Washington, DC


Wayan on the scene with the details:

“May 10 – For Immediate Release – Grant Circle, Petworth

At 1am on Tuesday morning, an unidentified driver achieved a new inadvertent parking record for Grant Circle. While speeding southbound on New Hampshire Avenue NW, they were surprised by the appearance of Grant Circle, an established neighborhood landmark, and instead of proceeding around the Circle, attempted to bisect it.

While they we unsuccessful in creating a new shortcut through the Circle, they did achieve a new distance record, almost reaching the inner sidewalk before stopping.

Sadly, they killed a tree in the process, cutting short a life of promise. Area residents were shocked by the loss and have vowed to badger the National Park Service for a replacement, hopefully with reflective bark.

DC parking enforcement arrived shorty after the police, noting that Grant Circle is a No Parking Zone. [Yes, I swear that really happened!]”


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