Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Beau Finley

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

251 Comment

  • RANT: My boyfriend broke up with me last night because, ultimately, he doesn’t want to get married and I do. In the end, I know it’s for the best, but I’m pretty heartbroken and barely functioning at work this morning.

    • Oh no! I am so sorry! Man, this is not a good month for relationships here. Make sure you treat yourself to something special today.

    • Short term mental illness is real after a long term relationship is over. I am so sorry to hear this. Do you have PTO? I would take the rest of the week off and get in a car, train, plane and get out of time. Thinking of you πŸ™‚

    • I’m sorry, break ups are never easy. At least you are able to move forward instead of continuing with someone who wants different things.

    • Sorry to hear this. Hang in there, and be gentle to yourself.

    • Solidarity hugs. We’re doing the right thing for ourselves and if it takes being upset for a little while, so be it.

    • Aw I’m sorry. It hurts so much now but you’re right, it is for the best. This will give you the opportunity to find someone who wants the same things out of life as you! I also second the suggestions above to go do something for yourself this week/weekend. Or have a night out with friends!

    • So very sorry. Please be really kind and compassionate to yourself. Do you have some good friends in the city with whom you can just curl up on the couch and be sad?

    • So sorry to hear about this! Take care of yourself. Hugs.

    • πŸ™ I’m so sorry. Don’t feel bad about being heartbroken for a while – even if you know it’s for the best it can still hurt for a while. Hope you can keep yourself busy with good friends and some quality you-time.

    • I”m so sorry about this. Seems like a lot of us in PoP are going through some tough relationship times. We’re here for you. Breakups mess me up at work too. I find that busying myself with books, friends, and really fun workouts and activities helps BUT after a good period of wallowing.

    • I would say I’m sad for you, but I’m not. This situation hurts now, but you’ll come to realize it’s the best thing that could happen. You don’t want to end being together for 10 years only to realize he really didn’t want to get married.
      Treat yourself & the wound will heal in time.

    • That is so tough. I’m so sorry.

    • I’m so sorry. I’m going through a breakup now too and just about a week in. It sucks! It’s emotionally and even physically painful. Even when I don’t want to, I keep busy with friends and I’ve given myself small projects to keep myself busy, but that don’t require a lot of thought or energy. I also wrote him a letter that I’ll never send to get out all the things I never said. I’m planning to write a list of reasons why the breakup was in my best interest too but I’ve been slacking on that because I still want to hold out hope we’ll get back together.
      What I can say is that time does make you feel better. This week is so much better than last week. Also, don’t beat yourself up for whatever you’re feeling and thinking. It may not always be the most productive thing to spend time wishing things were different, but it’s natural and you need to process those thoughts and find a way to deal with them. Again, I’m so sorry.

    • This happened to me a while ago, except I was the one who walked away. It is hard thing to do when you care about each other in the moment but can see clear issues in the future…basically deciding to hurt now instead of later. Just sucks. Sorry that you have to go through it.

  • Rave: Plans after work today and tomorrow!
    Rant: Have to start reading for classes this weekend. I was so over grad school only a semester after I started two years ago. If I can make it through this year without having a meltdown it’ll be a miracle.
    Rant: Guy I went on first date with Monday asked me to hang out Tuesday (nope, busy) and last night he messaged me at 8:30pm and asked if he could come hang out at my place. NO! It’s looking like there’s not going to be a second date here. Suggestions on handling over-eager dates welcome.

    • Asked on same-evening notice if he could “hang out” at your place? That sounds like a booty call.

      • That’s what I thought immediately. I’m thinking I should just tell him this isn’t going to work. That’s not even acceptable to me on a weeknight once I’ve been on 2 or 3 dates with someone, tbh.

      • The only way that could have been more obvious is if he asked to “Netflix and chill”.
        FridayGirl, the struggle is real to find a decent guy in this city! My only advice in regards to over-eager daters is to be firm, and to offer up alternatives, so “sorry I have plans tomorrow, how about we meet up on Saturday” or whatever. If it were me, I would have called out the late request for a home visit too. Being casual or having casual sex is perfectly ok as long as both parties are aware that’s what it is and are ok with it… the way I see it, don’t date me if all you’re looking for is sex.

    • Sounds like he’s trying to make you a booty call. I think saying no and fading is perfectly fine here, but you could say I think we’re looking for different things.

    • Yikes. So not excited to reenter the dating world with stories like these.

    • Late day rant: The two events I was looking forward to tonight and tomorrow I really do not want to go to anymore. I am in a bad mood and the logistics of them is making me angry.

  • Rant: So beyond annoyed with this reaction I keep having to bites or a reaction to something. I was doing fine for awhile (after I got cellulitis from a bite!!), but then Tuesday night I had a reaction on my finger. It was fine yesterday–just a little swollen and itchy, but last night and this morning it was sooo swollen and itchy. It made me think I had cellulitis again, but ice has really helped. Good news, I think I finally figured it out though–carpet beetle reaction. Bad news, I called pest control and they said what I have been doing is really all I can do…lots of vacuuming, cleaning, etc. Ughhhh, my reaction to this is like no other so I’d really like to eradicate it. Any other ideas? (Also, before someone says bed bugs we’ve had the house checked for them twice and nada.)
    Rave: The weather this week!!!

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: So much stuff in my life is just really stupid and stressful right now.
    Rave: Little Magnolia is a very empathetic kitty.
    Rave: Middle Zelda is 16 today!

  • Rant: No rest last night – had to clear out husband’s office and tote all of his work stuff to our house…
    Rave: Shake Shack!
    Rant: Not in a good head space right now. Too many decisions, too many worries, too much to do.
    Rant: Broker from NYC apartment didn’t receive our deposit/certified check – despite me using the exact address given and USPS delivering it on time.
    Rave: Movie showing of Selma at MLK Memorial tonight. Hope I can get my butt there.

  • Rant: New Target policy requiring customers to place the money in clerks’ hands.

    I was at the Guest Services at Target when the item I was purchasing was a little more than expected. I placed the money I had at hand on the counter and got the rest from my pocket. The clerk said I needed to place the money in her hand. Normally I would give payment in their hands but I didn’t know it was a policy.

    • Are you sure it was a policy and not just the clerk?

    • I’d be very very surprised if that was actually a store policy – it doesn’t make any sense. I bet you just had a clerk with attitude.

      • This! I’ve experienced this issue from both the customer and the cashier point of view. Some people find it extremely disrespectful not to actually hand them money. Why? I have no idea but I’ve done the whole put down some money to dig the rest out of my bag and had a cashier get an attitude. When I was a cashier in high school a customer asked me to receive a large amount of change back in small denominations (which we were by policy supposed to count out in front of them so no one can pull a fast one). I counted out the $1 bills into piles of 10 dollars so that I could count out the next piece and she got all huffy when I didn’t place them directly in her hand. My conclusion: people are weird and there is nothing you or I can do about it.

