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Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

by Prince Of Petworth April 24, 2013 at 10:00 am 152 Comments

Photo by PoPville flickr user TheRobbStory

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

  • Rave: Technology. I was able to moon a scattered group of friends by using text message. Made my damn day.

    Rave: Made their damn days too.

    Question: One pal upped the ante with a tit shot, what does one call that?

    • Anonymous


      • Except it’s all silliness. We used to live together and would moon & flash each other all the time because silly. Also 1 girl used to scream and it was hilarious. When she got used to it she quit screaming and there was much less nakedness in the house.

        • Anonymous

          But I thought the premise of mooning & flashing is that it happens so quickly that the victim doesn’t get a chance to get a good look at it. You can’t replicate that with texting, where they can stare at it forever.

          • Good point. But sex still isn’t involved, so I don’t think sexting is the right word.

          • Anonymous

            Isn’t there some app The Kids are using these days that makes the photo vanish after it’s been seen?

          • maria

            yeah, you are supposed to use Snapchat for nekked pictures. You set how long the receiver of the message can view it for – 5, 10 or more seconds.

          • ^ That doesn’t really work when you can just take a screenshot of the image on your phone, with most devices.

          • Yeah, but Snapchat alerts you to the fact that someone took a screenshot of it. Not that this is necessarily a deterrent, but at least you know it happened.

        • ah

          Kids think it’s all fun and games too . . . until their junk is posted all over the internet.

        • Remember when everyone was listing which PoPville poster they had a crush on? I would like to say that I have a girlcrush on @emmaleigh!

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know what to call it, but please share those pictures!

      • Trust me, you do not want to see my pale and pasty ass :) And the other pic is not mine to share.

    • Anonymous

      I took a bad spill a while back, resulting in The Most Impressive Bruise Ever. The real tragedy, IMO, was that it was located such that I couldn’t show it to people. I mean, I showed my husband, but he’s not easily impressed by that sort of thing. Kind of sorry now that I didn’t at least take the picture, for purposes of maybe sharing at a later date.

      • I ALWAYS take pictures b/c my mom and I like to compare colors of our bruises. Then I end up showing other people and posting it to facebook. My parents were/are hippies, naked doesn’t bother me, it’s my natural state :)

  • Anonymous

    Rant: I wish my back was as strong as those bridge spans! Just the simple act of bending over this morning, immediate lock up – pain. Ugh.

    Rave: Chiropractors.

  • Being anon for this

    Long rant that I need to get off my chest: At least three times a day my partner complains about how our house is not wide enough and we need to buy a new one. It’s a beautifully restored 3-bedroom 3-level Victorian in one of the best locations in the city. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and we’ve only been here 2 years. In fact, we spent more than 2 years house-hunting before we found it, and now she’s ready to pick up and move again because “We could get something bigger for only $100k more.” Where I come from we stay in a house unless we need to relocate, and $100k is hardly a drop in the bucket, but her family is obviously richer than mine. I feel like we have more house than we need, but from her perspective we’re living in a tiny suffocating shoebox. Instead of appreciating the beauty of our neighborhood she’s constantly pointing out the bigger houses and comparing them to ours. I read about incidents like the building collapse in Dhaka and find her lack of gratitude infuriating. Even well-off friends in DC admire our house. Even her mom with all her money and her three houses raves about our house. My partner is the only one who wants something bigger and more expensive. It’s driving me crazy, and I think her lack of appreciation is the reason she’s so miserable all the time. Being the solutions-oriented person that I am I keep trying to suggest things that could mitigate her complaints (“maybe if we rearrange the furniture or paint the walls lighter the room will seem bigger”) but I know that’s not addressing the root of the problem. We’ve rearranged furniture again and again but she’s still not satisfied. Even if we did get a bigger house I’m sure she’d get bored with it quickly and want to move to an even bigger house and it will be a neverending cycle.

    • Anonymous

      Have you talked to her about it? Not the rearranging the furniture or painting the walls lighter stuff, but the bigger issues? Sounds like you’re both pretty unhappy.

      • Being anon for this

        Yes, many times.

    • Anonther

      Encourage her to move while you stay in the house. Two problems solved.

      • Being anon for this

        I’ve threatened to do this is she’s serious about moving. I’m willing to compromise on a lot of things, but I’m not giving up the house I love just to get a little more square footage.

