quality of life

Epic Craigslist Rant – You Just Gotta Read It…

By Prince Of Petworth


Photo by PoPville flickr user ekelly80

Not sure if this really happened or is a creative writing assignment but for what it’s worth, here it is.

From Craigslist missed connections:

you hit me with your electric wheelchair so i challenge you to a duel – 29 (Giant in Columbia Heights Washington DC)

Hello sir,

My name is Ben and at about 8pm tonight (1/17/12) you ran directly into me with your electric wheelchair in front of the Giant in Columbia Heights, DC.

Allow me to illustrate what exactly happened that was so be-fuddling and anger inducing that it would inspire me to create a “missed connection” post on Craigslist.

After a long day at work, I entered the aforementioned Giant in our wonderful nation’s capital. All I needed were paper towels. I purchased said paper towels and was on my merry way home only to be caught in a pedestrian traffic jam of sorts at the entrance of the grocery store. After avoiding disaster and taking a sigh of relief, my eyes were suddenly affixed upon an middle-aged gentleman about four to five feet away from me in an electric wheelchair hellbent on taking me out. That gentleman was you, sir. Not only did you run directly into me, but I consequently fell directly onto you, and then off your wheelchair, and then onto the ground.

Now, what for lack of better words “pisses me the f*ck off” is the fact that you threw up your hands like you were just attacked by a pack of rabid penguins. What “pisses me the f*ck off” even more is the fact that all the on-lookers immediately ran to your side to see if you were “okay.” Don’t mind me. It’s all gravy. Getting hit by people in electric wheelchairs is apparently a normally occurring thing in everyday life. Moreover, I get that you are handicapped for whatever reason and need an electric wheelchair to do whatever it is you do, but in my years of living I’ve gathered that by now electric wheelchairs have the ability to stop as well as go.

One more thing. I have a broken toe on my right foot. You managed to not only run over that, but my left foot as well, which now feels like it was just hit by an inconsiderate handicapped guy in an electric wheelchair in front of a Giant in Washington, DC (see what I did there?). Anyway, I am currently working as a day manager and head bartender at a bar/nightclub. This job requires me to constantly be quick on my feet and run up and down stairs daily to make sure things run smoothly. Now pardon my language sir, but how the f*ck am I going to explain to my bosses and fellow employees that I cannot perform up to expectations because I got “hit by a guy in an electric wheelchair.” These kinds of things not only sound made-up, but make me look like a straight up punk b*tch, and I sir, am not a punk b*tch.

I WILL NOT ACCEPT YOUR GUFF AND DOUCHE-BAGGERY, AND CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.

Judging by the shape of your legs (literally and figuratively), we cannot engage in a cage fight, and sadly duels to the death are no longer considered “legal.” The only fair compromise is that I buy an electric wheelchair myself and we joust. If you accept these terms, I demand we meet in front of the same Giant at the date of your choosing, preferably at sunrise so I can still make it to work after I f*ck your shit up.

I do not care if I miss rent next month, or my cell phone gets cut off. I will use all the money I make to make this happen in order to make things right in this already sad world. The gauntlet has been thrown.

Consider your couch f*cked,
Ben

P.S. – I hate you.

Dear PoPville – “Pothead tenants stinking up my apartment”

By Prince Of Petworth


Photo by PoPville flickr user District Shots

Dear PoPville,

I’ve lived in the same apartment for a number of years with no problems. It’s an older building and the heating system includes large vents on the floor. Recently, the strong smell of marijuana has been coming through the vent on a daily basis. Because it’s coming from the vent, I believe it’s the tenants downstairs. If this was just once in awhile, we’d try to just ignore it; but this is happening every day and sometimes multiple times a day.

I’d really like to get this to stop, but I don’t feel comfortable confronting the tenant in person. Based on past experience, I doubt the office staff will take any meaningful action. So, I feel that I’m left with calling the police – so do I just call 311? Does anyone out there in PoPville have any suggestions?

We discussed a somewhat similar situation back in April ’11 when an elderly neighbor’s pot smoke was also getting into someone’s apartment. Is it possible you could leave a note under the offending resident’s door?

LED billboards to Go Up at Verizon Center?

By Prince Of Petworth


Photo by PoPville flickr user Joe in DC

Thanks to everyone who forwarded emails from Vida Fitness:

Dear VIDA Members,
DC City Council will soon consider Bill 19-0517, which would allow enormous full-motion Jumbotron billboards to be placed anywhere on the exterior of the Verizon Center. The bill will exempt these billboards from most of the regulations that apply to all other billboards in the city.

