Mistress Domina Vontana on Power Exchange (By Danny Harris)

Danny Harris is a DC-based photographer, DJ, and collector of stories. In September, he launched People’s District, a blog that tells a people’s history of DC by sharing the stories and images of its residents. Every day, People’s District presents a different Washingtonian sharing his or her insights on everything from Go Go music to homelessness to fashion to politics. You can read his previous columns here.

“I am a preacher’s daughter from Whitefish, Montana. I grew up in barns, and we would go out on stampedes and round up the young bulls in the spring and castrate them. I saw the force of life from a very young age and was taught not to flinch. Education was a huge emphasis in my family, and there was always that push to seek knowledge. I definitely credit the area where I grew up for a lot of the qualities that now make me a Dominatrix, like hard work, education, and loyalty.

“When I tried to break into the Dominatrix scene in D.C., no one would give me an opening, which is how I ended up stripping out on the Eastern Shore. During that time, I went out to San Francisco for S&M training and really benefited from the networking. I found people whom I could call when I had questions as a young Dom. Three weeks after my Dad died, I put up an ad on Craigslist as a Dominatrix. One of the major reasons I do this work is because I know that my father was submissive. I know that if he had understood himself, he’d still be here today.

“When people don’t accept who they are on whatever level, whether sexual, social or personal, they can do a lot of damage to themselves because of how unhappy they are. I just want every father, mother, daughter, and lover out there to be able to know who they are and honestly communicate that to their partner, whether it is vanilla sex or extreme kink. If someone is coming to me to induce a feeling of shame because they don’t feel comfortable with what they desire, they need to seek a psychotherapist, not me. I only want to play with people who are comfortable with their desires and embrace their identity. I screen people using extreme intuition and patterns. When you are in the business long enough, you learn who the wankers are and you can point them out in ten seconds. Continues after the jump.

“People come to me to do all kinds of scenes that include things like rope bondage, impact play, which is everything from spanking with a hand or a paddle to flogging and hitting, and cross-dressing, which is my bread and butter. There is so much cross-dressing out there. You would have no idea because someone can just wear panties to work under their trousers. I love edge play, which is the scary, psychological stuff when you get inside somebody’s head and play with their fears. It builds up someone’s confidence. As for rope bondage, I was into rope before I knew about this scene. A pile of rope makes me smile. I think it takes me back to my farm days.

“I also do traditional slave play and service. Some people are really fulfilled and satisfied by coming and cleaning my house and knowing that I appreciate them. It sounds a little unbelievable to those that haven’t experienced it, but it is very sincere. Now I have one boy who is 27 and Jewish and has served me for two years. I also have my little Indian boy. He is 22 and has been with me for a couple of months now. I would love to find a girl, too.

“Being a preacher’s daughter and a Dominatrix, I can see things that other people can’t see in people, including their power. Power is real, and these people in D.C. pack a lot of it. What these people are giving up to me – their will, their intellects, their bodies, their desires, their pocketbooks – are larger and stronger than anywhere in the world. This is the perfect city for what I do. These are important individuals who have a lot of people that rely on them. They spend all day making heavy decisions. When they come to visit me, my ropes set them free. The smallest consideration for the submissive inside of them is enough to empower them to go out and work hard for another three to four weeks. I’m like a therapist, a life coach, a best friend, a Momma who is gonna tell it to you straight. Generally, if they maintain a professional relationship with me, they are also better husbands and partners when they go home.

“I hope to meet someone and settle down someday, as I was disowned by my family. That person has to be very emotionally secure and intellectually sophisticated. When I am out at a bar, I tell people that I am a consultant who works with the military. But when I’m trying to get to know somebody, I usually put it out there pretty quickly. Occasionally, I have a lover of my own who is not freaked out by what I do for a living. A lot of people think I’m a prostitute. All I want to say is that this is so much work with the equipment, the overhead, the cleaning, the supplies, and the sanitation. If I had wanted to take the easy way, I would have done that a long time ago. I pay thousands of dollars every year to attend seminars, where I build my skills. Give me credit.”

Read more about Mistress Domina Vontana here. Learn more about the BDSM community in D.C. from Black Rose and DCTNG.

Tomorrow, People’s District will share the story of Vishal, Mistress Domina’s slave.