        • Anonymous

          do you have a porch or outdoor space? start using it or do the reno! not to be flip but the outdoors are pretty large.

          • Being anon for this

            We have TWO patios that are very nice! And our neighborhood has a lot of wonderful parks that I consider an extension of our home. But it doesn’t matter to her when there are other people around us with bigger nicer houses.

    • anon

      Any chance she’s depressed? Sounds like the house is really a proxy for bigger issues. Agree with anon @10:10 that it might be time to talk to her about it, and maybe talk to an independent third party. Sounds like no fun at all. I’m sorry.

      • Being anon for this

        She does have depression that she’s getting help for (and plenty of support from me), and I agree that her dissatisfaction with the house is partly a reflection of her dissatisfaction with her job and with herself. But I also think she’s materialistic and lacks an understanding of how much better off she is than 99% of the world. Her family comes from a third world country, and she travels there often and sees the poverty firsthand, but it doesn’t seem to have an impact on her.

        • If that’s the case, no matter how big a mansion you get, the problem will remain. I would try going minimalist and instead of re-arranging furniture, get rid of as much stuff as you can.

          • Being anon for this

            We’re doing that too. She and her mom need stuff to furnish the condo they just bought in Florida, so whatever we get rid of can be used there.

        • anon

          Ah. I see. My mother came from a very poor background. Not from a developing country, but often didn’t have food to eat when she was a kid. When she was an adult (and still in her 70s) she dealt with severe feelings of inadequacy that she funneled into an over the top need for material things. She just never felt like it was enough. So much of her self worth was tied up in what she did (her job) and what she had (her house and possessions) to show that she overcame her horrible start to life. Maybe this is part of the house thing for your wife? I’m glad your wife is getting help – maybe she can raise this with her therapist?

          • Being anon for this

            No, she grew up much better off than me, and I had a very nice middle class childhood that I can’t complain about. Her parents were the ones that immigrated here and it was more for career opportunities than financial reasons (they both came from upper-class families).

        • Anonymous

          Have you thought about going to a therapy session together, for couple’s counseling?

    • OatsDC

      Could you build on to your existing home? Like a pop-up or something. That would add the space your partner wants but would keep you in the house/location you like.

      • Being anon for this

        It’s in a historic district so we can’t do a pop-up (not that I’d want one anyway) and we’d lose our backyard if we added to the back. And she’d still think it’s not big enough.

    • Anonymous

      That’s pretty much the definition of “entitled”.
      Get her ass into therapy. It sounds like there’s a lot of underlying unhappiness and she’s trying to replace mental contentment and peace-of-mind with material possessions.

      Just because you can afford something doesn’t mean you should buy it. The rich stay rich because they don’t frivolously spend money.

      • Being anon for this

        You can’t just get someone to go to therapy. She considers herself to be very religious and spiritual so maybe I need to encourage her to be more in touch with that side.

        • anon

          True that you can’t make someone go to counseling. If she’s in touch with a faith community, can you tell her that you know she’s unhappy, that you want to work on it but aren’t willing to move at this point, but that you’re willing to talk to her [insert appropriate head of religion here] with her to try to work on some of this?

          Or maybe just making an appointment for counseling for yourself – having a neutral third party to talk to can really help. The counselor can also give you some coping techniques for dealing with this issue and for navigating how you feel about it – whether it really is just about this one thing (her carping about the house) or is a bigger problem.

          Whatever you do, I wish you well.

    • Anonymous

      Sounds like it’s time for you to have the difficult conversation with yourself. If she really is this materialistic and that impinges on your own quality of life (having to move every 2 years, etc.) and is a character you find unappealing, are you sure this is the person to make a life with? It sounds like it runs deeper than her depression so is unlikely to ever change, and it’s not a trivial difference like where you squeeze the toothpaste that you can (or should) just look past.

      • Anonymous

        I have a feeling that the OP will have to move out of the house, if they end the relationship. Sounds like the in-laws put up the money for the house.

        Either way, the OP still has the same problem (must move out of a place they love).

        Hey OP, any chance you guys might want to buy a vacation house outside the city? There are plenty of affordable places on the Chesapeake. Getting your wife outside the city on the weekends might be really good for her mental health and alleviate some of these issues.

