Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

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Photo by PoPville flickr user Erinn Shirley

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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179 Comment

  • Was it just me, or was it traffic apocalypse today?

  • Rant: I woke up feeling extremely grumpy today. I’m not feeling well, which certainly doesn’t help.
    Rant: Baby Artie is still sick. It is amazing that such a little creature can produce so much snot.
    Rave: Baby Artie manages to be in a better mood in this morning than I did.
    Rave: Our furry overlord seems to be adjusting to her new digs. She has declared that the back of the couch is her throne.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I am always amazed at how much snot little kids and babies make. It’s impressive.

    • Have you tried the nose frieda? It’s very useful, especially after a steamy shower. Or even a steamy shower on its own. With mtpbaby’s allergy-related congestion, we were steaming him on a nightly basis for awhile just to help loosen everything up. Good luck and hope Baby Artie is feeling better soon!

      • For some reason, I tend to have more success with the bulb syringe than the nose frieda. I think I may be the only mom who has ever said that. We have a cool mist humidfier going and tonight I think I’m going to nurse him in the bathroom while a steamy shower it going. That seemed to help a lot during his last cold.

    • I like your “furry overlord” rave. 🙂

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: I had nightmares within nightmares last night. Not a good night’s sleep at all.
    Rave: my morning tea

    • houseintherear

      Dude me too! I had a dream that I was being slowly killed under the foot of a giant monster, then I “woke up” in that dream and realized I was being crushed by the wheel of a semi, then actually woke up and realized the dog was laying on my head… can’t shake it. Maybe it was a full moon..?

  • skj84

    Rave: Thank you to whoever recommended My Fitness Tracker! I started using it last week and its really illuminating to how many calories I’ve been eating. I started my healthy eating initiative this week. Bringing lunch everyday and cooking dinner at home! I did a major shopping trip at Trader Joe’s on Monday. I hope I can keep this up.
    Rave: Finally made use of the free office gym yesterday. I felt a bit intimidated, its not a huge space and there were quite a few people there. I’m not a seasoned gym goer. However I sucked it up and did cardio.
    Question: I’ve been focusing mostly on cardio exercises in my quest to drop a few pounds. Elliptical, Treadmill, Stationary bike. However a friend told me I won’t lose any weight if I stick to cardio and I should switch to weight lifting. I’m not opposed, I have no fear of getting buff. I am worried about further aggravating my reoccurring shoulder injury though. General consensus? Stick to what works for me? Mix it up?

    • I will also be watching for any responses to your question! I’ve been wondering the same thing. (And I can relate to your gym experience — I finally started going to my building’s gym this past weekend which is pretty small and there were 4 obviously super-fitness-oriented guys in there… and then me.)

      • If you’re trying to lose many lbs or get cardiovascular fitness, then cardio all the way. But those last few pounds aren’t coming off on the treadmill. Weights and diet are much more efficient than cardio…. even things like Pilates will see a better result.
        Trust me, every guy in there started out knowing nothing about weights… they read or watched something and figured it out.

    • I would start lifting. You can be careful when it comes to your shoulder/shoulder exercises. As someone who used to do straight cardio, I definitely saw the benefits once I got into a lifting routine. I could not do a pull up, struggled doing push ups, etc, but it’s amazing how much stronger I got and worked my way up to one pull up, then three, and so on. Not saying that should be your goal, but lifting is good for overall health, weight loss, etc.

    • topscallop

      Both strength training and cardio are important and can help you lose weight. Resistance training builds muscle, and muscle burns calories, meaning you’ll keep burning calories throughout the day. If you’re worried about an old injury maybe you could sign up for a few one-on-one sessions with a personal trainer to learn how best to safely lift weights, and then carry on by yourself. I also really like the group classes at my gym that are led by trainers who can tell people how to modify an exercise if they have an injury.

    • It take a lot of weight and a lot of time to get “buff.” Weightlifting really does help with burning calories more efficiently and getting toned. Why not add in a 20 minute session twice a week (upper body one day and lower body the other day) along with the cardio? You can adjust from there. Also I have found some short but killer free weight routines on Youtube that have really helped sculpt my arms, etc. It might be worth googling to get some inspiration.

    • I just posted about learning a weight lifting routine! See if you can get an introductory session at the YMCA or somewhere to have someone walk you through the weights and machines and learn what exercises work for you. I’ve had shoulder surgery (due to multiple dislocations) – and the trainer I worked with was really helpful at showing me where to limit my range of motion to protect my shoulders. Mixing it up will be good so that you have less pounding on your joints. It’s also been exciting for me and my husband to track progress in a more systematic way, if that appeals to you. Best of luck with everything!

    • That One Guy

      I’m just going to throw it out there, rock climbing works muscles and you get some cardio out of it.

