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This is so whack a title just can’t do it justice, just read the whole thing. Twice.

by Prince Of Petworth — June 2, 2017 at 4:30 pm 23 Comments

From MPD:

“2:00 pm – 3500 11th Street, NW (11th & Monroe Street Park) C1 reported that S1 approached him and asked to use his cell phone, when he refused S1 grabbed C1 and bit him on his right arm. C1 pushed S1 away, S1 then picked up a brick, put it inside a sock and began swinging the brick at C1, without striking him. S1 threw the brick on the ground and fled the scene on foot.

C1 refused medical treatment.”

  • stacksp

    So C1 refused treatment because he wasn’t hit? The swing attempts missed/failed

    • PJL

      …but bitten by someone with an unknown medical history, which could easily cause an infection, etc.

  • ontarioroader

    In that park I think that’s just what’s called “Thursday”.

  • Colhi

    Did he have a sock with him, like an extra sock? Or did he take off his shoe and his sock and then put the brick in it?

    • textdoc

      This comment made me LOL when I read it.

    • Bright Woody

      This is exactly where my brain went too. Where did the sock come from?

  • Vicar

    Yeah it’s a bit live there – usually just yelling all day long. Mostly harmless.

  • Marty

    The part you didn’t include: “S1 is known to C1” is relevant here.

    • stacksp

      That is pretty clear. They will be tossing back beers later on

  • bruno

    A “biter” roamed Adams Morgan and environs ten or so years ago. Bit my coworker…. apropos infectious disease, biting’s no joke.

  • rm

    i find it insane the number of piles of bricks i see around this city. why are they allowed to be stacked up and stored on public walkways, where people can pick them up and use them as weapons?

    • Robert

      Better question, why would you choose to,live anywhere where someone would even consider weapon selection among found objects? Or any weapons at all? You must really love DC.

      • Caroline

        I have lived in this very neighborhood for 8 years. It has a great community and I love it! Every neighborhood has positives and negatives. This one has more positives.

    • anon2

      yeah, they should leave piles of socks around.

      • FridayGirl

        ha! +1

    • Truxtoner

      Well, when they were redoing the water lines in my neighborhood and dug up the brick sidewalks, they piled them up by the tree boxes. One night a woman pulled up in a mini-van and just started stealing them all until I yelled at her. So, if she has her way, perhaps you’ll see fewer piles of bricks laying around. I didn’t know at the time she was just trying to make the neighborhood safer.

  • Sfisch

    How did Kellyanne let Donald escape his leash again?

  • Squire of the Squangle

    If you like this, you’ll love Police Reports Illustrated:

    http://www.thestranger.com/authors/17021500/callan-berry

  • crayons

    I really like the little train playground for my little girl, but there’s always weird stuff happening there.

  • Joshua

    Keeping Columbia Heights “edgy” in 2017.

  • Bort

    It’s “wack.” “Whack” is what one does to e.g. -a-mole, or what the guy swinging the sock with a brick in it tried to do to the other guy.

    • textdoc

      +1. The spelling here should be “wack,” as in “So many wack MCs, you get the TV bozack / Ain’t even gonna call out your names ’cause you’re so wack.”

  • Jay

    I’m confused. After being bitten why would you wait for someone to stuff a brick into a sock and swing it at you?

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