        • Anonymous

          OK, so the OP has to move either way. But if s/he stays with the status-seeker, s/he looks forward to a lifetime of listening to gripes about whatever aspect of their lives not being adequate, continued moves, etc. If the relationship ends, they have the opportunity to find someone with more compatible values.

          • Being anon for this

            Moving out’s not a huge deal if it comes to that (yes, I do love the house but I wouldn’t mind something smaller and would even be happy in a group house as long as it’s in the city). But I’d like to think we can work through this disagreement.

        • Being anon for this

          No, we bought the house together.

          • Anonymous

            Also, she and her mom just bought a condo in Florida; does that count as a vacation house? I can’t afford to buy more property with her myself.

      • Anonymous

        I have found that sometimes you have to pointedly and determinedly ignore your partner. It is really an important technique in constructing a way for you to keep yourself separate, while giving your partner the freedom to air their perspective. You say mmhmm, and move on, since you both know how you feel.

        OTOH, some people are naturally restless, so perhaps the 2 of you could immerse yourself in a good community organization who could use her time and money.

        • Being anon for this

          Great advice. :) I need to just let it go, I think.

      • Being anon for this

        I swear she wasn’t this bad when we started dating 5 years ago. I guess she’s always been more materialistic than I am, but most people are. She’s approaching 40 so maybe she feels like she doesn’t have as much as she should at this point. She’s also having some possible medical issues and just left a very stressful job which could be exacerbating these thoughts. She’s home a lot during the day and is thinking about it more. I’m hoping this surge of house envy is something that will abate with time.

        • Anonymous

          Do you have any kids or a need for more than three bedrooms? My husband and I moved into a two bedroom rowhouse in DC. I often wish we had three to grow into, but if we did have a three bedroom, the house would feel empty.

          Maybe she just isn’t equipped for DC-small living lifestyle.

          • Being anon for this

            Just a couple of small dogs and neither of us wants kids. We used to rent a townhouse her mom owns in the suburbs and it wasn’t that much bigger. It always felt smaller to me because there was nowhere to walk once you stepped outside. Prior to that she lived in her condo, which is fairly large with 2 bedrooms but is still a condo and also in the suburbs. So she ought to be used to small places by now. I don’t consider our house small by any means, anyway.

    • babble


    • Definitely sounds like there are other issues here, but aside from that, can you build a basement?

      • Being anon for this

        We already have an English basement.

        • KenyonDweller

          Do you have a tenant? (sorry if I missed the answer elsewhere.) If the choice is shelling out another $100k and moving or foregoing rent in the basement, perhaps it’s worth reclaiming your basement for extra living space.

          • Being anon for this

            It’s not a separate apartment; that’s where our kitchen and dining room are. Anyway I’m not trying to move out. We get along great otherwise!

          • Being anon for this

            … And I should add that she’s probably not serious about moving. She’s very picky, and I think she’d be surprised by how much prices have gone up recently. So I’m not really looking for a contingency plan, just a way to cope with her very negative way of thinking. It’s not good for her.

          • How long has it been since you had a nice vacation?

            Maybe take the $100K (or realistically some small portion of that) and go away for a month somewhere relaxing like Bali, where you can stay for cheap and spend some $ on spa treatments.

    • Anonymous

      Let her find, pay for the down payment and the move into a new place and rent this one out as an investment property. If Mommy is not happy, nobody is happy.

    • Like others have said… it sounds like the house-related issues are to some extent proxy for other issues.

      Have you two tried couples counseling?

    • Annx

      I’d suggest it isn’t particularly helpful to try and solve the problem for her. Better course is to empathize (yes, I understand you think it’s too small) without trying to fix it.

      When you pose possible solutions (what about this, what about that) it allows her to say no and no and no.

      I agree with the chorus of PoPsters who say that moving to a bigger house isn’t the answer. If she isn’t interested in counseling, you should still make an appointment for yourself.

  • Anonymous

    Rant: People on crowded metro trains who insist on sitting in the aisle seat then give you a dirty look when you say “Excuse me” so you can take the window seat. If standing up to let someone sit is such an inconvenience, why not just move over to the window?!

    • My forever rant, along with people who stand in the metro doors.

