“I called you a f***ing homophobe.”

“Dear PoPville,

At about 4:35 P.M. Tuesday, I was standing on the northeast corner of 14th St and Rhode Island Ave NW, about to cross 14th street to go to Shake Shack. A woman with short hair was traveling on a bicycle southwest down Rhode Island (we had the light). A man on a bike riding north on 14th street cut across Rhode Island Ave despite the fact that he had a red light. That man cut both me and the short haired woman off while riding north. The woman said something like “what the fuck dude” to the man. He replied with “shut the fuck up you fucking dyke.”

So this set me off. The woman biked away west on Rhode Island, but as the man biked away north I screamed at him. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was not very nice and involved several mentions of him being a “fucking homophobe.” The man turned his bike around and came south towards me. Then he grabbed his U-lock and held it in his hand, waving it in the air in a threatening manner. As he got to within a couple feet of me he said “what the fuck did you just call me?” And I did not move and, with my hands at my sides (as they were the whole time) replied “I called you a fucking homophobe.” He then turned back around and biked off to the north. But he must have turned around again, because as I was about to enter Shake Shack, I saw him about 20 yards up on the sidewalk (kind of near Players Club). Then I walked up to him.

On the sidewalk, we continued our less-than-playful banter. His U-lock was still in his hand. He asked me what my fucking problem was and why this was any of my business. I replied that I went to Georgetown University and was personally insulted that he was wearing a Georgetown visor and Georgetown windbreaker while saying such hateful things (though to be honest that wasn’t really my concern, my concern was the hateful things!). At this point a gentleman who was standing next to his car parked in the southbound 14th St bike lane admonished us to stop fighting; specifically telling me that “this guy’s not worth it” but noting that the man did indeed menace me with the U-lock. As I pulled out my phone to take a video of the man on the bike, he turned away and rode off.

After I calmed down and ate a shroom burger, I realized that what that man did was illegal. While it is perfectly legal (but totally awful) to call someone a fucking dyke, it is not legal to menace me with a weapon; in this case the U-lock. So I went to the Third Police District substation and asked to report a crime. An officer listened to my story behind the glass barrier and eventually came back to me with a piece of paper bearing the report number (18-122078). I asked if he thought I would be contacted by a detective. He told me that there was likely little they could do, because I did not know who the man on the bicycle was. I noted that there was another witness who was parked in the bike lane, and maybe there was video somewhere of that license plate number to interview that witness. The officer then gave me a look akin to the look that the Dude got in “The Big Lebowski” when he asked if the police had any leads on his stolen vehicle. “Oh yeah, they’ve got us working in shifts.” Overall the MPD officer was very professional, but I got the district impression that he gave zero fucks about this incident.”