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This Guy Does Not Think Cleveland Park Is Steelers Country

by Prince Of Petworth June 4, 2012 at 10:30 am 124 Comments

Thanks to all who sent notes about the Cleveland Park Banner Thief. The victim writes:

Two videos of a real life crime being committed. This jerk stole my Steelers banner from my back yard. Please help identify the him, the car, his friends/accomplices and anything else that will help me catch this thief. It happened at 12:49 AM, Thursday, May 31st in Washington DC. They drove through the alley from Veazey to Warren Street then stopped, the thief jumped out and the car pulled behind my garage to wait for him to steal the banner. HELP IDENTIFY THIS THIEF AND HIS CO-CONSPIRATORS.

Please help identify this thief and his friends. A police report has been filed with the Second District station in Washington DC. This is the third time that my banner has been stolen, each time attached to my garage or house. Please email me information that will identify this criminal and his friends in the car.

  • ShawShank

    Definitely a Ravens fan. Here we go Steelers, here we go.

    • ah

      +1. The way he was ripping it down didn’t look like he wanted to hang it at his house.

  • paulcotton

    with those clear videos and images of the thief’s face, you should be able to identify him very quickly. good luck.

  • Gotta love CP. Some of the nicest houses in DC and most of them have suveillanece systems that rival military facilities!

    • Anonymous

      A decent surveillance system can be had for one or two thousand dollars. It’s very cheap insurance compared to the cost of the house.

      • Speaking of insurance, does anyone know if having a home surveillance system can be used to decrease the cost of homeowner’s insurance?

      • Mine cost only $400. While fairly basic, it works quite well.

        My insurance doesn’t offer a discount because it isn’t monitored by a service.

  • Tim

    It might be difficult to identify him from these videos. We should send it to the CSI Miami folks to enhance the video so we could get a 300 dpi, 8×10 portrait of the guy. In color.

  • Way to go theif! Screw the Steelers.

    • micah

      typical ravens fan–having trouble with spelling simple words, identifying basic shapes and patterns, etc.

  • lesson.

    root for the home team and this doesn’t happen. its pretty simple.

    • +1

    • Anonymous

      Seriously, no one has ever stolen my Redskins flag.

      I don’t advocate any kind of crime, but security camera video of some drunken 20 year old stealing that banner and the over the top response from the owner is hysterical. It’s like a modern day Ned Kelly

      • No one has stolen your Redskins flag because no one wants to admit to supporting such a lousy team.

        • Well, there is that.

          Signed, fan of the home team anyway.

        • Anonymous

          I know, right? God forbid someone have civic pride and root for their hometown team through the good AND bad times. Only losers do that.

          Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to swapping my Duke car flag for a Heat one.

          • Sadly, I became a fan in the 90s, AFTER the good times. I have only known bad times. Maybe it’s me…

          • Don’t get me wrong – I support diehard fandom. I just pity those whose destiny is to support the Snyder Redskins.

          • anon_

            RGIII !!!

          • Nothing worse than bandwagoners…
            HAIL SKINS

          • Anon5

            How are the Redskins a hometown team if they play in Maryland?

        • Go. Eff. Yourself.

      • yeah dude. I wanna tell this guy to clam down.

  • Stillers fan

    I’m sure the MPD has no important issues to focus on other than solving this sort of heinous crime using the most up-to-date and expensive forensic methods.

    • jcm

      Sure, I’ll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They’ve got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!

      • Anonymous

        Wouldn’t hold out much hope for the flag…or the Creedence.

        • Anonymous

          “papers…. just. papers. business papers.”

          • caballero

            The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

          • EdTheRed

            By God, sir, I will not abide another banner!

      • Anonymous

        Excellent Lebowski reference.

      • Anonymous

        Leads.

  • Anonymous

    Who Dey!

    • Anonymous

      +1 go Bengals!

    • anon

      I’m sure MPD’s experience in catching Bungle sign stealing perps will allow them to blow the lid on this caper

    • Anonymous

      There’s at least a 50% chance it was an active Bengals player who stole this.

