Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

god saying hello
Photo by PoPville flickr user Eric P.

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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141 Comment

  • Rant: Another blocked milk duct. The pain is excruciating. I just want to curl up in bed today.
    Rant: Busy week at work and lots to do.
    Rave: Almond croissaint for breakfast.

  • Beyond a rant: friends from college lost their infant and they don’t even know why yet. She was perfectly healthy and within hours of taking her to the doctor for a cold she was dead. I just cannot believe it. I cannot imagine the pain they’re going through. I haven’t seen them in awhile, but I cannot stop thinking about it.

    • I am so so sorry for their loss. I think this is one of the worst nightmares a family can endure.

    • This is unimaginably awful. My heart goes out to them.
      .
      Even if you haven’t seen them in a while, it will probably mean a lot to them to hear from you, even if just a card to say you’re thinking about them.

      • I know, I have been thinking of what to send. Card? Flowers? It all just seems like not enough in the face of their loss.

        • You could do flowers, but they may be getting a lot of them. Maybe a donation to a charity they care about in their child’s memory?
          .
          You could also give them a call in a few weeks to see how they’re doing. I think it can be hard for people once everything quiets down and family leaves town after a funeral.

          • Agreed on remembering to check in after a few weeks, and then periodically after that. Until then–I think a card would be lovely.

        • this is so devastating. I think card or flowers would be lovely — a very different situation but we lost my grandmother very suddenly and the cards and flowers were nice physical reminders of all the people we have that care about us.

        • A card with a handwritten note is probably the thing here. They may set up a fund or something else down the line but just hearing that you’re thinking about them may be of comfort. I’m so sorry to hear about this – how terribly sad.

        • It wasn’t the same situation, but a friend of mine went through a terrible event recently. I didn’t know what to do, nothing really felt right. In the end I just sent her a short email about how I was so glad she was ok, thinking about her, and that I’m there for her if she needs to talk/not talk/a distraction/anything else she could possibly need. She didn’t respond, but I still followed up periodically just to say she’s in my thoughts and I’m still here for her. I think I worded it in such a way that there wasn’t necessarily any action required from her (i.e. no questions, just a statement of support). Months later I saw her and she said that just those messages meant a lot to her, even though she couldn’t bring herself to respond at the time.
          .
          Anyway, a super small effort that was appreciated. I think the checking in without any expectation of a response helped a lot, gave her support without the pressure of needing to reciprocate in some way while still working through things. Everyone grieves differently, so my thought was to let her do (or not do) whatever she needed.

    • oh god, that’s awful, I am so sorry to hear this, and so very sorry for their loss. I know it won’t make it any easier, but I do hope they get some answers eventually as so why this happened, if only so that they know and don’t have that hanging over them.

    • That’s so horrible. I second the suggestion to send a card, they’ll appreciate it.

    • Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry for their loss. Totally unimaginable. I’ll say a prayer for them.

    • Wow. I have no words. How terrible.

      Can you send them food, make sure they’re eating?

      • I was thinking about that too. I have reached out to some friends trying to see if anyone is setting up one of those food delivery calendars since I doubt they will be cooking.

        • That sounds like a good idea. Do they have other children? If so, setting something up to help care for the other kid(s) might also be helpful.

          • Yes, they also have a toddler.

          • Oh my. Offering to take the toddler to the playground/museum/etc might also be helpful–or offering to babysit so they can take care of other things as needed. I can imagine both wanting to hold the older child super close but also needing a little extra space to grieve, so they may not take people up on it but hopefully another helpful thing to offer.

      • That’s what I was going to suggest too. One of my friends from college brought over a cooler filled with food for us after our daughter died and it was the greatest gift possible. Neither of us had much of an appetite so it was nice to be able to just warm up a plate of pre-cooked food and not have to figure out something to eat.
        The cards and letters we received were also really touching. We actually have kept all of them in her memory box.

    • That One Guy

      If there are other siblings in this family maybe remember to do something for them too.