    • skj84

      Thanks everyone! I’m going to keep cardio and add weights in. I just though it was a bit silly she diminished even attempting cardio at all. I’ll check out youtube for routines. What about aerobic classes? Or dance. How should I weave all this in?

      • I would lift more and do less cardio. Your lifting can incorporate cardio movements like weighted lunges, squats, and deadlifts to lift and sculpt your lower body and burpees, mountain climbers, planks, & pushups/benchpress or dips to firm your upper body and core. Cardio only burns fat while your are doing it. Lifting can burn fat for days if done effectively.

        If you were to take a class, I recommend a more crossfit/boxing style of class that engages various muscle groups as well as incorporate cardio.

        • topscallop

          I agree with this, I was at my fittest two years ago when I was doing HIIT classes regularly that combine cardio and strength training. This thread is inspiring me to get back into it!

          • +10000 I think HIIT is the most effective mix of cardio and weights, and with the right teacher & group it can also be the most fun. There are a bunch of studios in DC that offer a free first class. If I were you, I would try all of them for free – then even if you don’t have extra money to spend on a gym membership you can incorporate the things you did in the classes in your own workouts at your office gym. here are some suggestions to start: orangetheory fitness (mt. Vernon square), elevate dc (14th and Belmont NW), sweatbox dc (in the VIDA on U Street).

    • I agree with the other folks that you should try lifting a few times a week. If you can swing it, a few sessions with a personal trainer would probably be optimal, especially to discuss ways to protect your shoulder. Are you allowed to bring trainers to the gym? If that doesn’t work, could you ask your doc or a physical therapist for moves to use or avoid? For general weight training, the book “The New Rules of Lifting for Women” has some really good and straight-forward advice and workouts. (I think you are a woman, right?)

      • skj84

        Thanks! Its the office gym so no visitors. But I will check out “The New Rules of Lifting for Women”.

        • Great! I wouldn’t ditch cardio because that has its benefits too. And your cardio performance will probably improve because your legs and core will get stronger from lifting.

          • also agree with this. my half marathon time went down by a full 10 minutes after I started working out at a HIIT class 2-3x a week in a addition to running.

      • +1 I always recommend that book to other women. I read it about 8 years ago, started lifting, and never looked back! (I still do cardio too)

    • If you’re worried about an old injury, make sure that you warm up well before getting with the weights. And, even then, start with an initial set using just the bar or the lowest weight possible.
      .
      I distrust any either/or judgments. A balance of weights, cardio and maybe intervals will probably be the best for you, and will certainly help with weight loss. But diet is the most important.
      .
      No one ever recommends this, but you might invest in an inexpensive heart monitor (or see if your fitness tracker has one). As a former kind-of elite elder jock, I see a lot of people on cardio machines who seem to be (almost literally, sometimes) phoning it in, or blowing throug a workout in 10 minutes and getting off the bike. Getting into the right heartbeat range (70-80% of max) and staying there for 45 minutes or an hour is a pretty effective workout. You might have to work up to it, but you’ll be getting pretty high return for your effort.

      • “I distrust any either/or judgments. A balance of weights, cardio and maybe intervals will probably be the best for you, and will certainly help with weight loss. But diet is the most important.”
        .
        I agree with this. The old saying “abs are made in the kitchen” is hokey, but halfway true. Eating right isn’t sufficient all by itself, but neither is working out without changing your eating habits. My only other advice is do it now – if you think getting shape is difficult now, wait until turning 40 is a distant memory.

    • justinbc

      You can absolutely lift weights without getting buff. The best thing to do is constantly challenge your body through a change in routine. Just mix in some intervals with your cardio, 2 or 3 different types each day you do it, and you should see good results. I finally got around to playing with our rowing machine and freaking love it.

      • Agreed. If I do cardio on a machine, I never do straight cardio, I only do intervals. You get a better workout faster. Look into 10, 20, 30 intervals, there are a lot of helpful articles.

      • skj84

        I’ve been intrigued by rowing machines. My office gym doesn’t have one, but I’m hoping one one of the DC public fitness centers might.

        • If you need any hints for the rowing machine, I’m your guy! (Hint number 1: go to YouTube for technique advice. Not easy as easy to to it well/effectively as it first appears.

    • I think all of the comments so far on this thread are really good and helpful – especially the advice to mix cardio and strength training. One thing I would add is that if you aren’t already doing this – start thinking about ways to incorporate “exercise” (or at least movement) in your daily life. For example – I ride my bike to work most days, rather than taking metro. If that’s not an option for you, maybe consider leaving your house 15 minutes early and getting off the metro one stop before your office and walking the rest of the way. If you do that every day you’re adding in ~1 hour of exercise per week that you didn’t have before. Another example – take the stairs at your office rather than the elevator, at least once a day (even if you are on a high floor!). Good luck!