      • Anonymous

        +1 very funny!

        • I was a Bungals fan until I got tired of having half the team in jail. Switched to the Brownies. (the only reason I was a Bungals fan was becuase they have the cuter helmets)

  • This is why I don’t understand irrationally hardcore sports fans.

    • anon

      say what yo want about Joe Stiller, but that seems like a pretty straightforward first amendment issue. Trespassing and burglary seems to be the point where the line was crossed.

  • Anonymous

    This is hilarious. I hope they steal it 3 more times.

    • CornholioDC

      +1

      I SPENT GOOD MONEY ON THESE CAMERAS AND THIS IS THE BEST SHOT I GET!?!? PLEASE HELP STOP THESE MENACES!

  • CornholioDC

    Stop shoving your Steelers fandom down your neighbors throats! Flying a flag on game day is one thing…a banner on the side of your house?

    I think this guy did you a favor.

    • Anonymous

      +1. You were making property values plummet. It’s tacky.

    • Anonymous

      No kidding. Hang your banner so YOU can see it, not your neighbors.

      • micah

        yeah, granted. we’re a steelers-packers household and, even for the superbowl, hung our sign only for the day of…

    • Anonymous

      It’s in the BACK YARD.

  • gandhi

    i’m not advocating violence, but it would be nice to see something like this happen to dan snyder, but on a much larger scale.

  • TeamChubbyTurbo

    There seem to be a lot of “Stealers” fans around.

  • DF

    I really hope the OP did not put up the cameras just to spot this. Pretty hilarious though.

  • Anonymous

    BAHAHAHAHA! I think the world is trying to tell you something.

  • GM

    Personally, I’d keep putting the banners up, but rubbing them with poison ivy or some other equally joyous substance every night.

  • dcd

    http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/238557.page

    She’s tamed her rhetoric a little, at least. Previously, this was “really scary” and a “violation on many levels.”

    Even funnier, there’s apparently a “hydrangea thief” in Cleveland Park.

    • maire

      This made my morning. I don’t have kids and never will but the DCUM forums are hysterical! I have the off-topic section bookmarked so I have something to read when I’m waiting for people who are late.

  • Cheering all the way down

    Sports fans who think anyone cares about their ridiculous inherited proclivities are just plain wretched. Go smear your logo feces all around your own living room, this drunkard did you a favor.

    • You’re very bitter. Maybe a tweed ride will cheer you up.

      • anon_

        haha!! excellent!!!

      • This made me smile, well done, theheights

  • Anonymous

    Enhance!!

  • Alex

    Stealing private property is wrong and I hope they catch the guy, but I love how the people who move here from other cities think they have some inherent right to be obnoxious and fly their home cities’ colors all over the place. Have some respect for the city you live in, the city you chose to move to.

    I’d like to see how long a Ravens flag would last if I moved to Pittsburgh and tossed it up on a house. But I’d never move to that sh*thole.

    • yinzer

      Wait…are you saying DC is a hometown for ratbird fans? That’s hilarious. Nobody…NOBODY south of Columbia cares about the ratbirds.

      • Alex

        I used the Ravens as context, since their fans are almost as annoying as Steelers fans, and are their rivals.

    • Anonymous

      Actually, property owners do have a right to display banners or flags on their property.

      • Alex

        And I’d have a “right” to obnoxiously fly Nats flags in Philly, Redskins flags in Dallas, etc, etc, if I happened to own property in those cities. Sure. However, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise to anyone if my flags get stolen. As I asked earlier, how long would it take for a Ravens flag to get stolen in Pittsburgh? I want this guy to answer that, if he’s actually from Western PA. DC has far more tolerance than anywhere else in the country when it comes to this stuff, and while yes, stealing and tresspassing are wrong, I don’t see this as being a big enough deal to make a huge case.

        • new

          Thank you for making sense!

          The OP is a bamma

        • Jason

          love this. We should not be surprised when crimes are committed against us.

    • Anonymous

      In the back yard is not “all over the place,” ass. Get a grip.

  • JS

    fuck the steelers – owner got what he deserved. what a herb.