    • Oh, this is such a rough situation. While I second the earlier suggestions of a card, charitable donation, or meal now, don’t forget to check back in with from time-to-time over the coming weeks. There is such an outpouring of support in the initial days after a tragedy, but that slowly ebbs away. Even a simple “thinking of you and checking in” email can mean a lot a few months out.

      • I second that. It means a lot to me even moreso now than when my father passed away last spring. I can imagine it would me the world to people who lost their baby.

    • I was in your exact position last fall. I will be thinking of you and your friends.

    • Thanks for all thoughts and ideas everyone. So I think I’ll send a card, meal, and if they decide to set up a fund or choose a charity I’ll donate to that. And of course I’ll reach out to them in a few weeks or so.

      • When you reach out in a few weeks, I would mention in message or email that it is okay if they don’t get back to you (you just wanted to let them know you were thinking of them). I did this with my friends who lost their son last year, basically just giving them permission to not feel bad if they aren’t up for responding.

      • I used Instacart to send food, both ready to eat and groceries/non-perishables, to a friend’s family over the course of a few days after one of the parents passed away. I ordered from Whole Foods but there are also other options depending on location. It was a good option for friends who don’t live in the area to deliver food themselves but wanted to help out beyond sending flowers. I was able to add a flower arrangement to one order as well. I hope this doesn’t sound too much like an ad :/

  • Rave: I got the day off due to the power being off at the office.

    Rant: I left my computer there last night so now tomorrow will mean even more work.

    Rant: This is the second time in a month that a transformer fire has knocked out power either at my apartment or work. Get it together, DC.

    • skj84

      I’m in the same boat. And I have a partial day tomorrow. I’m am going to be so far behind.

      • I stayed home with a migraine (although my apartment power did get knocked by that first transformer fire!) and I am also going to have an unbelievable amount of work tomorrow when I go back tomorrow.

  • skj84

    Rave: it was good seeing everyone at happy hour yesterday!
    Rant: my office is affected by the power outage. I didn’t bring my laptop home with me. I hope to goodness the power is back on tomorrow. If it’s up and running this evening I may stop by to pick up my laptop.
    Rave: making the best of my day off. Going to get a mani-pedi and do some grocery shopping. I guess I could do some binge watching.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: Cranky and tired.
    Rant: The Office Princess is driving me nuts.
    Possibility: These 2 things may be related.

  • Rave: Got the job! Very excited.
    Rant: Imposter syndrome swiftly kicking in.
    Rave: Got the offer the day I got to the beach with SO’s college friends so it was a nice, long weekend of relaxing and celebrating. They’re not the easiest bunch to get to know but I feel like this trip was a turning point and I finally feel like I’m part of the group too.

  • What happened at the Navy Yard Metro this morning?? Two fire trucks, one ambulance at 8:45am this morning at the New Jersey Ave entrance. I may have smelled smoke too?

    • It was a woman having breathing distress – no smoke or train issues. The EMTs were taking care of her and taking her out of the station in a wheelchair when I walked through at 8:50.

  • Rave: I took the afternoon off to go to the dentist yesterday and I got my sunglasses adjusted next door and a delicious iced latte at Bourbon Coffee.
    Rave: I also got home early and celebrated DOG’s adoptaversary with a huge cookie and a trip to the dog park with his new Chuck it. It seems like more of a gift for me than him.
    Rant: in a first, he peed in the house. He didn’t go out last night because of the storm and we had gone out earlier than usual before the storm. He was so sad and timid this morning. Poor guy.

  • Second day back at work after three days of sick leave.* Almost worse than the first day back, because all the easy quick-hit stuff has been done, and it’s all the longer, more involved stuff is still left. So, it’s a very Tuesday-ish Tuesday.

    *Note: Sick with a miserable little bug that I am sure I caught at Jury Duty a week ago. Ahh Jury Duty – the gift that keeps on giving.

    • Were you there last Tuesday? I was! Never got called, however, just sat in the room all day….

    • No, I was there on Thursday. Same thing though – there wasn’t one panel called for all day, so we all just sat in the juror’s lounge watching CNN and waiting and waiting.
      And, apparently, sharing germs. I got sick, but I got my $4 visa card!