    • In those situations, I’m totally the person who makes them move, regardless of how many seats are open elsewhere. It’s the price they pay for being rude.

      • Anonymous

        Ha, glad to know I’m not the only person that does this!

    • ESPECIALLY when they pretend to be asleep (usually window seaters who have personal property on the aisle seat). UGH. I know you’re not sleeping, your ear phones are turned to 11.

      And the door crowders? WTF? So many times at work, large men (for some reason, that’s all it ever is where I get on to head home from work who do this) just STAND there like a-holes.

      • b

        large men stand there becuase they are lazy. Heaven forbid they had to walk an extra 10 steps.

        • oops – I didn’t just mean overweight…I just meant large mean (tall/stocky, not overly fat….though some are).
          Like “I’m too big for a seat! A seat can’t contain all this!”

          • I would love a tee shirt that said that.

      • The only time I’ve mentally forgiven a guy for sitting in the outside seat during rush hour was because he was like 8 feet tall, and definitely could not cram his legs into the inner seat. He got up to let me in, and I totally understood why he kept the outside seat.

    • sv

      Worse when they won’t even stand up, they just sort of shift in their seat and make you practically climb over them. I’m usually a civil person, but when I encounter a metro aisle seat parker, I make sure that my purse or gym bag “accidentally” bonks them as I squeeze past.

      • Anonymous

        I totally did that today. The guy in the aisle seat just moved his legs a little, so I had to step over him, carrying a baby. I glared at him first.

        • Wow that’s pretty bad. I too always make sure I fall on them or brush up against people who stand in the doors or don’t let me easily exit the inside seat. I also pick where I’m gonna sit by who has their stuff in a seat. I “woke” a guy up yesterday to make him move his stuff.

          • annonsy

            Haha I do that too!

  • Anonymous

    Rant: My boss left and they gave me half of her responsibilities and a ton more work, but no raise.

  • JoeEsq74

    Rave – School Without Walls & Benjamin Banneker High School

  • Anonymous

    OK, so I hear a thump and some drawers opening early this morning. I live in a row house so I think nothing of it, just murmur something to the wife about how it seems like the neighbors are in our house.

    A few minutes later, my wife gets up, not sure what’s going on, and goes and checks on our son in his crib. He’s 3 1/2, pretty big for a crib, but still fits and hasn’t complained about the bars. He’s awake, but wife says, “!a dormir!” and he closes his eyes.

    A few minutes later everybody wakes up, and he says he wants a waffle. So I lift him out of bed in his mismatched pajamas and get him downstairs for a toasted faux-Eggo.

    When I bring him upstairs with the waffle, wife asks, “did you put him in those pajama pants?”

    I say no – and then she says she didn’t either.

    Now, the night before, we put him in tracksuit pants he didn’t want to put on because he got the matching PJ pants wet. He’s been on a real kick now of only wanting to wear what he wants to wear and freaking out otherwise, so he was whimpering as we put him to bed.

    Turns out, my child climbed over the rail of the crib, got down safely, pulled the shorts he wanted out of the right drawer, took off the hated track pants, pulled on the shorts, got back over the crib rail, and into bed.

    All in time for my wife to come back and tell him “a dormir” early this morning.


    RANT: My kid can get out of his crib by himself!

    RAVE: I have a strong-willed, intelligent child!

    • Anonymous

      3 1/2 in a crib is a bit odd, no? Of course your kid can, he almost 4 years old! He should be reading by now too!

      • Irving Streete

        As long as I’m criticizing other people’s parenting, I’d like to suggest that expecting an “almost four” to be reading is classic yuppie striving behavior at its worst. Kids learn at their own rate, and force-feeding phonics is counterproductive. My kid had fits learning to read at five but went on to do so voraciously. Other friends have similar tales. Just keep books around, and read yourself, and they’ll be OK.

        (One thing about the internet — you can cast stones whether or not you’re without sin. I can’t help myself this morning.)

        • Hah, I totally couldn’t read at age 4, or even close to that. Today I’m in law school and doing pretty well, so I don’t think when your kid starts to read is any reliable measure of future success.

        • KenyonDweller

          When I was a kid back in the dark ages of the 1960s, no one even considered teaching me to read until I was in first grade. I remember clearly struggling through “See Jack Run.” I read just fine and have done ok in life, which is why I didn’t sweat it when my kid wasn’t reading at 4.