    • Thor

      I’m afraid your post will be delete soon so hopefully before that…..
      +1000000000

    • Herb

      I had nothing to do with this!

  • Enhance!!!

  • RV

    I don’t condone stealing. This should not have happened. Yet it is fun to blame the victim in this case. The video says this happened on May 31st. Why the hell is this banner up when football season is months away? People take their Christmas decorations down. Also, fuck the Steelers, go Browns!

    • anon

      Don’t worry dude — you’ll be able to keep painting the town brown with your team banner. . . either no one wants to touch it, or it provides comic relief to people in disbelief that someone would actually advertise being a Browns fan

      • RV

        It is a bitter, sad, and lonely existence. Someone’s got to do it.

        • Could be worse. I’m a Lions fan, and we’ve won precisely one playoff game since my father was 15. He turns 70 this year. (But at least I have more hope to crush than you do now.)

        • Anonymous

          trust me, it’s sad for Steeler fans too. We’d rather beat you and have it mean something… or God help me, I’ll take the occasional L just to have it mean something when we inevitably beat you the next time.

          • Seriously, if you need to taunt the Lions to feel good about yourself, you need help. It’s not like we don’t know.

          • Anonymous

            Who’s taunting Lions fans. I’m taunting Browns fans. Doesn’t take much because much like the Lions they practically taunt themselves

  • Anonymous

    So if I move here from somewhere else I have to give up my hometown team and root for a team I have no attachment to? And then people will commend the theft of personal property? Sick.

    • DF

      Some family friends are die hard Pats fans. They fly plenty of flags in their front yard. But, they live in Fairfax County. Maybe more there….

      • dcd

        It’s all in the eyes of the beholder. I’d be a lot more likely to take a NE Cheaters (er, Patriots) banner than a Steelers banner.

        J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!!

    • The horror….the horror…..

    • Alex

      No, but you should have respect for the fact that you aren’t in your hometown anymore and not obnoxiously flaunt massive banners, flags and lame-ass chants in your neighbors’ faces. There’s a reason you moved here from whatever depressing city you came from.

      • Tron anon

        Wow Alex calm down you seem a little bitter. Remember it is just a game and I doubt you own stock in the team. Trust me, the players you are worshiping and defending care nothing about you. Well except for the crappy Redskins gear you buy which helps them get paid.

  • anon

    The hometown rule is a red herring. The Steelers only see the Skins every 4th year, except for preseason (yawn) and Superbowl . . . oh, right . . . never mind

  • This post is hilarious. Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle!

  • Anonymous

    as an attorney i don’t support crime or theft specifically, but as a browns fan i hope he tore up and burned the banner after he ripped it down.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have to be an attorney not to support crime or theft? Can’t you be a regular person?

      • Anon5

        Yes, but attorneys are held to a much higher legal standard than the general public. They are required to take an oath to support the Constitution and the laws of the land.

        Additionally, attorneys much report any and all misconduct. For example, attorneys must notify their ethics board every time they get so much as a speeding ticket.

      • Anonymous

        me thinks you missed the point

        • Anon

          Didn’t you realize that attorneys are also required to always mention that they are attorneys in any conversation they are in, relevance be damned. 

  • As a longtime Indy Colts fan the Steelers stole our shot at the Super Bowl back in 1995 (Kordell Stewart stepped out of bounds on a touchdown, this was before instant replay). I would not be silly enough to display Colts colors in DC.

  • Thor

    If you’re going to put cameras around your house at least put it a little lower so you can see more than the top of someone’s head.

  • Anon X

    What are you going to do? Have him arrested?

    This is a victimless crime. You’re on foreign turf, you should expect this kind of thing when you flaunt your allegiances so openly.

    • This certainly is not a victimless crime. How is this any different from the regular complaints on PoP of bike thefts? If a driver who hates cyclists took to stealing bikes from porches would you say the bike owners were wrong to be angry?

      • Rhody

        Yeah that’s an air-tight analogy.

        This thread is as hilarious as the “crime”.