  • Rant and Rave: My 13 block walk this morning may not have been hot but I felt like I was swimming.

  • Farragut

    RANT: I was taking a random Ride On bus back to Takoma Park, and I didn’t realize until after I got on that it would take me by the Flower Branch Apartments (site of the explosion last week). Despite having seen the photos on WaPo, it still hurt to see it in person. 🙁 Still lots of ambulances parked nearby and Red Cross tents and a construction crane.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant and Rave: My sweet and beautiful Lucy passed away last night. It was not unexpected—she suddenly lost mobility in her hind legs on Sunday morning and started refusing my attempts at hand-feeding her Sunday night. She left us peacefully from her favorite place, on the couch next to me with her head resting on my lap. I played “Lucy in the Skies with Diamonds” one last time for her before wrapping her in her favorite lime green blanket.
    It’s very quiet here this morning.

  • dcgator

    Rant/Rave: The streetz feel extremely quiet this week. Does it seem like even more people than usual are gone this August?

    Rant: Got some movement going on at work, and will soon have an officemate after 2+ months of being solo. Guess that means less PoPville.

  • Rave: Fun seeing a gang of friends and regulars at HH last night!
    Rant: Getting soaked in my tiny bit of time outside – just a 30-second dash from metro to building is all it takes, apparently
    Rave: My grey cat had the hiccups last night and it was the cutest, funniest thing ever! I wish I had gotten it on video!
    Question: As I’m looking for a new place in Silver Spring, I’m realizing that I don’t have a clue as to how best to navigate this market. I don’t think my normal “stalk craigslist” mode is going to work because we’re kind of far ahead of the game (current lease doesn’t expire til end of Jan 2017). Do I break the lease a few months early? Do I utilize some sort of agent? If an agent, how much does that typically cost (we’re only renting)? I am so overwhelmed right now!

    • Does it make sense to get a sense for the market first by looking into the larger apartment buildings and what they are offering?

    • Why are you considering breaking the lease rather than just waiting and looking closer to your expected move date? Agents are typically paid by the landlord, so you should be good on that one.
      I cannot speak for Silver Spring specifically, but I found my super cheap, dog friendly w/o fees apt in January with only 2 weeks to look. I found it on CL, but I also checked property manager sites at that time.

      • Thanks Anon Spock – I’m not really considering breaking the lease, it was just something someone mentioned and I wasn’t sure how economically sound it was, but I also wasn’t sure if end of the year was a bad time to be looking. I just hate, HATE, leaving things til the last minute, and I think I would have a heart attack if I didn’t have a place nailed down until 2 weeks before I had to move out!

      • Breaking it with this many months left would be very expensive. I could see maybe leaving a month early if you found the perfect place in December, but otherwise, I wouldn’t do it.
        I wasn’t really worried. Worse case scenario I get something temporary. January may have low supply but demand is very low too. The search became much easier when I decided to get my own space rather than try to fight my way into an existing setup.

        • Good point, I wasn’t really keen to break a lease, and I still see pretty much no reason to do so, for our situation.

    • If I can offer some advice from my recent adventures in house hunting… looking early gets you no where, unless you are going to break your lease. Landlords will not hold on to properties more than a few weeks, maybe a month if you are lucky. Also, looking at inventory now is very different than the inventory that will be available in January. In January, everyone is settled into their jobs/internship/whatever; it’s right after Christmas and when bills roll in, so people are less likely to make any major changes. You’ll just drive yourself crazy finding “perfect” house after “perfect” house and not be able to move. What you can do now is research. go to neighborhoods. See which ones you like best and which ones you want to Target. Since you aren’t all together familiar with Silver Spring, take the bus/train up a few weekends and check it out. Silver Spring is actually a very large area, with lots of variation (example: I would totally live in downtown Silver Spring, but forget the area around Wheaton metro that is technically Silver Spring), so it’s good to familiarize yourself before seriously considering places. For us, we started looking on our own and ended up going with a realtor to find us a place in the end. I had a lot of trouble getting landlords to respond to me, and the process was frustrating. Our realtor was awesome and especially as we got to crunch time, worked really hard for us. Good luck!