        • These people would have a hard time in France, for example, where the norm is to set the money down on the counter, both directions. There’s often a little divot built in for the purpose.

        • Blithe

          One possible answer to your “Why?”: a few decades ago, it was not uncommon for white store clerks to refuse to hand money to or take money from the hands of black customers, out of fear that their hands might touch. If someone — on either side of the transaction — seemed to be going out of his/her way to avoid touching someone else’s hand, it could be viewed as a sign of extreme disrespect. For some, this generalized to a sense that “if you want my money, you should take it from my hand”. People are indeed weird, and there is not much that we can do about it — but sometimes there is a lot of history behind the weird.

    • I can’t imagine how that makes sense from a loss prevention standpoint. If anything, it seems like it’s in everybody’s interest if the cameras can watch you place the money down, just like a casino.

      • Allison

        Speculation: Maybe it’s less about fear of the customer stealing, but fear of the clerk stealing (unfortunately very common.) Scenario: customer places money on counter, goes into pocket to dig for more. While customer is looking at his pocket, clerk takes money and puts it in their own pocket. Customer looks up, money is gone. “What happened to the money I just put on the counter?” “You didn’t put any money on the counter.” Befuddled customer then digs for more cash in pocket to pay full price for item. Clerk walks away richer.

  • Rant: I was doing so well with not looking at The Boy’s FB profile since he ended things with me about a month ago as he “can’t do relationships” and “needs to work on himself for a while”, and then yesterday, I looked (as he commented on my wall about someone’s post and I was curious). His “ex” posted a comment on his page and her photo was the two of them. And then I looked at her page, which is basically all photos of the two of them. A lot of the photos were when I was with him as well. I am furious but I am not sure if I am more angry with myself, or with The Boy. Or what to do with the anger.

    Rave: But I have great friends who rallied around me immediately, and we had many drinks and they were so kind to me.

    Rave: No plans tonight so I can go home and regroup somehow.

    • Ugh! Men! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m glad you were able to meet with friends!
      (And men, apologies, I am sure there are women who are worth complaining about, too!)

    • Hugs to you. My ex did something similar – said he couldn’t handle a relationship and needed to work on himself blah blah blah, and then a few months later I find out he’s seeing someone else (which, to be fair, is a lot better than a month later – but still feels like a kick to the gut). Definitely recommend unfriending him if you haven’t already. The temptation to look is strong though, I know. =/
      Glad you have great friends there for you, and at least you’ve been having some good dates recently! I’m sure you’ll find someone who will be much better for you. Hang in there!

    • Ugh. This is why being friends after a break up is hard. There are two ways of looking at it – one, he told you he wasn’t ready for a relationship because it was his easiest “get out of jail free card” and the reality is just isn’t ready for a relationship that doesn’t involve his ex, or two, she’s not over him and the pics are an effort to rekindle. Keep in mind that unless you and his ex are friends, the only pics you will see on her page are ones that he is tagged in, so it may look like there are a lot more than there really are. However, given the lingering feelings, I think it would be best for you to step away from him completely. You will just continue down that road and in the end you are just hurting yourself (take this from someone who has totally BTDT got the tshirt and had to learn to burn that shit and move on)

      • This is good advice. In my experience, no good has come from post-breakup contact until I or they were well over the pain. There’s too much of a chance that you’re going to see something that will make it hurt more. I’m sorry.

    • De-friend. What’s the point of knowing all this stuff? It will bring nothing but drama and stress into your life.
      Don’t be a masochist.

      • Yeah, defriending is the plan. I was just completely blindsided.
        I’m hopeful to find the right guy — I will keep trying. But I’m giving myself a break tonight. πŸ™‚

    • hammers

      I’m fully a fan of the motto “living well is the best revenge.” If you can channel the rage into something that helps you out, then it’s a win win for you, and eventually you’ll start to live well not out of spite but it will be the new normal.. It’s hard not to look back at people in our past though, I’m completely over my ex but I noticed recently he’s in grad school and has been excercising and I felt that twinge of jealousy- so I know I need to focus on making myself better and use that as motivation for now until I decide to do it for my own reasons.

  • Rant- My lawfirm is dissolving after 60 years. Monday is my last day(I’ve been here for 14 years) and I still haven’t found a job. Freaking out!!!

  • I am looking for a property manager. Anybody have any feedback on Gordon James, Nomadic, Nest, or Scout Properties or any other recs? Would love some feedback.

    • My association uses Scout. They’ve been good and reasonably priced.
      I use citylights for my rental. They suck for association management, but they’ve been excellent for my rental, and my tenants speak highly of them.

    • We used Nomadic to handle our house rental while we lived abroad 5 years. They found us good tenants who paid rent and didn’t leave the house a wreck! The house wasn’t as clean as I would have liked when we came back, but eh. They also managed securing and renewing the business license with DC – which saved us the hassle.

      Just heard some feedback about Nest last night from a tenant who said they weren’t as responsive as they could have been to come urgent maintenance issues. This resulted in after-hours/weekend charges when the technician was finally engaged.

  • Lovely ladies of Popville:

    I have a hair appointment this weekend- I haven’t dyed it for ages but finally made an appointment after acknowledging that I have a few too many stark white strands to let slide. I have light brown hair, mildly gingery — any tips for what approach to take? Single process vs. highlights? Maybe lowlights?? I hate going to the salon so something low maintenance is a bonus. Also not looking for a drastic shift, just something to add a little oomph and hide the grays. Thanks much!

    • If you want something low maintenance, highlights and/or lowlights are the way to go. They blend in more naturally with your existing color and there is less of a hard “root line” when they grow out. So you can take more time between visits.

    • I would recommend going in for a consultation first if you haven’t had your hair done and colored in a while before going in for an appointment to get it done that day.

    • anonymouse_dianne

      I do low lights and leave a little streak of grey near my part. They do fade to natural looking instead of leaving grey “roots”. I’m going on Saturday to PR @ Partners.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: the new metro cars are really nice! That was a nice and refreshing experience
    Rant: City office that doesn’t allow allen key set inside? I showed the guard that it’s just hex keys, no blades, but still… Now my keys are waiting for me outside, under a rock, in silence…
    Rantve: I’m not the most social person in the world, and I’m very private about my personal life. But every once in a while I talk to someone, and that allows me to have a different perspective about what’s really going on. That happened last night.

  • Rant: got sick while on vacation.
    Rant: will probably still have to claim annual leave instead of sick leave for the sake of optics.
    Rave: at least I’m not at work.

    • I would be surprised if any workplace would let you claim sick leave if you get sick while you’re on vacation.