        • Please explain the difference – you neglected that in your reply. Isn’t theft of property from someone’s home always a crime? Or are some thefts ok in your view?

  • You’re a Steelers fan, you got what you deserve.

    • Anon5

      And you’re a douche.

  • Bloomingdude

    Why not just not care?

    Football is for cheap-reno-flip-suburban-crime-gentrifier types anyway.

  • matt

    “HELP IDENTIFY THIS THIEF AND HIS CO-CONSPIRATORS.”

    Umm, Bin Laden had “co-conspirators.” Some think Lee Harvey Oswald had “co-conspirators.” The guy in your video had drunken friends.

    • Anon5

      Actually, they are all guilty of conspiracy to commit larceny, even the guys in the car.

      If they were drunk, they’re also guilty of driving while intoxicated, and driving drunk is arguably worse than stealing a banner.

      • Anonymous

        Can you prove that the driver was drunk, or are you just making allegations with no basis?

      • matt

        I wasn’t arguing about the technical legal definition of a co-conspirator. I just found it funny that a group of banner thieves are dubbed “co-conspirators.” I don’t think they spent months plotting this evil act. It was probably some drunk idiots who saw the banner and decided to steal it.

        And to the person who said, “Can you prove that the driver was drunk, or are you just making allegations with no basis?”

        Yes, I can prove the driver was drunk. Just like I can prove that you take things way too literally and completely lack a sense of humor. “Allegations with no basis”? Lighten up. Is the driver going to sue me for slander?

  • Anon

    Pretty sure the owner is more concerned about someone trespassing and stealing three times, and he brings up the fact it’s a Steelers banner in case it helps anyone find the guy/car.

  • #richpeopleproblems

    • Rhody

      +1
      Life is tough on the mean streets of Cleveland Park.

  • I hate football. Nevertheless, I empathize with the property owner just for the feeling of violation. Regardless of what team you support or ugly stuff you hang on your house, you should be able to go to bed at night knowing people aren’t going to just come rip stuff off your house.

  • Anonymous

    hilarious.

  • People in this thread need to play nice! Calling other people douches? Saying “Go eff yourself”?? Come on, be civil!

  • Steeler fans make me want to eat barf. Unless you live in Pittsville, PA keep your stupid Squeeler pride on the shelf dude. Your lucky the only thing they did was steal your lousy flags. I’m guessing you’ve already got the next banner hanging loud and proud already right?

  • karma will take of this jagoff, and his team.

    go stillers.

    • *take care of, even.

    • Anonymous

      HERE WE GO STILLERS HERE WE GO!

    • Steel Curtain

      Steeler Nation!

  • R. Lewis

    Any given Sunday in the life of Tommy Maddox…

  • Anonymous

    “Help! An ex-frat-boy and his ‘co-conspirators’ ripped down my football banner!” Third Ward Problems…

    • anonymouser

      Righto, because it’s mandatory a legitimate problem in this city must contain unmerited violence. I’ll take the bye bye banner business any day of the week.

    • Anonymous

      Me likey “Third Ward Problems” good one!

  • Wow, I can’t believe how many people are giving the video poster a hard time. Even if it’s not something that you value personally, this is still theft.

    I don’t follow any professional sports, largely because of the fans. The comments on this post show why.

    • I have to say, I don’t think some of the “quit whining” posters would be happy if I went to their homes and removed whatever decorations weren’t to my taste. No, it’s not murder, but it’s hardly unreasonable to think people shouldn’t be taking your stuff from your home.

  • mrroc

    It is well established that the Steelers quarterback, Ben Rothlisberger, has committed several sexual assaults. The culprits are surely gentlemen of great moral fortitude who respect women and are making a statement. This is a noble act of disobedience and I commend it.

  • wmd

    no iron blankie here, this is Skin country

  • Snarky

    Er, am I the only one who noticed that this didn’t occur in the Cleveland Park neighborhood? This is the North Cleveland Park neighborhood. And before anyone gets on my case about that being some developer’s idea of a new neighborhood, check the facts. North Cleveland Park is an official DC neighborhood and has been called that since the late 19th Century.

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