      • skj84

        I’m trying to figure out a balance. Up until last year I had decent metabolism and a 20 minute walk each way to the metro. So built in exercise. Now I only walk 3 blocks to metro and my metabolism has diminished greatly. I used to be the person who could eat what she wanted and not gain weight, and I’m not anymore. Its a bit of a shock to have to greatly adjust my diet. I can bike to work and have been trying to motivate myself to do so. And I’ve been walking rather than metroing if I can. I just need to be way more active than I used to and figure out diet.

    • Maybe start with some classes? I’ve found that barre classes are a good intro to build & strengthen some muscle — they are much more difficult than they look! But are not as stressful on a shoulder/back injury.

  • Rant: In such a bad mood. Feeling overwhelmed by work. Why does everything have to be due at the same time?!
    Rant: Trying really hard to get my feelings under control re: my roommie. I love her so much, and I’m watching parts of her life blow up and stress her out like crazy, but then she does things like leave dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is two inches away, and I know it’s not a big deal in the scheme of things but c’mon. And also trying not to feel annoyed when she brings guys back to the apartment. I just feel uncomfortable knowing that some person I’ve never met is hanging around while I’m sleeping. And then I feel mad at myself for begrudging someone their fun.
    Rave? Might get to see my brother tonight? Depends on his schedule, but hopefully it’ll work out.
    Rant: Really struggling with every aspect of anxiety at the moment. And maybe depression.

    • skj84

      I feel like dishes are the rock that everyone dies on! I will fully admit that I can get a bit lazy about placing dishes in the dishwasher, but I’m getting better. Or I wash my dishes immediately when I finish. I understand your discomfort of her bringing dudes home. Its not that she shouldn’t be having fun, but she should clear it with you first. How often does she bring guys home? Me and my roommates have met each others significant others, but still give a bit of a heads up before someone stays over.

      • Frequency varies. It’s rarely the same guy more than 2-3 times. Sometimes I have met him in passing, sometimes I’m meeting him for the first time when he’s leaving to head back to his place. Sometimes she gives me a heads up if she thinks I’m going to be at home, but almost never if it’s someone she picked up while out late at night. And then it’s just some strange guy spending the night in my house too! But I feel like it’s way too late to make a fuss now, since it’s been almost 2 years of me biting my tongue. Errggghhh. And again, I don’t want to be a spoil sport. I just don’t know how to make myself be more chill about strangers invading what is also my space.

      • justinbc

        I feel like this is something that women have to worry about more than men. I can’t imagine ever having to clear bringing a lady home with my roommate back when I was single. The thought wouldn’t even cross my mind. Have you ever had an issue with any of the guys that would make saying something necessary?

        • Never ever had to clear it. Sometimes if you were just in the house doing nothing, might even just step out for a bit just so your roomie can have the place all to himself and be comfortable. No need sitting in the house watching re-runs or while your roomie is entertaining, might as well go find something to do.

          • skj84

            I think the issue is less, having someone over during day time, or evening hours and more having a strange person stay overnight. I don’t care what my roommates do in their spare time or who they entertain, but I would be concerned with an absolute stranger being in the house while I’m sleeping.

          • @skj84 Truth be told, she should be worried too but apparently she is not according to what LBP.

            Maybe if LBP took the safety approach instead of the annoyed approach that might work better but find a way to not “shame” in the process if possible

          • Stacks, thanks for your imput – I’m just in a crappy mood overall, and I don’t in any way want to convey annoyance, I love my roomie and only want good things for her. I have no desire to “shame” her, which is why I haven’t said anything. It is honestly the safety thing that has gnawed at me, and since I’ve gone without saying anything at all, I don’t know if or how I could even bring it up now. While most of guys she’s brought home seem like decent people, there have been one or two that have made me distinctly uncomfortable, but I don’t know why. I just know I don’t want them unsupervised in my house!

          • justinbc

            skj, yeah, that’s what I meant more about women having to worry versus men. I just wouldn’t ever picture a random woman creeping in on me like I would imagine a guy might do. That’s obviously projecting on everyone’s part, but it’s not as if it never happens, too. Personally (and this might be a bit too utopian / optimistic), but I would like to think that if you trust your roommate, in general, then you should also convey that same trust to who she brings over. If not, then there are probably deeper issues there between the two of you.

          • Do you have a lock on your bedroom door? I know that doesn’t address the problem of having strangers in your place, but if you’ve decided to live with that rather than have it out with your roommate, then a lock might settle your anxiety a little.

        • no, I haven’t (besides accidentally seeing one of them naked when I walked out of my room to get my water glass in the kitchen), which is why I haven’t said anything. I don’t want my personal distrust of strangers to impinge on someone else having fun.

