“Dear PoPville,
Move over bike lane sinkholes! This new mountain range erupted during preparations for TFG’s June 14, 2025 birthday parade. We were promised the streets wouldn’t be damaged, but nothing can stop the tectonic movement caused by moving several ton tanks transported down residential streets.
The RIA Tetons range dots an easily mile long stretch of Rhode Island Avenue. Car subframes and oil pans have successfully managed to keep their height to no more than two cans of soda.
With an ongoing military presence in Washington, we can expect continued movement. Forget traffic – keep your eyes on the road topography, and both hands on the steering wheel!“