      • Andie302

        +1 to all of this. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you start looking. You should be able to identify something about 4 weeks out, maybe a little bit sooner if you go with a big building (since it may require 60 days notice of residents to move out). You could put a housing wanted ad on CL with your timeframe in case an individual landlord has something that works for you.

        • +2. The only time it is really worth it to break the lease early is if for some reason you’d be on travel/etc. when your lease expired. I thought of breaking my lease early last year and decided against it because it would have been a very expensive endeavor. Don’t do it. You’ll find a place in January and you might even have a shot at getting a break in the rent at the new place because of the low demand in the winter.

      • Thanks Anonamom and Andie, I appreciate the advice, you’re right – I’ll work with my cousins to try and get familiar with the area, figure out where we want to target, and then come up with a CL ad regarding housing wanted, since that probably can’t hurt! it ‘s just sooooo hard for me, a super-duper planner, to just “wing it” to this extent, especially with something as (seemingly) important as where I’m going to live.. Uggggh! I may need to stock up on booze over these next several months!

        • lol – I know EXACTLY how you feel. The whole moving process was a major lesson to me in managing my stress/anxiety about not being able to plan/control everything on the time line I wanted. Just try to be patient and control/plan in other ways!

          • Thanks! I’ll try to channel my planning/controlling urges in the direction of throwing sh#t out so I have less to pack up and move!

      • I second the comment about how big Silver Spring is. It’s not a legal boundary so listings can call spots up to Howard County Silver Spring. And there’s a huuuuge difference between downtown Silver Spring, Wheaton, and White Oak or Four Corners or Kemp Mill.
        .
        Warning: I had friends who lives in the Falklands, at 16th and East West Highway (basically downtown SS), and had a terrible experience. Do not recommend.

        • Ah, thanks for the heads up, that one looked sort of promising but maybe not….and yeah, I need to be in/very near downtown SS, because while my roomies both have cars, I do not, and our schedules are all different enough that I need to be able to get where I want to go on my own….gulp! I’m wavering between excitement and extreme nervousness thinking about this undertaking!

        • What kind of terrible experience? My friends who lived there didn’t have any complaints.

          • They said there were multiple structural (particularly electrical) issues that made it unsafe to live there. They moved out a few years ago so it may have changed since then.

        • True story: I used to date a girl who was kind of crazy, and one night we met a guy while we were out who invited us back to his place in SS. He offered to drive, which I thought was a bad idea, but my girlfriend persuaded me to come along. The guy ended up being reallllly far out– his apartment building was surrounded by empty fields as far as the eye could see– and in order to get home we had to hitchhike to a gas station, then call for a cab to take us to the SS metro. The cab ride to the metro cost over $50. Lesson learned– there are parts of SS that are rural as hell.

        • I have a family member who lives there, and it’s definitely not remotely luxurious, but for their needs, it works. Very pet friendly and great neighbors, lots of green space and very convenient, but the buildings are older and thus, nothing fancy.

      • THIS THIS THIS!

        Also, on some of these walks/explorations, test your commute. See how often buses actually come. Time your walk from a neighbourhood to the metro. Examine the sidewalks – will they suck in the winter?

        You can start looking at big buildings if that’s an option you’re exploring. They do not know who will still be living there in January, so they don’t know availability, but the layout doesn’t change nor do the amenities.

        Also, in reviewing ads, start making lists of what you like, what you can’t live without, how much those things seem to cost, etc. Research where your breaking points appear to be, so you get really good at understanding the average market.

        There’s a lot you can do in research – you live in a neighbourhood, not just a building, after all, and you’re learning the neighbourhood and market right now. (I’m a planner, too, and I live practically in DTSS and am constantly reviewing the market as a reminder that I like affording hobbies and thus make adult trade-offs like continuing to live with roommates.)

