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  • I guess the conservatives were right about gay marriage being a slippery slope.

  • UStreeter

    Susan was ecstatic to finally find a girl who hadn’t dated all her friends.

  • Not to be outdown up by Elmo, DC found it’s very own puppeteer sex scandal.

  • sue ruff

    “Don’t cry, Cinderella. Your ugly stepsisters aren’t going to the Inaugural Ball, either.”

  • The Club for Growth has found the perfect candidate to back in the next election…

  • te

    Sir, we’ve finally found you a female running mate who will bring in the women voters and is guarenteed to never go “rogue.”

  • Anonymous

    Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
    ‘Cause I wonder where you are
    And I wonder what you do
    Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
    Tell me how to win your heart
    For I haven’t got a clue
    But let me start by saying I love you

  • Hush little puppet don’t you cry, Romney’s not gonna take you big bird away.

  • Oh Leader Pelosi how I longed for this moment…

  • KenyonDweller

    Je t’aime ma chérie!

  • Anonymous

    Fox news anchor gets prepped for her coverage of the fiscal cliff.

  • I said don’t turn around! Use your peripherals…see them? See the tourists?

  • TG

    Just another dummy on Capitol Hill.

  • If you keep making that face it will stick that way.

    • Anonymous

      So far, of the ones posted, I like this one best.

  • Anonymous

    No one has ever successfully combed their friends hair while tripping on acid. Fact!

  • Bonus Entry

    Stop. You are making a mockery of this whole event.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve brought you here on your 18th birthday because one day soon, a charming and very powerful Lobbyist will pick you and you will become their special puppet.

  • TC

    Legalize mâché marriage!

  • Anonima

    Pinocchio’s cousin was off to visit him at his new job on the Hill.

  • te

    Wait, it’s the million MUPPET march? Well that’s just silly!

  • Anonymous

    Anne Hathaway’s acting in the upcoming Les Mis reads a bit stiff, she just isn’t able to bring that human element to the role. Above, Anne posing with a fan.

  • anonymous

    The Nightmare Before Inauguration Day

  • In the somewhat less popular sequel, V For Ventriloquist, Natalie Portman takes on the capital gains tax rate and teaches Joe Biden how to love again…

  • Anonymous

    Why yes I can give you a hand.

  • JT

    If you need a friend in Washington, get a life size figurine.

  • Dawn Smith

    “Don’t worry Monica, they’ll like you, and you won’t have to *say* anything….”

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