improvements, insanely low interest rates, etc. Further cost sharing only further distorts a very distorted housing market in DC. I think of this situation similar to that in Florida where homeowners in hurricane affected beach communities are demanding that their insurance be cheap. Um, no. You need to pay for the risks you take.

      I honestly don’t know how anyone would NOT purchase flood insurance for their home, regardless of the location. It’s your most valuable investment. And, if you bought in this neighborhood, how could you not do the due diligence before you signed the contract? To me, that just seems foolish, so why should the rest of DC underwrite other people’s poor decision making? Any cost estimates when considering buying in this area should account for the cost of flood insurance; if you can’t afford the insurance plus your mortgage, you simply can’t afford to buy in that area. This is Personal Finance 101.

      Of course, DC Water shares a large chunk of responsibility in fixing the issue. But this is a huge capital project that will take many years and a lot of money to fix and the old timers in Bloomingdale have all known this. Caveat emptor.

      • But, to be fair, I also think DC Water should focus all their energies on getting the stormwater project done as quickly as possible and tighten up personnel expenses wherever they can. However, simply laying off a few “high priced executives” isn’t going to do anything of substance to fix the problems. That’s just a political stage show.

      • Anonymous

        Regarding overland flooding, I would agree it is the homeowners’ responsibilities. But there is the separate issue of sewage backup which homeowners pay DC Water to remove and keep removed from their houses. Through DC Water negligence raw sewage from every household in DC has back-up into the basements of houses at a particularly volunerable spot. DC Water should provide relief for the damage caused by it’s failures in service which were contracted and paid for by homeowners. It is DC Water’s obligation and should not be passed along to consumers but, unfortunately, that is the way of business. However, if the Counsel truly wanted to do the right thing, it would introduce a proposal for DC Water to provide damages without the surcharge, because in a round about way that is just the homeowner paying him/herself for the damages. To my knowledge, there is no such thing as sewage insurance that a homeowner might purchase but for whatever reason has chosen not so to do. The failure in respect to the sewage issue is that of DC Water. Again, overland flooding completely different.

        • Anonymous

          Actually, I think there is some insurance coverage for sewage backup into a home that is not caused by flooding/mother nature. Proving the source/reason for the backup is the difficulty, as insurance companies don’t want to pay for something that is an act of nature, unless specific coverage was bought for such event.

          • Anonymous

            Do you recall if it is a particular company that offers such policies (if so, which) or should any insurance company have this kind of plan? Thx.

          • For my renters insurance, I specifically had to pay extra for an add-on to my normal policy for “sewage and pipe back-up flood insurance.” This is separate from the normal flood insurance. It was pretty cheap, as it’s just there to cover the replacement costs of my belongings and any sort of liabilities I might incur from the back-up flooding. I got it after Labor Day, when all the bedrooms in the basement level in my building flooded due to the downpour. Fortunately, my duplex apartment is on the 2nd and 3rd floors of the building, but the add-on cost was minimal (a few extra dollars per month).

            I imagine that there is a similar add-on homeowners can purchase for sewage and pipe back-up flooding. If no insurers are offering this policy for sale to Bloomingdale/Le Droit residents, then that’s a major problem and changes my perspective on this issue.

        • Water Claims

          The problem is, DC Water is not a private company, it’s an independent authority of the District of Columbia. So if it is to pay any claims, those costs have to be passed on to consumers – it’s not like there are any stockholders or other private owners who’s ‘profit’ could be limited in order to pay the claims. So if the flooding problems are the fault of DC Water, and it seems like they are, at least in part, the only way for DC Water to raise the money to pay claims is to increase income from the consumers.

      • You’re assuming that people have good sense, which is not always the case. I agree with the Mayor – this sets a terrible precedent.

    • Identified

      “Why are the DC residents bearing the burden of acting as an insurance company for those who did not acquire the addition of flooding insurance or act as the insurance for those who did not purchase insurance for their homes. ”

      Welcome to DC, where pandering by the Council is the most acceptable action possible.

      These areas have been flooding for over 10 years? And the residents didn’t buy insurance? 10 years… it’s not like you didn’t know this area is a floodzone.

      WASA should pay… but there isn’t a way to make them. So yeah! DC residents pay for other peoples lack of forsight. You buy a home in a flood zone, you buy flood insurance.

      Just like you buy blizzard/snow damage insurance if you live in the Upper Midwest.

