“The rat who thought I was an Uber driver…”


Thanks to JJ for sending at 12:30pm today.

Ed. Note: I would’ve crashed my car in about three seconds if this happened to me.

29 Comment

  • Is that a white rat?

  • My husband had one fall out of a tree on him. It sat there on his shoulder a minute, he said, as if it was were getting its bearings. I asked him if he screamed. He said it was “more of a strangled yelp, with involuntary dancing.”

    • Emmaleigh504


      • In the early days after I’d bought my house, Visiting Family Member was staying there and neglected to wheel the trash bins out to the alley while I was out of town on business.
        When I came back, I opened the lid of the trash bin and a rat jumped out, whacking into my forearm. It then went scurrying toward the alley.
        Fortunately it was winter and I was wearing my winter coat (which I promptly washed). After that, I started keeping bricks on the lids of my trash/recycling bins except when I wheeled them out to the alley for pickup. And I gave Visiting Family Member a stern talking-to.

        • With our new Vincent Gray Trash Cans, the lid serves mostly to keep the rats inside cozy and dry. Every single can I see has a rat-sized hole chewed through it somewhere.
          I’ve gotten resigned to kicking the can a few times, especially when it’s raining, before opening the lid. Then I step back until they scurry out. Thanks, Mayor Gray. And it didn’t even buy you the election, smh.

        • Emmaleigh504

          I would have contemplated amputating my arm. I did, in fact, contemplate amputating my foot when a rat ran into me. I thank all the pretty things that it was winter so I didn’t have sandals on. I threw the shoes away.

      • Emmaleigh’s response hurt my ears, but made me laugh! Exactly the kind of hyperbole the Sacred Heart rat cluster evokes from my SO.

        • What is the Sacred Heart rat cluster?

          • That little triangle “park” in front of Shrine of the Sacred Heart has an enormous number of rat burrows under the bushes that line the park. When you walk by at night in the warm months, you can hear them rustling around and see their beady little eyes poking out from underground.

            During the day in the warm months someone, apparently out to drive my SO mad, puts a bunch of breadcrumbs out for the pigeons. The rats are perfectly bold and will shamelessly share space and breadcrumbs with the pigeons like some diabolical perversion of the lion laying down with the lamb.

          • I had to LOL at “like some diabolical perversion of the lion laying down with the lamb.” 🙂

          • Is that triangle park not on the radar of Gerard Brown (the guy who’s in charge of rat control at the D.C. Department of Health)?

          • Emmaleigh504

            OH MY GOD! YOU CAN HEAR THEM?!

          • I heard something rustling last night in some overgrowth in my neighbor’s yard. I stopped and watched the area, and sure enough, I saw a little rat face poke out after a while.

          • Emmaleigh504

            y’all are killing me!

          • So, Emma, I bet you’d be really put-off with this:
            I was sitting outside my rowhouse apartment many a year ago smoking when the potted plant in our little brick yard started to shake. I watched it curiously (and from about 5′ away), and a little brown mouse jumped out.
            Not being afraid of the wildlife – even of the urban variety – we stared at each other for a few seconds, I said “hello little mousey, nice that you’re OUT HERE.” He scampered off. I assume the neighborhood owl (oh, yes, we had a neighborhood OWL…visually confirmed!) got him at some point.
            Of course, he would have had to die if inside…homie doesn’t share her house with wildlife. And my dog makes damn sure of that…he would straight up END a mouse…or rat…a few weeks back, a ball of his hair was blown out from under the dresser and around the floor by the fan in the middle of the night, and it kind of looked like a mouse in the dark. I choked out “kill it!” and he pounced. Lot of drama for nothing, but at least I know he’s got my back.

  • Afternoon Animal Fix?

  • Would love to know the neighborhood. Probably west of the Park. Or it’s a rat gentrifier – looks nothing like the Columbia Heights rats with which I’m far too familiar.

  • What a cutie! I would give him a lift.

  • I think rats are cute, haha. I wouldn’t go near one, as they’re dirty, but still cute.

  • This looks like a domesticated albino rat though, not like a DC wild rat.

  • careful–if it was on your car it may have been under your hood enjoying the warmth, and chewing wires and bringing other stuff in there.

  • #whitepeopleproblems

  • One time I went to change my oil and there were chicken bones all over the engine. Another time, my AC stopped working and when I took it in to get fixed, they said the filter was full of lollipop wrappers and sticks. I don’t eat lollipops…city livin’.

  • Aglets

    I would have gone out of my way to ferry that poor rat to safety but had it been a cockroach, I would have had to set my car on fire and walk away.

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