Dear PoPville – How do I get my Neighbor to Stop Peeing Off his Porch?

Dear PoPville,

I live in a great neighborhood here in DC. All my neighbors are phenomenal except for one. The guy who lives next to me is friendly enough on the surface, but has the disgusting habit of pissing off his front porch, mostly in the dead of night. Sometimes it’s directly into my yard, sometimes the yard on the other side of him. Sometimes he’s “courteous” enough to keep it on his lawn. The guy clearly has some issues and I feel bad for him, but this has got to stop.

At first, we ignored it. Then, I tried talking about it with him without actually referring to what it was he’s doing. I’ve also learned to immediately walk out to my front porch whenever he heads out at night (this usually makes him scurry inside). Finally, the other night I was smoking a cigarette out on the front porch and he just walked out and quietly pissed into my yard with me sitting there. I lost it, yelled at him and then called the cops. By the time they got there he had gone back inside and they couldn’t do anything based solely on my word.

What the hell do I do now?

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