“Dear PoPville,
We went out to our car today and found that someone had put a bunch of dog (hopefully?) poop under both of our door handles, passenger and driver side. This happened on Ontario Rd near the Harris Teeter in Adams Morgan.
The only thing we could thing is was that admittedly my parking that day wasn’t great, but still good enough that people could get by.
Next time I’d prefer a passive aggressive note on the windshield.”