        • When I was that age my sister was in school and learning to read, so she decided to teach me! It didn’t work so well. But I learned eventually from a trained professional and now I have an advanced degree (sure she has a Phd, but she’s an over achiever).

          • saf

            When my little sister was that age, she got mad because I was learning to read and she wasn’t.

            She made me show her my books, and she learned to read in about a week.

          • Oh fine, rub it in :)

      • Anonymous

        “Should be” reading by 3.5? Someone has been hanging out on DCUM!
        (Hint: When on PoP, you do NOT have to lie about your children’s accomplishments or lack thereof.)

    • Irving Streete

      You have a 3-1/2 year-old sleeping in a crib? That’s a little surreal. You’re lucky he hasn’t disassembled it with a butter knife he found under a counter and his own teeth. He’s probably been playing Great Escape for two years by now, without you knowing it. He’s officially eligible for parole — take down the bars.

      • Anonymous

        Nothing wrong with still using a crib. Gives the boy a chance to work on his climbing skills, which come in handy so that they can toast their own waffles.

    • Anonymous

      Definitely time for a bed upgrade! Anyway, you can’t potty train a kid who can’t get to the bathroom at will, so it’s probably past time anyway.

      Yay for resourceful!

    • MaxwellTheCat

      That’s adorable… sounds like an industrious (and sneaky) kid!

    • Don’t listen to those people. I slept in a crib type bed (think it has a real name but its like a crib but bigger) until I was about 6. Granted I broke the rails/cage part because I used it to climb into the bed (it was high). My mom was not happy about that, but she’s the one who did not let me use her bed stairs.

      • Anonymous

        Our 4 year old is on a crib mattress, but we moved her into a toddler bed when she was about 2. Would be weird if a 3.5 year old could not climb out of a crib unless they had low-tone or other issues.

  • Rant: POP community making me feel like an old geezer for trying to date a 24 year old… :P

    Rant: Elevator etiquette… Let people from higher floors stand in the back, and don’t block the doors because you’re having a conversation about baking a cake… sheesh!

    Rant: Sending your opinion about something at work to a group and then being insulted by someone who you manage because they have a personal issue with you. I didn’t respond to it, I am told this is the best method, but damn it if I ain’t mad about it.

    • I think the proper term is “dirty old man”. I kid, I kid! If you both like each other, who cares.

      • Anonymous

        her Mom.

        • Anonymous

          her guidance counselor

          • Anonymous

            Geezerettes who know, intellectually, that they are far more interesting than 24 year olds, but still can’t get dates because the geezers are wasting all their time texting 24 year olds who are obviously jerking them around.

          • Anonymous

            Her pediatrician

          • I bought a house and a car when I was 24.. You can also be tried as an adult after 18. 24 is hardly an immature age, and probably as low as I’d go on the dating age scale… :P

      • Irving Streete

        Was out with a woman the other day who got carded. That was a dirty old man moment for sure.

        • Anonymous

          I’m 36 and get carded routinely. It no longer has anything to do with youthful looks, just more CYA.
          But even if I did look 20, jack5 and his ilk wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Being confident and successful is a bad thing for women in the dating game. The men seem to WANT coy and immature, it seems.

          • See! There yall go with the guilt trips! hahah…

            Who says I wouldn’t date you or older women?!… The last woman I dated was quite immature even though she was 34!

            This 24 year old graduated school early and is a working professional. She might even be smarter than me, though we have a tiny language barrier. She is quite down to earth, not a teenager at all. I only date one woman at a time, gotta see where this goes, otherwise I’d be dating someone else (age independently). Don’t worry though, I’m in no rush to get married.

          • dcladi

            27yr old here…just wanted to co-sign how true some of these statements are. I see it w/my “older” male friends dating women younger than me, confused about why they’re still single…Yet, I have several lady friends in their early 30’s that would be much better suited for said male friends that are too busy being distracted by girls. I don’t get it. What is the disconnect?

          • @dcladi

            I don’t think from a perspective of age. I didn’t know her age until 1/2 way into our first date… The rules of attraction vary per person, I am attracted to an intelligent woman who has a certain type of voice, a certain look, lots of culture, and wits. After all of that, the only thing left is the timing of where we meet and the mood that we’re in to create chemistry.

