Washington, DC

“Dear PoPville,

After matching on Bumble, we exchanged some messages and he informed me that he had a lot going on and didn’t have a lot of time to meet up. I asked in return why he was on a dating app if he didn’t have time to meet up. This inquiry unleashed a tirade of personal attacks on me and my weight, including the message you see attached here. He went on to say that he was obviously way out of my league but he decided to give me a chance because he’s a “humble” guy and I seemed like a smart girl. What a charmer!

I am very transparent about my size on the dating app, with two full-length photos of my body among my profile photos and noting at the very top of my profile that I am very curvy (which I actually am!). In addition, when I match with a guy on Bumble, I usually wait for at least 12 hours before starting a conversation so that the guys who swipe without looking at the profiles/photos have time to review my profile and un-match me when they realize I’m “fat” (happens a lot!).

What I want to tell guys on the dating apps in DC is that we “overweight”/”fat” women do not need their pity swipes! If you’re not attracted to us as is, please just move along and leave us alone! At least in my case, I am not lacking any amount of attention from men in this area, and for pompous jerks like this guy to “pity swipe” me assuming that I must be “desperate” and should be grateful for any male attention because of my size is beyond patronizing.”


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