Washington, DC

hahaha thanks to Jen for sending: “this cat tree craigslist post brightened my day”

Super Ridiculous Cat Tower – $75

Our ridiculous human (Ben) bought us this cat tower. Doesn’t he know we’d rather have a soft, unmade bed than a cat condominium? Who does he think we are? We’re not the kind of cats who enjoy clawing at one of 7 scratching posts (the sofa is just fine, thank you).

And we’re never going to climb to that wonderfully cozy nap den in the sky. Or paw at the pom-pom ball on the top level! We have dignity! These pleasures are for lesser (perhaps, younger) cats. Just give us a bed and a ray of sunshine. We need nothing more.

Please purchase this cat tower for your cat, and get it out of our house. It’s an Armarkat B5701, stands 57 inches tall, 28 inches wide, and 25 inches deep. In other words, it’s 39,900 cubic inches of pure indignity. Far beneath us. Deliver us from this travesty.

George and Lucy”


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