            You’d have to ask other single guys about their opinions, but age never entered my mind, I actually thought she was older than she ended up being because of her maturity, but she is asian, and some asian women look younger than they really are.

          • anon

            I started to get carded a lot more when I hit about 33. My theory is that they knew I was older and thought I’d feel flattered and give them a bigger tip.

          • Anonymous

            I think that might just have been when the rules changed and everyone started making a big show of how compliant their joint was.

        • maybe

          Did she have a fake ID? That is the pinnacle of dirty old man moments.

        • Out with a woman the other day? The single women of Popville are going to have to drink their sorrow away. *sob*

      • Dirty old man…or Sugar Daddy?

        • Irving Streete

          Sugar Daddy? Nah, she bought the symphony tickets, I bought the dinner. She is awfully young (and younger looking still), but interesting, successful and delightful.

          To be clear, though, she is a statistical anomaly, age-wise, and not part of a dubious pattern.

    • Age is not a problem, believe me.

      • Thanks, you and Emma made me feel like slightly less of a dirty old man. Hah.

      • anon

        Agreed. And if it matters, I’m a mid-30s female.

      • Actually, let me take half of that back :D . In my personal experience, age has been a problem when the lady is my age or less than 5 years younger I don’t think I’ve dated any woman older than me, and if I ever do, it will be Linda Carter. Hopefully she is a reader of PoP ( “call me ;) ” )

        • I would totally date Liz Hurley… The English accent gets me every time, who cares if she’s 50!?!

          • …and she is beautiful! I’ve just realized I probably ruined my chances with the Wonder Woman by spelling her name wrong. Lynda, not Linda. Oh well.

          • Anonymous

            Jack 5: I feel like you are looking for the wrong women and are immature about dating. First, you have multiple threads over multiple days about a woman who you want to be interested in you but clearly does not seem to be interested. Now, you are dating a 24 year old. I don’t want to be presumptious, but from your posts I’m guessing you are in your 40s? I’m just starting to sense a trend here….

        • Doesn’t Ms Carter live in Montgomery County or some place like that? You may get your wish! Invite me to the wedding or house warming or a party y’all throw!

    • Marcus Aurelius

      You are not a dirty old man for dating a 24 year old; you are foolish man for trying to date this particular 24 year old.

      • Yeah, I’ve only commented on it once and I wasn’t trying to make him feel like a dirty old man, but so far it sounds like her interactions with him are hesitant and immature. But clearly I don’t know the whole situation. I do think that that much of an age difference when she is that young is likely to be problematic, at least initially.

        I was pursued by a much older man when I was 25, and even though I thought he was “a catch,” ultimately I was kind-of creeped out by his attention, and pulled away. I was sending enough “I’m weirded out by this/not really into you” messages that he should have taken the hint, but he was persistent and occasionally I would cave and go out with him again. The way he described her behavior so far, I think it sounds like she’s pretty wary.

    • blithe

      First — I’d like to commend you for putting yourself out there — out here — which has given at least some of us the chance to re-visit our values and how they play out in the relationships and potential partners we choose.

      I’m struck, though, by the many men who “date” much younger women, who then appear surprised or dismayed when they act like the girls or much younger women that they really are. There’s a good chance that someone of roughly college age will have the interests, values, habits and peers of, well, someone of roughly college age. If that’s what you want — I say “Great” — as long as you leave the younger partner no worse off then they were when you found them. Often, though, I hear complaints from men that their potential dates are “immature”. Maybe. But maybe they’re just acting their age — in which case, you need to decide for yourself if that meets your interests as well.

      • A

        Cynical me thinks that the immaturity is actually a plus in a girl because it means she has low expectations from a relationship due to lack of self-esteem

  • Britt

    Rant/Rave: Stressful, important, difficult conversation with manager and co-worker regarding management. Ended up being productive and non-combative. Phew.

    Rant: Husband in NYC for work, without me.