    • Does anyone see what goes on your time sheet other than your boss? If not I would check with him/her and see if it’s okay to use sick time.
      Some people will always be in other people’s business, but if the ones that matter are on board, who cares?

    • Huh, it’s never even occurred to me to do that, and I always get sick on vacation. Not that I get sick days anymore.

    • The only time I switched was when I had to cancel my vacation because I was sick. I got strep throat the Saturday before my Sunday flight, so I cancelled the trip and emailed my boss to ask to switch to sick leave. I was actually out longer than my original leave because immediately after the strep, I got the flu. Fun stuff.

  • skj84

    Rave: working on a major project at work! Busy, busy.

    Rant: still shocked about the murder of the news staff yesterday. And absolutely appalled at people who are sharing the videos of the murders. I asked someone to take the vids of thier Facebook yesterday. I think I got unfriended instead.

    • The vid is gruesome, but I never think it’s a good idea to tell someone what to put on their pages. You can hide posts on your timeline.

      • Agree with this. What you’re basically saying is that not only don’t you want to see the video, you think no one else should either, and the person acted inappropriately for posting it. While that may be the way you feel, you can’t be surprised if, when you tell someone that, they get annoyed with you.

        • I’m ok saying that no one should want to see this video. A person who wants to watch another person get murdered is not someone I want for my friend. It’s no different than the apocryphal snuff films. It indicates a fascination with cruelty and suffering. I can’t think of a way that anyone except a forensic scientist can admit to watching this video and not invite harshly negative judgment from me.
          With all the class and grace that we’ve come to expect from Real Amurrica, the video is racking up massive hits (and massive revenue) for the outlets that post it.

          • That’s fine, and you’re entitled to your opinion. And you’re entitled to scold people who don’t agree with you, I suppose. But self-righteous behavior rarely is without consequence. In this case, skj84 was unfriended, which is an entirely foreseeable consequence of publicly scolding someone for their decisions.

          • No argument here!
            A minor quibble though: Watching, much less sharing, that video is less about someone’s “decisions,” and more about their massive failings as a decent human.

      • skj84

        It’s not for my benefit, but out of respect for the victims and their families. It’s just distasteful. You’re right that I can’t control what other people post on their own walls. Ultimately they are within rights to post whatever they want. But I hope my post helps them understand what bad taste it is to share those vids.

        • I don’t know — if they don’t understand from the beginning that it’s in poor taste, I don’t think that anyone pointing it out to them later is going to result in a lightbulb moment.

        • Let me ask: did you pm them to ask or post on their wall?

          • skj84

            Just in the comments of the post. I said: May I ask if you could take down this video? Out of respect for the reporters and their families? I was echoing what most of the news agencies have been posting as well. For what it’s worth I never ask people to take down posts. And I’ve seen some doozies.

          • I figured that’s why they unfriended you. I’ve had it done to me, and I find it really rude. If you’re just parroting other people, why not talk to them privately? Putting people on blast is not a good idea, imo.

          • HaileUnlikely

            How did it come to be that on Facebook people can post whatever the heck they want, no matter how offensive it may be, and that’s cool. But if you communicate offense to said content in any way other than whispering it as privately as possible, now that’s crossing a line?

        • hammers

          I think it was brave. good for you skj

  • Rant/Rave: Anyone have any experience adding soundproofing between you and your neighbor (in the walls not ceiling/floor)? Specifically spray foam insulation (does it work/not work? Cost? etc?)


    • HaileUnlikely

      No, but unless your neighbors make lots of noise on purpose (e.g., if a band practices there), if you hear enough noise to be thinking about soundproofing, you might have some cracks in the firewall between the houses, and regardless of noise considerations, you might want to look into that. I occasionally hear my [very large] neighbor’s footsteps on the stairs, but no other neighbor sounds from inside of the house.

      • I’m not sure what is between the walls… I’m not in a house, I’m a townhouse style condo, and I’m pretty sure there’s just air between us! I definitely hear footsteps but when It’s quiet enough, I can hear my neighbor yawn, cough, talk on phone… I have to listen to other things too, and I’m getting a little sick of it.

        • If you’re in a townhouse-style condo, that probably means it’s just drywall between you and your neighbors.

          • You might also need permission from the condo board and/or management company if you’re doing stuff that involves going into the walls.

          • You definitely need to ask, but maybe you can get them to pay for some or all.

    • Accountering

      Look into Roxul Safe ‘N Sound. Much better than what you are talking about. It is specifically for fireproofing and soundproofing. Much denser than normal insulation.
      It costs about $1/sq foot for each 1.5 inches of depth.

      • Thanks! So I would need to remove all the drywall to install that rather than just spray in? I do like the idea of it being sound and fireproof though. I’ll look more into this thanks!

        • Accountering

          So you can’t really spray in insulation either. To do spray in insulation, you are going to have to remove the drywall either way. I suppose you could do foam insulation like in an attic, and cut a hole between each joist, but you aren’t going to fill all the space, so will see decreased effectiveness. At that point you have a ton of holes, patching, priming, and painting anways. This is one of those projects that if you decide to do, I would do it right. That means taking down all the drywall and doing Roxul in there 100%. Shouldn’t be THAT difficult of a project, and then you just put the drywall back up, finish, prime and paint.

  • Rant: Toothpaste stain on my shirt.
    Rant: I don’t know what I’m doing on a report for work and I’m afraid to ask my boss for direction. I already did that once and got a vague answer. I don’t want him to think that I’m incompetent.
    Rave: Walked everyday this week so far.
    Rave: will be going out of town for Labor Day weekend and will see my family.

    • Vague answers are often the result of vague questions. Not saying you weren’t specific enough in your first attempt, but questions that are less than explicit can feel like asking someone else to do your work for you. So something like “I’m thinking of taking *this* direction. If you agree that’s a good approach, can we discuss these metrics and this source and the value of interviewing these two researchers?”

  • Rant: Penultimate day of pseudo-SAHM finds me conquering the massive mountain of laundry. I’m kinda sad that I’ll be back to work Monday since I have really enjoyed being home with the kids, but I am comforted in the knowledge that I am much happier working outside the home.
    Rant: Questioning some of the decisions made by my kids’ school. I have loved their school since we started there, however, I’m not too happy with some of the decisions this year. For the first time, i am really understanding the thought process behind the every year lottery players.
    Rant: The uncertainty of knowing where we will be next year. I am a super long term planner, and it bugs me not knowing with certainty where we will be this time next year (MD? If we stay here so we play the lottery?)
    Rave: it is a super gorgeous day and I’m having lunch with a friend – yay!

