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  • Tim Y.

    “OK kids, this is day 1 of “Toddler Hipsters” training class. Today, we ride bikes that have no pedals because that is cool. Someday, you will ride bikes with no gears. Let’s ride!”

    • Nelle

      YES.

  • Victor Barcelona

    “Damian, take Keith and Connor and clear out Child’s Play. Kristen, go with Mitch to teach the folks at Labyrinth a lesson. I’ll take the rest to Sullivan’s and we’ll control all the toys in DC!”

  • NorthbyNE

    “Welcome to your first day of DC Bike Academy…Lesson One: The Stop Sign. It means go!”

  • Dane

    After taking a wrong turn off the Yellow Brick Road, Dorothy found out what happened to those who washed out of the Lollipop Guild.

  • Beau

    Anticipation, fear, and mischief crept upon Chad in equal measure as he readied his designer wooden bicycle for the race. He stared at the megaphone. So tantalizingly close. Fantasy and a semblance of a plan began to merge into an amorphous yet pointed desire. Yes, today would be the day. Today, Chad would ride the wind as a modern day miniature Poncharello. And if he could only steal that megaphone, he had the perfect siren to pull all of those sexy ladies over.

    • Beau

      With his partner-in-crime literally asleep at the wheel, Chad knew he had to be fast. Gary loved his green stripes, but he loved sleep more.
      “The four-year old in the green onesie is a known wild card,” he reasoned.
      “If I can get a head start, she’ll make sure all hell breaks loose.”
      Hell.
      Chad knew that place too well. He wasn’t going back there. The incessant screaming and crying. The forced naps.
      The damned sing-alongs. Kindergarten was a place to grow old and die. It was a place that sucked the life out of you. You know who likes kindergarten? Phonies. The bear didn’t go over the mountain to see what he could see. He went over the mountain to see another mountain because life is about new experiences, new challenges, and sweet, delicious liberty.

      Chad looked at the megaphone. He knew he had to act and act fast.

  • Blithe

    After reading all of the comments about cyclists vs pedestrians vs drivers on PoPville, DDOT teamed up with DEL to proactively address the need for training even our youngest citizens to properly use DC’s new bike lanes.

  • Rae

    “Ugh, she must know jorts are so last season.”

  • AnonG

    Can anyone recommend the best bike route for my commute from the playground to the cafeteria?

  • Anonymous

    “and after you master the bike lane, I’m going to teach you how to curse at drivers.”

  • Ck

    A more meritocratic approach to pk3 school choice.

    • Mase

      +1

  • ScienceTeacher

    After hearing about how well child soldiers worked to for Kony, WABA decided that they were the next frontier in the War on Cars.

    • Anonymous

      +1

    • Nelle

      Definitely the best so far.

    • Anonymous

      ugh I hate myself for laughing at this.

      +100

      • ScienceTeacher

        Thanks. I hate myself for having thought it up.

    • EJM

      Winner.

  • PG

    Runts of Anarchy

  • yarul445

    Ladies and gentlemen, doping will not be accepted. YOU will be asked to submit a pee test at the end of this race…now, on your mark….

  • Tim

    WABA opens a new front on the war on cars.

  • Alex

    MPD has identified the newest gang roaming the local school playgrounds as the ‘Lil Tykes.’ Be on the look out for this gang usually seen on big wheels or bikes with training wheels. Please keep your juice boxes, fruit roll ups and gummy bears out of site a. And as always, be aware of your surroundings.

  • Matt

    “Let’s get ready to rummmbbbblllllllllle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  • ZNW

    This Memorial day: Rolling Romper Room

  • Mug of Glop

    Nice to see some Maryland drivers actually enrolling in the advanced courses.

  • dcreal

    Good afternoon boyz and girls! Today you will demonstrate your skills to prove if you are ready to become part of the “12 O’Clock Boyz” crew. Please place your feet on the pedals…

  • Alan

    DCPS, eager to eliminate parent anxiety about pre-K slots, announced a fairer way for students to get in: The Tricycle Hunger Games.

    • KSB

      +1

  • fellowpetworthian

    They see me rollin
    They hatin
    Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
    Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

  • Allison

    Timmy suddenly regretted stuffing his face with chocolate cake and wearing his favorite green T-shirt on the day of the big race.

  • Anonymous

    Use the damn bike lane!!!!

  • Anony

    “Suburbanite drivers showing their true colors”

  • Anonymous

    After the success of Bike to Work Day, organizers decided to roll out Bike to Preschool Day.

  • “Officer, I saw them speeding down Rhode Island Avenue – blowing through red lights and stop signs, and even crossing over the barrier on GOING THE WRONG WAY!”

  • you in the green.. pick that helmet up! no sleeping on the job! and wipe off that drool!

  • andy2

    The fiercest little biker gang in DC

  • While adorable, the inaugural Tour de Tyke was not quite the success WABA imagined it would be.

  • Anonymous

    Ok, Jimmy, heads up! Time to bust those bike-lane-blocking cop’s asses!

  • russellupton

    “Alright. We’re gonna have a clean race today. I see we already have one drop out. Chunk – none of the rough stuff this time. Woodie – what happens on the track stays on the track, ok? Wheels – you plannin’ to run this thing or ride it? Butterfly – where’s your damn helmet?”

  • Kbikeva

    Because we all need more balance in our lives.

  • “Man, DC Bike Party really is a young crowd…”

  • Dcislander

    Shoot!! Is it Memorial Day already? We’ve got to get these hogs down to rolling thunder ASAP!

  • Murdock

    WABA’s Tyke to Work Day

  • G

    Uh oh. Juicebox doping control has arrived at the Tour de DCPS.

  • Anonymous

    Test #3 in the entrance exam for the high-end daycare academy

  • Seb

    The House Congressional Leadership hard at work during its most recent recess.

  • LoganCircleGal

    Training the next generation of PoPville commentors. Ready… Set… Opinionate!

  • anon

    “Hipsterism is being taught younger and younger these days”

  • albany

    12 O’Clock Boys and Girls daycare don’t care.12 O’Clock Boys and Girls don’t give a s**t!!

  • Crystal

    The (congressional) races of 2054 have begun!

  • jim_ed

    Sarah was heartbroken when her scene for scene recreation of DMX’s Ruff Ryders Anthem failed to go viral.

  • saf

    ATV kids in training!

  • Formerly Broken Jaw

    The Francis-Stephens Junior John Rambo squad on dog patrol.

  • (In the voice of Phil Liggett)
    And it’s Cavendish taking it at the line. The Manx Missile was not going to be stopped today. Sagan and Boonen will have to try again tomorrow.

  • ARP

    No caption. But looks like someone needs to give the kid on the bottom left a breathalyzer test.

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