    Rave: Kentucky on Friday!! I cannot wait :-D

  • a non mouse

    huge revel: someone close to me who’d recently been diagnosed with a very serious illness does not actually have it! He has something quite curable instead.

    rant/revel: not sure how to tell when it’s a good time to make a major life change–adopting a child, looking for a new job, etc. My life is really good now, and while making more money/being a parent sound attractive, they could also be stressful and not work out as expected. Glad to have a wonderful partner so we can make decisions like this as a team, but when I don’t even know what my own wishes are it’s hard to come to a consensus!

    • I don’t think there’s ever a good time to make potentially stressful huge-life decisions. You just have to make them (or not). And then, based on that decision, things will (hopefully) fall in to place and/or you’ll adapt.
      Follow what you think will make you happy, even if a little more stressed. There are outlets for stress, but so few things in life make us really happy.

  • Rant: Parkinsons and strokes. My Bubbie has/had both. When we announced the pregnancy, she was so excited. But then quickly forgot and kept saying, “what baby?” It’s just so sad. She remembers things from YEARS ago, but not 20 minutes. And I know it’s frustrating for her. She was always so stylish and in recent years we enjoyed Bubbie/grand daughter lunches….now, a walker, a home care nurse, and dependency – not at all what she would want her life to be.

    Rave: finally got my parents to adopt a dog – they got her sunday and are already in love. Night 3, she seemed to be enjoying sleeping in a king sized tempur-pedic bed with my folks.

    • Meg

      My grandmother is the same way. We think she may have gotten brain damage from a high fever or a stroke a couple years ago (she’s 97) and now she’s mostly bedridden, doesn’t talk unless asked a question and having round the clock care in a nursing home. We had a birthday party for her a few weeks ago and now she remembers she had a party, but can’t remember who was there or what it was for. It’s such a sad, drastic change from who she was just 5 years ago. Lively, poised and opinionated. Old age is a bitch.

    • I’m so sorry for your Bubbie. It was really difficult when my grandmother was dying of Alzheimer’s. Remember the good times, and maybe every now and then she will have a god day you can share. The last time I saw my Darling Gran she had a good day and it was wonderful! I now I have to go cry a little b/c I miss her.

  • Anonymous

    Not a rant or a rave, more of a musing. In “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” Johnny wins a fiddle made of gold. Why would anyone want one? To sell? Wouldn’t a solid gold fiddle be too heavy to play and wouldn’t one made of wood sound better? Any fiddle players have any answers or opinions?

    • Anonymous

      It sounds like something based on an Irish myth, and the devils/fairies always had stuff made of gold. it’s valuable/magical.

    • Anonymous

      The fiddle wouldnt hold up too well to the string tension, but it would probably be worth around $750,000 if he sold it…. so not bad for a day’s work

  • Anonymous

    Rant: Lost dog! Trying to post in the forum, but can’t. Will keep trying, but in the meantime, please keep an eye out for Waylon. He’s a friendly, microchipped, 40 lb, white and tan pitbull mix. He broke out of his yard in the area of 16th and Arkansas NW by pushing through the fence. He’ll come for food and knows his name.


    Contact: Dave Liedman at (202) 567-7364 or Richard Halverson at 703-608-0428 or [email protected]

  • Rant: Seemed to have picked up a very scratchy spider bite on my face during my sleep last night.

    Rave: Lunar massage. Seriously. My shoulder muscles are very stress-free today!

    Rant/Rave: Lots of work to do–lots of stress, but also lots of billable time!

  • Anonymous

    Rave: Bossman just announced he got a suite for all of us for the Nats game this afternoon! Beer and BBQ, gratis.

    Rant: (if I was forced to have one) Dan Harren

    • Anonymous

      When I worked in NYC, my bossman would do that twice per year for Yankees games. I had so much fun with my coworkers at those events in the private suites (with all you can eat buffet! and open bar! and Johnny, the great waiter who worked in that suite for 30 years!)

      I hate working for the government sometimes :-/

  • BeverlyS

    Rave: Surprised four admins with personalized gifts today. Absolute joy to have them on my team. Quadruple rave for them.
    Rant: Metrobus GPS tracker was down for the specific bus I take this a.m., didn’t realize how much I rely on that piece of technology.
    Rave: Great social event last night with old friends. The kind of friends you can be out of touch with for some time, see each other again, and it’s like putting on an old shoe; some things may have changed, but it’s immediately comfortable and fits you perfectly.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for being a nice person :)

    • as a de-facto admin (as in, I’ve become an admin by default for some reason in this job which isn’t an admin job), it’s nice of you to recognize those who assist you on a daily basis.
      not everyone does that. Most people ignore them.