    • Other than the hassle, is there any downsize to doing the lottery thing in case you’re here? That way you’re covered if you stay, but just give the spot(s) to someone else if you move. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

      • I suppose the only downside is trying get all three kids in the same school, which would be a challenge because I don’t believe we would get sibling preference until one is actually enrolled. Another aspect is that my youngest two do bilingual and the oldest does not, so finding a school that would be a good fit for all of them might be tough. Plus just doing the lottery is stressful. I really love their school, and hopefully the issues are just down to being a year of transition (new principal, significant staff turnover, etc), so really I should just calm down and be patient! But the fact is, we have a lot of choice in this city for education, and I think that makes families more inclined to jump ship when things get bumpy.

  • Rave: The magic of tidying up – not so much life changing but I found the long-misplaced mate to my favorite pair of earrings. Also “found” in my 2nd closet (in plain sight, but in a garment bag) a number of nice summer shirts and jackets.
    Rave: Collective nouns – I love my charm of hummingbirds. Also my band of blue jays and flutter of swallowtail butterflies
    Rant: Not ready for the summer to be over

  • Rave: This weather–glorious
    Rant: $200 estimate for silver bracelet repair. It may actually be appropriate, but I want to get another estimate. I took it to a little place in Silver Spring. Other suggestions for a repair estimate?

    • Quotia Zelda

      I had some jewelry repaired at Shah and Shah recently. They did a great job ( a couple of the repairs were complicated), and the total for 5 pieces was under $300.

      • I keep meaning to drop off two pieces to this place for an estimate but I was a little worried they would be super pricey. This sounds totally reasonable. I’m bumping up the urgency on my mental list! πŸ™‚

      • Thanks for the tip, QZ…I remember reading about this place on PoP, but wasn’t sure about the name. I’ll check it out.

    • saf

      I have had good repair work done at Treasure Trove at 13th and G NW

  • Rant/revel: We got the babies yesterday. They’re wonderful but wow, the first day is exhausting! I’m back to going to sleep at 9pm and waking up at 530.

  • emvee

    Rave: For those of you who gave input earlier in the week, I’m making Ottolenghi’s chicken with caramelized onions from his Jerusalem cookbook for the parents. I’m excited because it’s always a hit. For those who are curious, you can find it on the NY Times cooking site.
    Rave/Rant: I reached out to a lot of long-lost friends in Roanoke after yesterday’s shooting. It was so nice to catch up with them and know everyone is safe, albeit grieving. Thank goodness for Facetime.

  • Bear

    Rave: This weather! So nice.
    Rave: We’ve tackled a lot of wedding tasks over the last week…feeling much less overwhelmed than I had been!
    Rant: My boss is trying to assign multiple proposals to me that are due out when I’ll be on leave for the wedding and honeymoon. Despite the fact that I have reminded him multiple times when I’ll be gone.
    Rave: Having the ability to say no.

  • Pregnant. Don’t want to be. Haven’t told my husband yet, because I don’t know how to break the news without crying. Already have a child (adopted) and really don’t want another…

    Struggling to think of a rave right now. But just had to write this somewhere to get it off of my chest, since I haven’t told anyone yet.

    • Oh my goodness. That sounds really hard. Do you have a friend who could be a neutral sounding board to let you talk things out? Sometimes conversations can help clarify what you’re thinking and feeling. Sending many hugs. One way or another, it WILL be ok.

      • Thanks to you both. Unfortunately, I don’t.. I’m an only child, no close friends to speak of, other than my husband. Just acquaintances. I can’t talk with my parents, because all they’d want is to celebrate about having another grandkid. Plus, I’m 35. I’m too old. I love my kid, but I just firmly believe in adoption and frankly, you couldn’t pay me to be pregnant and have my own. I never thought it’d happen. Thank you for the support on this board. πŸ™‚ This helps.

        • I know this will get ire from the masses, but I would not put myself through that experience, would not tell hubby, and would invest in bc, iud, etc thereafter. Maybe he’ll agree, maybe he won’t, but you have to make the best choice for you ultimately. Not telling him avoids the struggle and resentment if you have it to make him happy.

          • this is horrible advice.

          • I disagree on keeping it secret from the other parent. He’s your only friend, you say. Don’t jeopardize that with a giant horrible secret that you’ll have to take to your grave. You’ll feel so isolated. The only way is honesty.
            And yes, he might want to keep the baby. This is a decision you make together, because marriage. And if he’s of the same mind, you’ll have his support as you go through it. You can’t be married and keep something like this from your partner because it’s “best for you.” Not and expect your marriage to be worth anything down the road.

          • “this is horrible advice.”
            No, it’s not. We have no idea what OP’s husband is like or how he would react. There’s no harm in Anon Spock laying out this option for the OP. I guarantee that there are hundreds of married women in the U.S. struggling with a similar dilemma right now at this very moment.
            PS – more than 60% of abortions are terminated by women who already have a child. Digest that fact.

          • Pablo Raw

            Anon Spock, I usually agree with you but not this time. (No ire though πŸ˜‰ )
            I think it’s a shared responsibility but she is the one who is going to carry (or not) the baby for 9 months and give birth (or not). So I’d say they need to talk about it.

          • Accountering

            Disagree with above. This is simply advice, that could be relevant to the situation. Only the OP knows her husband on this level, and know if this is good or bad advice.

          • Accountering

            To clarify, I disagree with anon stating “this is horrible advice.” It *could* be horrible advice, or it could be right on point, but that comes down to how well OP knows her husband.

          • Emmaleigh504

            wdc, abortion doesn’t have to be “a giant horrible secret”, it can be just a bump in the road or a huge relief or just a plain old secret.

          • @Emile, no, of course it doesn’t have to be a huge giant secret. But I agree with WDC that in this context – a marriage where there already is a child – it’s a pretty big deal.

          • Emmaleigh504

            @dcd it was the horrible part I did not agree with. not all secrets are bad, and I really don’t feel like there’s enough info here to judge whether it would be good bad or neutral

          • @Emilie–I’m with dcd &wdc on this one. Doesn’t have to be a “big huge secret” from the rest of the world, but if the marriage is otherwise open/stable/etc, it could be awfully lonely to not share that information and hopefully be able to make the decision together. If that isn’t the nature of the relationship, it might be another thing to work on. But I didn’t get the sense from her post–just that she’s totally reeling and not ready to have a conversation who is similarly invested in the outcome, hence the suggestion for a neutral sounding board to sort through thoughts/emotions.
            @anon.–I hope you’re able to reach out to someone, and if not, perhaps journaling would help. I imagine there’s a whole lot of thoughts, feelings, and fears that you’re trying to digest, and it might help you sort through where you are.

          • Emilie, having had an abortion is not a horrible secret, or doesn’t have to be. But it’s a GIANT horrible thing to keep the husband in the dark about the fate of his potential progeny.
            (One night stands are a different story. A man who impregnates a woman outside of a relationship doesn’t get a say, IMO.)