        • and yes, skj84 hit the nail on the head

    • Your roomie rant reminds me of a question I’ve been meaning to ask. (Sorry, I’m totally hijacking your rant. But I could use some perspective.)
      There’s a friend I adore, but she makes SUCH bad decisions. She asks my advice, I give it, she agrees that it’s good advice, then she ignores it and does what feels good in the moment. Then I get resentful having to listen to her moan about the fallout when I warned her well in advance that it was a bad decision and offered multiple alternatives.
      How do grownups deal with this??

      • HA! oh man, I am staying tuned because I need to know the answers to this because I don’t currently know how grownups deal with this!

      • That One Guy

        After a while the stop asking for your advice because they realize you are right. At least that’s the situation with my boss. He stopped sharing his family problems and asking me to go to lunch with him. It’s really a blessing.

      • Ugh I have a friend like this too. I don’t think I deal with it well. I definitely find myself snapping at her sometimes – I don’t want to hear about how bad of a decision something was when I *told* you it was a bad decision in the first place. Just wanted to say I totally empathize.

      • I am upfront with my friends in telling them they make poor decisions or decisions against the advice of me and/or others. I also have a huge, standing asterisk that goes with all my advice, rant sessions I listen to, etc. that if someone knowingly and/or repeatedly makes bad decisions, I will no longer listen to their complaints afterward or offer advice if they’re just going to ignore it.
        .
        My strongest characteristics are that I am a control freak, mama bear, have strong feelings about what’s “right” (and usually am; though I work every day to graciously admit when I am not), and am not afraid to voice my opinion on things. I am sure it rubs some people the wrong way, but even if it does – people always know where they stand with me. So in the case of your friend and if I were you, the next time she made a bad decision against my advice, I would tell her how you feel (your resentment and frustration) and that she can’t complain about bad decisions she knowingly made. Then wash your hands of that discussion.

      • I know Carolyn Hax has addressed this issue, but I don’t remember what her advice was. I _think_ it might’ve involved telling the friend up front that you support her and you’ll be there for her, but that you no longer want to give advice because she doesn’t take it.
        .
        (I might be misremembering that second part.)

      • justinbc

        My own advice, for habitual advice givers (whether solicited or not), is that your role is there as an advisor, not a guardian / judge. Think of an imaginary disclaimer going at the end of everything you say “advice is merely intended as suggestion, and you have no obligation to follow”.

      • 1) Stop “adoring” this friend so much. You”re basically seeing her as a wonderful person but resenting her for not being wonderful. Love your friend, but accept that she is flawed like everyone else. It doesn’t make her a bad person, just someone who makes bad decisions at this point in her life. But being a friend means seeing someone for exactly who they are.
        2) Stop giving her advice. Next time she asks, say you feel like it’s never useful so let’s talk about something else. It’s a cycle that you don’t enjoy so why keep doing it?

      • Tell her “I told you so!” every time it’s appropriate. Eventually she’ll stop soliciting your advice. This is how my mother cured me of asking her advice.
        .
        Wait, you asked how *adults* handle this, presumably in a non passive aggressive way? I dunno.

      • My life got a lot less stressful once I realized two important truths: (1) people don’t listen to advice unless they’re ready to take it; and (2) [subset] no one ever listens to advice about their love lives that they don’t want to hear. Ever. (I once pretended I was an exception, but I’m not.) People will live their lives in the way that feels best to them. All you can do as a friend is listen and provide your thoughts if asked, in the full knowledge that it won’t be followed unless it happens to align with what your friend already wants to do.

        I treat advice like a thought experiment these days, and it’s saved a ton of resentment. (So has realizing that I’m just as bad at taking advice as anyone else! But I try not to moan to the people who warned me that my bad decisions were bad ideas.)

      • I will tell my friends when I’ve reached my limit on a certain subject. I have one who would just go on and on about a guy who was bad for her. And I listened and listened and I gave advice where I could when she was looking for it.
        But after I had said everything twice (at least) and had nothing new to say and no patience with listening to the fallout or anxiety I told her I’m there for her, but I just can’t talk to her about this guy any more. It worked. We’re still wonderful friends.

      • This was my best friend/roommate in college to a tee. She CONSTANTLY made bad decisions but would come to me for advice. After learning the hard way I just had to be supportive and but not be a helicopter friend/critic/I told you so response. I would get more frustrated with her decisions than she would. Be an ear to listen but do not offer any advice, it falls on deaf ears.

      • I have told some friends that there are certain topics I don’t want to discuss with them because of similar scenarios.