As a VIDA Member, you need to be aware that one of Verizon Center’s planned Jumbotrons would literally cover the vast majority of VIDA’s leased space. One of the important amenities that we offer is floor-to-ceiling glass windows and the natural light is very much a part of what makes VIDA so enjoyable. Many of you value the scenic views of downtown DC you enjoy while utilizing our cardio equipment or simply walking the 3rd Floor during your weight lifting routine. This visual reinforces that this is truly a neighborhood where people work, live and work out.

The proposed bill allows for LED billboards of unlimited size, including signs that could wrap around the Verizon Center and cast light 7 or 8 blocks down G Street, meaning they would be visible from the Treasury Building, which sits right next to the White House. The authorizing legislation allows up to 9 Jumbotrons of any size in any location. The Verizon Center plan does not respect the local community of residences, offices, businesses, museums, theatres, and restaurants.

The billboards may hamper the residential development that the city is actively trying to encourage in the area. A recent study showed that billboards negatively impact the value of neighboring residences and drive down property values. This, combined with a decline in tenants interested in having their bedrooms bathed in glowing LED lights, would ultimately discourage residential development and result in a loss of property taxes collected by the city.
The legislation will be heard before the City Council on Jan. 23 at 2:00 PM. Your input is very important. Please join us by filling out the petition form at www.scenic.org/verizon. You may also call or email the DC City Council directly.

If you want to speak at the hearing, you must sign up before Friday, January 20th.
Contact Melanie Williamson at (202) 741-2112 or email her at [email protected].

The hearing is Monday, January 23, 2012 at 2:00 PM.
Room 123, John A. Wilson Building
1350 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20004

David von Storch
President & Founder
VIDA Fitness

Do you think the Verizon Center should be able to have LED billboards?

“many residents are frustrated by the lack of street parking available in their own neighborhoods”

By Prince Of Petworth


Photo by PoPville flickr user W_Bram

From ANC1B:

ANC 1B is surveying residents about the Enhanced Residential Parking Permit program. This program, if the ANC opts into it, will restrict parking on one side of each residential street to residents only during the hours of parking restrictions. Visitors will still be permitted to park on the other side of each residential street for up to two hours.

Think this is a good idea? Take the survey here.

Dear PoPville – Advice for Dealing with Litter?

By Prince Of Petworth

Dear PoPville,

I’m writing to vent about all the litter blowing around Columbia heights. I know the city cut the Green Team but this is ridiculous & I’m wondering what we can do. I took photos near our house and was thinking maybe I can take more & send them to Jim Graham’s office – any other ideas? It’s too much for one or two people to keep up with. Have you noticed more trash? Anyone else?

Have others noticed that litter has increased since some funding for the Green Teams were cut?

Dear PoPville – What Would You Have Done?

By Prince Of Petworth


Photo by PoPville flickr user random lady

Dear PoPville,

My friend and I had just left Room 11 and were walking west on Park, about 2 blocks from the Target, when we saw a group of black teenage girls walking towards us on the sidewalk. They were taking up the entire width of the walk, and didn’t look like they were going to allow us to pass. My friend and I had two choices: let them run us off the sidewalk or keep walking on our half of the sidewalk. We chose the latter. Consequently, we bumped shoulders with a couple of the girls, who proceeded to call us “white bitches.”

We felt that the girls were deliberately trying to intimidate and provoke us, and we chose to stand our ground. However, others may have behaved differently in this situation – some may have yielded the sidewalk to avoid a confrontation; some would have said “excuse me” or politely asked the girls to share the sidewalk; and some may have used stronger terms.

After the girls called us names, we ignored them and kept walking. Again, others may have responded differently.

What would you have done?

Friday Question of the Day – Panhandling a Problem in DC?

By Prince Of Petworth

Over the holidays there was an interesting discussion on the MPD-1D listserv that started off with the following request:

“Please resolve the issue of panhandlers sitting in front of SW New Safeway!”

MPD responded:

First District members will use some of their persuasive talents to encourage these folks to go elsewhere; however, “panhandling” and loitering are not illegal in the District of Columbia. Aggressive Panhandling is a violation of the law, but this would involve an activity like using tactics that are meant to intimidate people. The City Council purposely did not make the mere act of panhandling a violation, so while it may not be conducive to the promotion of the area, we are limited in what action we can take. If the law was to change and panhandling did become illegal, we would enforce.