        • I’m a complete stranger, obviously, but if you don’t have anyone to talk to & would like someone–feel free to contact PoP for my email and I can be a sounding board if you’d like. Full disclosure: I’m 7mo pregnant and also 35ish–however, I also firmly believe that people need to do what’s right for them and harbor no judgement for those with different choices/priorities.

        • Talk with a family planning counselor.
          Full disclosure:
          I’m a man and totally agree with Anon Spock above. Do what is best for you. If you are dead set against having a child, then terminate the pregnancy.
          Secondly, it’s your choice to tell your husband….or not. Only you know (1.) how he will react and (2.) if he will support your decision. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

          • Accountering

            I am going to give a reluctant +1 to this. I think you should discuss this with your husband, but thats because I think partners should be able to share everything with each other. If that is not the case here, I think you need to make the decision that is best for you. Don’t let some sort of societal obligation force you into something you blatantly do not want to do.

          • +1 to Accountering’s 12:24 post.

          • I partially agree with this. I absolutely agree that if the husband will be abusive or otherwise react poorly, then there’s no need (of reason) to tell him. I didn’t get that from OP’s post, though, a suspicion that he will disagree with OP’s initial inclination isn’t, in my mind, a reason to not tell him. While this ultimately is OP’s decision, it also is a family matter that, absent exceptional circumstances, should be discussed as a family. I realize this is an idealized version of how things should be, and that if OP is dead set against having any other kids discussion could be futile, contentious, and lead to ongoing strife. But leaving aside any discussion of the “father’s” rights, OP has to assume that her husband might find out about this at some point, and the toll it might take on their relationship if that happens. Truly not a pleasant situation, OP, and I wish you the best.

      • See info below on finding a therapist? Or get in touch with The Women’s Center; they may have a counselor who could see you on short notice.
        Sending you hugs and support ~

        • I like this idea. The OP might also want to bring up with a therapist the fact that her husband is her only close friend. IMO, that’s not a good situation to be in and the OP would benefit from having at least one close friend other than her husband, no matter what happens with this particular situation.

    • I second Emilie on the hugs.

    • Hugs, and best of luck with whatever course of action you decide to pursue.

    • I’m sorry. I hope that you get the support you need, whichever decision you make.

    • saf

      If you want someone to talk to, get my email from PoP.

      (Backstory – I’ve been there. And we don’t have kids and won’t have kids.)

    • Wow, so tough. Hope it works out for you.

    • You don’t have to have a baby if you don’t want to, and don’t let anyone talk you into it. Wouldn’t be good for a the child, anyway, if you don’t want it. No judgment on not wanting it. It is your body, you have rights about what you do with it.

      If you have the sort of husband you can talk to about this, then do. If you fear you don’t and that he will want to pressure you into having the child, and not be OK with it being your decision not to have the child (only you can gauge your relationship), then consider not telling him, having an abortion and then getting reliable birth control.

      Though any birth control can fail. My oldest nephew was conceived with an IUD in place. (He’s fine – embryo didn’t implant near the IUD, so they could remove the IUD.) Which is why you need to talk to your husband about plans for unwanted pregnancies, whatever you do now, so you can figure out how he feels/thinks about it, as it could happen again. Maybe you already know what he thinks. If so, and you know it isn’t OK with him for you to decide, do what you need to do and don’t tell him – it isn’t HIS body. If you have a relationship where he respects your bodily integrity, then talk to him soon. If you don’t know, that’s a tough place to be, not knowing.

      Thinking this could never happen to you is never realistic. It can happen to almost anyone. I had a friend who had to have major fertility treatments to have two children in the thirties who accidentally become pregnant in her mid-forties. She had such trouble getting pregnant when she wanted to that she never again used birth control, figuring it truly couldn’t happen to her. The body is strange, though, as the end of fertility approaches – this is also a very common place for women in their 40s to find themselves. (My friend had always wanted another, though her husband thought they couldn’t afford it; so they decided that they were fine with having another.)

      And yes, find a therapist to talk to help you with this ASAP. There are plenty of women who have been in the exact same place you are in. I hope you find someone good, and that they can help. It is a tough place to be in, and it makes it all the harder to there alone. You need to talk to someone – they are out there.

      • “If you fear you don’t and that he will want to pressure you into having the child, and not be OK with it being your decision not to have the child (only you can gauge your relationship), then consider not telling him, having an abortion and then getting reliable birth control.”

        And then getting a divorce, because if you can’t talk to your husband about your mutual offspring, it’s not a marriage worth keeping. I almost cannot imagine a bigger violation of marital trust than disposing of his offspring without his knowledge. This is not a one-night-stand and a sowing-of-wild-oats. You’re married. Communication and ability to sort out literal life or death issues is THE ONE THING that matters most in a marriage. To stay married, with him in the dark about the way you view your marriage, is patently unfair to him. Or if he’s a controlling asshole who wouldn’t take your feelings and your somatic concerns into account as you work through it together, it’s unfair to you.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Agreed 100%

        • I was going to post this sentiment exactly, but this puts it better that I could have. Also agree 100%.

        • One thing I forgot – OP, while your desire to have more children or not is entirely up to you, and something within your rights to decide, I have to disagree that 35 is “too old” to have a child. I was 35 and my wife was 38 when our daughter was born, and she’s the best mother imaginable (no offense to all the other mothers out there, I’m sure you’re all tied for a close second). In this day and age, and in a major metropolitan area, 35 isn’t even out of the ordinary.

          • jim_ed

            If anything, younger than 35 is the outlier in DC. My wife and I were 28 when our daughter was born here, and you’d think we were auditioning for the new season of Teen Mom for the reactions we got from people around town.

        • Excellent post, I strongly agree with this.

        • I’m the anon above, and I also totally agree. But then, I can’t imagine being in a relationship, having sex with someone, and NOT discussing how he would feel if I became pregnant. I did this with my very first boyfriend. It is a conversation I was always going to have, with anyone I was involved with. I also can’t imagine not telling him as soon as I knew. So this is clearly a relationship that is different.
          Some people choose to be in relationships where they don’t communicate about things that are difficult, or avoid having conversations when they would just rather not know the other person feels differently. I can’t imagine being in this sort of relationship. But I think most people I know ARE in relationships where communication about things that may bring conflict are difficult and are avoided.
          And, while I would leave a relationship where I couldn’t communicate about everything openly, I have seen in this world that there are many, often women by not only women, who put up with relationships they would rather not be in to avoid breaking up when there are young children involved. There’s often an issue of not being able to afford to leave the relationship, too.

        • +1 couldn’t have said it better myself.

