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Well, This is an Awkward Property Listing

by Prince Of Petworth August 17, 2015 at 4:10 pm 18 Comments

odd listing

Well – have a look at the listing for 217 15th Street, Southeast:

Hi I am called ‘To Sweventien’, yes I have had some work done & I hang out near Mass Av& E Cap I have attributes, hardwood flrs,newer AC, hot H20,gas cookn, white Kit Cab & 2 nice baths. My roofie, needs some work,but ther’s $10k 2 help w/ that..take me ‘As Is..but kno we can grow well togethr. Some cuzns hav had Bo-Top, if u want take me up a level, Im OK as a Tri. Room in back 4 ur auto.”

For the curious – it’s yours for $540,000.

  • GBinCH

    Terrible photos as well! Do we really need two close ups of the hardwood floor?

  • HouseguyDC.com

    Really proud of those floors.

  • Anon. No. 5

    “Apparently the synthetic drug problem has reached Tom Faison.” — MPD

    • exiledinarlington

      WIN

      • textdoc

        +1!

    • annonny

      YES! Lay off the Scooby Snax, T-Bone!

  • RCS

    Synthetic marijuana strikes again

  • dat

    TERRIBLE photos that show almost nothing.

    Are they just listing so they don’t get hit with vacant property tax?

  • Anonymus

    C-2-A zoned? This will go to a developer.

  • Josh

    What the hell?

  • kk

    Hi I am called ‘first time homebuyer’ and yes, I am young with good credit and earning capacity. I hang out walking distance to the metro and would like to meet a nice house like you to build a future together.

    Unfortunately, your lack of full body shot make me think that you have some things to hide. Don’t you think for the price you should have more than hot running water, gas cooking and room to grow? I guess what I’m saying is that I’m just not that into you or your “cuzns” but I do wish you luck in your future endeavors. I’ll be moving to the suburbs now, where I won’t be robbed by 11 year olds on synthetic marijuana. It’s not you, it’s me, good luck with your roofie.

    • AG

      I actually LOLed at the roofie bit.

    • MVT

      swipe left

    • textdoc

      It wasn’t until after reading this comment and re-reading the original posting that I realized that “‘To Sweventien” was supposed to be some kind of lisping phonetic approximation of “Two Seventeen.” I was thinking sweh-VENN-tee-enn.

  • anahn

    hewwo,

    eye’m a 16teen yr old girl n eye have lots of fun celling houzes. lyke dis if u cri everytym.

  • sbc

    another one of the realtor’s listings (I think the key word of it is the last one):

    “This is your chance to slip in 4 what it takes 2 rent, w/ $10,000 help for starters, u have little excuse unless the dog ate ur shoes. Walk 2> metro, capture ur future. Tweak the property now or later. Massive Bonus addition w/ entrance,likewise 4 the basement w/Kit space;so u might bring a ‘person of interest’ or team up &conquer. Hardwood Floors Parking for 2 in rear-maybe rent a space 4 $? Run!”

    • textdoc

      I think this person is aspiring to be Tom Faison. (Well, a younger, more “urban” version of Tom Faison.)

  • quincy dude
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