    • Anonymous

      It’s rather stunning that 30 cents a month is too high a price for a bit of human compassion. Rather, the assumption is that the victims are in fact criminal.

      • Anonymous

        Really? I didn’t get to the conclusion that you did from reading this. I think you’re reading things into this that aren’t there.

        • Anonymous

          From the original post to which this was a reply, “Second, from what information I have seen, the majority of the flooding occurred in basements (that have been converted, many of them illegal, meaning the conversion was done without the proper or necessary permits). So, now DC residents are going act as insurers for those who have built out or created apartments (basement) illegally?” I don’t really think I’m extrapolating too much.

          • Anonymous

            It didn’t occur to me to think about with all the flooding issues in Bloomingdale/Ledroit about the issue of illegal basement apartment rentals. I was reading some things and this point was made and it was an interesting one because I guess this would complicate the issue even more in these discussions. As discussed in a lot of places, some people don’t want to deal with the hassles of going through all the channels to make a basement into a legal rental or there are reasons/issues that this is not done. As I said, this information will complicate the issues in this discussion even more.

  • Anonymous

    Not sure about the forum topic where someone is suggesting donating gifts for Newtown victims? I’m not saying this is a hoax, that’s not my issue. I’m just not sure that they want gifts, not even sure how many of them really would feel like celebrating the season. I think the gift that they would want is to take Friday back and have their child back.

    • Anonymous

      what is wrong with people? I wish everyone would stop tweeting about how “sad” or “horrified” they are about the event because it just makes the whole thing seem trite. there are a few people who have managed to make some thoughtful comments, but most people saying “hug your loved ones” just come off sounding ridiculous. keep your mouths shut.

      • Ah, the double-edged sword of social media. Yes, I feel badly for the families who lost a child, a mother, a friend, but I don’t feel the need to write about it on my facebook wall as I didn’t personally know or lose anyone in the tragedy. However, there are a number of people that use their keyboards to help express sadness. Whatever helps.

        I’m not a parent, but I did feel a pang in my heart this morning for those parents who would have given anything to have their normal shower/breakfast/”did do you do your homework”/drive kids to school type of morning today, but were robbed of it at the hands of a boy with mental health issues and easy access to weapons.

      • TG

        Anon: Try not to be too high handed. Some people have been really deeply impacted and shaken by this event. Whatever they need to do to try to cope with it just leave them be. Not everyone is eloquent or thoughtful, some people just want to express how they are feeling in whatever way they can.

  • Anonymous


    According to the the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 3,042 children and teens died from gunfire in America in 2007 – one child or teen every three hours, eight every day, 58 every week. Almost six times as many children and teens – 17,523 – suffered non-fatal gun injuries and the often-lifelong emotional aftermath that follow

    Where is the 24 hour news coverage for them? Why is this more tragic because this one day the amount of children dead from guns was above average and in one place? How is not a hollow gesture to cry and scream “oh the children,” when the other 364 days a year you care nothing for dead children, or at most care in the most abstract and superficial way giving them no specific thoughts unless the make a one minute segment on the daily news?

    These are serious questions, someone explain to me the difference.

    • anon

      Why the lack of media cover? No ratings. Unfortunately these type of tragedies give the media the opportunity to cash in by locking in eyeballs.

      I don’t know, If I lived in Newtown Ct, I think I’d be pretty annoyed with the satellite truck and talking head invasion of our small town. It’s unnecessary to have Anderson Cooper and Soledad O’Brien reporting live from the scene. This was an unspeakable tragedy but the media’s attempt to cash in just adds to their problems…

    • Anonymous

      Frankly, I don’t see a real question in your comment. It’s an argument disguised as a query, and I hate those. It’s like, why didn’t they make a movie called “One Dalmatian”?

    • Anonymous

      FTR: Anonymous 11:23 post is not the same commenter as Anonymous 11:19, despite that the formatting for the “Question” is the same.

    • The reason there’s no 24-hour news coverage of shootings of individual children is that (sadly) it’s commonplace enough in this country that it doesn’t register as a Big Newsworthy Deal.

      In countries that have much tighter gun laws, individual gun homicides receive a lot more press attention than they do here.

    • bfinpetworth

      For what it’s worth, President Obama did invoke the people “in Chicago or Philadelphia” getting shot on street corners. He is trying to equate the two circumstances. And I agree with you.