        • I feel I need to jump back in and clarify: The people I’m actually arguing with are the posters suggesting she keep it a secret, not with OP herself. In no way has the OP suggested that she is not going to tell her husband. She only said that she hasn’t yet.
          OP is in a tough spot, and should have sympathy and support. Let’s all hope she gets it from her husband, as well as here.

    • Have your baby and afterwards you will not be able to beleive that you considered abortion.

      • Accountering

        This is HORRIBLE advice. Congratulations for exercising no reading skills, complete disregard for the OP, and just spouting off your opinion of what she should feel/your definition of morality. The fact you thought this was good advice and worth typing makes my heart hurt for you. I award you zero points.

        • I feel like I’m 5 minutes late to every post today – Accountering beat me to it. Agree 100%. Even if I assume that you meant this as helpful advice (which I don’t), your complete lack of awareness that this is a singularly unhelpful and hurtful comment means you shouldn’t be allowed on the internet unsupervised. Take your agenda elsewhere.

          • HaileUnlikely

            I realize that the OP was probably not looking for the advice that Star provided, but the notion that those who are ok with abortion are more entitled to express their opinion than those who are not is absolutely absurd. If you disagree, say so and be done with it. No need for ad hominem.

          • Sorry, Halie, when someone responds to a post that is clearly anguished and shell-shocked with an ideologically driven offering that it either designed to cause additional heartache or completely oblivious to the fact that it is likely to do so, I’m going to indulge in a little ad hominem (and frankly, that was less than it deserved). And yes, I realize that’s self-righteous and at odds with my statements in other sub-threads today. What can I say, I’m an enigma. As Emerson said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          • I think the ire is directed more against Star’s presumption that she (he?) can know what the OP’s future thoughts would be — the sentiment of “Do X; you’ll feel Y.”

          • HaileUnlikely

            I honestly believe that the advice given by some others here, to keep the whole thing a secret from the husband and just move on with life, was much worse advice. Many here evidently agreed (that that was not the best advice), yet didn’t similarly attack those who posted it. I think “it’s perfectly fine to just keep it a secret” is equally ideologically driven, albeit by an altogether different ideology.

          • @textdoc – that’s exactly right.
            @Halie – that’s a very good point (that the other advice was just as ideologically driven), and it didn’t engender the same reaction.

          • Accountering

            I think the issue here is not pro/anti-abortion, but there are a majority of people who are saying she should make her own decision and do what is best for her and her family. “Star” above, feels the need to push her ideological agenda to tell OP how to run her life, and how she will feel if she has a kid. That is ridiculous, and deserves to be called what it is.
            As far as the don’t tell the husband bit, I said she SHOULD tell her husband, unless she is not able to share everything with her husband (for whatever reason)
            I am unwilling to tell someone who could be in an abusive or otherwise troubled relationship (not saying that is the case here in the least) that they HAVE to tell their husband. Only she knows her situation, and if that is a conversation that she could have.

          • Accountering

            I agree with most of what you have written, but do not feel my advice is ideologically driven in the least. I think my “I think you need to make the decision that is best for you.” is fairly representative of the majority of opinions expressed here.
            Only in a country where a major political party (representing just under half the country) that is hell-bent on states rights (except DC) and rights of the individual (except when it comes to gays and expectant mothers) could that statement be even considered remotely ideological.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Fair enough. I agree with wdc though regarding the long-term significance of not telling her husband. If she doesn’t tell him, ok, that’s their business not mine, but I cannot comprehend how somebody could remain in a marriage in which not discussing this was thought by either party to be optimal.

          • HaileUnlikely

            p.s. Accountering – I wasn’t talking about your advice, I was talking about that to which you originally gave a “reluctant +1.” However I might have felt about yours, it was not what I was referring to as ideologically-driven.

          • @ Accountering +100
            @ Haile: I am less worked up about the pro choice vs pro life angle and more worked up about Star trying to guilt the OP into having a child that they have clearly stated that they don’t want. This situation is hard enough without people bringing their agendas to bear on someone else’s personal and private decision. It’s bullying and uncalled for.

            And no, I didn’t think the advice to not tell the husband about the pregnancy was good, either, unless the OP is in an abusive situation or wants to get divorced. Yes, it is ultimately her decision, but the fallout of not even hearing her spouse out before acting could be catastrophic.

          • @Accountering – like Halie said, it isn’t the “you need to do what is best for your family” that is ideological. I agree with you that there are times, such as abuse, where disclosure isn’t appropriate. But there were several posts that didn’t include that kind of nuance, including the one to which you responded – they had much more of a “it’s your right, and no need to even consider your husband” vibe. I think Halie’s right – that is ideological on the opposite extreme of Star’s post (and potentially just as damaging to anon and her relationship, albeit in entirely different ways).

          • The vibe I was going for is this: No matter how he feels, she doesn’t want this to happen. If he agrees, great, but what if he doesn’t. I am not pro choice or life (although I think safe abortion options are needed); I’m pragmatic. Bringing an unwanted child into the world is not a good option no more than taking away his say in the matter. I know nothing of her situation. Absolutely bring him into the light if he’ll respect your wishes, but I just can’t say do so if you know he won’t.
            This is a situation I’ll never encounter unless something very bad happens, so I can only do my best to show empathy. Ultimately, she will (I hope) make the best discussion for her life, and I hope even more that her husband is there for support and comfort.

      • Please do not presume this is how anon or anyone feels/would feel in this situation. This is an entirely personal (whether it be as an individual or as part of a partnership) decision. As an outsider you have absolutely no idea what the circumstances or background of this person’s life and/or situation are. If this was your particular situation and that was your outcome…great, that is your life your decision – no one else should feel obligated or pressured to feel that way too.

      • Having a baby is not a one size fits all, right all the time proposition. It is hugely overstepping your bounds to tell a complete stranger whose situation you have no idea about that having a kid is absolutely the right thing to do. Especially when she’s just finished telling you that she doesn’t want to do it.

    • First off, hugs to you. I know this is a difficult decision. A very close friend found herself in a similar position and together she and her husband chose to terminate the pregnancy. I think this is an important discussion to have with your husband. Further, he was initially very happy that they were expecting, but when she explained she wasn’t, he was very supportive. At any rate, you need support, whether it be from him, a friend, or a stranger on the internet. This is your decision to make, and hopefully he will support it. If not, well, you’re better off without him IMHO. FWIW, 35 is not too old to have a child, but if it doesn’t work, just like anything, you can’t force it to work. If you go the therapy route, please be cautious of who you chose – you really don’t need some pro-lifer making you feel like an as whole now or ever.