    • Oh, the saga of the dishes. Having lived with many people in many different situations, I can honestly say that this is always, always an issue. Just last night I was irritated at having to wash the crab pot for crabs I didn’t even eat that had been in the sink “soaking” since Monday night. It seems that people just view dishes differently across the spectrum, whether they are random people, friends, family, or someone you are sleeping with.
      Regarding the friends brought back to the apartment, the way I have handled this is the past is locking my door, which may or may not give you any greater sense of security. This is another one of those living with people things that can be difficult.

      • yeah, but I’m usually asleep when friends are brought back to the house, so I can’t get up to lock my door. Plus, if someone wants to get in, all they need is a twist tie or bobby pin to pick the lock!

        • You need to voice your concerns. It is not unreasonable to say I’d prefer you go to back their place some times because seeing different dudes in the house every few days makes me uncomfortable.
          My roomie situation was different but no less uncomfortable: having friends coming in town on short notice (30 mins or so) expecting to stay over for days. I was very clear that such situations weren’t going to work and that I expected a day notice and asking if someone other than her bf was staying over. Sharing space doesn’t mean you have to be uncomfortable just so someone else can have fun. These guys have homes. She needs to go there too.

        • When I was renting in a group house, I had an issue with roommates continuously taking things from my room without asking like clothes, bath products, makeup, etc. When leaving passive-aggressive notes on the group message board failed to work (30-something me could have told 20-something me that would be the case), I installed a doorknob that had a lock and key on the door to my bedroom. Solved the problem and I never had to get angry with roommates for taking my stuff again- plus added bonus of extra safety at night. I simply switched it back to the original one when I moved out.

        • Any chance of a heads up text at least? I think that’s fair enough to ask for. Regarding the lock, honestly is someone wants to get in, they will regardless of the type of lock on the door. Is she going to be moving with you when you move to Silver Spring, or is this just an issue until you move?

          • Yeah, we’re moving to SS together, with her sister. Maybe it’s just time I talked to her honestly about how uncomfortable I am and see if maybe, at least some times, she could go back to the guy’s house instead.

          • Yes, definitely. She may honestly not know how uncomfortable it makes you, though I would think she would know you better than to assume it doesn’t? I think at minimum, a text or an introduction is fair and considerate, and yes, going back to their place should be considered.

          • She may also think you don’t notice, so she never thought to give the heads up.

          • Yep, definitely a good idea to bring up these issues (guys in the apartment, dishes in the sink) sooner rather than later, especially if you’re planning to move to Silver Spring together.

          • uuuuggggghhhh….I hate confrontation! How do I do this in a non-confrontational way after so long?

          • Just say “Hey, I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about a few things in the apartment and I’m hoping we can work something out. What do you think about [proposed solution] and [proposed solution]?” Or something like that. Lots of I statements. Doesn’t place any blame.

          • LBP, you seem to be assuming that this will be a hostile situation. Do you have reason to believe that’s true? Apart from the fact that you’ve let it simmer for so long that *you* are annoyed about it? Set aside your annoyance (at your roomie, at yourself, whatever) and just present it as something you’re concerned about. I get that it’s an awkward topic but it’s only “confrontational” if you come in with an attitude.

          • And you can acknowledge that you probably should’ve brought it up earlier, but you weren’t really sure how to address it.
            .
            Do it in person. If you’re having trouble getting a hold of her in person, schedule something by text or e-mail.
            .
            She doesn’t have friends who are PoPville readers who are likely to say, “Hey, ____! I think this is your roommate talking about you on PoPville!”, does she? 😉

          • Thanks FridayGirl and Anonymous. You’re right, I have no reason to assume that such a discussion would be hostile or confrontational, I’m just mad at myself for letting me get to the point of being annoyed and for avoiding slightly awkward discussions. I will try my best to just come at it from a neutral standpoint with lots of love and lots of “I” statements.

          • Thanks textdoc! and no, I don’t think so, re: Popville-reading friends. And even still, I’m really the one at fault, for waiting so long and not wanting to rock the boat, she’s a great person who I truly admire. Ultimately I think it has more to do with my anxiety/control issues that I’ve been trying to let go of but can see I’m not succeeding very well at.

          • The discussion will probably be easier than you think — at least that’s how this sort of thing has gone for me in the past, following much stressing beforehand.
            .
            As FG was recommending… try to go into it with clear ideas on what you’re hoping to achieve (fewer stayovers? having her text you re. a stayover, or e-mail if it’s after hours?).
            .
            Good luck!!

    • I’m sure I’ll get flamed for being judgmental and sound like a bunch of your parents, but not all behavior is OK, like the random hookups your roommate is doing. And telling her this is doing her a favor. Somehow we’ve conflated a rejection of traditional values to a celebratory expression of freewill, and that’s a sad shame. And if you think I’m wrong, just think of what you’d say to your kid sister or daughter if they were doining what your roomie is doing.

      • Oh? How about if one’s kid brother or son were doing this?

