It pains me that I can’t tell if this is a parody or not.

Thanks to Armando for passing on from Craigslist:

“Are you a beautiful woman who is struggling? Be my wife (Nova)

This is what i am looking for. I am tired of dating and having to do all this work to find Miss right. So we meet a couple of times then we get married. We can even lie to our families. I’m a 28 yr old professional with a very well paying job. I want us to get married have kids and live our lives with rules.

1. you may have a say in how our kids our raised but nothing about us.
2 you will be a stay at home Mom and do womanly chores I.e. cook, clean, sex, etc. You will be given a very nice weekly allowance for shopping for yourself.
3 You must work out I will get gym memberships for the both of us.
4 you must never ask or accuse me of cheating. I promise you I will not bring anything back home from the outside. On the flip side you must never sleep with another man.
5 you must be willing to sign a prenup agreement that my lawyer will write up.
6 if I tell you to do something you do it.

My promises

1 I will never hit you in anger or raise a hand in anyway towards you or our kids unless it is spanking.
2 I will provide all your needs and most of your wants for example just because you want a 20000 dollar bracelet doesn’t mean your going to get it although if you’ve been really good you probably will.
3 I will stay in good shape. I tore my acl about 9 months ago and have gained some weight but it’ll be gone soon.
4 I will never ask or do anything that will cause bodily harm to you.
So if you are interested in becoming my wife these are your requirements.
1 be over 21 and under 33
2 no stds
3 no kids
4 no drama

If this sounds like you email me and we will talk”