  • Britt

    Rant (not really…but sort of): When people say I love you more. If I say I love you then leave it at that – don’t make it a competition!

    Rant: Spent the weekend riding the up and down of my emotions – I’m getting back into working out seriously and think skipping a workout and then getting another one in might have contributed. Also the sad news…

    Rave: I love all the gifts I have for others and cannot wait to give them! I’m one of those people who once they have the gift cannot wait to give it to the person! I’m trying to be patient.

    • I’m the same way!!! In fact, I made my boyfriend open one of his gifts last night because I was so excited and couldn’t wait haha

      • Hehe I’m the same way, I can’t keep secrets from people when they’re good surprises. I already spoiled for husband the fact that I’m going to bake cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, which I wanted to be a surprise, but couldn’t wait.

        • hahahaha *totally* something I would do!

  • AK

    Hey PoP, not sure how much oversight you have of specific ads, but one that’s showing up for me on this page is pretty tasteless, especially this week: a picture of guy in a balaclava pointing a gun directly at the viewer, with the text reading “Do You Feel Lucky? Test Your Self-Defense Skills With a FREE Quiz.”

    • Prince Of Petworth

      Awful. So sorry about that. Emailing the ad people right now.

    • anon

      I might be mistaken but I believe they’re based on your browser’s cookies.
      I’m getting AAA and Amex ads…

      • Prince Of Petworth

        Yes but we should be able to block offensive ads like this. They’re working on that right now. Again apologies to anyone who got such an ad.

        • AK

          Thanks for the response! The ad would have been kinda creepy even on a good day, but especially this week I’d hate for something you didn’t even know about to reflect badly on your site.

  • Anonymous

    Rant/Rave: The not good relationship is over. Feeling just a little sad and missing him only a little, but reminding myself of all the ways he didn’t treat me well and made it seem like my fault.

    Now how do I go about finding a good guy/good relationship?

    • Anonymous

      probably take some time to yourself to do things you like to do alone or with friends. take a class, learn an instrument, etc. then maybe examine why you put up with him not treating you well for more than half a second. often, the people we are attracted to are the people who are the worst for us. for example, think about all the wonderful things your parents did to make you feel loved… now think about all the things they did that hurt you, intentional or not… you probably go in for guys that do the things your parents did that hurt you and try to get them to do the things that made you feel loved. we’re constantly trying to “fix” things with our parents (our first real relationship) with people we date. not that this is necessarily true for you, but when I did that exercise with a therapist, it was life changing!

      • Or maybe – less complicated – we’re all messy and sometimes it takes a while to sort it all out.

    • If you feel great about yourself, confident, and empowered, then people will be attracted to you. A little confidence and being self-assured goes a long way.

      Think about the most important qualities you might want in a person – e.g. charitable, giving, smart, successful, in shape, etc. – then get involved in events where people with those qualities would attend. It’s all about the correlations. Certain people are drawn to certain things, makes sense right?

      • Anonymous

        Hey zero_sum, does your advice work for you: “If you feel great about yourself, confident, and empowered, then people will be attracted to you. A little confidence and being self-assured goes a long way.”

        This is definitely true, though. Though not sure how easy it is for people to achieve IRL. If it were, more people would be “happily” (sorry for the lack of a better word) coupled.

      • same

        i know i need to cut the ties with a current guy, but im dragging. its good to know you pulled the trigger, as itll be better in the future, but its still so frustrating. i hate when a potentially good relationship falls by the wayside.

        • Anonymous

          me too.. i know my relationship isn’t right and will end sooner or later. but i don’t want to give up hope, i want the relationship to work.

          • JS

            If it’s not going to work out (which I assume means you’d like it not to work out) break up. Use the energy you’re spending on trying to fix something that isn’t going to get fixed to learn lessons and move on. I used to do the whole “but I *must* fix it!!!!” thing. Why? There’s no prize for being in a functioning relationship. And there’s certainly no prize for being in a functioning shitty relationship. You’re much better off making your standards higher and learning from failed relationships on your own.

          • Anonymous

            Best of luck to you and Same. I kept thinking wishfully that things would get better but I knew they weren’t going to change. When I start feeling sad about the break up I try to remind myself how unhappy I was. It’s hard either way – hanging on or letting go – so I sympathize. And good relationships are not easy to find, regardless of confidence level, good attitude, etc.

          • If it isn’t working now, it ain’t ever going to work.