  • Rant: Mean coworker had the nerve to say “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you…” then told me I don’t work hard so she’s happy I’m leaving, while also trying to pawn off her work on me (I said no). Can’t wait to get out of here!
    Rave: I can laugh about all of the above because I already gave my two week notice and I’m just counting down the days!
    Rant: Sciatic nerve pain. Owwwwww. Wtf, body?!
    Rave: New, free coffee table from a friend who decided she doesn’t like it with her other furniture. Yay free pretty things!

  • Rave: this weather! its AMAZING outside and I am so happy about it.
    Rant: just learned a far-away friend is struggling with depression. I’m so proud of her for asking for help, but not sure the best way to support her. If I remember correctly, UDPie had a friend going through something similar – what were some of the things you did that were most well-received?
    Question: I know there are quite a few Carolyn Hax fans on here. A few months ago one of her chats had a pretty comprehensive “to do” list for finding a therapist, including a script for calling the various offices. Can any of you help me find it? I’ve been looking with no luck so far.

    • I think this is the chat you’re looking for: http://live.washingtonpost.com/carolyn-hax-live-20150605.html.

      Good luck!

    • Hey there – i’m sorry your friend is going through this and you are hurting for her. It is tremendously hard to be far away and feel like you can’t do anything.

      I’m not sure I can give the best advice as said-friend who was struggling with serious anxiety (and I realize now, depression) tried to kill herself, was saved by a cop, and was put in the hospital (with NO meds) and then returned home to live with her parents who do not believe in therapy/medications. The saga continues…

      But, staying in touch, remaining a friend, sending cards and reminders that she is loved might help. Also, I think balancing conversations between light (how’s that hobby going…etc.) and real (are you taking your meds, have you seen a therapist) is important. My friend now feels like all we talked about was her worries/sorrows and she blames me/my mom/her mom for not talking more about the things that she loves (teaching, acroyoga, etc.). And I feel like I could have been more forceful about following up on her selfcare. Also, offering vs. giving help – I offered many times to work through insurance issues with her but never just did it. I wonder now if she would have continued in therapy if I had just DID a lot of the things I offered because she didn’t have the wherewithall to pursue it.

      Also, something that may have helped me, something I’m still considering now, and might help you, is to see a therapist myself, or a support counselor. Specifically to talk about tools and ways to support someone who is fragile. Perhaps you can take that path and feel more empowered that way.

      All in all, it’s a tough road and one I’m still walking down. Best of luck to you. I’ll echo what PoPville said to me, which is you are a good friend to even care and support and follow-up. A lot of people don’t. I still have a tough time feeling what I do/did was adequate or enough, but I have to believe I’m doing what I can.

      Best of luck. Sending you hugs.

      • Hey, I’m so sorry to hear how the situation with your friend has deteriorated – I hadn’t seen the updates. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for all of you.

        Very good advice re: balancing conversations. I’m definitely planning to send her a little care package or something, and hopefully I can go visit her sooner rather than later. Thank you for taking the time to respond and send such good suggestions my way! Lots of internet hugs to you and to your friend.

  • Rave: It’s Thursday, therefore almost the weekend.
    Rant: How is it Thursday already? Too much to do!
    Rave: Finally got a good night’s sleep last night.
    Rant: Still exhausted and amped up from the stress/craziness of travel followed by crazy schedule and my toddler is an inexplicable mess the last 24 hours. Coming down from some of it, but I kinda feel like I just want a hug and to cry to let the rest out.
    Rave: I have an office with a door and can close it if I need to πŸ™‚

  • Rave: Finally found a bottle of wine that I’ve been searching for ever since I got back from a trip to California in 2014. Not the same year that we had tried but at least the same type.
    Rant: It’s going to have to stay on the shelf for probably a year before we’ll be able to drink it.
    Rave: Finally told both sets of parents that they will be grandparents next year. It was adorable.

    • I read this at first to mean that you had brought back a bottle, and just found it in your house. And was wondering where in one’s house one might misplace a bottle of wine. Under your sweaters? Next to the fire extinguisher? πŸ˜‰

      • I wish I had secret stashes of awesome wine throughout my house. Maybe that needs to be a thing I do…

        • Maybe that’s Uber’s next venture. They send someone to your house to hide (nonperishable) goodies for you to find.

          • That is bloody brilliant. I really would like someone to hide a jar of hot fudge somewhere in my house for me to find.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: it’s been a while since we had our last Unofficial Popville Karaoke night (UPOKAN) . I’m going to communicate with the board of UPOKAN and see if we can organize one some time soon.

    • binpetworth

      I’m neither an UPOKAN board member nor past participant, but I would really like to get in on this. Also, I can bring cookies. Every song goes better with cookies, no?

      • Pablo Raw

        Hahaha, UPOKAN happens at a bar in Chinatown but I’m sure your high quality cookies will be welcome. Tentative date: Wednesday, Sept. 9. It may change upon UPOKAN’s board decision.

  • Pop-inquiry: Where do you all look for DC apartment listings besides Craigslist?

    • I found my recent apartment on the Zillow Rentals app. The RadPad app also has some decent deals.
      Also, regularly check out the websites for the large property management companies. They often update their availability: Frank Emmet, Barac, Borger, Bernstein….use your Google Fu to find other companies. There’s a ton of them in DC and many of their apartments are rent controlled.

      • Zillow is good, as it Hotpads. I don;t find that the rents they quote are very accurate, though. And I second the advice about checking the websites for the property management companies and buildings that interest you. The good apartments go fast, so checking what’s available frequently gives you a chance to put your bid in while it’s still available.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I’m a believer in management companies (burned by some landlords), I forget how I found mine, probably just google apartments in DC, any way Bernstein is awesome & have buildings all over the DMV at different price points. And they are awesome!

    • It really depends on what sort of apartment you are looking for. Advice above is great to find a rent-controlled apartment in a professionally managed building. If you prefer to rent directly from a landlord, I’ve found craigslist good – for renting condos. You’ll find ones that advertise directly, and others who hire a real estate agent to advertise and show the place. You don’t get professional management (which can be good or bad, depending not the landlord, and depending on how good a given management company is.) I’ve found I’ve gotten landlords who don’t raise the rent a lot or frequently, who are more invested in keeping a good tenant (to avoid hassle in finding a new one, and unknowns about how the next tenant will be.) The risk there is that they may sell the place. If they’ve kept the place as a rental long-term, then less risk than someone who recently moved out of it, or so I think, but there’s no way to really know, other than to ask about their plans.

      You can also see the ones listed on the local multiple listing service by real estate agents at mrishomes.com. Some of these may be picked up by other sites listed above. You can see them when first listed if you keep checking this site.