        • Same concern, just used sister and daughter because LBP’s roommate is female. But of course there’s never a bad time for a little gender-based outrage! Thanks for playing!

        • I understand the “equality” argument but women do not generally rape men. These strangers that are in her words “rarely the same guy more than 2-3 times” and “someone she picked up while out late at night” and “just some strange guy spending the night in my house” is potentially putting LBP at risk. LBP doesnt know these guys and if they are drunk/high or whatever and could potentially come on to her while her roommate is sleep or steal from the both.

          A strange woman at most might steal from you and sneak out but I dont think a woman would try to rape or kill anyone in a way that a male would. Maybe I am being bias but I agree with Steve the Parent and her room mate should be cautious

          • Agh! See now i feel like I’ve made my roommie out to be some crazy ho, when she’s totally not. I generally trust her judgment, though when you factor in alcohol, yes, most people’s judgments tend to slip. I think that’s where I get nervous. For the most part, I don’t think there’s anything nefarious about these guys, but yeah, sometimes I get nervous that they’ll come in and steal my shit while I’m asleep. I definitely don’t think any of them are going to rape or kill me, but of course, that teeny tiny itty-bitty possibility is almost impossible to completely forget .

          • Steve the Parent said nothing about the safety aspect — just that it wasn’t “OK” for LBP’s roommate to be having “random hookups.”

          • Texdoc, I was completely ignoring SteveTheParent and his very gender-biased opinions, my reply was aimed at Stacksp and his concerns.

          • LOL @ you both. Maybe I “thought” he was concerned about safety but maybe he was focused on other aspects of the situation.

          • Hey LBP! Oops; I was replying to StacksP, not to you. Yep, good choice to ignore Steve the Parent.
            .
            I wonder if maybe part of the reason your roomie is bringing guys home rather than going to their places is that she feels like maybe it’s safer for her if she’s on her own turf — with a roommate in the unit — rather than theirs.
            .
            In any event, I’m not sure if I can imagine a worse strategy for resolving an issue with one’s roommate than to lecture the roommate in the manner that Steve the Parent suggests.

          • Stacksp, I think you came at this from a position of concern for LBP. And yes — generally speaking, a woman has more to fear from a random man than a man has to fear from a random woman. (Though there are exceptions, like with that lawyer guy who was murdered in a D.C. hotel by a woman who’d set him up via Craigslist.)
            .
            But Steve the Parent seemed to mainly be concerned with criticizing LBP’s roommate for having “random hookups” — no mention of safety.

          • Gotcha, textdoc! And you may be right re: feeling safer on your own turf, which is something i want to factor in to any discussion we would have. Very good, and important, part.

          • Steve the parent may or may not harbor some gender bias, but the fact remains that women are far more often the victims of violence. Not sure why such an obvious fact needs to be spelled out for his point to be valid.
            If she doesn’t feel safe enough to go back to their places, then she probably shouldn’t let them know where she lives or expose you to their presence. The lesser of 2 evils is to not allow random guys to stay over.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Aside from questions about gender bias or sexual expression or whatever, I wouldn’t have a problem with a roommate having an actual friend or partner stay over, regardless of whether or not the stay was sexual in nature, but I absolutely would have a problem with having a roommate have somebody who they just met at few hours ago to spend the night. You want to have the guy you just met at a bar spend the night? How about I want to have the guy who I just met at the soup kitchen spend the night? You should have agreed-upon rules about overnight guests, and among those, I think no actual or virtual strangers is a legitimate one, if for no other reason for the personal safety and security of the other roommate.

      • So let me tell you how I, as an actual parent would respond in this situation; the same way I did above. If my daughter were the roomie, I would trust that she was engaging in safe, consensual adult activities and suggest she be a better roommate by gifting LBP with a sturdier lock and/or handle and some ear plugs if need me.
        There is nothing at all wrong with a man or a woman expressing themselves sexually. Man, Woman, or anything in between. Welcome to the 21st Century.

      • How is what two consenting adults do that has no effect on you any of your business? (Hint, it’s not.)

        • HaileUnlikely

          If you share a home and you don’t know the other person and hell your roommate basically doesn’t know the other person either, and your roommate is giving virtual strangers full access to your home, that isn’t any of your business? Ok then.

          • Sorry, I was directing this to Steve the Parent judging the morality of hookups, not LBPs safety issue. It’s so far down the threading is confusing.

