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Good Deal or Not? Weekly Wed. House Porn Edition

by Prince Of Petworth February 24, 2010 at 1:00 pm 34 Comments

4951_Rockwood_Parkway_NW_38855_HFR

This home is located at 4951 Rockwood Parkway, NW:


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The flier says:

“Premier Miller-built property on the market for the first time. A unique residence, ideal for a private individual or embassy, featuring 6BRs, 7BAs, 5 fireplaces, elevator, 2 gated entries, 108′ flagstone terrace, 5-zone HVAC, grand room, music room & receiving room, four floors of living area and incredible entertainment flow, all in the most desirable location in Spring Valley.”

You can find more info here and a virtual tour here.

This a reader request, they write:

“I was just going through some real estate listings and stumbled upon a $7 million dollar listing in Spring Valley – you have got to look at the pictures of the interior of this place. Granted, its a wonderful house, but the level of gaudiness and gold leafing and crystal chandeliers is absolutely ridiculous. I was honestly cringing looking at each of the pictures. Out of this world and over the top. Just thought the readers would get a kick out of this place and its ridiculousness. Don’t know how anyone could ever see past the decor and buy it for 7 mil.”

Yup, it’s yours for $7 million. And I have to agree with the reader, these are some of the most insane photos I’ve ever seen.

What’s your favorite room?

  • Georgetowner

    The only other time I saw a house that overdecorated was also in Spring Valley.

    As for tacky, it’s bad but it’s still got nothing on Hillwood.

  • Zee

    This place is hilarious. Perfect for the Russian oligarch with a Dutch kitchen fetish.

    The yard looks pretty good. I like that the downstairs bar is clearly labeled with a sign. And props to them for listing the bidet under interior features.

  • Chinatown guru

    HA! Even the elevator has a chandelier! And that kitchen… speechless. Just goes to show you, money can’t buy taste.

    • grumpy

      there’s a chandelier over the jacuzzi too!

  • rg

    lots of antique furniture from various places and periods. The house itself (especially the extorior) is great. Overall its fine just over furnished. assuming those are authenticate, the owner is well travelled and a collector.

    • ah

      Agree — what do you do when you downsize, though?

      It’s way too much stuff, but when you clear it out it wouldn’t be bad (even if chandeliers convey). The bathrooms and kitchens need an update though.

  • Rock Creek

    It’s funny, but if you imagine the house empty and stripped of all the ridiculous furniture, my thought was it’s a pretty plain interior for the money. Not a lot of architectural detail — seems like a vanilla 1980s renovation.

  • Florista

    Even the bar seemed overstocked!! But I’d have to drink a lot if I lived there, too.

  • MK

    Beautiful exterior but the inside looks like pictures I saw in some coffee table book of Donald Trump’s NY apt. Money does not buy taste.

  • ontarioroader

    It’s within the Army chemical munitions/arsenic cleanup area:

    http://www.nab.usace.army.mil/projects/WashingtonDC/springvalley/maps.htm

    Something to consider if you plan to raise children/pets/a garden there.

  • Petworth Res

    OH EM GEE! It’s the set from the sitcom SOAP!

  • Logan Girl

    Decorated quite over the top don’t you think?! I bet it’d see faster empty! Kitchen remodel for sure!

  • Anonymous
  • victoria

    Well that just made my day! I hope they have a garage sale before they move, because I really need some new chandeliers and pouffy curtains.

  • rg

    I like the antique chinese furniture, very cool.
    I wonder if my shitty chinese/norwegian furniture will be considered valuable antiques someday?
    “and here we have the swedish themed “Ikea Room” right off the study”…
    art deco becomes cheap contemporary.

  • Definitely an 80’s renovation and decorating style. Although I hate to admit it, my grandmother had some similar tastes – over the top marble floor, circular staircase, printed wallpaper and plates on the walls. But, um, she also had a little more of an editing eye, and actually bought furniture that matched. Wow.

  • Anonymous

    Viewing these photos made a smile. Best few minutes of my day thus far!

  • Here’s the DC Citizen Atlas record for it. The owner is listed as “FRANCISCO AGUIRRE TRUSTEE.” The obituary above seems as likely as any to be the correct Francisco Aguirre, but it’s not an uncommon name. That’s a Nicaraguan flag behind the desk in the study, and there was a Nicaraguan official named Francisco Aguirre Sacasa who apparently served as the Ambassador to the US (that position is currently open, and it’s surprisingly difficult to track down the names of former ambassadors) and thus also lived in Washington. Francisco Aguirre Sacasa probably didn’t have the kind of money indicated by that house, though, and Francisco Aguirre Baca is described as having been successful with real estate investments.

    • grumpy

      I think Sacasa may have been the son of Baca – sounds like he led an interesting life!

  • Luddite

    Whoever the “interior designer” of that house was/is needs to be incarcerated for having such bad taste. My eyes still hurt from looking at the kitchen. I think I had a petit mal seizure from the blue kitchen.

    $7M huh? Does the furniture convey with the house? :-)

    • ah

      With furniture, it’s $6.5m.

      • Bitter Elitist

        Bring it down 3 and we have a deal. It will take College Hunks & 1-800 Junk months to clear that mess out.

  • Anonymous

    I kind of love it. The Scando-Dutch kitchen and bedroom with a bazillion pillows are the most coveted.

  • Matt

    I can’t tell if it’s really house porn with all of the stuff, but the surrounding landscape is pretty sweet. Try to profile some of those Newark street houses back up in Cleveland Park.

  • It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies mansion after a trip around the world. I wonder if Ellie Mae keeps any of her critters in that elevator.

  • That’s some of the nicest arsenic-laden property money can buy.

  • ET

    This is a prime example of what stagers mean by sellers needing to take out their personality because if they don’t buyers might not be able to see past that.

    I am sort of fascinated with the pink wall-papered living room and dining room.

    Did anyone notice the rather extensive spoons(?) collection hidden amongst the wall paper on the kitchen walls. Imagine packing up all of those collections and things – makes me want to cry.

  • Bitter Elitist

    Scarface designed this for a 3rd-world diplomat. It’s Springfield Mall Chinese shop meets Delft factory outlet meets Catholic pilgrimage gift shop meets flag counter at Pentagon City.

    I can guarantee that this was paid for with money siphoned from the ___ Treasury

  • Wow, horrific. Reminds me of Woody Allen’s house in “Small Time Crooks” after they became nouveau-riche. There is bad taste, and then there is spectacularly bad taste …

  • Anonymous

    bwahahahha

    love the el greco reproduction over the stuffed-to-the-gills piano.

  • PFL

    The sauna…

  • A bidet? Really? REALLY?

    I am having a hard time with “$7 million” for anything in DC that’s not at least 2 acres. I mean that’s insane. The assement is only $1.5 mil! Not that assessments mean much but $7 mil seems off by about, er, $5 mil.

    Spring Valley also has some issues, doesn’t it? I forget the details but I believe “superfund” is part of it.

  • Eric in Ledroiit

    only in dc would a $7M house have bars on the windows in the back of the house. check out the windows on the vinyl siding in the first few pictures of the back.

    that reminds me, only in dc would a $7M house have vinyl siding. i’m surprised there’s no pop-up.

  • Andy(2)

    This is the worst porn ever – I think I vomited in my mouth.
    It was like an act of necrophilia set in the 1980s.
    I think the estate’s heirs need some money and think the house is a gold mine.
    The house needs a remodel – everywhere.
    Compare this house to George Stephanopolis’ in G-town and this looks like the highway robbery it is.

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