      • Meant to say if you go for ones listed by real estate agents, it can be helpful to contact the agent listing the place directly. Though you won’t have an agent representing you (which can be of dubious help anyway), you may increase your chances of getting the place. The fee income in doing a rental is so low to agents that some listing agents don’t cooperate well with other agents who contact them about rentals, as then they have to split that fee.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Having weird reactions to all the Katrina anniversary coverage. I wasn’t in the Gulf but spent 34 straight days here at work supporting Katrina relief and then several more months of long days of ongoing support. It was tough hearing your hard work criticized on TV or the newspaper but at least I had a house with a roof on it to go back to each night, I guess. I think I may have some unresolved issues here…

    • That does sound like some unresolved issues. Perhaps a smudging is called for? πŸ˜‰
      On a more serious note… I’d try not to take the criticism of your organization quite so personally. I get the impression that the response was effective in some ways, and not so good in others. It’s possible for any workplace/agency to get a bunch of things right and some other things wrong, and/or to get some things right at a micro level but have some serious issues at a macro level.
      I can understand how it would be frustrating to see the news coverage focusing only on the shortcomings… but it shouldn’t negate the work that you and your immediate colleagues did.

      • I Dont Get It

        Thanks but the Smudger-in-Chief is still convalescing in Virginia. I did notice a new circle of white rocks around a tree in the front yard. I’m afraid to ask the meaning!

    • Accountering

      Can’t we all just go back to blaming Bush for this one? That is where the blame really lies. I am certain you did the best with what you had, and you should not feel bad in the least.

    • Emmaleigh504

      My friends in New Orleans and my parents only had good things to say about your organization. Your org helped in ways my friends didn’t even know they needed. Thank you.

    • I wasn’t in any way affected by it, but even I have issues come up with all the coverage. It was truly horrible to listen to it back then and realize how ineffective our government can be about planning and helping people in dire straits. It can be a bit traumatizing to think we could all be in the same situation if disaster struck. So it isn’t surprising that you have issues – perfectly normal.

  • T-Mobile has offered us a pretty good deal for our family plan. Anyone have T-Mobile who can tell me about their coverage, reliability, etc? I know they all suck. I want to know if we’re going to increase our frustration by switching. In metro? All around town? Inside your house/ office?

    • I haven’t had problems with T-Mobile except 1) when visiting my mom, who lives in another state and on the outskirts of her city and 2) when I was working in one of the inner courtyards of a government office building.

    • I have T-Mobile, my bf has Verizon. I think there have only been a couple places where he’s had coverage and I didn’t. One of those times was when we were up in the mountains in Nelson, Va. The other is the b-dubs in Crystal City…

    • Metro: works fine in some stations and not well in others. Just like AT&T (my previous carrier).
      Home: this is very home specific. Works perfectly fine in my most recent two homes (11th Street of CoHi and now in Adams Morgan). Same was true of AT&T.
      Regional coverage: I just spent the last week in some rural parts of Cape Cod and coastal MA. Occasionally, I would lose coverage and would need to rely on my GF’s phone (she has Verizon). Occasionally, she would lose coverage and she would need my phone to make a call.
      On Amtrak to NYC: had full bars for the vast majority of the trip.
      Honestly? It’s a crap shoot. For urban areas and close-in suburbs, you should be totally fine. Coverage in your home depends on both location and the phone itself (how powerful is it’s antenna?)

    • I also have had good experiences with T-mobile. Their service techs in the store aren’t always great, but the general service, coverage, and reliability have been just fine. We’ve been with them for a little over two years. I was nervous about making the jump from verizon because of their amazing coverage, but haven’t had any desire to go back.

  • Rave? I’m finally on a z-pack.
    Rant: I’m so tired and weak and have little desire to eat or drink anything. I hardly got our of bed yesterday except to retch. (Sorry if that’s TMI.)
    Rave: The babies don’t seem to notice. They’re still as cute and squirmy and healthy as ever.
    Rave? High-risk pregnancy + scary incidents means getting to see the babies on screen every 1-2 weeks.

    • Glad that you’ve got some medicine and that they’re still doing well! Sorry you’re feeling so crappy! Staying in bed sounds glorious until it actually has to be done because you don’t feel well!

    • Emmaleigh504

      z-packs are wonderful. I hope you are feeling better soon.

    • Blithe

      I’m delighted to hear that the Adorable Avocados (?) are doing well! Hope you feel better soon!

    • I hope for a swift recovery now that you have the Z pack!
      Thanks for the updates, I like to hear how you’re doing πŸ™‚

      • You (and the other posters, of course) are so sweet. And yes, Blithe, this week is avocado week. Or navel orange week. Or pear week. Every app tells me something different. But the coolest thing about this week is that I’m really starting to feel them moving. They have a fun little dance party around 8:30 pm most nights. This may be less fun when they are melon-sized, but right now it’s very charming.

  • That One Guy

    Saw an email come in early this morning mentioning the return of pumpkin spice latte and the little voice in my mind said, “oh noo.” Didn’t think I was so attached to summer.
    My 80+ year old aunt wants to set me up with a church friend’s daughter. I know, it’s endearing but I’m not all that excited about this. I’m obligated to meet the girl at least once, right?

    • Accountering

      Well, I am excited about pumpkin spice lattes! I love fall!
      Meh, only meet her if you want too. I doubt your 80+ year old aunt really understands both you and said girl well enough to be a match, but if you are open to it and she seems normal enough, why not?

    • What do you have to lose? Maybe meeting her ends up being the best thing that ever happened to you!

    • Emmaleigh504

      I have no advice, but I loved that link from the other day. Many many pretty sweaters to go with the rain coasts.

    • You should not meet a “girl” because she’d be a minor … unless you are also a minor?

      The woman in question may feel the same way about you, you never know.

      • anon, you are WAY too politically correct. I’m well into my 20s and still refer to “guys and girls” often, as do my co-workers when they are in their 30s+. Stop picking at people’s word choice.

        • I don’t like it either, but don’t make an issue of it outside the professional sphere. On my staff, someone who refers to a woman as a girl will be reprimanded. We communicate our respect for others in all aspects of our interactions.

          • I Dont Get It

            I don’t use it professionally but otherwise if you are younger than a baby boomer, I probably refer to you as that girl or that guy.

          • I agree, I wouldn’t use it professionally (and find my colleagues that do rather unprofessional) but I’m still getting really aggitated by all the “anonymous” people on here who pick at people’s word choice just to be clever. (Also, I am in a foul mood today so at this point everything is pissing me off.)

      • That One Guy

        To paraphrase John O’Donohue, we’re all ex-babies. I like guy/boy and girl because, to me, there is still youthfulness to the connotation.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: This time of year.
    Rant: my terrible awful no-good officemate.
    Rant: everything, I just hate this time of year so much it’s hard to see passed it.
    Rave: My doctor is so casual with my Rxs, makes me smile. Here take this to help you sleep, if you sleep too long, cut it in half, if you don’t get sleepy enough take two!

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