In addition to our persuasive tactics, it would help if the community not give money to these panhandlers. I stopped at Safeway myself the other night on my way home and saw at least 3 people give money to a subject panhandling. As long as people continue to give money to the panhandlers, they will keep coming back. The community could urge people that want to help the homeless to give money to organization that provide services to the homeless rather than to panhandlers.

A resident included this secton from DC Code for reference:

D.C. Code s.22-2301-2306 (Panhandling Control Act of 1993), specifically s.2302(a)-(h) which states:

(a) No person may ask, beg, or solicit alms, including money and other things of value, in an aggressive manner in any place open to the general public, including sidewalks, streets, alleys, driveways, parking lots, parks, plazas, buildings, doorways and entrances to buildings, and gasoline service stations, and the grounds enclosing buildings.

As stated the key words in the above code are “in an aggressive manner”. The Downtown BID shares a primer on aggressive panhandling here.

When I was in San Fransisco over the holidays I happened to notice the following plaque in front of a downtown building (see photo above as well):

So for the Friday Question of the Day – do you think DC Code/laws need to be updated to deal with panhandling? Do you think panhandling in DC is a significant problem in general? Do you think an MPD officer responding “First District members will use some of their persuasive talents to encourage these folks to go elsewhere” is a satisfactory way to deal with this problem (if you do consider it a problem)?

Black and Orange Burger Joint Applies for 40 Seat Outdoor Cafe at 14th and U St, NW

By Prince Of Petworth

Last night a PoPville twitter follower wrote:

“New burger joint at intersection of 14&U wants a 40-seat sidewalk cafe??? Umm… No.”

I asked @AdamLDC what he thought was a reasonable number and he replied:

“Zero would be a reasonable at one of the most crowded intersections in the city.”

A liquor license application posted out front of Black and Orange coming to 14th and U St, NW [1931 14th St, NW] says:

“New restaurant specializing in hamburgers & Latin food. Occupancy load is 79. Sidewalk café has 40 seats.”

Do you guys agree that 40 seats is not reasonable for a sidewalk cafe at this location? Perhaps they could negotiate a way to use the parking lot next door? If they are only talking about the sidewalk itself – do you think any number of cafe seating would be appropriate?

Dear PoPville – Be Careful Running With Headphones

By Prince Of Petworth


Photo by PoPville flickr user yostinator

Dear PoPville,

I am 23 years old and moved to Columbia Heights about a year and a half ago. Like a lot of people in this city, I love running. Sometimes I run towards Logan Circle, but often times I’m running in the neighborhoods of Park View and Petworth. Unfortunately, about a month ago my friend’s roommate was attacked near Irving and Sherman at 7pm. Her face was beaten and her things were stolen. Not only was she running at night, but she also was listening to music. Although I feel like it’s common sense not to run, or even walk, at night with headphones in your ears, I see people doing it EVERYDAY. I’m concerned about everyone, but when I see young women, like myself, running around Columbia Heights, Park View and Petworth at night it worries me. Of course, I’d like to tap them on the shoulder and say, “Hello?! Do you know that you’re putting yourself in danger?”…but I don’t.

It’s my hope that you could post something about this on your blog so that readers may think twice before running at night while listening to music. In a city that is so exercise-focused, I think it’s important that people know how unsafe it is to be unaware and alone at night in these areas.

Dear PoPville – What can I do about non-stop car alarms?

By Prince Of Petworth

Dear PoPville,

I’m writing in because I’m at my wit’s end and I’m hoping that your readers will be able to help. I live in Woodley Park, about 2 blocks south of the zoo on Connecticut, and for the last 3 hours, a car alarm on the street in front of my building has been going off every few seconds. It’s a blaring car alarm, that will go off for a few minutes, then stop, then go off again within seconds when another car drives by it. Ordinarily, I’d just leave my apartment, but I work from home, and I’ve got a ton of work to do today. I’m using ear plugs so I can at least concentrate enough to get my work done, but I’ve got two business calls to take today, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to crawl into the closet to keep the other people on the call from hearing it.

I’ve lived here for three years, and I’ve had this happen before, but never for this long. Unfortunately, since it’s a car on the street and not in our building’s lot, I’m pretty sure it’s not a neighbor’s car. I’ve looked on various forums, but the consensus seems to be that DC police won’t be able to do anything. Short of leaving a note on the windshield and waiting until they come back, is there anything I can do?

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