I Swear to God they said that! “Who hurt you, baby? Who done you wrong?” edition

The quote that created the new title for our series:

At the RNC meeting at the Washington Hilton:

“Chinese Americans really love Bushes”

Cmon let’s be friends!

As overheard on the 70 bus:

“Elderly woman to the security guard while trying to charm her way out of paying for the bus: Who hurt you, baby? Who done you wrong?”

Ride with me, bro.

On a Saturday afternoon in January, as an ambulance screams along 10th St. NW toward U St., a guy in his 20s (no earbuds) takes his time crossing 10th, making the ambulance slow down.

As the guy gets to the other side of the street, a voice from the ambulance megaphone blasts out: “Next time you don’t get out of the way, you’re riding with me, bro.”

Many more after the jump.

But does it apply to the films?

Two young women walking down 14th St:

“Skiing is like a Harry Potter book–if you don’t start young you wont get it.”

Irony is dead, Spiderman lives.

“Hey, hey, you’re carrying very expensive stuff. It’s ironic.” –bro, unironically, to his pal carrying grocery bags out of the Foggy Bottom Trader Joe’s.

Guy in Mt Pleasant, telling his woman friend about a recent party: “There were only, like, two people dressed up. One was a wired Spider-Man costume, with his junk hanging out. It was basically, like, pajamas. Or whatever.”

Don’t even think about reading a Harry Potter Book

“I never imagined this thing called TEXTING people. I don’t know if I like it. It’s okay to text, ‘okay, I’m coming,’ but to ask, ‘what do you want for dinner,’ ugh.”
–older gentleman in an Adams Morgan playground

Back to reality.

Farragut north pm rush hour Tuesday red line metro driver:

“there’s a whole bunch a people on the platform, get ready to get smashed up”

Not that kinda mall.

Tourist looking at metro map (points to National Mall on map):

“Wait, I thought that was called Pentagon City.”

Life was easier with only jumbo slice.

Overheard in Mt. Pleasant, a woman to some poor food delivery guy (probably Uber Eats) bringing her two &Pizzas:

“Umm . . . how am I supposed to know which one’s vegan and which one’s gluten-free?”

We’ve come a long way since the discman.

Walking past a group of high school aged kids.

“I found a bunch of pictures of us from 5th grade on my iPhone 1” To which my immediate internal response was “WHAT? Who gets an iPhone in 6th grade?” and then on to the crude realization that I am officially old.

Thanks to all who sent in entries last week. If you are officially old, or not, and overhear a funny convo or quote – please email it to [email protected] with “I Swear to God they said that!” in the title. If there are enough entries, we’ll post again next week.

Ed. Note: A brief timeline about the revival of posting overheard conversations in D.C. on a locally owned independent D.C. blog. DCist was shut down by their publisher on November 2, 2017. On February 6th, 2018 Bizzinger wrote in the morning rant/revel – “Rant: I really miss DCist’s Overheard in DC series. Can we have one on here?” I said sure. That afternoon I wrote Per Your Request – Let’s Resurrect DCist’s Overheard in DC series!!. Folks were excited, and I got a lot of entries. On February 7th the cool kids attacked me on twitter.

In a rare bout of weakness I retaliated. Normally I try to ignore but even I have my limits when confronted with absolute hypocrisy. I’ve moved on and remembered my mantra, you cannot win a twitter war, you cannot win a twitter war. Anyway, it turns out an ‘Overheard in DC’ twitter feed was started in January, not to be mistaken with the overheard on DC metro (started in 2011), by the guy who used to run the series for DCist. I had no idea. Good for you Andrew. Your DCist column was great. Like weather reports, I think there is room for your twitter feed, me and the metro guy if they ever start it up again.

Speaking of which it is interesting to point out, what my friend Sean notes: “I remember a zine in the 90’s called “if the shoe fits” that had an overheard in dc section too.” There is also a Overheard in New York website founded in 2000. But never mind that. This is all about good humor, and there is plenty of good humor to go around.

To make amends for my completely unintentional outrageous affront, I’ve come up the title ‘I Swear to God they said that!’ because I was laughing so hard at one entry emailed to me that I replied – did they really say that? And OP responded “I swear to God.” So all the credit in the world to Andrew Wiseman who ran a series called Overheard in DC for DCist from 2012-2017 and started a twitter feed in January called Overheard in DC.

Recent Stories

3054 Mount Pleasant Street, NW formerly Mount Pleasant Auto Thanks to Nat (and eric) for sending: “The fencing is down around the forthcoming Two Amys spot [Ed. Note: Bar Del…

Thanks to Sam for sending: “Corgis* in backpacks* on metro* — except actually” ***This series features any pets in a backpack/bag/vessel. On metro, or not. Corgi, or not, and often…

3100 14th Street, NW From a press release: “Burlington Stores, Inc., a national discount retailer offering low prices every day on brand name merchandise for the entire family and home,…

Thanks to M. for sending: “Just saw this morning, New Rule at the DC USA.”

You are cordially invited to the Washington Opera Society’s exclusive Christmas/Hannukah Party!

We are pleased to welcome our great opera stars to the company!

Juliette Di Bello, Manuela Tomasz Korossy, Kristin Sampson from the NY City Opera Company, and Kevin Short of the Metropolitan Opera.

Don’t miss this unique holiday concert of seasonal favorites and hit arias from the operatic repertoire sung by our cast of stellar singers. Maestro Benichou will bring his infectious energy as he leads the WOS Festival Ensemble in an evening sure to remember. Glad tidings!

Read More

Submit your own Announcement here.

You are cordially invited to the Embassy of Austria for a thrilling evening with Mozart. What a better way to spend Christmas and Hannukah! Our full orchestra and lead singers, some of whom sing at the Met, will appeal to teens as they begin their journey to the classics! We expect to be sold out soon…..
Get your tickets now!

Under the Gracious Patronage of H.E. Petra Schneebauer, Ambassador of Austria
Julien Benichou, Conductor

Kevin Short as Figaro
Manna K. Jones as Susanna
Stephen Powell as Count Almaviva
Laquita Mitchell as Contessa
Anna Kelly as Cherubino
Maggie Polglaze as Barbarina
John Gibney as Bartolo
Leah Heater as Marcellina
Christopher Jon Hartung as Antonio & Don Curzio
Narration provided by Robin Phillips
Embassy of Austria
3524 International Court NW
Washington, DC 20008
Doors Open/Cocktails 6:30 pm
Performance including Intermission 7:15 pm
Wine Reception with Heavy Hors d’oeuvres 9:15 to 10:30 pm
Box Seats $250
Orchestra Reserved $150
Unreserved $125
Seniors (over 65 years old) Unreserved $80 [sold out]
Students with ID $50
Cocktail Attire

Read More

Submit your own Announcement here.

Holiday Part with the Terrells

Join the Terrells and many other local artists for a holiday party at The Fillmore School in Georgetown from 6-8pm on Saturday, December 16th. There will be open studios, live music, chair massages, and local businesses with holiday specials. This

12 Beers of Christmas: Local Seasonals Tasting at metrobar

Join metrobar and the team at DC Beer for a taste of 12 holiday brews, all made in the DMV by your favorite local breweries! Your ticket gets you access to the afternoon tasting with 3oz pours of each of


Subscribe to our mailing list