  • Rave: Biking to work. It makes me so happy to be on my bike. Also, helping colleagues and friends choose bicycles and bike routes!
    Rave: Started a weight lifting routine yesterday – a trainer at the Y helped me and my husband learn the machines and free weights and walked us through a simple routine we can get into. Husband is excited to track our progress via an app. I’m excited to add a new way to workout to my repertoire and to feel/see a difference.
    Rant: Husband leaving for three weeks away.
    Rave: I have plans to explore all new barns to discover my place to ride in NYC, to keep up a good exercise schedule, read a bunch, and bingewatch some shows. Any suggestions…

  • Rant: I spend too much. Stupid stomach and liver.
    Rave: Looking at upcoming fun times with friends and loved ones.
    Revel: Had a cool experience yesterday. Was doing a preliminary phone interview on my lunch break yesterday, and missed a call. Checked the message after the interview, and it was another place I’d applied at, asking me for a phone interview. I’m taking this as a sign from the universe that I’m on the right track.

  • Rant: mtpkiddo was upset all day at school yesterday and needed to be picked up early. Mtpwife took the hit and had to stay up late to finish work as a result 🙁
    Rave: drop off at the bus went MUCH better this morning, so I am cautiously optimistic that her day will be better.
    Rave: the staff at mtpkiddo’s school has been so wonderful and responsive. Since the kids are bussed there and back, there’s not much chance to check in with teachers incidentally, so I am very grateful for the open email communication.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: Mosquito bites yesterday have put my body on heightened sensitivity an now I feel really itchy all over. FML.

  • Anonynon

    Got really good news yesterday, never give up. Your hard work will pay off

    • Hurray for you!

    • I kind of needed this right now. Feeling extremely exhausted and run down in my current job and applying/networking like crazy and NOTHING is panning out (been searching for a new job and working two jobs for almost a year). I’m going to keep plugging away though, thank you!!! 🙂

  • Query: Does anyone commute to King Street via transferring from the Red line, either at Gallery Place or Metro Center? Do you recommend the Blue or Yellow line? How badly is/was your commute affected by SafeTrack? I need to spend a week commuting to Alexandria but have some flexibility in choosing when.
    Rant: Metro hasn’t released updated SafeTrack schedule yet.

    • skj84

      I haven’t done the Redline to King Street ride in a while, but usually I would go for Yellow. Its less stops then getting on at Blue. My strategy was to check which train was coming sooner around Farragut North and make a gametime decision if I was getting off at Metro Center or Gallery place.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I take yellow. It’s a little faster than blue. Safe track wasn’t that bad, but it did add about 20-30 mins to my commute time.

      • 20-30! Yikes. It’s already about a 40-minute ride from my station, not including the walk there, to King Street so it’ll probably push it over a hour :/ Thanks for the tip on yellow. It definitely sounds like the way to go.

    • always take yellow. the blue line is the like step-child of the entire system. Right now trains are coming every 17 minutes during rush hour……. my rant this morning would be about my blue line commute.

  • Rave: First day as a suburban soccer mom yesterday went pretty good, even though it meant shuttling two kids to two different fields across town from each other with just 15 minutes of travel time in between and a very talkative 5 year old. Turns out Middle Anonachild’s natural “leadership skills” and scrapiness make her a pretty damn good soccer player. She’s never been cleared for sports before because of her skin condition, so this came as quite the surprise to me and her! Funny: Getting used to the way suburban dads dress. I have never seen so many sleeveless shirts and jorts worn unironically. Also, throwback ‘Color Me Bad’-esque sunglasses and goatees have apparently replaced thick-rimmed glasses and beards in the ‘burbs.
    Rave: Oldest Anonachild’s math homework taught me something about exponents last night. He had a problem he needed help with, and it was worded in a way that made me go “…huh?” However, I stifled my urge to rage against Common Core and took a sec to figure it out. After figuring it out together (and asking Siri to double check our reasoning), it actually completely made sense. I’ve always been a defender of Common Core techniques, and honestly this just solidified it for me. When we learned exponents in school (along with most other things in math) it was basically just memorization. I really appreciate teaching the process behind it as well.
    Rant: Slightly embarrassed that I stumbled on my fifth grader’s math homework.

    • gotryit

      I sometimes wish the schools ran an evening seminar – Common Core Math for Parents (so we don’t look stupid in front of our kids). I’m liking the ~1st-2nd grade stuff, but I wonder how I’ll hold up to 5th grade subjects.
      FWIW, I’m a “math person”.

      • It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea, but at the same time, sentiment against Common Core seems to run so high that I could also see something like that devolving into a bitch session. In my experience, as long as you keep up, it continues to makes sense. So if you are helping now, keep helping, and you will be able to help in 5th grade (perhaps with some minor assistance from the internet).

