“Needless to say, I’m still looking because I don’t want to be murdered and become a Lifetime movie.”

via Craigslist

“Dear PoPville,

I was perusing the Craigslist job section for a potential part-time gig when I stumbled upon this gem and wanted to share it with the world (or at least the readers of Popville). The best part is the self-asked and answered Q&A section where the poster talks about pheromones. ENJOY!

Needless to say, I’m still looking because I don’t want to be murdered and become a Lifetime movie. Let me know if anyone needs a weekend dog walker.”

Wingwoman – Make some money, have some FUN (Arlington, VA):

“Wingwoman

What: Be my wingwoman
When: Weekends and weekday evenings when we’re both available
Where: Arlington VA (and downtown DC if its convenient). PUBLIC places ONLY. NOT at my apartment. NOT anywhere else private.
Why: Because I’m shy and want to meet women who are not shy
Pay: $30 per hour

Objectives

Help me meet new people and build social networks
Teach me some new things
Show me new perspectives and approaches to meeting women
Help with approaches
Provide coaching support – help me increase skills/awareness
Help me learn to be more interesting in a group setting, especially bars and clubs
Help me learn to appear and present myself as more attractive/desirable (body language, clothes, etc…).
Who you will be working with
To give you an idea of what you will be working with, I’ll describe where I’m at currently:

Look about 28 years old but I’m actually in my thirties. Am 5’8″, caucasian, with a lean, athletic build. Have a dog. I live in an apartment in Clarendon Station walking distance to a bunch of night life such as Don Tito and Clarendon Ballroom. I own a company that employs 8 people and I also make a 6 figure salary as a software developer. (side-note: If you’re interested in being an entrepreneur, I’d love to help out). I’m not an arrogant douche-bag about my career success, the reason I mention it here is because its an asset that we might choose to leverage in some way.

I feel very comfortable when out on 1-on-1 dates with women, especially conversation over dinner, this type of interaction often goes really well. I’m intuitive and high-empathy. I tune into people’s emotions, genuinely engage, and am genuinely caring. On the occasions that I have been on dates with highly attractive women, they’ve often been “in” to me. The difficult part for me is getting the dates in the first place. This is because for a very long time I worked way too much on my company and made very little effort to be social. Most of my really close friends are people I know from high school and college before I started over-focusing on my career.

Bars and clubs are challenging for me, so I’m really hoping you can help me out here in short term and help me hone my skills in the long term. I sometimes get social anxiety in groups, this means I sometimes get uncomfortable and stressed out around large groups of people. If I am with one or two people who I am comfortable with, this doesn’t happen though… actually maybe this is normal for most people, lol

I’m a very warm person. In relationships I’m especially warm. I also tune into and engage with my partner’s needs. For example, in my last relationship, I trained the dogs to enthusiastically greet my girlfriend when she got home from work so every time she entered the house after a stressful day, she’d come home to a bunch of positive energy. The reason I mention this here is because it helps to illustrate one of the goals here. Someone with my personality is usually not the first person a woman will choose to hook up with because there are are always 10 other taller, louder, flashier guys dominating all the attention. The trick here will be to subtly get a spotlight on me, focus some attention, give the impression of high status, get my foot in the door. Once my foot is in the door, I can take it from there.

Frequently Asked Questions

(Q) Is this really just some scheme to come at me sideways and try to sleep with me?
(A) A fair question, but the answer is: NO. Its also important to note here that we will always meet in places that are very public.

(Q) Whats wrong with you? Why do you need a Wingwoman?
(A) LOL Ouch!!! There isn’t anything glaringly wrong with me. In fact, when compared to the average Joe, I’m more successful on the female front than average. I’m fairly attractive, compassionate, considerate, and genuine. That being said, I’m not good at meeting women in at bars and clubs. I tend to clam up in groups of people and randomly hitting on women makes me very uncomfortable. This is normal for most high-empathy guys. Life is a school though and hopefully with your help, we can make some improvements.

(Q) Why do you want a Wingwoman?
(A) Good question! I don’t have any friends that like to go out; and like the average person, I get pretty uncomfortable when I’m all alone in large crowds of people who I don’t know. Additionally, this is an excellent way to get out of the “dating rate race” so to speak. Instead of being some creepy loner who goes around hitting on people and making them uncomfortable, instead we can have positive interactions with lots of people and build some genuine, lasting friendships. I’m sure there will be lots of fun along the way, but I’m hoping that eventually we can find me a life-long relationship.

(Q) What kind of women do you like?
(A) Confident. Outgoing. Positive. Active. Ambitious. Emotionally healthy. Happy.

(Q) No, I mean “looks-wise”, what kind of women do you like?
(A) Obviously attractive women. Don’t care about race, hair color, height, body type or anything like that. I do have what I believe is a “pheromone” bias towards latin women. What I mean by this is that their natural body smell is more likely to turn me on. If you’ve ever thought someone smelled so good that you liked to breath in their breath as they breathed out, then you know what I’m talking about. Anecdotally, I get the impression that this is something that only a minority of people ever experience.

(Q) Are you looking for something long-term or short-term?
(A) Long term. The reason I am putting this much effort into this endeavor is that I want to find something truly incredible for the long term. How does this affect what we will be doing? We won’t be going for the “easy win.” That being said, its going to take a long time to achieve this, and the road is likely to be paved in lots of short term, less serious relationships, hookups, one night stands, etc…

(Q) How does the pay work?
(A) Half up front at the beginning of the night. Other half at the end of the night.

(Q) When?
(A) Weekends and some week days when we’re both available. (no strict schedule)

Compensation
Pay is $30 per hour.

How to apply
Respond to this post with a little bit about yourself, why you are interested in the position, any questions you have, and/or any ideas you have.

Looking forward to working with you!”