“Make-to-Order Wegman’s Sandwiches Petition”

“Dear PoPville,

I thought this sincere, but funny, petition might be something the community would enjoy (and agree with) on a quiet Friday.”

From Change.org:

“I regret to inform that the above ranked caskets represent the only apparent means of obtaining cold deli sandwiches at Wegmans DC.

I am certain, in some MBA’s spreadsheet somewhere, that this sandwich appears in a cell as “SANDWICH X1” and somehow better fits some marketing persona that’s been developed for the “on the go” DC shopper, with lower per-sf prep cost.

It does not. It is a sad, sad thing, replacing the craftsmanship and joy of a true Wegman’s sandwich on their fantastic, on-premises bread with a sub-Subway level sandwich you might grudgingly buy as you rushed for your flight at LAX.

The only thing it submarines is expectations; only dreams are torpedo’ed. There is no six-foot party in this sub.

There are yellow mustard packets.

The nature of a deli sandwich is personal preference and freshness. No one omakase’s a deli sandwich. It is a guided, collaborative process that occurs in the moment and which depends on fine distinctions. It cannot be prepackaged.

You would presume and expect that a chain that differentiates itself still on high quality, customer-service orientation, and training would be a place you could get a sandwich better than the ones at the liquor store.

We, the undersigned, urge Wegmans to reject mediocrity,take one stand against the commoditization of the human experience, and restore the ministry and practice of live sandwich making to the DC Wegman’s.”