    • Not too early just prep for breaking the lease if necessary

  • Rave: Got out of the house at 8:20 this morning! It’s amazing what happens when everyone is up on time and the motivated to leave in a timely fashion.
    Rave: Hopefully that bodes well for my daughter’s start to PK3 and our new early schedule!
    Rant: Random wasp on our back door last night. So weird. Took FOREVER to get the guts to deal with it.
    Rave: Got it out of the house without anyone being stung.
    Rant: Ended up staying up later than expected as a result.
    (whispered rave to avoid jinxing the very new development: mtpbaby doesn’t seem to need to nurse at night anymore. so even though I’ve been up later/waking earlier the last two days, I’m getting better sleep in between)
    Rant: mtpbaby’s appetite at day care has been through the roof since his primary teacher is back. I’m glad he’s eating/taking bottles better, but unless it settles down again, we will likely have to start supplementing with formula, which makes me much sadder than it should. The rant is more about my silly reaction than his appetite. Thank goodness he seemed to tolerate the soy formula we tried over the weekend!

    • Oh, I understand the sadness re: the possibility of having to supplement. It isn’t rational, but I think it is very, very normal. I always just try to remind myself (and others) that a fed baby is best.

      • Thank you. It’s always been a source of anxiety for me, for one reason or another , with both kids. But really, he’s nearly 10 months old. And would still get mostly breastmilk. He’s just had such difficulties with food issues that I’m gun-shy on anything new. And, of course, the sadness at the feeling of not providing enough…. but I’m trying to remind myself that it’s really ok. (since, of course, it is)

  • Revel: enjoyed happy hour last night
    Rant: woman was supposed to see my car last night. She didn’t.
    Revel: it’s a rough transition to the new boss

    • That One Guy

      What were the issues with your old car again? I may need to buy a get around the neighborhood car.

      • I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now. The clear coat is fading, the passenger side window won’t roll down,the driver’s side window only goes up 99% of the way. There’s minor front bumper damage. The air conditioner only blows cool, not cold, air. Only the passengers side door can be unlocked with the key (but you can walk around to get into the drivers side). The car is in good shape mechanically though. 140k miles. Hoping to get $1,500

    • Ugh, that’s frustrating. We need to sell/donate our car as well but haven’t had the chance to deal with it. May just donate it unless anyone is interested in a 15yo golf with a manual transmission….

  • Rave: Compared to the other rants my rants are actually really minor.
    .
    Rant: At home with a migraine today. I’m doing two jobs at work this week and next week so I’m going to have a TON to do tomorrow, but I’m thinking there’s some emails I can draft this afternoon from home and just not send yet to take some of the load off.
    .
    Rant: Missed happy hour last night. Bah! Next time.
    .
    Rave: Looking forward to Kyirisan tomorrow and a shindig at my place this weekend. Will be feeling so much better for both.
    .
    I’m so sorry it has been such a hard week for a lot of the PoPville community :[ I’m keeping you all in my thoughts!

  • topscallop

    Rave: made it to the gym this morning and through a tough workout class
    Rant: ate a chocolate croissant when I got to work. It was delicious but now I feel guilty
    Rave: my relationship makes me so, so happy every day
    Rave: visiting my family this weekend. It’ll be nice to see them, but I know it’ll also be sad since our beloved old dog recently had to be put to sleep. We may have a little ceremony for him since my sister will also be home.
    Rant: my landlord is AWOL and my house has something that needs to be fixed, that could be a security hazard if it isn’t. The next message I leave I may tell her we will have it fixed ourselves and deduct from next month’s rent, or withhold rent until she gets it fixed. But if she never responds I’m not sure what our options are.

    • I’d give her some warning and maybe put in a call to dcra to get it on the record that you did try to make contact several times before going self-help. She may ultimately fight you on it, but I think a security issue where you’ve warned her you’re going to fix it and deduct should be ok.