        • HaileUnlikely

          I like the idea behind common core math as well as the overall approach. In a lot of ways it is very similar to how I do math in my head when I don’t have a pencil and paper, calculator, computer, whatever available or when the calculation is not important enough to bother using special equipment for (e.g., keeping a rough running total of how much the groceries in my cart should cost, so if the cashier tells me my total is more than a couple dollars more than I think it’s supposed to be, I’ll want to double check my receipt). I’ve seen it implemented in ways that are overly rigid and infuriate me, though, and I honestly do not know whether that is a feature of common core or a failure by an individual teacher to understand how they’re supposed to teach and grade stuff (e.g., marking the kid wrong for depicting 3 x 5 as five sets of three rather than as three sets of five. If the kid knows that those are the same thing he should get extra credit, as that is not officially “taught” until later, not marked wrong).

      • My kids’ DC charter holds a math workshop for parents once a month.

    • Funny: Getting used to the way suburban dads dress. I have never seen so many sleeveless shirts and jorts worn unironically. Also, throwback ‘Color Me Bad’-esque sunglasses and goatees have apparently replaced thick-rimmed glasses and beards in the ‘burbs.
      .
      Your Maryland suburb is very, very different than mine. I would fall over in astonishment if one of my neighbors wore a (non-workout) sleeveless shirt, of jorts for any reason at all. Would never happen.
      .
      Rant: Slightly embarrassed that I stumbled on my fifth grader’s math homework.
      .
      This explains my error in lumping you in with Gen X recently – I was under the misimpression that your oldest kid was in late high school – 17 years old or so.

      • What gets me is the polo short tucked into the cargo shorts.

      • Perhaps fashion is a 95 split sort of thing. I agree, there are things that are worn here that I would have never seen in the city. For example (in addition to jorts and sleeveless shirts), the sheer amount of Under Armour worn as clothing is surprising. Cargo shorts and hiking boots in the middle of a mall are also quite common. It is quite unsettling, tbh. Even Littlest Anonachild had something to say about the sunglasses choice (“Mama, why is he wearing those little glasses? The sun will get in his eyes.” I mean, how does one respond to that?!)
        .
        My SO’s oldest is nearly 16, so this is probably where the confusion comes in! However, going back to that conversation, I was born in the very early ’80s, so I suppose by some standards I do fall in GenX. I will cling to this perception with all that is good in my soul.

        • Andie302

          Under Armour is huge in Baltimore and the surrounding areas because it originated there. Maybe that’s a contributing factor?

          • This is probably the case, and they support a hell of a lot of activities and initiates. Still though, the proportion of athletic gear in wardrobes seems disproportionately high… or maybe I’m just being overly judgmental. Meh.

          • If I’m in a context where I couldn’t care less about what other adults think of my attire (say, kid’s soccer practice), I’m wearing what I deem most comfortable for that particular activity. (In this case, something like soccer/sports shorts and some sort of techie-fabric shirt/jersey – which may or may not be marketed by UA.)
            .
            No need to break out shell cordovan and cashmere to watch my wee-lad run around in circles.

          • Agreed Anon… though I was speaking more broadly that just soccer practices (with the exception of the first examples I gave). There is apparently just a difference in style north of the Baltimore Beltway than in Petworth, I have found.

    • I just did a google image search of Jorts and all i can say is wow… Not sure I have seen suburban dads wearing these lol

      • GQ/WSJ/Times/etc have recently published articles excoriating grown men for wearing cargo shorts in public (rightfully so for the vast majority of contexts). Perhaps this is the fallout?

        • That’s a step in the wrong direction. On the continuum of fashion crimes, jorts are several orders of magnitude worse that cargo shorts.

          • You’re doing it wrong: picture Daisy Dukes with pockets flapping in the wind.

          • I think the worst of all these possible combination would be carpenter jorts, complete with a carbiner clip key ring hanging from the hammer holder.

          • Surely jeggings are worse than jorts?

          • Cargo shorts are damn useful. Kids have so much crap and dads need pockets to hold it all. Also very useful when doing home repairs…..again, need to hold crap.
            Jorts are not only ugly, but pretty useless.

          • Hmm…. I could see a pair of jeggings (particularly those god awful “pajama jeans” that were marketed a few years ago) being worse than cargo jorts.

          • Wait wait wait… now we are talking about cargo jorts? I thought jorts had been mentioned, and cargo shorts had been mentioned, but not one article of clothing combining the two.
            .
            For what it’s worth, I don’t really get the hate for jorts (jean shorts), cargo pants, or cargo shorts. I’m puzzled by the apparent popularity of sleeveless shirts for men in Anonamom’s new location, though. (Are we talking tank tops??)

          • I wouldn’t say tank top, more like a shirt with the sleeves cut off, but made that way… They may have a particular name but it escapes me

  • Countdown is on, getting married in 9 days! Someone was cutting onions when I went over my vows last night. Weather is looking alright, chance of rain, but hopefully nothing too crazy.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: Same as yesterday. So much going on at work. I feel like I’m barely keeping all the balls in the air.
    Rant: Mailed several postcards yesterday and forgot to put stamps on them. Grrr.