  • Rave: Feeling good today. Regular exercise is helping my mood, and last night I had some pleasant conversations with folks in the workout session.

    Also, a positive dude situation might (finally) be on the horizon, and it didn’t start online—he actually made an overture. That never happns to me! Woot! (Still, proceed with caution, of course.)

  • Rave: Caps win the SouthLeast Division and clinch the #3 playoff spot. They’d best get better, because it’s not going to be this easy when the realignment kicks in next season.

    Rave: I made English muffins last night. I want to get the recipe from the Coupe, theirs were better. But mine are still better than the packaged ones. It was news to me that you cook the on a griddle. How did I think they get brown on both sides?!

    Rant: still exhausted from a crazy weekend and I can’t concentrate on my work.

  • KC

    Rant: Watching my guy friends ruin their lives by dating (or better yet, prosposing to) girls who are immature, selfish, and generally bad people. Meanwhile I’m still single and leaving my 20s in a month.

    Rave: I got my first tax refund ever this year, thanks to buying a condo last year. Mortgage interest write-off FTW!

    • anon

      KC, i feel your pain! one of my best buds just proposed to a woman i think treats him poorly and things seems real tense all the time. i’ve tried to indirectly approach the issue by asking constructive questions like ‘how does she make you feel? do you feel valued?’ etc, etc. but nobody likes her. what to do?!?!

      • Screw that, just be direct and tell him, “WTF are you doing?” (ok, more like, “You know I don’t think you should do it because ____, ____, etc)

        No reason to beat around the bush.

    • I feel this pain so much. I’m currently dealing with a friend who’s been dating a girl at the cost of eliminating all of the other people in his life that were once so important to him.

      • That’s a sign of abuse. It’s much easier to abuse someone when you’ve taken away their lifelines and support.

        • While you could be right, I think you’re probably jumping to the extreme. Some dudes just get whipped (figuratively speaking here) and drift apart from their friends due to their demanding, whining gf who no one likes.

          • Yeah, this is definitely a case of insecurity/immaturity on her part and lack of a backbone on his part.

    • I understand this completely. It’s sad to see friends, whether male or female, pour in so much effort for someone who is quite frankly not worth it or just incompatible. All we can do is be a friend and try to support them.

  • Rant: Really not sleeping well since the move two weeks ago. Not sure if it’s the bed, mattress, pillows, temperature, or what, but it’s been awful pretty much every night. Thankfully construction on the new place won’t take as long as anticipated and this will hopefully be resolved in a few months regardless.

    Rave: Got my first ever tax refund since moving to DC 5 years ago. It was only around $1,000, but after owing about $5,000 each of the last 2 years it’s a welcome relief for sure.

  • SoAnon

    Rant/rave: Reconnected with an ex this weekend and it was wonderful. Brought up some old feelings, but can’t decide if they’re worth acting on. Simultaneously talking myself into and out of broaching the subject. I am horrible at starting up these kinds of conversations.

  • Frances

    Rant: Election results. It’s not that I have a problem with Anita Bonds winning per se, even though I didn’t vote for her. My issue is with the fact that ANYONE was able to win with only 32% of the vote. It’s especially frustrating when instant runoff voting would solve the problem so easily.

    Rave: Wearing a cute new outfit at work today!

  • k8buggz

    Rave/rant?: taking a furlough afternoon!

  • Rant: Almost to the end of my dreaded Administrative Professionals Day and not even ONE “hey, thanks” or “good job keeping our shit in order”. I mean, I hate today anyways, but this just makes it worse…

    Rave: Ben Rector at the 9:30 Club tonight!
    Rant: Don’t feel well so not too hyped up for the show…

    • Florista

      Well, as a former AA – thanks for all you do! And be glad you don’t have to go on one of those embarassing lunches – where they buy yours and nobody knows what on earth to talk to you about. Longest hour ever!

  • Question: Does anyone know what is coming to the corner of Georgia Ave and Gallatin NW? There used to be an available sign but its gone now. I thought it would be a great place for a nursery (Tree not children).


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