      • “If you feel great about yourself, confident, and empowered . . .” you are probably not challenging yourself enough.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t even imagine what the dating scene would be like in DC?

      • pretty shi*ty.

        • I have to disagree. While I haven’t clicked with every woman I’ve gone on a date with, I haven’t had any bad dates and found nearly all of them to be interesting. Can’t say the same about other places I’ve lived (where I went on a lot fewer dates too)…

          • A

            Yeah, I feel more or less the same about the guys I’ve gone out with (although I have had some bad dates). But meeting the right person is hard… I doubt it would be any easier in another city.

  • maryedith

    Rave: Got a gorgeous dress for an inaugural ball that was more than 80% off.

    Rant: Need to get it hemmed and it has pretty elaborate beading all over. Does anyone know of a really good seamstress who could handle this sort of delicate work without charging an arm and a leg? I know it’s going to be expensive, but I’m scared it is going to be more than $200, ugh.

    • Annonymous

      Try the tailor in the lobby of the building at 1100 New York Ave NW. They helped me with my wedding dress, and really know what they are doing. I don’t know how much they would charge, but they do excellent work.

  • AnnE

    Rave: Enjoying on-line course on reasoning. I see that “buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo” is a grammatically correct and meaningful sentence, but I can’t figure out how “buffalo buffalo buffalo (eight times) makes sense. Apparently “buffalo x 11” also makes sense.

    Rant: Grey days are depressing.

    • Buffalo

      Buffalo bison Buffalo bison bully bully Buffalo bison

  • DCtoNY

    Rant: Breaking up sucks. Really, it’s like having an actual hole in your chest.
    Rave: Opportunity to grow and eventually find someone that I love/loves me!

  • Anonymous

    My best friend’s son is a first grader at Sandy Hook Elemetary School. Thankfully he is okay but he lost a lot of friends on Friday. How do you go about explaining to a 6 year old that half of his friends are dead?

    I am deeply saddened that events such as Friday’s are the only things that get the Nation’s attention. Sure there needs to be tighter gun regulations, but there also needs to be frank discussions about the lack of access to good mental healthcare in America and the overstaturation of violence in entertainment. There needs to be change, or sadly there will be more of these events.

    I weep for the new born I saw at the hospital on the day of his birth, I weep for all of the people in Newtown, CT, and I weep for America.

  • Anonymous

    Rant: Unisex bathrooms
    Rant: People who miss the seat. Seriously?

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, what can we expect from society when the world is full of people who can’t even urinate successfully?

  • KristenDub

    Rave/Revel: 12 week sonogram showing mini-baby with legs kicking, strong heart beat, and “as good as it gets” genetic screening. Can’t wait to tell the extended family over Christmas!

    Rant: I’m one of those pregnant women who doesn’t feel pregnant. I know, should be a rave and I should count myself lucky.

    • Anonymous

      Congrats! the 12 week u/s is great because it really/finally looks like a baby in there. I never “felt” pregnant either in the beginning (lucky yes, no morning sickness etc). but give it time. I am 37 weeks and I feel pretty miserable 80% of the time. But still a rave to be having a baby soon!

  • Rant: My sister, who lives a charmed life with her wealthy husband, finds the need to blame our dad for “ruining her life.” Thanksgiving weekend she told him that she hopes he gets hit by a car and dies. Once he’s dead she will then dance on his grave. She also blames me for her c section, robbing her of her happiness, etc… Neither of us has done anything to deserve this treatment.

    I am shocked to say the least. Anyone out there dealt with a sibling like this?

    Revel: none on this topic…

    • Anonymous

      It may be true that neither you nor your father did anything to deserve such hateful comments from your sister/daughter – and those comments sound awful and hateful. It’s a little hard for me to believe that those comments come out of nowhere because those are pretty strong feelings to have towards another person. In family dynamics or close relationships, even good ones have stress and strong irritations/disagreements. When you write your sister lives a charmed life with her wealthy husband, you are showing some bias or judgement for your sister so perhaps there are other ways that this comes out. It does seem like she may not be the most reasonable person to blame someone else for the lack of happiness, etc. Sorry you have to deal with it, as it seems pretty unpleasant all around.

  • Rant: Coworkers that constantly discuss their medical conditions and appointments. I know, I know, we have a very open office environment but I don’t WANT to hear about your colonoscopy! Multiple times! Or your experience giving birth.

    Rave: Other than that, I am really lucky in terms of coworkers.


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