Dear PoPville – What do I say to poop pickin’ haters?

What to do I say to poop pickin’ haters?

“There is a dog poop problem in my neighborhood. It is so bad that people have even hung signs encouraging people to pick up their dog poop.

Anyways, I have two lovely adoptees and a third, a mastiff, that was abandoned at the house that we purchased — we call him the most expensive dog we ever purchased, because he came with the house. We take care of our pups — vet, groomer for the hairy one, glucosamine for the older ones, and special diets for each.

More importantly, we pick up our dog poop. We pick up so much poop that we order poop bags from Amazon by the thousand. We pick up so much poop that we have a designated poop can to throw the poop in. We pick up so much poop that sometimes when there is another dog’s poop next to our dogs poop, we pick up that poop — because it is the neighborly thing to do. I even offered to share my poop in a package for someone having package thief problems to act as a “Trojan package”.

There are some people that have yelled at me while my dog is pooping on the frontage. Most recently, while my dog was mid-poop and I already had a poop bag on my hand, a neighbor, who has not been very neighborly at all since we moved in, opened her second story window and yelled, “You better pick up that up.”

So, I want your suggestions — How can I say back that is entertaining to me or the people witnessing to keep the mood light when someone is so angry they they need to yell at me before my dog is even finished pooping?”