  • Rant/Rave: 6 AM Amtrak commute. Saw a beautiful sunrise though and read (and cried – this book is so difficult and so beautiful) as I sipped my vanilla black tea.
    Rant: Nausea from vitamins. I really hate taking pills but need to take the vitamins. Might consider the gummies.
    Rave: Weeks of being between only two cities stretch out before me (no major travel until October).
    Rant/Rave: Home has been turned over to new tenants, tonight, I start crashing at my friend’s one night a week. It’s a rant because Tuesdays are loooong days and I usually just want to hide and crash, but it’s a rave because she’s sweet and kind and has wonderful animals. Any ideas for how to kick off the crashing well? I’m definitely going to do housekeeping, cook dinner, and take care of the kitties and puppies. I was thinking flowers or cupcakes for this evening.

    • Andie302

      Go with the flowers! They will last longer and if you start off with cupcakes it may become a tradition of crap eating in the middle of the week that neither of you is really thrilled about. Or at least it would for me 🙂

    • Flowers are always nice – unless her kitties like to eat them or knock over the vase – which is pretty common. How about a bottle of wine?

  • Rave: Fitbit’s limited warranty. My Fitbit stopped working over the weekend after only having it for 9 months, and after some troubleshooting that wasn’t successful and a few quick emails back and forth with their customer service Sunday night, they are shipping me a replacement Fitbit!
    Rant: Not loving my new shared workspace/new coworker. This person doesn’t really know how to work on a team, and is very dense when it comes to working in an office environment. Poor word choices, poor phrasing–this person is going to burn a lot of bridges, which isn’t going to make their job easier.
    Rave: boss who is very supportive of teleworking.
    Rant: One of the cats in my house just puked all over some work notes. Brat.
    Rave: At least it wasn’t on my new PC.. less than 6 inches away? Still gross.

  • Rave: my garden was bone-dry and really needed that 2+ inches of rain we got last night!
    Bonus rave: no storm damage!
    Rant: seriously can’t think of any

  • Rant: Kitten adoptions have been SO slow this summer. Summer is always difficult, but I have 4 of the cutest, most sociable, kid & dog friendly little beasties looking for a home!
    http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/pet/5695313598.html

  • Rant: Disappointed to have missed last night’s happy hour. (I wasn’t feeling well.) Which PoPville regulars/newbies/lurkers were there?
    Rave: Ahead of my to-do list for today.
    Rave: Last night’s rain saved me from having to water my outdoor plants.
    Rant: I still had to go out this morning (while it was relatively cool) to pull the dead foliage from my plants. I’d forgotten how exhausting gardening can be — not just being outdoors in the heat, but all of the bending to reach things on the ground.
    Rave: The yard and treebox area look much better now.

  • Rant: 5-6 rapid gun shots about 30-50 feet away from my place last night in Pleasant Plains.

  • I am helping to promote the adoption of senior pets in DC, and Puffy (15 years old cat) is still at the Washington Humane Society/WARL after his owner passed away. A sponsor is waiving his adoption fees, so if you can help provide a comfortable home for an older gentleman, please help Puffy! http://www.petango.com/webservices/adoptablesearch/wsAdoptableAnimalDetails.aspx?id=31494921&css=https://secure3.convio.net/whsdc/assets/css/pettango.css&PopUp=true

  • Rant: Think I almost fainted at an event last night, and had to leave early to get some air. Too little water, too little food between lunch and then, and too many people around me. No bueno.
    Rave: Fun relaxing night of drinking water, frozen pizza, and the Olympics with the fella. Nice to do something chill – must do more of that.
    Rant: Need to hear back from the interview!! Just tell me no already.
    Revel: Seeing family over Labor Day!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Training new people can be so exhausting, especially when I have to find busy work to occupy their time while we wait for them to get the credentials to log into databases.
    Rave: It was fun to see everyone at happy hour last night.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: great to see everybody at the Happy Hour last night!
    Rave: the rain was beautiful but I’m glad for Uber 🙂

  • It’s been 7 years since I’ve been in college. I really miss it. Maybe this is a first world problem.. but I was so much happier back then. I regularly had the to hang out with friends, I saw myself in a better light, I was more ambitious, and just generally so much happier. Life was much better back then, not now.

    • Oh I am right there with you (although it’s only been 4 years for me), and trying to get back to that happy place with myself since I know that I can’t rewind time and go back to college.

  • Revel: ac is out at work so they let us leave at 12:30

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